JOTD
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Farmer Bob had two cows, a white cow and a brown cow. Now Bob wanted to raise some more cattle so he went out and borrowed his neighbor's prize bull and set his son to the task of watching the cows and the bull, telling him to come running to keep him abreast of what's happening. As Bob was doing his farm chores, his son comes running, yelling with excitement for all he was worth, "Papa, papa! The bull just f$*@ed the brown cow!" To which Bob replied, "Son, you're too young to say that word, you're only 8. You should say 'surprised'." "OK papa" was the little one's dry reply. A while later, the boy comes running again calling out "Papa! Papa!" Bob stops what he was doing and asks his son, "What happened son? Did the bull surprise the white cow?" "He sure did Papa! He f$*@ed the brown cow again!"
"Every time Lotus Notes starts up, somewhere a puppy, a kitten, a lamb, and a baby seal are killed. Lotus Notes is a conspiracy by the forces of Satan to drive us over the brink into madness. The CRC-32 for each file in the installation includes the numbers 666." Gary Wheeler "You're an idiot." John Simmons, THE Outlaw programmer "I realised that all of my best anecdotes started with "So there we were, pissed". Pete O'Hanlon
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Farmer Bob had two cows, a white cow and a brown cow. Now Bob wanted to raise some more cattle so he went out and borrowed his neighbor's prize bull and set his son to the task of watching the cows and the bull, telling him to come running to keep him abreast of what's happening. As Bob was doing his farm chores, his son comes running, yelling with excitement for all he was worth, "Papa, papa! The bull just f$*@ed the brown cow!" To which Bob replied, "Son, you're too young to say that word, you're only 8. You should say 'surprised'." "OK papa" was the little one's dry reply. A while later, the boy comes running again calling out "Papa! Papa!" Bob stops what he was doing and asks his son, "What happened son? Did the bull surprise the white cow?" "He sure did Papa! He f$*@ed the brown cow again!"
"Every time Lotus Notes starts up, somewhere a puppy, a kitten, a lamb, and a baby seal are killed. Lotus Notes is a conspiracy by the forces of Satan to drive us over the brink into madness. The CRC-32 for each file in the installation includes the numbers 666." Gary Wheeler "You're an idiot." John Simmons, THE Outlaw programmer "I realised that all of my best anecdotes started with "So there we were, pissed". Pete O'Hanlon
If only it were appropriate :)
Need a C# Consultant? I'm available.
Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know. -- Ernest Hemingway -
If only it were appropriate :)
Need a C# Consultant? I'm available.
Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know. -- Ernest HemingwayTotally :D The first time I heard the joke I was in tears :D
"Every time Lotus Notes starts up, somewhere a puppy, a kitten, a lamb, and a baby seal are killed. Lotus Notes is a conspiracy by the forces of Satan to drive us over the brink into madness. The CRC-32 for each file in the installation includes the numbers 666." Gary Wheeler "You're an idiot." John Simmons, THE Outlaw programmer "I realised that all of my best anecdotes started with "So there we were, pissed". Pete O'Hanlon
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Farmer Bob had two cows, a white cow and a brown cow. Now Bob wanted to raise some more cattle so he went out and borrowed his neighbor's prize bull and set his son to the task of watching the cows and the bull, telling him to come running to keep him abreast of what's happening. As Bob was doing his farm chores, his son comes running, yelling with excitement for all he was worth, "Papa, papa! The bull just f$*@ed the brown cow!" To which Bob replied, "Son, you're too young to say that word, you're only 8. You should say 'surprised'." "OK papa" was the little one's dry reply. A while later, the boy comes running again calling out "Papa! Papa!" Bob stops what he was doing and asks his son, "What happened son? Did the bull surprise the white cow?" "He sure did Papa! He f$*@ed the brown cow again!"
"Every time Lotus Notes starts up, somewhere a puppy, a kitten, a lamb, and a baby seal are killed. Lotus Notes is a conspiracy by the forces of Satan to drive us over the brink into madness. The CRC-32 for each file in the installation includes the numbers 666." Gary Wheeler "You're an idiot." John Simmons, THE Outlaw programmer "I realised that all of my best anecdotes started with "So there we were, pissed". Pete O'Hanlon
Is this one of those anti-jokes where there is no punchline, and the joke is that some sucker spends ages trying to work out what the punchline is?
