Where's Adnan?
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jith - iii wrote:
But coming to inter religious marriages,all religion are in the same boat.
I don't believe that is true.
Christian Graus Driven to the arms of OSX by Vista.
Well,In india Christains are normally soft in terms of inter religious marriages. The only condition would be the boy/girl of the other religion needs to be converted into Christianity. If they are not ready,there won't be riots but the church will try to baptist their children. Otherwise, they would be out of church and it's like a big punishment in Christianity where you would not be even allowed to be buried in the church cemetery. Still this is dependent up on the level of influence of the people in the church. In the case of hindu's maximum punishment can be your parents will not accept you afterwards. You would not be allowed in any family functions. It's as if you will not allow your enemy to attend any of your family functions. It's fun you know. :) .Watching the impact an inter caste or religious love marriage makes in the society.
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Well,In india Christains are normally soft in terms of inter religious marriages. The only condition would be the boy/girl of the other religion needs to be converted into Christianity. If they are not ready,there won't be riots but the church will try to baptist their children. Otherwise, they would be out of church and it's like a big punishment in Christianity where you would not be even allowed to be buried in the church cemetery. Still this is dependent up on the level of influence of the people in the church. In the case of hindu's maximum punishment can be your parents will not accept you afterwards. You would not be allowed in any family functions. It's as if you will not allow your enemy to attend any of your family functions. It's fun you know. :) .Watching the impact an inter caste or religious love marriage makes in the society.
jith - iii wrote:
The only condition would be the boy/girl of the other religion needs to be converted into Christianity.
See, that doesn't happen here, at all. We just hope our kids find someone who they love and who will love them. Of course, as a Christian, I am happy to share what I believe and inevitably will do so to whoever my kids bring home, but it won't be a prerequisite for marriage.
jith - iii wrote:
and it's like a big punishment in Christianity where you would not be even allowed to be buried in the church cemetery
Odd. We just have cemeteries, and Christianity actually has nothing to say about how people are buried, that's obviously a local invention b.c I've not heard of it happening in the west past the dark ages.
jith - iii wrote:
It's fun you know. .Watching the impact an inter caste or religious love marriage makes in the society.
It sounds messed up to me. Nothing like that happens here, at least, not in general society. I'm sure there are isolated cases where immigrants follow their old beliefs.
Christian Graus Driven to the arms of OSX by Vista.
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jith - iii wrote:
The logic here is,parents would have more life experience to select a better partner for their wards.
And that's a pile of BS.
jith - iii wrote:
If this happens it's only amongst the uneducated.
IF this happens ? It plainly happens. What's really needed is for educated Muslims to decry it as much as ignorant ones like Adnan make excuses for it.
Christian Graus Driven to the arms of OSX by Vista.
Christian Graus wrote:
And that's a pile of BS.
It's not like you imagine. Many of the educated yout prefer arranged marriages. First thing, the money you get as part of dowry which will be useful for the initial expenditure while staring to run a family :) . Second,you will realize that it's really unlikely for you to get the dream beauty of which you imagine. So you will be ready to make compromises. Many people who would fall behind the love market could thus come forward. Money,Job security,family all these things take priority and believe me it'll be hotter than any big business deal. Matrimonial sites and marriage brokerage are a big businesses in India.
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Well,In india Christains are normally soft in terms of inter religious marriages. The only condition would be the boy/girl of the other religion needs to be converted into Christianity. If they are not ready,there won't be riots but the church will try to baptist their children. Otherwise, they would be out of church and it's like a big punishment in Christianity where you would not be even allowed to be buried in the church cemetery. Still this is dependent up on the level of influence of the people in the church. In the case of hindu's maximum punishment can be your parents will not accept you afterwards. You would not be allowed in any family functions. It's as if you will not allow your enemy to attend any of your family functions. It's fun you know. :) .Watching the impact an inter caste or religious love marriage makes in the society.
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jith - iii wrote:
The only condition would be the boy/girl of the other religion needs to be converted into Christianity.
See, that doesn't happen here, at all. We just hope our kids find someone who they love and who will love them. Of course, as a Christian, I am happy to share what I believe and inevitably will do so to whoever my kids bring home, but it won't be a prerequisite for marriage.
jith - iii wrote:
and it's like a big punishment in Christianity where you would not be even allowed to be buried in the church cemetery
Odd. We just have cemeteries, and Christianity actually has nothing to say about how people are buried, that's obviously a local invention b.c I've not heard of it happening in the west past the dark ages.
jith - iii wrote:
It's fun you know. .Watching the impact an inter caste or religious love marriage makes in the society.
It sounds messed up to me. Nothing like that happens here, at least, not in general society. I'm sure there are isolated cases where immigrants follow their old beliefs.
Christian Graus Driven to the arms of OSX by Vista.
