JJOTD: The Zen of Judaism
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If you haven't seen much Jewish comedy then this isn't going to work for you... Let your mind be as a floating cloud. Let your stillness be as the wooded glen. And sit up straight. You'll never meet the Buddha with posture like that. There is no escaping karma. In a previous life, you never called, you never wrote, you never visited. And whose fault was that? Wherever you go, there you are.Your luggage is another story. To practice Zen and the art of Jewish motorcycle maintenance, do the following: get rid of the motorcycle. What were you thinking? Be aware of your body. Be aware of your perceptions. Keep in mind that not every physical sensation is a symptom of a terminal illness. If there is no self, whose arthritis is this? The Tao has no expectations. The Tao demands nothing of others. The Tao does not speak. The Tao does not blame. The Tao does not take sides. The Tao is not Jewish. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Forget this, and attaining Enlightenment will be the least of your problems. Drink tea and nourish life. With the first sip, joy. With the second, satisfaction. With the third, Danish. The Buddha taught that one should practice loving kindness to all sentient beings. Still, would it kill you to find a nice sentient being who happens to be Jewish? Be patient and achieve all things Be impatient and achieve all things faster. To Find the Buddha, look within. Deep inside you are ten thousand flowers. Each flower blossoms ten thousand times. Each blossom has ten thousand petals. You might want to see a specialist. Be here now. Be someplace else later. Is that so complicated? Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkes.
cheers, Paul M. Watson.
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If you haven't seen much Jewish comedy then this isn't going to work for you... Let your mind be as a floating cloud. Let your stillness be as the wooded glen. And sit up straight. You'll never meet the Buddha with posture like that. There is no escaping karma. In a previous life, you never called, you never wrote, you never visited. And whose fault was that? Wherever you go, there you are.Your luggage is another story. To practice Zen and the art of Jewish motorcycle maintenance, do the following: get rid of the motorcycle. What were you thinking? Be aware of your body. Be aware of your perceptions. Keep in mind that not every physical sensation is a symptom of a terminal illness. If there is no self, whose arthritis is this? The Tao has no expectations. The Tao demands nothing of others. The Tao does not speak. The Tao does not blame. The Tao does not take sides. The Tao is not Jewish. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Forget this, and attaining Enlightenment will be the least of your problems. Drink tea and nourish life. With the first sip, joy. With the second, satisfaction. With the third, Danish. The Buddha taught that one should practice loving kindness to all sentient beings. Still, would it kill you to find a nice sentient being who happens to be Jewish? Be patient and achieve all things Be impatient and achieve all things faster. To Find the Buddha, look within. Deep inside you are ten thousand flowers. Each flower blossoms ten thousand times. Each blossom has ten thousand petals. You might want to see a specialist. Be here now. Be someplace else later. Is that so complicated? Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkes.
cheers, Paul M. Watson.
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If you haven't seen much Jewish comedy then this isn't going to work for you... Let your mind be as a floating cloud. Let your stillness be as the wooded glen. And sit up straight. You'll never meet the Buddha with posture like that. There is no escaping karma. In a previous life, you never called, you never wrote, you never visited. And whose fault was that? Wherever you go, there you are.Your luggage is another story. To practice Zen and the art of Jewish motorcycle maintenance, do the following: get rid of the motorcycle. What were you thinking? Be aware of your body. Be aware of your perceptions. Keep in mind that not every physical sensation is a symptom of a terminal illness. If there is no self, whose arthritis is this? The Tao has no expectations. The Tao demands nothing of others. The Tao does not speak. The Tao does not blame. The Tao does not take sides. The Tao is not Jewish. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Forget this, and attaining Enlightenment will be the least of your problems. Drink tea and nourish life. With the first sip, joy. With the second, satisfaction. With the third, Danish. The Buddha taught that one should practice loving kindness to all sentient beings. Still, would it kill you to find a nice sentient being who happens to be Jewish? Be patient and achieve all things Be impatient and achieve all things faster. To Find the Buddha, look within. Deep inside you are ten thousand flowers. Each flower blossoms ten thousand times. Each blossom has ten thousand petals. You might want to see a specialist. Be here now. Be someplace else later. Is that so complicated? Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkes.
cheers, Paul M. Watson.
I never found Jewish comedy very funny, sorry. Must be a cultural thing.
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I never found Jewish comedy very funny, sorry. Must be a cultural thing.
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I am still wondering is that was a poem/prose or a joke as I didn't get the funny part... :sigh:
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((lambda (x) `((lambda (x) ,x) ',x)) '`((lambda (x) ,x) ',x)):) Woody Allen's alleged comedy is another one that does nothing for me at all.
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I am still wondering is that was a poem/prose or a joke as I didn't get the funny part... :sigh:
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((lambda (x) `((lambda (x) ,x) ',x)) '`((lambda (x) ,x) ',x))You are not tapping into your Jewish angst! Work it leppie, work it.
cheers, Paul M. Watson.
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I never found Jewish comedy very funny, sorry. Must be a cultural thing.
