Nine year anniversary
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I have a failed marriage. Mostly because I was pretty self absorbed, and I never bothered to ask her if she was happy. In my defence, she pushed the marriage through, I wanted to go slow, I knew I wasn't ready. 15 years married this year to wife #2. No earth shattering advice, just the obvious - listen to your partner, even when you think they are being stupid.
Christian Graus Please read this if you don't understand the answer I've given you "also I don't think "TranslateOneToTwoBillion OneHundredAndFortySevenMillion FourHundredAndEightyThreeThousand SixHundredAndFortySeven()" is a very good choice for a function name" - SpacixOne ( offering help to someone who really needed it ) ( spaces added for the benefit of people running at < 1280x1024 )
Christian Graus wrote:
I have a failed marriage.
Christian Graus wrote:
15 years married this year to wife #2.
I do hope the failed marriage was to wife #1, but the "have a failed marriage" part leaves me unsure. :~ Yeah, you can tell English isn't my native language. :-O
Cheers, Vikram.
The hands that help are holier than the lips that pray.
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15 years: traditional gift is crystal; modern is watches. Apparently so you can see how much more time until the Other shuts up. :-D
Holidays! (June 13th) http://craptasticnation.blogspot.com/[^]
leckey wrote:
modern is watches. Apparently so you can see how much more time until the Other shuts up.
:-D :laugh:
Cheers, Vikram.
The hands that help are holier than the lips that pray.
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ROTFL - well, I think Tim was a way to make sure we broke up, and then I dunno why it lasted for years. The online guy, well, I dunno, I mean, they did meet and date, so I assume he turned out to be normal. I dunno, either way, I'm happy with how things ended up for me, so I hope she's happy, too.
Christian Graus Please read this if you don't understand the answer I've given you "also I don't think "TranslateOneToTwoBillion OneHundredAndFortySevenMillion FourHundredAndEightyThreeThousand SixHundredAndFortySeven()" is a very good choice for a function name" - SpacixOne ( offering help to someone who really needed it ) ( spaces added for the benefit of people running at < 1280x1024 )
Christian Graus wrote:
so I hope she's happy, too
Thats big of you Christian - too many blokes I know have written women off after the first attempt. I think that usually says more about them than the ex partner.
I don't speak Idiot - please talk slowly and clearly
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Today marks nine years of being married and not killing each other. For those of you who have been married for awhile, what is your advice for a lasting marriage? Funnies and quips welcomed. If you have a failed marriage, any additional advice on what to avoid?
Holidays! (June 13th) http://craptasticnation.blogspot.com/[^]
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Today marks nine years of being married and not killing each other. For those of you who have been married for awhile, what is your advice for a lasting marriage? Funnies and quips welcomed. If you have a failed marriage, any additional advice on what to avoid?
Holidays! (June 13th) http://craptasticnation.blogspot.com/[^]
Remember to listen to your partner, that way you have ammo later on. Only kidding.
Deja View - the feeling that you've seen this post before.
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Today marks nine years of being married and not killing each other. For those of you who have been married for awhile, what is your advice for a lasting marriage? Funnies and quips welcomed. If you have a failed marriage, any additional advice on what to avoid?
Holidays! (June 13th) http://craptasticnation.blogspot.com/[^]
Well Mum & Dad have been going 25 years and they reckon they're together because they can't be bothered to go through the effort of a divorce. They've even decided not to move because (well it's a very nice farm and there's never been a mortgage on it [well there was put it was paid off in the first month]) they'd have to sort through a farm-house of junk plus 5 barns worth and they just don't want to have to tidy it up. :-D
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Today marks nine years of being married and not killing each other. For those of you who have been married for awhile, what is your advice for a lasting marriage? Funnies and quips welcomed. If you have a failed marriage, any additional advice on what to avoid?
