[JOTD] The ocean of beer
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Yeah, it's probably a repost. So what? ;) It might even cool the tempers round here. Two men were adrift in a life boat following a shipwreck. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, one of the men came across an old lamp. He rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of the castaways, a genie appeared! This particular genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three. Without giving much thought to the matter the man blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into beer!" Immediately the Genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and the entire sea turned to the finest brew ever sampled by mortals. Simultaneously, the Genie vanished to his freedom. Only the gentle lapping of beer on the hull broke the sudden stillness as the the two men considered their circumstances. The other man looked disgustedly at the one whose wish had been granted. After a long, tension-filled moment, he spoke: "Nice going! Now we're going to have to pee in the boat!"
Cheers, Vikram.
The hands that help are holier than the lips that pray.
This is probably a repost as well, but it makes me chuckle... Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want". The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; her clothes probably wouldn't have fit you, anyway."
Vincent www.pub-olympics.com
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This is probably a repost as well, but it makes me chuckle... Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want". The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; her clothes probably wouldn't have fit you, anyway."
Vincent www.pub-olympics.com
one of my all time favorites. Of course it is just engineer's dreams that any woman would actually do that. ;-) Even the women who only date engineers are only after the money, unless they are already engineers in which case there are very few and taken fast. :-D
_________________________ Asu no koto o ieba, tenjo de nezumi ga warau. Talk about things of tomorrow and the mice in the ceiling laugh. (Japanese Proverb) John Andrew Holmes "It is well to remember that the entire universe, with one trifling exception, is composed of others."
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one of my all time favorites. Of course it is just engineer's dreams that any woman would actually do that. ;-) Even the women who only date engineers are only after the money, unless they are already engineers in which case there are very few and taken fast. :-D
_________________________ Asu no koto o ieba, tenjo de nezumi ga warau. Talk about things of tomorrow and the mice in the ceiling laugh. (Japanese Proverb) John Andrew Holmes "It is well to remember that the entire universe, with one trifling exception, is composed of others."
Hey! I resemble that remark! Oh...wait. :doh: :-O :-\
Anna :rose: Linting the day away :cool: Anna's Place | Tears and Laughter "If mushy peas are the food of the devil, the stotty cake is the frisbee of God"
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one of my all time favorites. Of course it is just engineer's dreams that any woman would actually do that. ;-) Even the women who only date engineers are only after the money, unless they are already engineers in which case there are very few and taken fast. :-D
_________________________ Asu no koto o ieba, tenjo de nezumi ga warau. Talk about things of tomorrow and the mice in the ceiling laugh. (Japanese Proverb) John Andrew Holmes "It is well to remember that the entire universe, with one trifling exception, is composed of others."
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Engineering groupies?
Visit http://www.notreadytogiveup.com/[^] and do something special today.
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I Wish!!!
At university studying Software Engineering - if i say this line to girls i find they won't talk to me Dan
DanB1983 wrote:
I Wish!!!
I used to.
DanB1983 wrote:
At university studying Software Engineering - if i say this line to girls i find they won't talk to me
They used to. :D (seemed hilarious in my head)
"Every time Lotus Notes starts up, somewhere a puppy, a kitten, a lamb, and a baby seal are killed. Lotus Notes is a conspiracy by the forces of Satan to drive us over the brink into madness. The CRC-32 for each file in the installation includes the numbers 666." Gary Wheeler "You're an idiot." John Simmons, THE Outlaw programmer "I realised that all of my best anecdotes started with "So there we were, pissed". Pete O'Hanlon
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Engineering groupies?
Visit http://www.notreadytogiveup.com/[^] and do something special today.
Trollslayer wrote:
Engineering groupies?
I saw one at Siggraph, a lady, tall, reasonably slim but no where near anorexic, and extremely well built on top. She wore a tight fitting T-Shirt that read, "I only date nerds." or something to that extent (might have been geeks, my memory is failing). I saw her later with one of the speakers in arm. Yup, definitely a groupie, but they are few and far between. got to watch those though... you don't always know the motivations. My 1st ex just wanted a stepping stone while waiting to get to someone else. My 2nd ex only wanted the money.