That's OK, not everyone is right for our humour... ;) (I'm not Jewish. Just watched, and enjoyed, lots of Jewish comedy. I can hear that whiny nagging voice in my head as I read the joke.)
cheers, Paul M. Watson.
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That's OK, not everyone is right for our humour... ;) (I'm not Jewish. Just watched, and enjoyed, lots of Jewish comedy. I can hear that whiny nagging voice in my head as I read the joke.)
cheers, Paul M. Watson.
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That's OK, not everyone is right for our humour... ;) (I'm not Jewish. Just watched, and enjoyed, lots of Jewish comedy. I can hear that whiny nagging voice in my head as I read the joke.)
cheers, Paul M. Watson.
Paul Watson wrote:
I can hear that whiny nagging voice
I suspect that's part of why I don't find it funny... :(
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If you haven't seen much Jewish comedy then this isn't going to work for you... Let your mind be as a floating cloud. Let your stillness be as the wooded glen. And sit up straight. You'll never meet the Buddha with posture like that. There is no escaping karma. In a previous life, you never called, you never wrote, you never visited. And whose fault was that? Wherever you go, there you are.Your luggage is another story. To practice Zen and the art of Jewish motorcycle maintenance, do the following: get rid of the motorcycle. What were you thinking? Be aware of your body. Be aware of your perceptions. Keep in mind that not every physical sensation is a symptom of a terminal illness. If there is no self, whose arthritis is this? The Tao has no expectations. The Tao demands nothing of others. The Tao does not speak. The Tao does not blame. The Tao does not take sides. The Tao is not Jewish. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Forget this, and attaining Enlightenment will be the least of your problems. Drink tea and nourish life. With the first sip, joy. With the second, satisfaction. With the third, Danish. The Buddha taught that one should practice loving kindness to all sentient beings. Still, would it kill you to find a nice sentient being who happens to be Jewish? Be patient and achieve all things Be impatient and achieve all things faster. To Find the Buddha, look within. Deep inside you are ten thousand flowers. Each flower blossoms ten thousand times. Each blossom has ten thousand petals. You might want to see a specialist. Be here now. Be someplace else later. Is that so complicated? Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkes.
cheers, Paul M. Watson.
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If you haven't seen much Jewish comedy then this isn't going to work for you... Let your mind be as a floating cloud. Let your stillness be as the wooded glen. And sit up straight. You'll never meet the Buddha with posture like that. There is no escaping karma. In a previous life, you never called, you never wrote, you never visited. And whose fault was that? Wherever you go, there you are.Your luggage is another story. To practice Zen and the art of Jewish motorcycle maintenance, do the following: get rid of the motorcycle. What were you thinking? Be aware of your body. Be aware of your perceptions. Keep in mind that not every physical sensation is a symptom of a terminal illness. If there is no self, whose arthritis is this? The Tao has no expectations. The Tao demands nothing of others. The Tao does not speak. The Tao does not blame. The Tao does not take sides. The Tao is not Jewish. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Forget this, and attaining Enlightenment will be the least of your problems. Drink tea and nourish life. With the first sip, joy. With the second, satisfaction. With the third, Danish. The Buddha taught that one should practice loving kindness to all sentient beings. Still, would it kill you to find a nice sentient being who happens to be Jewish? Be patient and achieve all things Be impatient and achieve all things faster. To Find the Buddha, look within. Deep inside you are ten thousand flowers. Each flower blossoms ten thousand times. Each blossom has ten thousand petals. You might want to see a specialist. Be here now. Be someplace else later. Is that so complicated? Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkes.
cheers, Paul M. Watson.
Oedipus Schmedipus, so long as he loves his mother!
------------------------------------ We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office. - Aesop
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If you haven't seen much Jewish comedy then this isn't going to work for you... Let your mind be as a floating cloud. Let your stillness be as the wooded glen. And sit up straight. You'll never meet the Buddha with posture like that. There is no escaping karma. In a previous life, you never called, you never wrote, you never visited. And whose fault was that? Wherever you go, there you are.Your luggage is another story. To practice Zen and the art of Jewish motorcycle maintenance, do the following: get rid of the motorcycle. What were you thinking? Be aware of your body. Be aware of your perceptions. Keep in mind that not every physical sensation is a symptom of a terminal illness. If there is no self, whose arthritis is this? The Tao has no expectations. The Tao demands nothing of others. The Tao does not speak. The Tao does not blame. The Tao does not take sides. The Tao is not Jewish. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Forget this, and attaining Enlightenment will be the least of your problems. Drink tea and nourish life. With the first sip, joy. With the second, satisfaction. With the third, Danish. The Buddha taught that one should practice loving kindness to all sentient beings. Still, would it kill you to find a nice sentient being who happens to be Jewish? Be patient and achieve all things Be impatient and achieve all things faster. To Find the Buddha, look within. Deep inside you are ten thousand flowers. Each flower blossoms ten thousand times. Each blossom has ten thousand petals. You might want to see a specialist. Be here now. Be someplace else later. Is that so complicated? Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkes.
cheers, Paul M. Watson.