Holidays! (June 13th) http://craptasticnation.blogspot.com/[^]
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The 12th was our 15th anniversary. Things to do: Marry my wife (sorry, she is taken). Things to not do: Marry my ex-wife (the guy who she divorced next agrees). Look for someone who resolves problems the same way you do. If you are into knock-down-drag-outs, make sure your spouse is, too. If you like to discuss what is going on, make sure your spouse does, to. If you like to stick your head in the sand and ignore stuff (at least financially), make sure your spouse does not. Someone has to understand some of the realities of the world. If you are going to have children, understand that you will have different ideas of what is right. Figure it out, and understand, he wants to make the rules, but she will probably be the one implementing the policies on a day to day basis, so her vote REALLY matters. That is not sexism, that is statistics. Finances matter. So do dreams and feelings, and love does not overcome all. Love is not lust. Love is not feelings. Loving someone is a day by day decision to put them, if not ahead of you, at least at the same level as you. You will get over the lust, and the starry eyed feelings. You must keep your commitment, you must honor and respect, even when you don't feel friendly. Men, your wife needs your love, tell her, and mean it, as often as you can. Women, your husband needs your respect, give it to him, even when the world does not. If you don't respect him, he will not respect himself. If your home is not the place where you can hide from the cold, hard, world, together, it will never be more than your house. Be friends, first. On religion, you need to be compatible, so never go into a relationship trying to save the other. In the long run, they will get resentful, and you will be frustrated, and it will be a wedge between you. If one of you gets it afterwards, your religion will speak to you on what you should do, but don't put that burden on yourselves from the beginning. And when you read this, know I am only at fifty percent (if I'm lucky). :-O Dang, that was just supposed to be a two line joke.
Silver member by constant and unflinching longevity.
Very, very good advice - especially the bit about knock-down drag-out fights. My first wife (seven years) suggested I wasn't a man because I didn't go in for those. She's on her (at least) fourth husband. My second marrige is coming up for 33 years in September. Remember birthdays and anniversaries! If you're physically capable, do something physical together (no, not JUST that! :-O ). We walk (and talk and LISTEN) and do Scottish Country Dancing. Life will be healthier mentally and physically. Do something apart from each other. She goes to the Women's Institute; I go out "with the boys" on curry evenings - same night of the month. Both lead to lively conversations on the walks because new ideas are brought into the family. Get a pet. :-D
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Today marks nine years of being married and not killing each other. For those of you who have been married for awhile, what is your advice for a lasting marriage? Funnies and quips welcomed. If you have a failed marriage, any additional advice on what to avoid?
Holidays! (June 13th) http://craptasticnation.blogspot.com/[^]
Congrats. :rose:
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leckey wrote:
sees a coat on sale
There's the part you missed - I'd argue most guys never even see the sale sign. We need an item. We find the item. We determine if we have enough money. We buy the item (or not). For the most part.
¡El diablo está en mis pantalones! ¡Mire, mire! Real Mentats use only 100% pure, unfooled around with Sapho Juice(tm)! SELECT * FROM User WHERE Clue > 0 0 rows returned Save an Orange - Use the VCF! VCF Blog
I;m rather frugal. For items I know I won't need until a few months in advance I generally do wait until a sale comes along. I have a well stocked pantry (probably 2-3mo of food on hand) for some of the same reasons (also for emergency supplies).
Today's lesson is brought to you by the word "niggardly". Remember kids, don't attribute to racism what can be explained by Scandinavian language roots. -- Robert Royall
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The 12th was our 15th anniversary. Things to do: Marry my wife (sorry, she is taken). Things to not do: Marry my ex-wife (the guy who she divorced next agrees). Look for someone who resolves problems the same way you do. If you are into knock-down-drag-outs, make sure your spouse is, too. If you like to discuss what is going on, make sure your spouse does, to. If you like to stick your head in the sand and ignore stuff (at least financially), make sure your spouse does not. Someone has to understand some of the realities of the world. If you are going to have children, understand that you will have different ideas of what is right. Figure it out, and understand, he wants to make the rules, but she will probably be the one implementing the policies on a day to day basis, so her vote REALLY matters. That is not sexism, that is statistics. Finances matter. So do dreams and feelings, and love does not overcome all. Love is not lust. Love is not feelings. Loving someone is a day by day decision to put them, if not ahead of you, at least at the same level as you. You will get over the lust, and the starry eyed feelings. You must keep your commitment, you must honor and respect, even when you don't feel friendly. Men, your wife needs your love, tell her, and mean it, as often as you can. Women, your husband needs your respect, give it to him, even when the world does not. If you don't respect him, he will not respect himself. If your home is not the place where you can hide from the cold, hard, world, together, it will never be more than your house. Be friends, first. On religion, you need to be compatible, so never go into a relationship trying to save the other. In the long run, they will get resentful, and you will be frustrated, and it will be a wedge between you. If one of you gets it afterwards, your religion will speak to you on what you should do, but don't put that burden on yourselves from the beginning. And when you read this, know I am only at fifty percent (if I'm lucky). :-O Dang, that was just supposed to be a two line joke.