_________________________ Asu no koto o ieba, tenjo de nezumi ga warau. Talk about things of tomorrow and the mice in the ceiling laugh. (Japanese Proverb) John Andrew Holmes "It is well to remember that the entire universe, with one trifling exception, is composed of others."
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DanB1983 wrote:
I Wish!!!
I used to.
DanB1983 wrote:
At university studying Software Engineering - if i say this line to girls i find they won't talk to me
They used to. :D (seemed hilarious in my head)
"Every time Lotus Notes starts up, somewhere a puppy, a kitten, a lamb, and a baby seal are killed. Lotus Notes is a conspiracy by the forces of Satan to drive us over the brink into madness. The CRC-32 for each file in the installation includes the numbers 666." Gary Wheeler "You're an idiot." John Simmons, THE Outlaw programmer "I realised that all of my best anecdotes started with "So there we were, pissed". Pete O'Hanlon
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Trollslayer wrote:
Engineering groupies?
I saw one at Siggraph, a lady, tall, reasonably slim but no where near anorexic, and extremely well built on top. She wore a tight fitting T-Shirt that read, "I only date nerds." or something to that extent (might have been geeks, my memory is failing). I saw her later with one of the speakers in arm. Yup, definitely a groupie, but they are few and far between. got to watch those though... you don't always know the motivations. My 1st ex just wanted a stepping stone while waiting to get to someone else. My 2nd ex only wanted the money.
_________________________ Asu no koto o ieba, tenjo de nezumi ga warau. Talk about things of tomorrow and the mice in the ceiling laugh. (Japanese Proverb) John Andrew Holmes "It is well to remember that the entire universe, with one trifling exception, is composed of others."
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There's money involved?!?! :-P
At university studying Software Engineering - if i say this line to girls i find they won't talk to me Dan
DanB1983 wrote:
There's money involved?!?! :-P
If you are lucky!
_________________________ Asu no koto o ieba, tenjo de nezumi ga warau. Talk about things of tomorrow and the mice in the ceiling laugh. (Japanese Proverb) John Andrew Holmes "It is well to remember that the entire universe, with one trifling exception, is composed of others."
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Yeah, it's probably a repost. So what? ;) It might even cool the tempers round here. Two men were adrift in a life boat following a shipwreck. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, one of the men came across an old lamp. He rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of the castaways, a genie appeared! This particular genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three. Without giving much thought to the matter the man blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into beer!" Immediately the Genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and the entire sea turned to the finest brew ever sampled by mortals. Simultaneously, the Genie vanished to his freedom. Only the gentle lapping of beer on the hull broke the sudden stillness as the the two men considered their circumstances. The other man looked disgustedly at the one whose wish had been granted. After a long, tension-filled moment, he spoke: "Nice going! Now we're going to have to pee in the boat!"
Cheers, Vikram.
The hands that help are holier than the lips that pray.
Awesome joke Vik. Nice one. :laugh:
Deja View - the feeling that you've seen this post before.
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Hey! I resemble that remark! Oh...wait. :doh: :-O :-\
Anna :rose: Linting the day away :cool: Anna's Place | Tears and Laughter "If mushy peas are the food of the devil, the stotty cake is the frisbee of God"
Hey, Anna! Good to hear from you. It seems like I haven't 'seen' you in the Lounge in quite a while (I assume that means that Riverblade is going gangbusters).
Software Zen:
delete this;
Fold With Us![^] -
Hey, Anna! Good to hear from you. It seems like I haven't 'seen' you in the Lounge in quite a while (I assume that means that Riverblade is going gangbusters).
Software Zen:
delete this;
Fold With Us![^]Hiya Gary!:) I'm still around...I've been mostly lurking for a while as I didn't feel I had much to contribute beyond what I was doing with the company - and I didn't want to inadvertantly stray into "product plug" teritory. :rolleyes: At the moment I've a little more time (the ACCU Conference and end of year have passed), so I'm catching up on things...I've two article updates and a new one to publish, for a start. :)
Anna :rose: Linting the day away :cool: Anna's Place | Tears and Laughter "If mushy peas are the food of the devil, the stotty cake is the frisbee of God"