Paul Watson wrote:
If there is no self, whose arthritis is this?
Ha! Love that one! :laugh: ...Makes me feel a bit old, though... :(( Peace!
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If you haven't seen much Jewish comedy then this isn't going to work for you... Let your mind be as a floating cloud. Let your stillness be as the wooded glen. And sit up straight. You'll never meet the Buddha with posture like that. There is no escaping karma. In a previous life, you never called, you never wrote, you never visited. And whose fault was that? Wherever you go, there you are.Your luggage is another story. To practice Zen and the art of Jewish motorcycle maintenance, do the following: get rid of the motorcycle. What were you thinking? Be aware of your body. Be aware of your perceptions. Keep in mind that not every physical sensation is a symptom of a terminal illness. If there is no self, whose arthritis is this? The Tao has no expectations. The Tao demands nothing of others. The Tao does not speak. The Tao does not blame. The Tao does not take sides. The Tao is not Jewish. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Forget this, and attaining Enlightenment will be the least of your problems. Drink tea and nourish life. With the first sip, joy. With the second, satisfaction. With the third, Danish. The Buddha taught that one should practice loving kindness to all sentient beings. Still, would it kill you to find a nice sentient being who happens to be Jewish? Be patient and achieve all things Be impatient and achieve all things faster. To Find the Buddha, look within. Deep inside you are ten thousand flowers. Each flower blossoms ten thousand times. Each blossom has ten thousand petals. You might want to see a specialist. Be here now. Be someplace else later. Is that so complicated? Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkes.
cheers, Paul M. Watson.
:laugh: The funiest post I've read in a long time an I don't even like Jewish humour, brilliant!
"The secret of happiness is freedom, and the secret of freedom, courage." Thucydides (B.C. 460-400)
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If you haven't seen much Jewish comedy then this isn't going to work for you... Let your mind be as a floating cloud. Let your stillness be as the wooded glen. And sit up straight. You'll never meet the Buddha with posture like that. There is no escaping karma. In a previous life, you never called, you never wrote, you never visited. And whose fault was that? Wherever you go, there you are.Your luggage is another story. To practice Zen and the art of Jewish motorcycle maintenance, do the following: get rid of the motorcycle. What were you thinking? Be aware of your body. Be aware of your perceptions. Keep in mind that not every physical sensation is a symptom of a terminal illness. If there is no self, whose arthritis is this? The Tao has no expectations. The Tao demands nothing of others. The Tao does not speak. The Tao does not blame. The Tao does not take sides. The Tao is not Jewish. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Forget this, and attaining Enlightenment will be the least of your problems. Drink tea and nourish life. With the first sip, joy. With the second, satisfaction. With the third, Danish. The Buddha taught that one should practice loving kindness to all sentient beings. Still, would it kill you to find a nice sentient being who happens to be Jewish? Be patient and achieve all things Be impatient and achieve all things faster. To Find the Buddha, look within. Deep inside you are ten thousand flowers. Each flower blossoms ten thousand times. Each blossom has ten thousand petals. You might want to see a specialist. Be here now. Be someplace else later. Is that so complicated? Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkes.
cheers, Paul M. Watson.
Reminds me of this article from satirewire http://www.satirewire.com/news/may02/hinjews.shtml[^]
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If you haven't seen much Jewish comedy then this isn't going to work for you... Let your mind be as a floating cloud. Let your stillness be as the wooded glen. And sit up straight. You'll never meet the Buddha with posture like that. There is no escaping karma. In a previous life, you never called, you never wrote, you never visited. And whose fault was that? Wherever you go, there you are.Your luggage is another story. To practice Zen and the art of Jewish motorcycle maintenance, do the following: get rid of the motorcycle. What were you thinking? Be aware of your body. Be aware of your perceptions. Keep in mind that not every physical sensation is a symptom of a terminal illness. If there is no self, whose arthritis is this? The Tao has no expectations. The Tao demands nothing of others. The Tao does not speak. The Tao does not blame. The Tao does not take sides. The Tao is not Jewish. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Forget this, and attaining Enlightenment will be the least of your problems. Drink tea and nourish life. With the first sip, joy. With the second, satisfaction. With the third, Danish. The Buddha taught that one should practice loving kindness to all sentient beings. Still, would it kill you to find a nice sentient being who happens to be Jewish? Be patient and achieve all things Be impatient and achieve all things faster. To Find the Buddha, look within. Deep inside you are ten thousand flowers. Each flower blossoms ten thousand times. Each blossom has ten thousand petals. You might want to see a specialist. Be here now. Be someplace else later. Is that so complicated? Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkes.
cheers, Paul M. Watson.
How many Jewish grandmothers does it take to change a lightbulb? It's OK, I'll just sit here in the dark.
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How many Jewish grandmothers does it take to change a lightbulb? It's OK, I'll just sit here in the dark.