Top 10 sings you are a Fundamentalist Christian
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10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours. 9 - You feel insulted and 'dehumanized' when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt. 8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God. 7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the 'atrocities' attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in 'Exodus' and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in 'Joshua' including women, children, and trees! 6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky. 5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old. 4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most 'tolerant' and 'loving.' 3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in 'tongues' may be all the evidence you need to 'prove' Christianity. 2 - You define 0.01% as a 'high success rate' when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God. 1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.
I didn't get any requirements for the signature
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Boy, you sure did beat the shit out of that strawman pretty good! Some Christians have some of those characteristics, but some have none.
Jon Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface
It is supposed to be funny.
I didn't get any requirements for the signature
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It is supposed to be funny.
I didn't get any requirements for the signature
ToddHileHoffer wrote:
It is supposed to be funny.
But it isn't. And you misspelled "signs".
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It is supposed to be funny.
I didn't get any requirements for the signature
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10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours. 9 - You feel insulted and 'dehumanized' when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt. 8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God. 7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the 'atrocities' attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in 'Exodus' and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in 'Joshua' including women, children, and trees! 6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky. 5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old. 4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most 'tolerant' and 'loving.' 3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in 'tongues' may be all the evidence you need to 'prove' Christianity. 2 - You define 0.01% as a 'high success rate' when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God. 1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.
I didn't get any requirements for the signature
That's very funny but I guarantee that there are 1 or 2 here that will not get it at all and will want to crucify you for your terrible blasphemy. I say, however, that is their cross to bear.
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ToddHileHoffer wrote:
It is supposed to be funny.
But it isn't. And you misspelled "signs".
Yes it is.
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Yes it is.
digital man wrote:
Yes it is.
Only to those atheists who find it humorous to belittle those who don't share their belief.
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ToddHileHoffer wrote:
It is supposed to be funny
Perhaps to highschool sophomores, it's a laugh riot, I wouldn't know.
Jon Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface
Oh come now: if that had been about muslims you'd have laughed. Everyone should stop taking themselves so seriously: life is too short not to laugh at the stupidity of it all.
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That's very funny but I guarantee that there are 1 or 2 here that will not get it at all and will want to crucify you for your terrible blasphemy. I say, however, that is their cross to bear.
digital man wrote:
will want to crucify you for your terrible blasphemy. I say, however, that is their cross to bear.
No, that's funny. btw: there's a midground between calling it blasphemy and finding it hilarious.
Jon Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface
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digital man wrote:
Yes it is.
Only to those atheists who find it humorous to belittle those who don't share their belief.
You're more than welcome to take the piss out of me and I'll laugh as loud as anyone else. Oh, and don't presume to tell me what I should find amusing or not.
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You're more than welcome to take the piss out of me and I'll laugh as loud as anyone else. Oh, and don't presume to tell me what I should find amusing or not.
digital man wrote:
Oh, and don't presume to tell me what I should find amusing or not.
Why not, you certainly felt free to tell me.
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digital man wrote:
Oh, and don't presume to tell me what I should find amusing or not.
Why not, you certainly felt free to tell me.
No I didn't: I said I find it funny. Feel free to be a dry, humorless husk of a man. It's fine by me.
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Oh come now: if that had been about muslims you'd have laughed. Everyone should stop taking themselves so seriously: life is too short not to laugh at the stupidity of it all.
digital man wrote:
Oh come now: if that had been about muslims you'd have laughed.
Could be, I won't claim I am perfect. But my objection to it is the substitution of insults for humor. You can see, by my tongue-lashing thread which isn't hard to find, that it's not a matter of my not finding some Christians and their short-sightedness very funny. In the long run, I find most true believers hilarious - and that includes (but is not limited to) atheists, christians, mormons, muslims, jeffersonians ;) , and hindus.
Jon Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface
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No I didn't: I said I find it funny. Feel free to be a dry, humorless husk of a man. It's fine by me.
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ToddHileHoffer wrote:
It is supposed to be funny.
But it isn't. And you misspelled "signs".
It is not hilarious but it is funny. Fundamentalists of all religions are fools and they are funny and sometimes scary. It is no different if you are a crazy Muslim killing people so you can be with 40 virgins or if you are a crazy Christian convinced everyone else is going to spend eternity in hell for not being exactly like you. I didn't write the list, I just got it in an email.
I didn't get any requirements for the signature
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Can't we all get along? :confused:
Jon Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface
Now where would be the fun in that?
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digital man wrote:
Oh come now: if that had been about muslims you'd have laughed.
Could be, I won't claim I am perfect. But my objection to it is the substitution of insults for humor. You can see, by my tongue-lashing thread which isn't hard to find, that it's not a matter of my not finding some Christians and their short-sightedness very funny. In the long run, I find most true believers hilarious - and that includes (but is not limited to) atheists, christians, mormons, muslims, jeffersonians ;) , and hindus.
Jon Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface
Oakman wrote:
Could be, I won't claim I am perfect.
What?!? :-)
Oakman wrote:
But my objection to it is the substitution of insults for humor.
Isn't much humour predicated on some sort of twisted insult?
Oakman wrote:
In the long run, I find most true believers hilarious
I demand that you retract that insult...
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digital man wrote:
Oh come now: if that had been about muslims you'd have laughed.
Could be, I won't claim I am perfect. But my objection to it is the substitution of insults for humor. You can see, by my tongue-lashing thread which isn't hard to find, that it's not a matter of my not finding some Christians and their short-sightedness very funny. In the long run, I find most true believers hilarious - and that includes (but is not limited to) atheists, christians, mormons, muslims, jeffersonians ;) , and hindus.
Jon Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface
Oakman wrote:
In the long run, I find most true believers hilarious - and that includes (but is not limited to) atheists, christians, mormons, muslims, jeffersonians [Wink] , and hindus.
well said. 5.
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Oakman wrote:
Could be, I won't claim I am perfect.
What?!? :-)
Oakman wrote:
But my objection to it is the substitution of insults for humor.
Isn't much humour predicated on some sort of twisted insult?
Oakman wrote:
In the long run, I find most true believers hilarious
I demand that you retract that insult...
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10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours. 9 - You feel insulted and 'dehumanized' when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt. 8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God. 7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the 'atrocities' attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in 'Exodus' and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in 'Joshua' including women, children, and trees! 6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky. 5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old. 4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most 'tolerant' and 'loving.' 3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in 'tongues' may be all the evidence you need to 'prove' Christianity. 2 - You define 0.01% as a 'high success rate' when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God. 1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.
I didn't get any requirements for the signature
Let me be the first to shriek, "Atheist trolling!" :~