Where's Adnan?
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Adnan Siddiqi wrote:
one word, Islamphobia.
What do you have to say about this : "I personally know of a Muslim girl (my sister's classmate) who was in a relationship with a Christian classmate. Her parents threatened to kill the lad, threatened that they'd suicide, confiscated her cell phone and driving license, and even locked her up in a room when she tried to argue with them. Eventually she succumbed and was forced to marry a Muslim lad of her parents' choice." What's Islamophobic about stating an incident that I was personally aware of?
Regards, Nish
Nish’s thoughts on MFC, C++/CLI and .NET (my blog)
My latest book : C++/CLI in Action / Amazon.com linkNishant Sivakumar wrote:
"I personally know of a Muslim girl (my sister's classmate) who was in a relationship with a Christian classmate.
since when do you become an authentic source? it more sounds Nigerian scam mails I often get in name of Mariam Abacha. :rolleyes:
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Oakman wrote:
Fewer divorces mean that the woman isn't working in a job that can support her. and/Or a legal system tilted towards forcing people to stay together.
I agree with this statement. In addition, in India and some Asian culture there is a push from the society to not divorce. Being a divorcee is seen as totally bad for your social status. Instead people just have an extra-marital relationship instead.
"A democracy is nothing more than mob rule, where fifty-one percent of the people may take away the rights of the other forty-nine." - Thomas Jefferson "Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote." - Benjamin Franklin Edbert Sydney, Australia
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Edbert P wrote:
In addition, in India and some Asian culture there is a push from the society to not divorce.
This is true
Edbert P wrote:
Being a divorcee is seen as totally bad for your social status
This is not at all true.
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Oakman wrote:
"Often a woman is not able to rely on her family for support because many parents "feel they have discharged their obligations to a daughter by arranging her marriage and providing a dowry."
This is just a piece of fiction. Odd cases might be there. But,generally In India a divorced woman would return back to her parents,if the marriage was initiated by the parents. And divorces are very unlikely to happen within weeks or months. several attempts are done from the family,soceity and even from court to reconcile them.
modified on Monday, December 15, 2008 11:14 AM
jith - iii wrote:
This is just a piece of fiction
It was a direct quote from an academic in a reputable sociological magazine. I certainly grant that doesn't make it true, but so far, you aren't providing anything but your opinions to counter what seems to be a well-established view of divorce in India.
Jon Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface
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Nishant Sivakumar wrote:
"I personally know of a Muslim girl (my sister's classmate) who was in a relationship with a Christian classmate.
since when do you become an authentic source? it more sounds Nigerian scam mails I often get in name of Mariam Abacha. :rolleyes:
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jith - iii wrote:
This is not at all true.
Not according to what I found on the web. But if you say India is perfect, who am I to argue?
Jon Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface
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I'm not saying India is perfect. Neither I support everything that I put in here as happening in Indian society.
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jith - iii wrote:
This is just a piece of fiction
It was a direct quote from an academic in a reputable sociological magazine. I certainly grant that doesn't make it true, but so far, you aren't providing anything but your opinions to counter what seems to be a well-established view of divorce in India.
Jon Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface
Oakman wrote:
so far, you aren't providing anything but your opinions
:)I live here. Why should I quote some books for explaining the things that is happening infront of me. If you don't belive me,there are lot of Indians roaming around here. Ask them. Nobody will support forcefull marriages against the wish of their children (I don't think that's too common here). Still in some cases people may support the parents for doing so,if they are convinced that the interest of the girl(in most cases) is will ultimately give her only unhappiness. But nowadays, most of the parents will ultimately agree to their children's wish after the initial fuss. But generally Indian public accept arranged marriage despite of the level of education they are having.
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This particular incident happened in Bangladesh, but I am sure incidents like this are very frequent amongst Muslim families in Pakistan and India too. I personally know of a Muslim girl (my sister's classmate) who was in a relationship with a Christian classmate. Her parents threatened to kill the lad, threatened that they'd suicide, confiscated her cell phone and driving license, and even locked her up in a room when she tried to argue with them. Eventually she succumbed and was forced to marry a Muslim lad of her parents' choice. A tragedy really! :sigh:
Regards, Nish
Nish’s thoughts on MFC, C++/CLI and .NET (my blog)
My latest book : C++/CLI in Action / Amazon.com link -
Oakman wrote:
so far, you aren't providing anything but your opinions
:)I live here. Why should I quote some books for explaining the things that is happening infront of me. If you don't belive me,there are lot of Indians roaming around here. Ask them. Nobody will support forcefull marriages against the wish of their children (I don't think that's too common here). Still in some cases people may support the parents for doing so,if they are convinced that the interest of the girl(in most cases) is will ultimately give her only unhappiness. But nowadays, most of the parents will ultimately agree to their children's wish after the initial fuss. But generally Indian public accept arranged marriage despite of the level of education they are having.
jith - iii wrote:
live here
Yes. And I live in the U.S. I would no more presume to talk about country-wide attitudes, customs or mores without having facts to back me up than I would write spaghetti code. I am perfectly willing to learn something new from you, but apparently, all you have are beliefs, not facts. What I read on the web may be wrong, but at least it seems backed up by some research.
