Just for Harvey: I can like to be from Benoni
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I presume "Benoni guy/girl" = "chav"?
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Not sure if these all pass the kid sister rule but here goes. Apologies to those how don't speak Afrikaans. Joke 1 A woman sitting at a restaurant in Benoni suddenly began to cough while eating a giant country-fried steak. After a few seconds it became apparent that she was in real distress, and two locals at the next table turned to look at her. "Kan you like swallow?", asked one. The woman signalled 'No', desperately shaking her head. "Kan you like breeve?" asked the other. The woman, beginning to turn a bit blue, shook her head 'No.' With that, the first Benoni ou walked over to her, lifted up the back of her skirt, pulled down her briefs and slowly ran his tongue up and down the woman's butt crack. This shocked the woman into such a violent spasm that the obstruction flew out of her mouth and she began to breathe again. The man slowly walked back over to his table and proudly took another sip of his Klipdrift & Coke. His partner said in admiration, "Ma se moer, I did heard of that Hind Lick Manoeuvre, but I never did saw anybody done it before.." Joke 2 The latest pickup line from Benoni - "Your pritty eyes is laaik spanners, everie taaim I looks at you my cupcake, my nuts taaighten..." Joke 3 'n Benoni ma neem haar 12-jarige dogter vir die eerste keer ginekoloog toe. Die dokter vra "Meisie, wat's fout?" Sy sê "Oom, my P&%#s is seer!" Die ma klap haar skoon uit haar stoel uit. "Dis nie oom nie, dis Dokter!!"
But fortunately we have the nanny-state politicians who can step in to protect us poor stupid consumers, most of whom would not know a JVM from a frozen chicken. Bruce Pierson
Because programming is an art, not a science. Marc Clifton
I gave up when I couldn't spell "egg". Justine Allen -
Not sure if these all pass the kid sister rule but here goes. Apologies to those how don't speak Afrikaans. Joke 1 A woman sitting at a restaurant in Benoni suddenly began to cough while eating a giant country-fried steak. After a few seconds it became apparent that she was in real distress, and two locals at the next table turned to look at her. "Kan you like swallow?", asked one. The woman signalled 'No', desperately shaking her head. "Kan you like breeve?" asked the other. The woman, beginning to turn a bit blue, shook her head 'No.' With that, the first Benoni ou walked over to her, lifted up the back of her skirt, pulled down her briefs and slowly ran his tongue up and down the woman's butt crack. This shocked the woman into such a violent spasm that the obstruction flew out of her mouth and she began to breathe again. The man slowly walked back over to his table and proudly took another sip of his Klipdrift & Coke. His partner said in admiration, "Ma se moer, I did heard of that Hind Lick Manoeuvre, but I never did saw anybody done it before.." Joke 2 The latest pickup line from Benoni - "Your pritty eyes is laaik spanners, everie taaim I looks at you my cupcake, my nuts taaighten..." Joke 3 'n Benoni ma neem haar 12-jarige dogter vir die eerste keer ginekoloog toe. Die dokter vra "Meisie, wat's fout?" Sy sê "Oom, my P&%#s is seer!" Die ma klap haar skoon uit haar stoel uit. "Dis nie oom nie, dis Dokter!!"
But fortunately we have the nanny-state politicians who can step in to protect us poor stupid consumers, most of whom would not know a JVM from a frozen chicken. Bruce Pierson
Because programming is an art, not a science. Marc Clifton
I gave up when I couldn't spell "egg". Justine AllenI am sure the Non-Geordies would have trouble with some of their jokes, One of which famously ends with "Aye, it's Bounty". I bet Pete knows that one!
