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Chuck Norris Facts

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  • J Offline
    J Offline
    Joe Simes
    wrote on last edited by
    #1

    This is probably a re-post but you can never have too many Chuck Norris Facts! :-D http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/[^]

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    • J Joe Simes

      This is probably a re-post but you can never have too many Chuck Norris Facts! :-D http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/[^]

      R Offline
      R Offline
      Rage
      wrote on last edited by
      #2

      By the way, where does this Chuck Norris thing comes from ? Is this some kind of urban running joke that comes from nowhere, or does it have a real origin (besides the fact of Chuck Norris being ... well... Chuck Norris) ?

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      • J Joe Simes

        This is probably a re-post but you can never have too many Chuck Norris Facts! :-D http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/[^]

        S Offline
        S Offline
        soap brain
        wrote on last edited by
        #3

        Chuck Norris is out, man - Carl Gauss[^] is who everyone's talkin' about! :-D

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        • R Rage

          By the way, where does this Chuck Norris thing comes from ? Is this some kind of urban running joke that comes from nowhere, or does it have a real origin (besides the fact of Chuck Norris being ... well... Chuck Norris) ?

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          J Offline
          JimBob SquarePants
          wrote on last edited by
          #4

          Well Wikipedia gives us this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chuck_Norris_Facts[^] Though I remember reading something years ago about it being started by a New Zealand student. Didn't realise Chuck Norris had such a firm stance against evolution though.

          JimBob SquarePants ******************************************************************* "He took everything personally, including our royalties!" David St.Hubbins, Spinal Tap about Ian Faith, their ex-manager *******************************************************************

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          • R Rage

            By the way, where does this Chuck Norris thing comes from ? Is this some kind of urban running joke that comes from nowhere, or does it have a real origin (besides the fact of Chuck Norris being ... well... Chuck Norris) ?

            R Offline
            R Offline
            ragnaroknrol
            wrote on last edited by
            #5

            I think someone was talking about him being a bad ass in an online forum and a joke was made. From there it snowballed and eventually became a standard sort of thing. The formula makes these jokes pretty easy. Step 1, find something where the reversal of the usual process becomes a parody of the process or is humorous because of the outrageousness. Step 2, make Chuck Norris do the reverse. Step 3, add a roundhouse kick if possible. Step 4, if step 2 makes him look like a bad ass, you have a winner. "Chuck Norris talks about Fight Club." Here a popular movie is mocked, and the normal line used as a punchline is reversed with him being shown to be a bad ass. The fact that I have written a serious look into this both worries and alarms me...

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            • J Joe Simes

              This is probably a re-post but you can never have too many Chuck Norris Facts! :-D http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/[^]

              J Offline
              J Offline
              Jim Crafton
              wrote on last edited by
              #6

              "Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise." That's too cute. I wonder if Chuck knows what the periodic table is?

              ¡El diablo está en mis pantalones! ¡Mire, mire! SELECT * FROM User WHERE Clue > 0 0 rows returned Save an Orange - Use the VCF! Personal 3D projects Just Say No to Web 2 Point Blow

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              • J JimBob SquarePants

                Well Wikipedia gives us this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chuck_Norris_Facts[^] Though I remember reading something years ago about it being started by a New Zealand student. Didn't realise Chuck Norris had such a firm stance against evolution though.

                JimBob SquarePants ******************************************************************* "He took everything personally, including our royalties!" David St.Hubbins, Spinal Tap about Ian Faith, their ex-manager *******************************************************************

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                Michael Schubert
                wrote on last edited by
                #7

                JimBob SquarePants wrote:

                Didn't realise Chuck Norris had such a firm stance against evolution though.

                That's because he travelled back in time 6000 years and saw that people were indeed riding on dinosaurs back then, confirming the creationist's theory. :-D

                J 1 Reply Last reply
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                • J Joe Simes

                  This is probably a re-post but you can never have too many Chuck Norris Facts! :-D http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/[^]

                  P Offline
                  P Offline
                  puromtec1
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #8

                  True story (not kidding): My buddy (who is a little different) spoke to Chuck over the phone during a Total Gym ad on QVC. He spoke at length about how he loves his Total Gym and seemed to steal the spot light from both hosts for a good length of time--maybe about five minutes. I wonder had he been in the same room, whether or not a round-house kick would have occured?