Silver member by constant and unflinching longevity.
terrific advice. the standard joke is, the first time you marry for love, the second time you marry for compatibility. there are a lot of opportunities for love, but compatibility is harder to come by, and absolutely crucial. it's very important to understand who YOU are. I'm on my 9th year marriage, but finally throwing the towel in, mostly due to differences in fighting styles and educational background. Love ain't enough by itself...
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I;m rather frugal. For items I know I won't need until a few months in advance I generally do wait until a sale comes along. I have a well stocked pantry (probably 2-3mo of food on hand) for some of the same reasons (also for emergency supplies).
Today's lesson is brought to you by the word "niggardly". Remember kids, don't attribute to racism what can be explained by Scandinavian language roots. -- Robert Royall
dan neely wrote:
I have a well stocked pantry (probably 2-3mo of food on hand)
Good lord? 2-3 Months? Expecting the end of the world soon? That's a lot of food!
¡El diablo está en mis pantalones! ¡Mire, mire! Real Mentats use only 100% pure, unfooled around with Sapho Juice(tm)! SELECT * FROM User WHERE Clue > 0 0 rows returned Save an Orange - Use the VCF! VCF Blog
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Today marks nine years of being married and not killing each other. For those of you who have been married for awhile, what is your advice for a lasting marriage? Funnies and quips welcomed. If you have a failed marriage, any additional advice on what to avoid?
Holidays! (June 13th) http://craptasticnation.blogspot.com/[^]
Congratulations on 9 years! I've been very happily married for 14 years. Perhaps I should venture a guess about what makes it so. 1. Marry somebody who you actually like. The enchantment eventually fades, and have to live with what is left. 2. Treat your marriage with the respect it deserves. Defend it from intrusions of career, money, status, etc. The other successes will come if you are working from a stable foundation. 3. When you win, you loose. Relationships are based on cooperation and working together. Winning an argument soothes the ego, but poisions any relationship. 4. Small acts of kindness count. 5. Be the type of person somebody would want to be married to. Best wishes!
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terrific advice. the standard joke is, the first time you marry for love, the second time you marry for compatibility. there are a lot of opportunities for love, but compatibility is harder to come by, and absolutely crucial. it's very important to understand who YOU are. I'm on my 9th year marriage, but finally throwing the towel in, mostly due to differences in fighting styles and educational background. Love ain't enough by itself...
I threw in the towel after 15 years. During the 3 years of dating prior to marriage, I had felt quite lucky to have met someone who was 'assertive' and 'outspoken' on things about which others seemed complacent. Soon after marrying, I woke up to the fact that these were actually traits of a person who felt a need to be completely in control of everything and everyone. The last 10 years of the marriage were only for the kids. I agree with the person who quipped: why would I want to spend my life in an institution?
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dan neely wrote:
I have a well stocked pantry (probably 2-3mo of food on hand)
Good lord? 2-3 Months? Expecting the end of the world soon? That's a lot of food!
¡El diablo está en mis pantalones! ¡Mire, mire! Real Mentats use only 100% pure, unfooled around with Sapho Juice(tm)! SELECT * FROM User WHERE Clue > 0 0 rows returned Save an Orange - Use the VCF! VCF Blog
Aside from the initial investment it's cheaper since everything storable is bought on sale. While I'm not expecting TEOTWAWKI* anytime soon, and would be storing different sorts (and lots more) of goods in that case, job loss is always a risk and doing this covers one of my most vital expenses. * The end of the world as we know it
Today's lesson is brought to you by the word "niggardly". Remember kids, don't attribute to racism what can be explained by Scandinavian language roots. -- Robert Royall
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Today marks nine years of being married and not killing each other. For those of you who have been married for awhile, what is your advice for a lasting marriage? Funnies and quips welcomed. If you have a failed marriage, any additional advice on what to avoid?