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Is this one of those anti-jokes where there is no punchline, and the joke is that some sucker spends ages trying to work out what the punchline is?
Read it again slowly :) Hint: Pay attention to the color of the cows.
"Every time Lotus Notes starts up, somewhere a puppy, a kitten, a lamb, and a baby seal are killed. Lotus Notes is a conspiracy by the forces of Satan to drive us over the brink into madness. The CRC-32 for each file in the installation includes the numbers 666." Gary Wheeler "You're an idiot." John Simmons, THE Outlaw programmer "I realised that all of my best anecdotes started with "So there we were, pissed". Pete O'Hanlon
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Is this one of those anti-jokes where there is no punchline, and the joke is that some sucker spends ages trying to work out what the punchline is?
if it wasn't before...it is now. get the joke yet? ;P :laugh:
----------------------------------------------------------- "When I first saw it, I just thought that you really, really enjoyed programming in java." - Leslie Sanford
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Read it again slowly :) Hint: Pay attention to the color of the cows.
"Every time Lotus Notes starts up, somewhere a puppy, a kitten, a lamb, and a baby seal are killed. Lotus Notes is a conspiracy by the forces of Satan to drive us over the brink into madness. The CRC-32 for each file in the installation includes the numbers 666." Gary Wheeler "You're an idiot." John Simmons, THE Outlaw programmer "I realised that all of my best anecdotes started with "So there we were, pissed". Pete O'Hanlon
Yes I see the bull f&^%s the brown cow twice, but I'm not seeing the overall humour in it. Perhaps I'm too tired to understand the intricacies of bovine related humour.
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Yes I see the bull f&^%s the brown cow twice, but I'm not seeing the overall humour in it. Perhaps I'm too tired to understand the intricacies of bovine related humour.
I remember a version where the bull surprises the cow by screwing the horse, or something.
Semicolons: The number one seller of ostomy bags world wide. - dan neely
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I remember a version where the bull surprises the cow by screwing the horse, or something.
Semicolons: The number one seller of ostomy bags world wide. - dan neely
Brady Kelly wrote:
I remember a version where the bull surprises the cow by screwing the horse, or something.
I've not heard that one yet, but it reminded of one between a lion and a horse :D I'll leave that for tomorrow :D
"Every time Lotus Notes starts up, somewhere a puppy, a kitten, a lamb, and a baby seal are killed. Lotus Notes is a conspiracy by the forces of Satan to drive us over the brink into madness. The CRC-32 for each file in the installation includes the numbers 666." Gary Wheeler "You're an idiot." John Simmons, THE Outlaw programmer "I realised that all of my best anecdotes started with "So there we were, pissed". Pete O'Hanlon
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Farmer Bob had two cows, a white cow and a brown cow. Now Bob wanted to raise some more cattle so he went out and borrowed his neighbor's prize bull and set his son to the task of watching the cows and the bull, telling him to come running to keep him abreast of what's happening. As Bob was doing his farm chores, his son comes running, yelling with excitement for all he was worth, "Papa, papa! The bull just f$*@ed the brown cow!" To which Bob replied, "Son, you're too young to say that word, you're only 8. You should say 'surprised'." "OK papa" was the little one's dry reply. A while later, the boy comes running again calling out "Papa! Papa!" Bob stops what he was doing and asks his son, "What happened son? Did the bull surprise the white cow?" "He sure did Papa! He f$*@ed the brown cow again!"
"Every time Lotus Notes starts up, somewhere a puppy, a kitten, a lamb, and a baby seal are killed. Lotus Notes is a conspiracy by the forces of Satan to drive us over the brink into madness. The CRC-32 for each file in the installation includes the numbers 666." Gary Wheeler "You're an idiot." John Simmons, THE Outlaw programmer "I realised that all of my best anecdotes started with "So there we were, pissed". Pete O'Hanlon
Mooooooooo! Good one!