Christian Graus wrote:
We just hope our kids find someone who they love and who will love them
Depends on the society. In india family takes priority to your personal interests. How many relatives you are having?. In any small family occassions we could expect atleast 200-300 close relatives. If it's a big event you can expect 1000-2000 relatives. Here in India,If your kid has gone with someone you lost the oppurtunity to feed 2000 relatives.:) Another thing is,Indian soceity never accepts divorces. If you give moe freedom to your kids,premarital sex,abortion these are the nightmares forthe parents. They are afraid of it. That's why so much brainstorming takes place with marriages. A typical marriage plan will long a minimum of one year where parents collects the biodata of maximum brides/grooms for their kids and chooses the best suited one.
modified on Monday, December 15, 2008 1:33 AM
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jith - iii wrote:
In the case of hindu's maximum punishment can be your parents will not accept you afterwards.
Often that maximum punishment also don't last for long time. btw do you still believe all the religions are in the same boat?
-Suhredayan
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Christian Graus wrote:
We just hope our kids find someone who they love and who will love them
Depends on the society. In india family takes priority to your personal interests. How many relatives you are having?. In any small family occassions we could expect atleast 200-300 close relatives. If it's a big event you can expect 1000-2000 relatives. Here in India,If your kid has gone with someone you lost the oppurtunity to feed 2000 relatives.:) Another thing is,Indian soceity never accepts divorces. If you give moe freedom to your kids,premarital sex,abortion these are the nightmares forthe parents. They are afraid of it. That's why so much brainstorming takes place with marriages. A typical marriage plan will long a minimum of one year where parents collects the biodata of maximum brides/grooms for their kids and chooses the best suited one.
modified on Monday, December 15, 2008 1:33 AM
jith - iii wrote:
If your kid has gone with someone ou lost the oppurtunity to feed 2000 relatives.
I'm not sure how you mean.
jith - iii wrote:
Another thing is,Indian soceity never accepts divorces
Well, that's also insane.
jith - iii wrote:
premarital sex,abortion
I would imagine those things are rampant in a society where divorce is not allowed.
jith - iii wrote:
They are afraid of it
As a father of a 12 yo girl, I can say I am scared of these things, too. But, my approach is 100% honesty and open communication. The one thing I want less than for my daughter to make mistakes that lead to her being pregnant, is for her to make those mistakes alone.
jith - iii wrote:
A typical marriage plan will long a minimum of one year where parents collects the biodata of maximum brides/grooms for their kids and chooses the best suited one.
I'm sorry, but that is so creepy/scary to western ears.
Christian Graus Driven to the arms of OSX by Vista.
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jith - iii wrote:
The proof what they show here is the less number of divorces.
Fewer divorces mean that the woman isn't working in a job that can support her. and/Or a legal system tilted towards forcing people to stay together.
Jon Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface
That's not true. Many of the women are working now and they are independent. Still there are not much divorces. Mainly this is because after marriage both man and woman would get absorbed to their family with their children. A divorce will never be a beautifull dream to them. And even if women are not working,their parents would still support them. That's the case of arranged marrige since parents have all the responsibility of that marriage. In case of the divorces that we are seeing most of them are triggerred with the support of parents.
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That's not true. Many of the women are working now and they are independent. Still there are not much divorces. Mainly this is because after marriage both man and woman would get absorbed to their family with their children. A divorce will never be a beautifull dream to them. And even if women are not working,their parents would still support them. That's the case of arranged marrige since parents have all the responsibility of that marriage. In case of the divorces that we are seeing most of them are triggerred with the support of parents.
jith - iii wrote:
Mainly this is because after marriage both man and woman would get absorbed to their family with their children
This does not stop divorces, most divorced couples fight mostly over access to kids, they both still love their kids.
Christian Graus Driven to the arms of OSX by Vista.
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Christian Graus wrote:
And that's a pile of BS.
It's not like you imagine. Many of the educated yout prefer arranged marriages. First thing, the money you get as part of dowry which will be useful for the initial expenditure while staring to run a family :) . Second,you will realize that it's really unlikely for you to get the dream beauty of which you imagine. So you will be ready to make compromises. Many people who would fall behind the love market could thus come forward. Money,Job security,family all these things take priority and believe me it'll be hotter than any big business deal. Matrimonial sites and marriage brokerage are a big businesses in India.
It sounds like a very sad society indeed. If I wanted to approach romance as a business transaction, I'd pay a hooker and have the house to myself.
Christian Graus Driven to the arms of OSX by Vista.
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That's not true. Many of the women are working now and they are independent. Still there are not much divorces. Mainly this is because after marriage both man and woman would get absorbed to their family with their children. A divorce will never be a beautifull dream to them. And even if women are not working,their parents would still support them. That's the case of arranged marrige since parents have all the responsibility of that marriage. In case of the divorces that we are seeing most of them are triggerred with the support of parents.