Holidays! (June 13th) http://craptasticnation.blogspot.com/[^]
Interesting topic/question. Thanks for asking it. In fact, it is a really good place to start. Having been married to my best friend for 28.5 years, I think that the most important suggestion that I can make is to be as open as you can about everything. My most irritating attribute (at least I think that it bothers her the most), is that when things get stressful, I tend to stop talking to her about what is going on. Even when she is feeling bad, she wants to know what is going on with me... Which is really encouraging for me. I'll share with you my absolute "best line" after 28.5 years of marriage... On her birthday, someone asked me "how old is she"... I was extremely fortunate to immediately reply "29 and holding, and I get to do the holding!" Remember, marriage is a spectator sport, you have to work at it to make it work... Bob
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Today marks nine years of being married and not killing each other. For those of you who have been married for awhile, what is your advice for a lasting marriage? Funnies and quips welcomed. If you have a failed marriage, any additional advice on what to avoid?
Holidays! (June 13th) http://craptasticnation.blogspot.com/[^]
Just had my 11th. Very important: They spend separate time with their friends/co-workers in a social setting. And so do you...it preserves the sanity. My wife just got back from a cruise with 2 girlfriends...it did us both a world of good!
What does an agnostic, dyslexic, insomniac do? He lies awake at night wondering if there's a dog.
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Just had my 11th. Very important: They spend separate time with their friends/co-workers in a social setting. And so do you...it preserves the sanity. My wife just got back from a cruise with 2 girlfriends...it did us both a world of good!
What does an agnostic, dyslexic, insomniac do? He lies awake at night wondering if there's a dog.
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Today marks nine years of being married and not killing each other. For those of you who have been married for awhile, what is your advice for a lasting marriage? Funnies and quips welcomed. If you have a failed marriage, any additional advice on what to avoid?
Holidays! (June 13th) http://craptasticnation.blogspot.com/[^]
In the immortal words of Bill and Ted: "Be excellent to each other." If you find someone special enough to marry, it was for a reason. Sure living together puts some extra strain on a relationship, but these things can be overcome. My 10 year marriage is good, but like others, I admit that it can be better. My wife recently signed us up to do a marriage study through our church titled "Love and Respect". Even if you aren't a church going person, I highly recommend this study. "It really works"(TM). Your church may offer it, if they don't, you can read along at home (there is also a video you can watch). Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs (amazon.com) [^]
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Today marks nine years of being married and not killing each other. For those of you who have been married for awhile, what is your advice for a lasting marriage? Funnies and quips welcomed. If you have a failed marriage, any additional advice on what to avoid?
Holidays! (June 13th) http://craptasticnation.blogspot.com/[^]
If it works don't try to fix it. We just celebrated our 10 year anniversary. We are not married and don't plan to be. We are best friends. We are talking about kids but waiting until things are more financially sound (he just got a new degree and will be starting a new career this summer). Things are better than ever. I truthfully think that marriage would change our relationship to the point where we wouldn't like each other any more. There is a certain mindset that neither one of us is comfortable with. We are both very independent people and our relationship works because we live our independent lives together. We don't argue about money because we each contribute our share of the bills and have a joint savings account for things like fixing the house and vacations and the rest of our money is our own. On the other hand we spend almost all of our spare time together with the exception of the occasional visit to friends and family that we do alone. We appreciate each other more when we get back together after being away. My best advice is to be your own person. Don't try to live your partners life for them. Accept the other person for who they are and don't ask them to change. You can suggest changes but make sure they understand that you will love and respect them even if they don't change. Also, NEVER talk about your partner to other people unless you want them to hear what you said about them. If you wouldn't say it to them don't say it to others. It is disrespectful and if it is truly how you feel they should know about it.