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if it wasn't before...it is now. get the joke yet? ;P :laugh:
----------------------------------------------------------- "When I first saw it, I just thought that you really, really enjoyed programming in java." - Leslie Sanford
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: Excuse me while I sew my sides back together. :suss:
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Brady Kelly wrote:
I remember a version where the bull surprises the cow by screwing the horse, or something.
I've not heard that one yet, but it reminded of one between a lion and a horse :D I'll leave that for tomorrow :D
"Every time Lotus Notes starts up, somewhere a puppy, a kitten, a lamb, and a baby seal are killed. Lotus Notes is a conspiracy by the forces of Satan to drive us over the brink into madness. The CRC-32 for each file in the installation includes the numbers 666." Gary Wheeler "You're an idiot." John Simmons, THE Outlaw programmer "I realised that all of my best anecdotes started with "So there we were, pissed". Pete O'Hanlon
A foreign legion fort got a new commanding officer. After a couple of weeks in the desert he was missing female company. He called over his sergeant and asked what the men did when they wanted sex. "We have a camel" replied the sergeant. "That's absolutely disgusting" said the commanding officer, "take the camel out and shoot it". The sergeant protested that the men might mutiny, but the commanding officer was adamant. The sergeant took the camel out into the desert. But he could not bring himself to shoot it, so he tied it to a handy shrub which grew nearby, fired his rifle in the air and went back to the fort. That night he went out under cover of darkness, brought the camel back to the fort and hid it in the basement. After a few more weeks the commanding officer is feeling a stirring in his loins and calls the sergeant into his office. "Did you really shoot the camel?" He asks. "Yessir, I shot the camel as ordered" replies the sergeant. "Come on sergeant, we're all men of the world and I won't discipline you" says the commanding officer "I don't think you actually shot something so important to the men's morale, where is it?" "oh alright sir, it's in the basement" says the sergeant. "Lead me to it", says the commanding officer. So down to the basement they go, and as he opens the door the commanding officer is loosening his trouser belt. "That'll be all" he says to the sergeant. There follow great sounds of commotion, and the camel bellowing deafeningly. A few minutes later the commanding officer re-appears. "Sergeant, that was one of the worst experiences of my life, I'm thoroughly ashamed of myself" he says "Do all the men really get sexual gratification with the camel?". "Not really sir", says the sergeant. "They usually ride it to the whore-house in Cairo."
............................. Two words you don't ever want to hear. "Fix bayonets"
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Totally :D The first time I heard the joke I was in tears :D
"Every time Lotus Notes starts up, somewhere a puppy, a kitten, a lamb, and a baby seal are killed. Lotus Notes is a conspiracy by the forces of Satan to drive us over the brink into madness. The CRC-32 for each file in the installation includes the numbers 666." Gary Wheeler "You're an idiot." John Simmons, THE Outlaw programmer "I realised that all of my best anecdotes started with "So there we were, pissed". Pete O'Hanlon
I thought you were going to say the boy told his father that the Postman was "surprising" his mother. ;)
WE ARE DYSLEXIC OF BORG. Refutance is systile. Your a$$ will be laminated. There are 10 kinds of people in the world: People who know binary and people who don't.
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Farmer Bob had two cows, a white cow and a brown cow. Now Bob wanted to raise some more cattle so he went out and borrowed his neighbor's prize bull and set his son to the task of watching the cows and the bull, telling him to come running to keep him abreast of what's happening. As Bob was doing his farm chores, his son comes running, yelling with excitement for all he was worth, "Papa, papa! The bull just f$*@ed the brown cow!" To which Bob replied, "Son, you're too young to say that word, you're only 8. You should say 'surprised'." "OK papa" was the little one's dry reply. A while later, the boy comes running again calling out "Papa! Papa!" Bob stops what he was doing and asks his son, "What happened son? Did the bull surprise the white cow?" "He sure did Papa! He f$*@ed the brown cow again!"
