Where's Adnan?
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I understand what you meant. Child marriages and baseless divorces are happening mainly amongst muslims. But protests againsts these are happenening inside islam itself. It's just because of lack of education and muslim community in India is realizing that now and we could see many Islamic youth orgnizations active on various human rights issues in islam. But coming to inter religious marriages,all religion are in the same boat.
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jith - iii wrote:
The proof what they show here is the less number of divorces.
Fewer divorces mean that the woman isn't working in a job that can support her. and/Or a legal system tilted towards forcing people to stay together.
Jon Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface
Oakman wrote:
Fewer divorces mean that the woman isn't working in a job that can support her. and/Or a legal system tilted towards forcing people to stay together.
I agree with this statement. In addition, in India and some Asian culture there is a push from the society to not divorce. Being a divorcee is seen as totally bad for your social status. Instead people just have an extra-marital relationship instead.
"A democracy is nothing more than mob rule, where fifty-one percent of the people may take away the rights of the other forty-nine." - Thomas Jefferson "Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote." - Benjamin Franklin Edbert Sydney, Australia
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jith - iii wrote:
Mainly this is because after marriage both man and woman would get absorbed to their family with their children
This does not stop divorces, most divorced couples fight mostly over access to kids, they both still love their kids.
Christian Graus Driven to the arms of OSX by Vista.
Christian Graus wrote:
they both still love their kids
Christian Graus wrote:
most divorced couples fight mostly over access to kids
I don't think one follows from the other. If they both really loved their children, then they wouldn't use them as clubs.
Gary Kirkham Forever Forgiven and Alive in the Spirit "Truly, truly, I say to you, he who hears My word, and believes Him who sent Me, has eternal life, and does not come into judgment, but has passed out of death into life. Me blog, You read
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Nishant Sivakumar wrote:
I don't think that having it happen in India makes it any less of a tragedy.
Unless you're the man. In India they pay you to marry their daughters. The man gets the dowry. :-D
Simply Elegant Designs JimmyRopes Designs
Think inside the box! ProActive Secure Systems
I'm on-line therefore I am. JimmyRopesJimmyRopes wrote:
The man gets the dowry
And spend the rest of his life/marriage paying for it!
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity RAH
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JimmyRopes wrote:
The man gets the dowry
And spend the rest of his life/marriage paying for it!
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity RAH
Mycroft Holmes wrote:
And spend the rest of his life/marriage paying for it!
That is true regardless of if you get the dowry or give the dowry, so it is better if you get one. :doh:
Simply Elegant Designs JimmyRopes Designs
Think inside the box! ProActive Secure Systems
I'm on-line therefore I am. JimmyRopes -
jith - iii wrote:
I dont think we have yet reached the level to accept inter religious marriges
I don't have any issues, neither would I be kicked out of my family, if my partner is from a different religion. So who are we here?
-Suhredayan
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jith - iii wrote:
If your kid has gone with someone ou lost the oppurtunity to feed 2000 relatives.
I'm not sure how you mean.
jith - iii wrote:
Another thing is,Indian soceity never accepts divorces
Well, that's also insane.
jith - iii wrote:
premarital sex,abortion
I would imagine those things are rampant in a society where divorce is not allowed.
jith - iii wrote:
They are afraid of it
As a father of a 12 yo girl, I can say I am scared of these things, too. But, my approach is 100% honesty and open communication. The one thing I want less than for my daughter to make mistakes that lead to her being pregnant, is for her to make those mistakes alone.
jith - iii wrote:
A typical marriage plan will long a minimum of one year where parents collects the biodata of maximum brides/grooms for their kids and chooses the best suited one.
I'm sorry, but that is so creepy/scary to western ears.
Christian Graus Driven to the arms of OSX by Vista.
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Oakman wrote:
Fewer divorces mean that the woman isn't working in a job that can support her. and/Or a legal system tilted towards forcing people to stay together.