I offered up the alternative of a legal code tilited in favor of forcing couples to stay ogether. In most Western nations, there are approximately 16 distinct reasons for which divorces are granted. In India, however, only five main reasons are generally accepted as sufficient grounds for divorce. On the other hand, according to P. R. Amato, who wrote "The Impact of Divorce on Men and Women in India and The United States," an article in the Journal of Comparative Family Studies, "There is great disparity between the economic ramifications of divorce between men and women. Men remain relatively unaffected while women, especially those with children, have difficulty "providing food, clothing and shelter for themselves and their children." The government in urban areas usually provides some form of public assistance to single mothers, but this service is not fully taken advantage of because most do not know of its existence." "Often a woman is not able to rely on her family for support because many parents "feel they have discharged their obligations to a daughter by arranging her marriage and providing a dowry." Dowries are not returned after a divorce. Also, due to the social stigma of divorce, women find it difficult to remarry and usually attempt to establish an independent household."
Jon Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface
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I understand what you meant. Child marriages and baseless divorces are happening mainly amongst muslims. But protests againsts these are happenening inside islam itself. It's just because of lack of education and muslim community in India is realizing that now and we could see many Islamic youth orgnizations active on various human rights issues in islam. But coming to inter religious marriages,all religion are in the same boat.
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jith - iii wrote:
The proof what they show here is the less number of divorces.
Fewer divorces mean that the woman isn't working in a job that can support her. and/Or a legal system tilted towards forcing people to stay together.
Jon Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface
Oakman wrote:
Fewer divorces mean that the woman isn't working in a job that can support her. and/Or a legal system tilted towards forcing people to stay together.
I agree with this statement. In addition, in India and some Asian culture there is a push from the society to not divorce. Being a divorcee is seen as totally bad for your social status. Instead people just have an extra-marital relationship instead.
"A democracy is nothing more than mob rule, where fifty-one percent of the people may take away the rights of the other forty-nine." - Thomas Jefferson "Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote." - Benjamin Franklin Edbert Sydney, Australia
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jith - iii wrote:
Mainly this is because after marriage both man and woman would get absorbed to their family with their children
This does not stop divorces, most divorced couples fight mostly over access to kids, they both still love their kids.
Christian Graus Driven to the arms of OSX by Vista.
Christian Graus wrote:
they both still love their kids
Christian Graus wrote:
most divorced couples fight mostly over access to kids
I don't think one follows from the other. If they both really loved their children, then they wouldn't use them as clubs.
Gary Kirkham Forever Forgiven and Alive in the Spirit "Truly, truly, I say to you, he who hears My word, and believes Him who sent Me, has eternal life, and does not come into judgment, but has passed out of death into life. Me blog, You read
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Nishant Sivakumar wrote:
I don't think that having it happen in India makes it any less of a tragedy.
Unless you're the man. In India they pay you to marry their daughters. The man gets the dowry. :-D
Simply Elegant Designs JimmyRopes Designs
Think inside the box! ProActive Secure Systems
I'm on-line therefore I am. JimmyRopesJimmyRopes wrote:
The man gets the dowry
And spend the rest of his life/marriage paying for it!
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity RAH
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JimmyRopes wrote:
The man gets the dowry
And spend the rest of his life/marriage paying for it!
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity RAH
Mycroft Holmes wrote:
And spend the rest of his life/marriage paying for it!
That is true regardless of if you get the dowry or give the dowry, so it is better if you get one. :doh:
Simply Elegant Designs JimmyRopes Designs
Think inside the box! ProActive Secure Systems
I'm on-line therefore I am. JimmyRopes -
jith - iii wrote:
I dont think we have yet reached the level to accept inter religious marriges
I don't have any issues, neither would I be kicked out of my family, if my partner is from a different religion. So who are we here?
-Suhredayan
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jith - iii wrote:
If your kid has gone with someone ou lost the oppurtunity to feed 2000 relatives.
I'm not sure how you mean.
jith - iii wrote:
Another thing is,Indian soceity never accepts divorces
Well, that's also insane.
jith - iii wrote:
premarital sex,abortion
I would imagine those things are rampant in a society where divorce is not allowed.
jith - iii wrote:
They are afraid of it
As a father of a 12 yo girl, I can say I am scared of these things, too. But, my approach is 100% honesty and open communication. The one thing I want less than for my daughter to make mistakes that lead to her being pregnant, is for her to make those mistakes alone.
jith - iii wrote:
A typical marriage plan will long a minimum of one year where parents collects the biodata of maximum brides/grooms for their kids and chooses the best suited one.
I'm sorry, but that is so creepy/scary to western ears.
Christian Graus Driven to the arms of OSX by Vista.
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Oakman wrote:
Fewer divorces mean that the woman isn't working in a job that can support her. and/Or a legal system tilted towards forcing people to stay together.
I agree with this statement. In addition, in India and some Asian culture there is a push from the society to not divorce. Being a divorcee is seen as totally bad for your social status. Instead people just have an extra-marital relationship instead.
"A democracy is nothing more than mob rule, where fifty-one percent of the people may take away the rights of the other forty-nine." - Thomas Jefferson "Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote." - Benjamin Franklin Edbert Sydney, Australia