By popular demand.. [modified]
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The joke I referred to earlier... A woman driver is pulled over by a policeman. "Is there a problem, Officer?" "Yes, madam, you were speeding." "Really?" "May I see your license please?" "I'd give it to you but I don't have one." "Don't have one?" "Nope. Lost it after drunk driving four times." " I see...May I see your vehicle registration papers please?" "Nope. Can't do that either." "Why not?" "Well ... I stole this car." "Stole it?" "Yes, after I killed and dismembered the owner." "You what?" "Lost my temper. It was messy. His body is in a pile of plastic bags in the boot if you want to see." The policeman looks at the woman for a second, then backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes there are more police cars circling them. A police sergeant approaches the car, gripping his half drawn gun. He clears his throat, then calls to her, "Madam, please step out of and away from your vehicle please." She does so. "Is there a problem sir?" "One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner." "Murdered the owner?" "Yes. Could you open the boot of your car please?" She does, and they both look down into a dusty, empty space. "Is this your car, madam?" "Yes. Here are the registration papers." The Sergeant scans through them, and sees that they are in order. "My officer claims that you do not have a driving license." The woman rummages through her bag, then hands her license to the puzzled Sergeant. "Ma'am, my officer told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and dismembered the owner." "I'll bet the lying b*st**d told you I was speeding, too!!"
Weight loss Target Weight at start [1/Feb/2009] 127kg Weight now [30/Sep/2009] 103.7kg Target weight : 80kg Only 23.7 to go hope to be there by March Wish me luck!
modified on Wednesday, September 30, 2009 12:32 PM
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The joke I referred to earlier... A woman driver is pulled over by a policeman. "Is there a problem, Officer?" "Yes, madam, you were speeding." "Really?" "May I see your license please?" "I'd give it to you but I don't have one." "Don't have one?" "Nope. Lost it after drunk driving four times." " I see...May I see your vehicle registration papers please?" "Nope. Can't do that either." "Why not?" "Well ... I stole this car." "Stole it?" "Yes, after I killed and dismembered the owner." "You what?" "Lost my temper. It was messy. His body is in a pile of plastic bags in the boot if you want to see." The policeman looks at the woman for a second, then backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes there are more police cars circling them. A police sergeant approaches the car, gripping his half drawn gun. He clears his throat, then calls to her, "Madam, please step out of and away from your vehicle please." She does so. "Is there a problem sir?" "One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner." "Murdered the owner?" "Yes. Could you open the boot of your car please?" She does, and they both look down into a dusty, empty space. "Is this your car, madam?" "Yes. Here are the registration papers." The Sergeant scans through them, and sees that they are in order. "My officer claims that you do not have a driving license." The woman rummages through her bag, then hands her license to the puzzled Sergeant. "Ma'am, my officer told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and dismembered the owner." "I'll bet the lying b*st**d told you I was speeding, too!!"
Weight loss Target Weight at start [1/Feb/2009] 127kg Weight now [30/Sep/2009] 103.7kg Target weight : 80kg Only 23.7 to go hope to be there by March Wish me luck!
modified on Wednesday, September 30, 2009 12:32 PM
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The joke I referred to earlier... A woman driver is pulled over by a policeman. "Is there a problem, Officer?" "Yes, madam, you were speeding." "Really?" "May I see your license please?" "I'd give it to you but I don't have one." "Don't have one?" "Nope. Lost it after drunk driving four times." " I see...May I see your vehicle registration papers please?" "Nope. Can't do that either." "Why not?" "Well ... I stole this car." "Stole it?" "Yes, after I killed and dismembered the owner." "You what?" "Lost my temper. It was messy. His body is in a pile of plastic bags in the boot if you want to see." The policeman looks at the woman for a second, then backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes there are more police cars circling them. A police sergeant approaches the car, gripping his half drawn gun. He clears his throat, then calls to her, "Madam, please step out of and away from your vehicle please." She does so. "Is there a problem sir?" "One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner." "Murdered the owner?" "Yes. Could you open the boot of your car please?" She does, and they both look down into a dusty, empty space. "Is this your car, madam?" "Yes. Here are the registration papers." The Sergeant scans through them, and sees that they are in order. "My officer claims that you do not have a driving license." The woman rummages through her bag, then hands her license to the puzzled Sergeant. "Ma'am, my officer told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and dismembered the owner." "I'll bet the lying b*st**d told you I was speeding, too!!"
Weight loss Target Weight at start [1/Feb/2009] 127kg Weight now [30/Sep/2009] 103.7kg Target weight : 80kg Only 23.7 to go hope to be there by March Wish me luck!
modified on Wednesday, September 30, 2009 12:32 PM
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hopingToCode wrote:
Weight now [30/Sep/2009] 103.7kg
hopingToCode wrote:
Only 103.7 to go
:omg: So your ultimate aim is to be invisible? :)
That will be heck of a story for weight loss magazines.
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hopingToCode wrote:
Weight now [30/Sep/2009] 103.7kg
hopingToCode wrote:
Only 103.7 to go
:omg: So your ultimate aim is to be invisible? :)
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hopingToCode wrote:
Weight now [30/Sep/2009] 103.7kg
hopingToCode wrote:
Only 103.7 to go
:omg: So your ultimate aim is to be invisible? :)
So you caught the second part of the joke then.. but just in case no one else gets it, I've corrected it!
Weight loss Target Weight at start [1/Feb/2009] 127kg Weight now [30/Sep/2009] 103.7kg Target weight : 80kg Only 23.7 to go hope to be there by March Wish me luck!
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The joke I referred to earlier... A woman driver is pulled over by a policeman. "Is there a problem, Officer?" "Yes, madam, you were speeding." "Really?" "May I see your license please?" "I'd give it to you but I don't have one." "Don't have one?" "Nope. Lost it after drunk driving four times." " I see...May I see your vehicle registration papers please?" "Nope. Can't do that either." "Why not?" "Well ... I stole this car." "Stole it?" "Yes, after I killed and dismembered the owner." "You what?" "Lost my temper. It was messy. His body is in a pile of plastic bags in the boot if you want to see." The policeman looks at the woman for a second, then backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes there are more police cars circling them. A police sergeant approaches the car, gripping his half drawn gun. He clears his throat, then calls to her, "Madam, please step out of and away from your vehicle please." She does so. "Is there a problem sir?" "One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner." "Murdered the owner?" "Yes. Could you open the boot of your car please?" She does, and they both look down into a dusty, empty space. "Is this your car, madam?" "Yes. Here are the registration papers." The Sergeant scans through them, and sees that they are in order. "My officer claims that you do not have a driving license." The woman rummages through her bag, then hands her license to the puzzled Sergeant. "Ma'am, my officer told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and dismembered the owner." "I'll bet the lying b*st**d told you I was speeding, too!!"
Weight loss Target Weight at start [1/Feb/2009] 127kg Weight now [30/Sep/2009] 103.7kg Target weight : 80kg Only 23.7 to go hope to be there by March Wish me luck!
modified on Wednesday, September 30, 2009 12:32 PM
Oldy but a goody Mike
"It doesn't matter how big a ranch ya' own, or how many cows ya' brand, the size of your funeral is still gonna depend on the weather." -Harry Truman.
Semper Fi http://www.hq4thmarinescomm.com[^] My Site
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