I agree with this statement. In addition, in India and some Asian culture there is a push from the society to not divorce. Being a divorcee is seen as totally bad for your social status. Instead people just have an extra-marital relationship instead.
"A democracy is nothing more than mob rule, where fifty-one percent of the people may take away the rights of the other forty-nine." - Thomas Jefferson "Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote." - Benjamin Franklin Edbert Sydney, Australia
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I offered up the alternative of a legal code tilited in favor of forcing couples to stay ogether. In most Western nations, there are approximately 16 distinct reasons for which divorces are granted. In India, however, only five main reasons are generally accepted as sufficient grounds for divorce. On the other hand, according to P. R. Amato, who wrote "The Impact of Divorce on Men and Women in India and The United States," an article in the Journal of Comparative Family Studies, "There is great disparity between the economic ramifications of divorce between men and women. Men remain relatively unaffected while women, especially those with children, have difficulty "providing food, clothing and shelter for themselves and their children." The government in urban areas usually provides some form of public assistance to single mothers, but this service is not fully taken advantage of because most do not know of its existence." "Often a woman is not able to rely on her family for support because many parents "feel they have discharged their obligations to a daughter by arranging her marriage and providing a dowry." Dowries are not returned after a divorce. Also, due to the social stigma of divorce, women find it difficult to remarry and usually attempt to establish an independent household."
Jon Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface
Oakman wrote:
"Often a woman is not able to rely on her family for support because many parents "feel they have discharged their obligations to a daughter by arranging her marriage and providing a dowry."
This is just a piece of fiction. Odd cases might be there. But,generally In India a divorced woman would return back to her parents,if the marriage was initiated by the parents. And divorces are very unlikely to happen within weeks or months. several attempts are done from the family,soceity and even from court to reconcile them.
modified on Monday, December 15, 2008 11:14 AM
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Adnan Siddiqi wrote:
one word, Islamphobia.
What do you have to say about this : "I personally know of a Muslim girl (my sister's classmate) who was in a relationship with a Christian classmate. Her parents threatened to kill the lad, threatened that they'd suicide, confiscated her cell phone and driving license, and even locked her up in a room when she tried to argue with them. Eventually she succumbed and was forced to marry a Muslim lad of her parents' choice." What's Islamophobic about stating an incident that I was personally aware of?
Regards, Nish
Nish’s thoughts on MFC, C++/CLI and .NET (my blog)
My latest book : C++/CLI in Action / Amazon.com linkNishant Sivakumar wrote:
"I personally know of a Muslim girl (my sister's classmate) who was in a relationship with a Christian classmate.
since when do you become an authentic source? it more sounds Nigerian scam mails I often get in name of Mariam Abacha. :rolleyes:
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Oakman wrote:
Fewer divorces mean that the woman isn't working in a job that can support her. and/Or a legal system tilted towards forcing people to stay together.
I agree with this statement. In addition, in India and some Asian culture there is a push from the society to not divorce. Being a divorcee is seen as totally bad for your social status. Instead people just have an extra-marital relationship instead.
"A democracy is nothing more than mob rule, where fifty-one percent of the people may take away the rights of the other forty-nine." - Thomas Jefferson "Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote." - Benjamin Franklin Edbert Sydney, Australia
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Edbert P wrote:
In addition, in India and some Asian culture there is a push from the society to not divorce.
This is true
Edbert P wrote:
Being a divorcee is seen as totally bad for your social status
This is not at all true.
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Oakman wrote:
"Often a woman is not able to rely on her family for support because many parents "feel they have discharged their obligations to a daughter by arranging her marriage and providing a dowry."
This is just a piece of fiction. Odd cases might be there. But,generally In India a divorced woman would return back to her parents,if the marriage was initiated by the parents. And divorces are very unlikely to happen within weeks or months. several attempts are done from the family,soceity and even from court to reconcile them.
modified on Monday, December 15, 2008 11:14 AM
jith - iii wrote:
This is just a piece of fiction
It was a direct quote from an academic in a reputable sociological magazine. I certainly grant that doesn't make it true, but so far, you aren't providing anything but your opinions to counter what seems to be a well-established view of divorce in India.