------------------------------------ Credit is a system whereby a person who can not pay gets another person who can not pay to guarantee that he can pay. - Charles Dickens
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Not sure if these all pass the kid sister rule but here goes. Apologies to those how don't speak Afrikaans. Joke 1 A woman sitting at a restaurant in Benoni suddenly began to cough while eating a giant country-fried steak. After a few seconds it became apparent that she was in real distress, and two locals at the next table turned to look at her. "Kan you like swallow?", asked one. The woman signalled 'No', desperately shaking her head. "Kan you like breeve?" asked the other. The woman, beginning to turn a bit blue, shook her head 'No.' With that, the first Benoni ou walked over to her, lifted up the back of her skirt, pulled down her briefs and slowly ran his tongue up and down the woman's butt crack. This shocked the woman into such a violent spasm that the obstruction flew out of her mouth and she began to breathe again. The man slowly walked back over to his table and proudly took another sip of his Klipdrift & Coke. His partner said in admiration, "Ma se moer, I did heard of that Hind Lick Manoeuvre, but I never did saw anybody done it before.." Joke 2 The latest pickup line from Benoni - "Your pritty eyes is laaik spanners, everie taaim I looks at you my cupcake, my nuts taaighten..." Joke 3 'n Benoni ma neem haar 12-jarige dogter vir die eerste keer ginekoloog toe. Die dokter vra "Meisie, wat's fout?" Sy sê "Oom, my P&%#s is seer!" Die ma klap haar skoon uit haar stoel uit. "Dis nie oom nie, dis Dokter!!"
But fortunately we have the nanny-state politicians who can step in to protect us poor stupid consumers, most of whom would not know a JVM from a frozen chicken. Bruce Pierson
Because programming is an art, not a science. Marc Clifton
I gave up when I couldn't spell "egg". Justine Allenbrilliant :laugh:
Harvey Saayman - South Africa Junior Developer .Net, C#, SQL
you.suck = (you.passion != Programming) -
Not sure if these all pass the kid sister rule but here goes. Apologies to those how don't speak Afrikaans. Joke 1 A woman sitting at a restaurant in Benoni suddenly began to cough while eating a giant country-fried steak. After a few seconds it became apparent that she was in real distress, and two locals at the next table turned to look at her. "Kan you like swallow?", asked one. The woman signalled 'No', desperately shaking her head. "Kan you like breeve?" asked the other. The woman, beginning to turn a bit blue, shook her head 'No.' With that, the first Benoni ou walked over to her, lifted up the back of her skirt, pulled down her briefs and slowly ran his tongue up and down the woman's butt crack. This shocked the woman into such a violent spasm that the obstruction flew out of her mouth and she began to breathe again. The man slowly walked back over to his table and proudly took another sip of his Klipdrift & Coke. His partner said in admiration, "Ma se moer, I did heard of that Hind Lick Manoeuvre, but I never did saw anybody done it before.." Joke 2 The latest pickup line from Benoni - "Your pritty eyes is laaik spanners, everie taaim I looks at you my cupcake, my nuts taaighten..." Joke 3 'n Benoni ma neem haar 12-jarige dogter vir die eerste keer ginekoloog toe. Die dokter vra "Meisie, wat's fout?" Sy sê "Oom, my P&%#s is seer!" Die ma klap haar skoon uit haar stoel uit. "Dis nie oom nie, dis Dokter!!"
But fortunately we have the nanny-state politicians who can step in to protect us poor stupid consumers, most of whom would not know a JVM from a frozen chicken. Bruce Pierson
Because programming is an art, not a science. Marc Clifton
I gave up when I couldn't spell "egg". Justine AllenDave Sexton wrote:
The latest pickup line from Benoni - "Your pritty eyes is laaik spanners, everie taaim I looks at you my cupcake, my nuts taaighten..."
:laugh::laugh::laugh:
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Just replace Benoni with Essex and all is good :)
xacc.ide - now with TabsToSpaces support
IronScheme - 1.0 alpha 4a out now (29 May 2008)That's what I feared.
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Q. Two Benoni guys jump off a cliff. Who wins? A. Society. Q. What does a Benoni girl use as protection during sex? A. A Bus shelter. Q. What do you call a Benoni Boy in a suit? A. The defendant. Q. Why did the Benoni guy cross the road? A. To start a fight, with a complete stranger, for no reason whatsoever. :laugh: Q. What do you call a Benoni girl in a white tracksuit? A. The bride. Q. If you are driving and you see a Bloke from Benoni on a bike, why should you try not to hit him? A. It might be your bike. Q. What's the first question during a Benoni quiz night? A. What you looking at? :laugh: Q. Two Benoni Blokes in a car without any music - who is driving? A. The police! Q. What do you say to a Benoni person with a job? A. A Big Mac please. Q. What's the difference between a Benoni girl and a Brakpan girl? A. A Benoni girl has a higher sperm count :laugh:
let me guess, you listened to the rude awakening this morning? :laugh:
Harvey Saayman - South Africa Junior Developer .Net, C#, SQL
you.suck = (you.passion != Programming) -
Q. Two Benoni guys jump off a cliff. Who wins? A. Society. Q. What does a Benoni girl use as protection during sex? A. A Bus shelter. Q. What do you call a Benoni Boy in a suit? A. The defendant. Q. Why did the Benoni guy cross the road? A. To start a fight, with a complete stranger, for no reason whatsoever. :laugh: Q. What do you call a Benoni girl in a white tracksuit? A. The bride. Q. If you are driving and you see a Bloke from Benoni on a bike, why should you try not to hit him? A. It might be your bike. Q. What's the first question during a Benoni quiz night? A. What you looking at? :laugh: Q. Two Benoni Blokes in a car without any music - who is driving? A. The police! Q. What do you say to a Benoni person with a job? A. A Big Mac please. Q. What's the difference between a Benoni girl and a Brakpan girl? A. A Benoni girl has a higher sperm count :laugh:
A *insert stereotype here* woman was looking to buy a home for the first time and was driving around with a Realtor. At the first house the Realtor described the neighborhood and the schools, showed the kitchen and just generally described the home as to be expected. After the tour the *insert stereotype here* woman asked, "Does this house have a Halo Statue?". The Realtor looked at the woman quizzically and replied that the house did not. This continued for several more homes, each time a promising home was turned down because of the lack of a Halo Statue. Finally the Realtor had enough and asked, "Pardon me, but what exactly is a Halo Statue", to which the reply was, "You know, ring, ring, Halo Statue?"
Need software developed? Offering C# development all over the United States, ERL GLOBAL, Inc is the only call you will have to make.
Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know. -- Ernest Hemingway
Most of this sig is for Google, not ego. -
Haha, didn't know you knew Afrikaans :)
xacc.ide - now with TabsToSpaces support
IronScheme - 1.0 alpha 4a out now (29 May 2008)I kan like to praat the taal stukkend ek se! :) I was born in Ireland, grew up in SA. Only moved back here a year & a half ago. I used to live here[^] so I can't really post any jokes about dorpies :)
But fortunately we have the nanny-state politicians who can step in to protect us poor stupid consumers, most of whom would not know a JVM from a frozen chicken. Bruce Pierson
Because programming is an art, not a science. Marc Clifton
I gave up when I couldn't spell "egg". Justine Allen -
I kan like to praat the taal stukkend ek se! :) I was born in Ireland, grew up in SA. Only moved back here a year & a half ago. I used to live here[^] so I can't really post any jokes about dorpies :)
But fortunately we have the nanny-state politicians who can step in to protect us poor stupid consumers, most of whom would not know a JVM from a frozen chicken. Bruce Pierson
Because programming is an art, not a science. Marc Clifton
I gave up when I couldn't spell "egg". Justine AllenDave Sexton wrote:
I used to live here[^]
I can with relative surity say, I have never been there ;P Wait I lie, I must have drove through there on my way to Sasolburg!
xacc.ide - now with TabsToSpaces support
IronScheme - 1.0 alpha 4a out now (29 May 2008) -
Dave Sexton wrote:
I used to live here[^]
I can with relative surity say, I have never been there ;P Wait I lie, I must have drove through there on my way to Sasolburg!
xacc.ide - now with TabsToSpaces support
IronScheme - 1.0 alpha 4a out now (29 May 2008)leppie wrote:
Sasolburg
Poor bastard... :)
But fortunately we have the nanny-state politicians who can step in to protect us poor stupid consumers, most of whom would not know a JVM from a frozen chicken. Bruce Pierson
Because programming is an art, not a science. Marc Clifton
I gave up when I couldn't spell "egg". Justine Allen -
Boksburg, Brakpan, Kempton Park, etc. And that's just the East.
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Not sure if these all pass the kid sister rule but here goes. Apologies to those how don't speak Afrikaans. Joke 1 A woman sitting at a restaurant in Benoni suddenly began to cough while eating a giant country-fried steak. After a few seconds it became apparent that she was in real distress, and two locals at the next table turned to look at her. "Kan you like swallow?", asked one. The woman signalled 'No', desperately shaking her head. "Kan you like breeve?" asked the other. The woman, beginning to turn a bit blue, shook her head 'No.' With that, the first Benoni ou walked over to her, lifted up the back of her skirt, pulled down her briefs and slowly ran his tongue up and down the woman's butt crack. This shocked the woman into such a violent spasm that the obstruction flew out of her mouth and she began to breathe again. The man slowly walked back over to his table and proudly took another sip of his Klipdrift & Coke. His partner said in admiration, "Ma se moer, I did heard of that Hind Lick Manoeuvre, but I never did saw anybody done it before.." Joke 2 The latest pickup line from Benoni - "Your pritty eyes is laaik spanners, everie taaim I looks at you my cupcake, my nuts taaighten..." Joke 3 'n Benoni ma neem haar 12-jarige dogter vir die eerste keer ginekoloog toe. Die dokter vra "Meisie, wat's fout?" Sy sê "Oom, my P&%#s is seer!" Die ma klap haar skoon uit haar stoel uit. "Dis nie oom nie, dis Dokter!!"
But fortunately we have the nanny-state politicians who can step in to protect us poor stupid consumers, most of whom would not know a JVM from a frozen chicken. Bruce Pierson
Because programming is an art, not a science. Marc Clifton
I gave up when I couldn't spell "egg". Justine Allen -
A *insert stereotype here* woman was looking to buy a home for the first time and was driving around with a Realtor. At the first house the Realtor described the neighborhood and the schools, showed the kitchen and just generally described the home as to be expected. After the tour the *insert stereotype here* woman asked, "Does this house have a Halo Statue?". The Realtor looked at the woman quizzically and replied that the house did not. This continued for several more homes, each time a promising home was turned down because of the lack of a Halo Statue. Finally the Realtor had enough and asked, "Pardon me, but what exactly is a Halo Statue", to which the reply was, "You know, ring, ring, Halo Statue?"
Need software developed? Offering C# development all over the United States, ERL GLOBAL, Inc is the only call you will have to make.
Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know. -- Ernest Hemingway
Most of this sig is for Google, not ego.I don't get it...
But fortunately we have the nanny-state politicians who can step in to protect us poor stupid consumers, most of whom would not know a JVM from a frozen chicken. Bruce Pierson
Because programming is an art, not a science. Marc Clifton
I gave up when I couldn't spell "egg". Justine Allen -
I don't get it...
But fortunately we have the nanny-state politicians who can step in to protect us poor stupid consumers, most of whom would not know a JVM from a frozen chicken. Bruce Pierson
Because programming is an art, not a science. Marc Clifton
I gave up when I couldn't spell "egg". Justine AllenSay "Halo Statue" aloud, it is a joke on people with dialects. When said it is disturbingly similar to, "Hello, is that you?" thus the joke.
Need software developed? Offering C# development all over the United States, ERL GLOBAL, Inc is the only call you will have to make.
Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know. -- Ernest Hemingway
Most of this sig is for Google, not ego. -
Say "Halo Statue" aloud, it is a joke on people with dialects. When said it is disturbingly similar to, "Hello, is that you?" thus the joke.
Need software developed? Offering C# development all over the United States, ERL GLOBAL, Inc is the only call you will have to make.
Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know. -- Ernest Hemingway
Most of this sig is for Google, not ego.Ah. Reminds me of an April fool's joke I played on a few mates. I sent them what appeared to be an article from the BBC saying that Osama bin Laden had been found. He was living in NYC working as a hotdog vendor under the assumed name of Uirbud Hasfuldya (Uirbud Hasfuldya = "Yer bud has fool'd ya" when said out loud). Worked a treat as I got the same fake article back from someone I didn't send it to :) I should dig it up for next year.
But fortunately we have the nanny-state politicians who can step in to protect us poor stupid consumers, most of whom would not know a JVM from a frozen chicken. Bruce Pierson
Because programming is an art, not a science. Marc Clifton
I gave up when I couldn't spell "egg". Justine Allen -
Ah. Reminds me of an April fool's joke I played on a few mates. I sent them what appeared to be an article from the BBC saying that Osama bin Laden had been found. He was living in NYC working as a hotdog vendor under the assumed name of Uirbud Hasfuldya (Uirbud Hasfuldya = "Yer bud has fool'd ya" when said out loud). Worked a treat as I got the same fake article back from someone I didn't send it to :) I should dig it up for next year.
But fortunately we have the nanny-state politicians who can step in to protect us poor stupid consumers, most of whom would not know a JVM from a frozen chicken. Bruce Pierson
Because programming is an art, not a science. Marc Clifton
I gave up when I couldn't spell "egg". Justine Allen