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                  • R ragnaroknrol

                    I think someone was talking about him being a bad ass in an online forum and a joke was made. From there it snowballed and eventually became a standard sort of thing. The formula makes these jokes pretty easy. Step 1, find something where the reversal of the usual process becomes a parody of the process or is humorous because of the outrageousness. Step 2, make Chuck Norris do the reverse. Step 3, add a roundhouse kick if possible. Step 4, if step 2 makes him look like a bad ass, you have a winner. "Chuck Norris talks about Fight Club." Here a popular movie is mocked, and the normal line used as a punchline is reversed with him being shown to be a bad ass. The fact that I have written a serious look into this both worries and alarms me...

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                    Russell Jones
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #9

                    My favourite is: When the bogeyman goes to sleep he checks his cupboard for Chuck Norris!

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                    • R Russell Jones

                      My favourite is: When the bogeyman goes to sleep he checks his cupboard for Chuck Norris!

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                      Vikram A Punathambekar
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #10

                      My favourite is: Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

                      Cheers, Vikram. (Cracked not one CCC, but two!)

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                      • J JimBob SquarePants

                        Well Wikipedia gives us this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chuck_Norris_Facts[^] Though I remember reading something years ago about it being started by a New Zealand student. Didn't realise Chuck Norris had such a firm stance against evolution though.

                        JimBob SquarePants ******************************************************************* "He took everything personally, including our royalties!" David St.Hubbins, Spinal Tap about Ian Faith, their ex-manager *******************************************************************

                        R Offline
                        R Offline
                        Russell Jones
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #11

                        Chuck always has a firm stance! Never saw him as a god botherer though.

                        1 Reply Last reply
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                        • M Michael Schubert

                          JimBob SquarePants wrote:

                          Didn't realise Chuck Norris had such a firm stance against evolution though.

                          That's because he travelled back in time 6000 years and saw that people were indeed riding on dinosaurs back then, confirming the creationist's theory. :-D

                          J Offline
                          J Offline
                          JimBob SquarePants
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #12

                          A few Chuck Norris time facts: Once Chuck Norris was so impressed with the power of his roundhouse kick that he neglected to control it, and the resulting tear in the fabric of space-time took him back almost a century and a half. Upon arriving in the 19th century, Chuck was astounded that, given his obvious ability to travel through time, the mortals present hadn't heard of him. In his rage, he began kicking people into the sun, and both the Union and the Confederacy sent armies to stop him. This was the real cause of all the deaths at Gettysburg. After defeating both armies, Chuck Norris used his roundhouse-kicking time travel to journey into the future. Dismayed that he was only considered a demigod by our posterity, he destroyed the future with a series of grunts and glares. This is why no one from the future has come back in time to our present. Despite the fact that his immense kicking prowess had completely obliterated creation itself, Chuck's power was so great that that entropy wouldn't touch him. With a final roundhouse kick, Chuck went back to the nothingness at the beginning of time, and set the universe back in motion with a spinning roundhouse; this was the Big Bang.

                          JimBob SquarePants ******************************************************************* "He took everything personally, including our royalties!" David St.Hubbins, Spinal Tap about Ian Faith, their ex-manager *******************************************************************

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                          • J Jim Crafton

                            "Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise." That's too cute. I wonder if Chuck knows what the periodic table is?

                            ¡El diablo está en mis pantalones! ¡Mire, mire! SELECT * FROM User WHERE Clue > 0 0 rows returned Save an Orange - Use the VCF! Personal 3D projects Just Say No to Web 2 Point Blow

                            W Offline
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                            Wjousts
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #13

                            Seeing how he's a Republican, probably not. Science is socialism!

                            1 Reply Last reply
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                            • V Vikram A Punathambekar

                              My favourite is: Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

                              Cheers, Vikram. (Cracked not one CCC, but two!)

                              R Offline
                              R Offline
                              Rajesh R Subramanian
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #14

                              Mine is: Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. He just decides what time it is.

                              “Follow your bliss.” – Joseph Campbell

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