"Every time Lotus Notes starts up, somewhere a puppy, a kitten, a lamb, and a baby seal are killed. Lotus Notes is a conspiracy by the forces of Satan to drive us over the brink into madness. The CRC-32 for each file in the installation includes the numbers 666." Gary Wheeler "You're an idiot." John Simmons, THE Outlaw programmer "I realised that all of my best anecdotes started with "So there we were, pissed". Pete O'Hanlon
I had to read it twice before I got it. :doh:
Cheers, Vikram.
The hands that help are holier than the lips that pray.
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I had to read it twice before I got it. :doh:
Cheers, Vikram.
The hands that help are holier than the lips that pray.
Vikram A Punathambekar wrote:
I had to read it twice before I got it.
Tsk tsk. Either the joke isn't funny (to you and to Martin Hughes) or there's something wrong with the way I tell it.
"Every time Lotus Notes starts up, somewhere a puppy, a kitten, a lamb, and a baby seal are killed. Lotus Notes is a conspiracy by the forces of Satan to drive us over the brink into madness. The CRC-32 for each file in the installation includes the numbers 666." Gary Wheeler "You're an idiot." John Simmons, THE Outlaw programmer "I realised that all of my best anecdotes started with "So there we were, pissed". Pete O'Hanlon
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I remember a version where the bull surprises the cow by screwing the horse, or something.
Semicolons: The number one seller of ostomy bags world wide. - dan neely
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Vikram A Punathambekar wrote:
I had to read it twice before I got it.
Tsk tsk. Either the joke isn't funny (to you and to Martin Hughes) or there's something wrong with the way I tell it.
"Every time Lotus Notes starts up, somewhere a puppy, a kitten, a lamb, and a baby seal are killed. Lotus Notes is a conspiracy by the forces of Satan to drive us over the brink into madness. The CRC-32 for each file in the installation includes the numbers 666." Gary Wheeler "You're an idiot." John Simmons, THE Outlaw programmer "I realised that all of my best anecdotes started with "So there we were, pissed". Pete O'Hanlon
While I have a nefarious reputation for making double entendres at work (in both Indian languages and English) I have a hard time understanding some of the dirty jokes made at CP. It's either a culture thing... or maybe my mind just isn't dirty enough. ;P I mostly don't ask for clarifications on CP because I figure I'll look like a moron. :-O
Cheers, Vikram.
The hands that help are holier than the lips that pray.
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A foreign legion fort got a new commanding officer. After a couple of weeks in the desert he was missing female company. He called over his sergeant and asked what the men did when they wanted sex. "We have a camel" replied the sergeant. "That's absolutely disgusting" said the commanding officer, "take the camel out and shoot it". The sergeant protested that the men might mutiny, but the commanding officer was adamant. The sergeant took the camel out into the desert. But he could not bring himself to shoot it, so he tied it to a handy shrub which grew nearby, fired his rifle in the air and went back to the fort. That night he went out under cover of darkness, brought the camel back to the fort and hid it in the basement. After a few more weeks the commanding officer is feeling a stirring in his loins and calls the sergeant into his office. "Did you really shoot the camel?" He asks. "Yessir, I shot the camel as ordered" replies the sergeant. "Come on sergeant, we're all men of the world and I won't discipline you" says the commanding officer "I don't think you actually shot something so important to the men's morale, where is it?" "oh alright sir, it's in the basement" says the sergeant. "Lead me to it", says the commanding officer. So down to the basement they go, and as he opens the door the commanding officer is loosening his trouser belt. "That'll be all" he says to the sergeant. There follow great sounds of commotion, and the camel bellowing deafeningly. A few minutes later the commanding officer re-appears. "Sergeant, that was one of the worst experiences of my life, I'm thoroughly ashamed of myself" he says "Do all the men really get sexual gratification with the camel?". "Not really sir", says the sergeant. "They usually ride it to the whore-house in Cairo."
............................. Two words you don't ever want to hear. "Fix bayonets"
this one was good!!! :laugh:
A train station is where the train stops. A bus station is where the bus stops. On my desk, I have a work station.... _________________________________________________________ My programs never have bugs, they just develop random features.