Jon Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface
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Nishant Sivakumar wrote:
"I personally know of a Muslim girl (my sister's classmate) who was in a relationship with a Christian classmate.
since when do you become an authentic source? it more sounds Nigerian scam mails I often get in name of Mariam Abacha. :rolleyes:
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jith - iii wrote:
This is not at all true.
Not according to what I found on the web. But if you say India is perfect, who am I to argue?
Jon Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface
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I'm not saying India is perfect. Neither I support everything that I put in here as happening in Indian society.
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jith - iii wrote:
This is just a piece of fiction
It was a direct quote from an academic in a reputable sociological magazine. I certainly grant that doesn't make it true, but so far, you aren't providing anything but your opinions to counter what seems to be a well-established view of divorce in India.
Jon Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface
Oakman wrote:
so far, you aren't providing anything but your opinions
:)I live here. Why should I quote some books for explaining the things that is happening infront of me. If you don't belive me,there are lot of Indians roaming around here. Ask them. Nobody will support forcefull marriages against the wish of their children (I don't think that's too common here). Still in some cases people may support the parents for doing so,if they are convinced that the interest of the girl(in most cases) is will ultimately give her only unhappiness. But nowadays, most of the parents will ultimately agree to their children's wish after the initial fuss. But generally Indian public accept arranged marriage despite of the level of education they are having.
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This particular incident happened in Bangladesh, but I am sure incidents like this are very frequent amongst Muslim families in Pakistan and India too. I personally know of a Muslim girl (my sister's classmate) who was in a relationship with a Christian classmate. Her parents threatened to kill the lad, threatened that they'd suicide, confiscated her cell phone and driving license, and even locked her up in a room when she tried to argue with them. Eventually she succumbed and was forced to marry a Muslim lad of her parents' choice. A tragedy really! :sigh:
Regards, Nish
Nish’s thoughts on MFC, C++/CLI and .NET (my blog)
My latest book : C++/CLI in Action / Amazon.com link -
Oakman wrote:
so far, you aren't providing anything but your opinions
:)I live here. Why should I quote some books for explaining the things that is happening infront of me. If you don't belive me,there are lot of Indians roaming around here. Ask them. Nobody will support forcefull marriages against the wish of their children (I don't think that's too common here). Still in some cases people may support the parents for doing so,if they are convinced that the interest of the girl(in most cases) is will ultimately give her only unhappiness. But nowadays, most of the parents will ultimately agree to their children's wish after the initial fuss. But generally Indian public accept arranged marriage despite of the level of education they are having.
jith - iii wrote:
live here
Yes. And I live in the U.S. I would no more presume to talk about country-wide attitudes, customs or mores without having facts to back me up than I would write spaghetti code. I am perfectly willing to learn something new from you, but apparently, all you have are beliefs, not facts. What I read on the web may be wrong, but at least it seems backed up by some research.
Jon Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface
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jith - iii wrote:
live here
Yes. And I live in the U.S. I would no more presume to talk about country-wide attitudes, customs or mores without having facts to back me up than I would write spaghetti code. I am perfectly willing to learn something new from you, but apparently, all you have are beliefs, not facts. What I read on the web may be wrong, but at least it seems backed up by some research.
Jon Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface
Oakman wrote:
all you have are beliefs, not facts
Ok, then let me correct myself. Whatever the society I know is like what I said. Since India is a big country with a huge population,I cannot authentically claim to know the behavior of the entire nation. What i said is from the experiences of my firends,relatives and people I know. Also from the newspapers. Again community and education plays a crucial role here. And the text you quoted may be true if you consider cities where the self esteem of women would not allow her to go back to the family. Even if this is true I don't see any difference here even if she was in any other country. Women or men if they are alone they would definitely have difficulty in raising kids irrespective of the nation he/she belongs to. Ok...I need a sleep...all society has goods and bads....:)
modified on Monday, December 15, 2008 3:08 PM