Jon Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface
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jith - iii wrote:
live here
Yes. And I live in the U.S. I would no more presume to talk about country-wide attitudes, customs or mores without having facts to back me up than I would write spaghetti code. I am perfectly willing to learn something new from you, but apparently, all you have are beliefs, not facts. What I read on the web may be wrong, but at least it seems backed up by some research.
Jon Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface
Oakman wrote:
all you have are beliefs, not facts
Ok, then let me correct myself. Whatever the society I know is like what I said. Since India is a big country with a huge population,I cannot authentically claim to know the behavior of the entire nation. What i said is from the experiences of my firends,relatives and people I know. Also from the newspapers. Again community and education plays a crucial role here. And the text you quoted may be true if you consider cities where the self esteem of women would not allow her to go back to the family. Even if this is true I don't see any difference here even if she was in any other country. Women or men if they are alone they would definitely have difficulty in raising kids irrespective of the nation he/she belongs to. Ok...I need a sleep...all society has goods and bads....:)
modified on Monday, December 15, 2008 3:08 PM
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Nishant Sivakumar wrote:
"I personally know of a Muslim girl (my sister's classmate) who was in a relationship with a Christian classmate.
since when do you become an authentic source? it more sounds Nigerian scam mails I often get in name of Mariam Abacha. :rolleyes:
Yes, how can anyone who doesn't agree with your world view be credible ? All those videos of girls being burned alive, they are all faked, right ?
Christian Graus Driven to the arms of OSX by Vista.
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Oakman wrote:
all you have are beliefs, not facts
Ok, then let me correct myself. Whatever the society I know is like what I said. Since India is a big country with a huge population,I cannot authentically claim to know the behavior of the entire nation. What i said is from the experiences of my firends,relatives and people I know. Also from the newspapers. Again community and education plays a crucial role here. And the text you quoted may be true if you consider cities where the self esteem of women would not allow her to go back to the family. Even if this is true I don't see any difference here even if she was in any other country. Women or men if they are alone they would definitely have difficulty in raising kids irrespective of the nation he/she belongs to. Ok...I need a sleep...all society has goods and bads....:)
modified on Monday, December 15, 2008 3:08 PM
jith - iii wrote:
I don't see any difference here even if she was in any other country.
Luckily I can testify from personal knowledge that women don't need to go back to their family much in this country. There is no reason for them to and no shame attached to their status. After all with our 16 reasons for divorce (as opposed to the 5 crimes that India recognizes - which is one of the reasons there is a stigma to being divorced over there, I imagine) 1 in 2 marriages ends in divorce. That is not to say that women with kids cannot be in trouble after a divorce. There are plenty of deadbeat dads in the US who figure that their kids are out of sight, out of mind.
Jon Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface
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Trollslayer wrote:
I mean arranged marriges with someone they've never met.
A shotgun wedding is an arranged marriage, sometimes with a girl the man only met once. :sigh: PS - I know what you meant. :-D
Simply Elegant Designs JimmyRopes Designs
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well, Thailand's got a new PM, are things settling down?
Jon Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface
Oakman wrote:
Thailand's got a new PM, are things settling down?
Let's hope so. They seemed to have dodgeg a bullet, thanks to the courts, this time. Only time will tell if the mew PM will maintain popular support. He currently has a majority in Parliament which he needs to get anything done. From a Bangkok Post story today: "The Democrat party-led coalition government under prime minister-elect Abhisit Vejjajiva faces a rocky road ahead, even though it has enough support to remain stable. The new government has the support of 235 MPs, and the rival Puea Thai party only 198, according to voting figures in the House yesterday." I spoke to my wife yesterday and where she is, Koh Lanta (an island in the Andaman Sea), things look good. Now that the airports are open the tourists from Europe are arriving and the season is booked solid. I am hoping for things to settle down, but in Thailand I always take a wait and see attitude.
Simply Elegant Designs JimmyRopes Designs
Think inside the box! ProActive Secure Systems
I'm on-line therefore I am. JimmyRopes -
jith - iii wrote:
I don't see any difference here even if she was in any other country.
Luckily I can testify from personal knowledge that women don't need to go back to their family much in this country. There is no reason for them to and no shame attached to their status. After all with our 16 reasons for divorce (as opposed to the 5 crimes that India recognizes - which is one of the reasons there is a stigma to being divorced over there, I imagine) 1 in 2 marriages ends in divorce. That is not to say that women with kids cannot be in trouble after a divorce. There are plenty of deadbeat dads in the US who figure that their kids are out of sight, out of mind.
Jon Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface
Oakman wrote:
There is no reason for them to and no shame attached to their status
Here also it's the same. Now,don't believe if you don't want to believe :) Ging back to parent's may not be the woman's choice. In most cases parents would be the major supporters of the divorce if they are convinced it is a necessitty.
Oakman wrote:
Luckily I can testify from personal knowledge
Then,Can't I testify from my personal knowledge ?
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jith - iii wrote:
I'm not saying India is perfect.
It would appear otherwise. Though, as I have mentioned, you have not cited anything other than your own opinion, to support your thesis.
Jon Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface