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  3. I don't care if this is a repost, but let's hear it for Australians...

I don't care if this is a repost, but let's hear it for Australians...

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  • H Henry Minute

    Well, it is, but who cares! Funny stuff bears repetition. :)

    Henry Minute Do not read medical books! You could die of a misprint. - Mark Twain Girl: (staring) "Why do you need an icy cucumber?" “I want to report a fraud. The government is lying to us all.”

    J Offline
    J Offline
    Joe Simes
    wrote on last edited by
    #3

    Henry Minute wrote:

    Funny stuff bears repetition.

    Let's leave my Teddy out of this! :-O

    H R 2 Replies Last reply
    0
    • P Pete OHanlon

      They have a straightforward bluffness that you've gotta love. God bless you Australia: These were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a great sense of humour (not to mention a low tolerance threshold for cretins!) Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia ? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? ( UK ). A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die. __________________________________________________ Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? ( USA ) A:Depends how much you've been drinking. __________________________________________________ Q:I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? ( Sweden) A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water. __________________________________________________ Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia ? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns , Townsville and Hervey Bay ? ( UK) A: What did your last slave die of? __________________________________________________ Q:Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia ? ( USA ) A: A-Fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe . Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not ... Oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked. __________________________________________________ Q:Which direction is North in Australia ? (USA ) A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions. _________________________________________________ Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia ? ( UK ) A:Why? Just use your fingers like we do... __________________________________________________ Q:Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA ) A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is Oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked. __________________________________________________ Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia ? ( UK ) A: You are a British politician, right? __________________________________________________ Q:Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? ( Germany ) A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal. ____________________

      S Offline
      S Offline
      Single Step Debugger
      wrote on last edited by
      #4

      Nice to see this in “Australian” context, so far the host countries were France, SA and India, but the script remaining almost the same.

      The narrow specialist in the broad sense of the word is a complete idiot in the narrow sense of the word. Advertise here – minimum three posts per day are guaranteed.

      P 1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • J Joe Simes

        Henry Minute wrote:

        Funny stuff bears repetition.

        Let's leave my Teddy out of this! :-O

        H Offline
        H Offline
        Henry Minute
        wrote on last edited by
        #5

        I have seen some well filled Teddies in my time. The links below might not be considered KSS, by some. Teddy[^]. Teddies[^]. but for different reasons.

        Henry Minute Do not read medical books! You could die of a misprint. - Mark Twain Girl: (staring) "Why do you need an icy cucumber?" “I want to report a fraud. The government is lying to us all.”

        1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • J Joe Simes

          Henry Minute wrote:

          Funny stuff bears repetition.

          Let's leave my Teddy out of this! :-O

          R Offline
          R Offline
          ragnaroknrol
          wrote on last edited by
          #6

          Joe Simes wrote:

          Let's leave my Teddy out of this!

          What you wear in the privacy of your home is none of our business. Yes, this comment is pandaring for votes. Build a man a fire and he stays warm for a night. Set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life.

          G 1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • S Single Step Debugger

            Nice to see this in “Australian” context, so far the host countries were France, SA and India, but the script remaining almost the same.

            The narrow specialist in the broad sense of the word is a complete idiot in the narrow sense of the word. Advertise here – minimum three posts per day are guaranteed.

            P Offline
            P Offline
            Pete OHanlon
            wrote on last edited by
            #7

            So the French have Drop Bears as well?

            "WPF has many lovers. It's a veritable porn star!" - Josh Smith

            As Braveheart once said, "You can take our freedom but you'll never take our Hobnobs!" - Martin Hughes.

            My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Onyx

            J L L S 4 Replies Last reply
            0
            • P Pete OHanlon

              So the French have Drop Bears as well?

              "WPF has many lovers. It's a veritable porn star!" - Josh Smith

              As Braveheart once said, "You can take our freedom but you'll never take our Hobnobs!" - Martin Hughes.

              My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Onyx

              J Offline
              J Offline
              Jim Crafton
              wrote on last edited by
              #8

              Well they must drop something, bears, trousers, cups. Maybe wine?

              ¡El diablo está en mis pantalones! ¡Mire, mire! SELECT * FROM User WHERE Clue > 0 0 rows returned Save an Orange - Use the VCF! Personal 3D projects Just Say No to Web 2 Point Blow

              G 1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • P Pete OHanlon

                So the French have Drop Bears as well?

                "WPF has many lovers. It's a veritable porn star!" - Josh Smith

                As Braveheart once said, "You can take our freedom but you'll never take our Hobnobs!" - Martin Hughes.

                My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Onyx

                L Offline
                L Offline
                Lost User
                wrote on last edited by
                #9

                No, but strangely enough, the habit of spraying oneself with urine still persists... :laugh:

                D 1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • P Pete OHanlon

                  So the French have Drop Bears as well?

                  "WPF has many lovers. It's a veritable porn star!" - Josh Smith

                  As Braveheart once said, "You can take our freedom but you'll never take our Hobnobs!" - Martin Hughes.

                  My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Onyx

                  L Offline
                  L Offline
                  Luc Pattyn
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #10

                  Nope. Can't be them, they have Carla Bruni. And cutlery. No drop bears. :)

                  Luc Pattyn


                  I only read code that is properly indented, and rendered in a non-proportional font; hint: use PRE tags in forum messages


                  Local announcement (Antwerp region): Lange Wapper? Neen!


                  1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • P Pete OHanlon

                    They have a straightforward bluffness that you've gotta love. God bless you Australia: These were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a great sense of humour (not to mention a low tolerance threshold for cretins!) Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia ? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? ( UK ). A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die. __________________________________________________ Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? ( USA ) A:Depends how much you've been drinking. __________________________________________________ Q:I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? ( Sweden) A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water. __________________________________________________ Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia ? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns , Townsville and Hervey Bay ? ( UK) A: What did your last slave die of? __________________________________________________ Q:Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia ? ( USA ) A: A-Fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe . Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not ... Oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked. __________________________________________________ Q:Which direction is North in Australia ? (USA ) A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions. _________________________________________________ Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia ? ( UK ) A:Why? Just use your fingers like we do... __________________________________________________ Q:Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA ) A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is Oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked. __________________________________________________ Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia ? ( UK ) A: You are a British politician, right? __________________________________________________ Q:Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? ( Germany ) A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal. ____________________

                    S Offline
                    S Offline
                    Shelby Robertson
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #11

                    Pete O'Hanlon wrote:

                    Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA ) A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first

                    I really think its about time to call American "English", just American. The butchery of the languages is really getting intolerable.

                    Ennis Ray Lynch, Jr. wrote:

                    Unpaid overtime is slavery.

                    Trollslayer wrote:

                    Meetings - where minutes are taken and hours are lost.

                    C E 2 Replies Last reply
                    0
                    • P Pete OHanlon

                      They have a straightforward bluffness that you've gotta love. God bless you Australia: These were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a great sense of humour (not to mention a low tolerance threshold for cretins!) Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia ? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? ( UK ). A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die. __________________________________________________ Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? ( USA ) A:Depends how much you've been drinking. __________________________________________________ Q:I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? ( Sweden) A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water. __________________________________________________ Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia ? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns , Townsville and Hervey Bay ? ( UK) A: What did your last slave die of? __________________________________________________ Q:Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia ? ( USA ) A: A-Fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe . Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not ... Oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked. __________________________________________________ Q:Which direction is North in Australia ? (USA ) A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions. _________________________________________________ Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia ? ( UK ) A:Why? Just use your fingers like we do... __________________________________________________ Q:Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA ) A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is Oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked. __________________________________________________ Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia ? ( UK ) A: You are a British politician, right? __________________________________________________ Q:Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? ( Germany ) A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal. ____________________

                      C Offline
                      C Offline
                      Christian Graus
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #12

                      Pete O'Hanlon wrote:

                      A: What did your last slave die of?

                      LOL - I often say to my kids 'when did your last servant die ?'

                      Christian Graus Driven to the arms of OSX by Vista. Read my blog to find out how I've worked around bugs in Microsoft tools and frameworks.

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • S Shelby Robertson

                        Pete O'Hanlon wrote:

                        Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA ) A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first

                        I really think its about time to call American "English", just American. The butchery of the languages is really getting intolerable.

                        Ennis Ray Lynch, Jr. wrote:

                        Unpaid overtime is slavery.

                        Trollslayer wrote:

                        Meetings - where minutes are taken and hours are lost.

                        C Offline
                        C Offline
                        Christian Graus
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #13

                        Unfortunately, through their media, it's becoming predominant.

                        Christian Graus Driven to the arms of OSX by Vista. Read my blog to find out how I've worked around bugs in Microsoft tools and frameworks.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • P Pete OHanlon

                          So the French have Drop Bears as well?

                          "WPF has many lovers. It's a veritable porn star!" - Josh Smith

                          As Braveheart once said, "You can take our freedom but you'll never take our Hobnobs!" - Martin Hughes.

                          My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Onyx

                          S Offline
                          S Offline
                          Single Step Debugger
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #14

                          Pete O'Hanlon wrote:

                          So the French have Drop Bears as well?

                          Have no idea, but you can call some French Tourism Agency and ask them.

                          The narrow specialist in the broad sense of the word is a complete idiot in the narrow sense of the word. Advertise here – minimum three posts per day are guaranteed.

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • L Lost User

                            No, but strangely enough, the habit of spraying oneself with urine still persists... :laugh:

                            D Offline
                            D Offline
                            Douglas Troy
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #15

                            So that's what the French perfumes mean by Eau De Toilette ... :rolleyes:


                            :..::. Douglas H. Troy ::..
                            Bad Astronomy |VCF|wxWidgets|WTL

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • P Pete OHanlon

                              They have a straightforward bluffness that you've gotta love. God bless you Australia: These were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a great sense of humour (not to mention a low tolerance threshold for cretins!) Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia ? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? ( UK ). A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die. __________________________________________________ Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? ( USA ) A:Depends how much you've been drinking. __________________________________________________ Q:I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? ( Sweden) A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water. __________________________________________________ Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia ? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns , Townsville and Hervey Bay ? ( UK) A: What did your last slave die of? __________________________________________________ Q:Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia ? ( USA ) A: A-Fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe . Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not ... Oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked. __________________________________________________ Q:Which direction is North in Australia ? (USA ) A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions. _________________________________________________ Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia ? ( UK ) A:Why? Just use your fingers like we do... __________________________________________________ Q:Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA ) A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is Oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked. __________________________________________________ Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia ? ( UK ) A: You are a British politician, right? __________________________________________________ Q:Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? ( Germany ) A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal. ____________________

                              L Offline
                              L Offline
                              leJuan
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #16

                              ok ... now that is funny ... i have to endure the same type of questions when my international friends visit me in canada

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • P Pete OHanlon

                                They have a straightforward bluffness that you've gotta love. God bless you Australia: These were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a great sense of humour (not to mention a low tolerance threshold for cretins!) Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia ? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? ( UK ). A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die. __________________________________________________ Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? ( USA ) A:Depends how much you've been drinking. __________________________________________________ Q:I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? ( Sweden) A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water. __________________________________________________ Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia ? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns , Townsville and Hervey Bay ? ( UK) A: What did your last slave die of? __________________________________________________ Q:Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia ? ( USA ) A: A-Fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe . Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not ... Oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked. __________________________________________________ Q:Which direction is North in Australia ? (USA ) A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions. _________________________________________________ Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia ? ( UK ) A:Why? Just use your fingers like we do... __________________________________________________ Q:Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA ) A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is Oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked. __________________________________________________ Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia ? ( UK ) A: You are a British politician, right? __________________________________________________ Q:Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? ( Germany ) A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal. ____________________

                                B Offline
                                B Offline
                                Brady Kelly
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #17

                                Old as the hills, and is built off a template with variable names for countries and towns. :)

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • S Shelby Robertson

                                  Pete O'Hanlon wrote:

                                  Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA ) A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first

                                  I really think its about time to call American "English", just American. The butchery of the languages is really getting intolerable.

                                  Ennis Ray Lynch, Jr. wrote:

                                  Unpaid overtime is slavery.

                                  Trollslayer wrote:

                                  Meetings - where minutes are taken and hours are lost.

                                  E Offline
                                  E Offline
                                  Ennis Ray Lynch Jr
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #18

                                  I suppose this makes me a noted author :P

                                  Need custom software developed? I do custom programming based primarily on MS tools with an emphasis on C# development and consulting. A man said to the universe: "Sir I exist!" "However," replied the universe, "The fact has not created in me A sense of obligation." --Stephen Crane

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • R ragnaroknrol

                                    Joe Simes wrote:

                                    Let's leave my Teddy out of this!

                                    What you wear in the privacy of your home is none of our business. Yes, this comment is pandaring for votes. Build a man a fire and he stays warm for a night. Set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life.

                                    G Offline
                                    G Offline
                                    Gary R Wheeler
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #19

                                    Bearing our souls here, are we?

                                    Software Zen: delete this;
                                    Fold With Us![^]

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • J Jim Crafton

                                      Well they must drop something, bears, trousers, cups. Maybe wine?

                                      ¡El diablo está en mis pantalones! ¡Mire, mire! SELECT * FROM User WHERE Clue > 0 0 rows returned Save an Orange - Use the VCF! Personal 3D projects Just Say No to Web 2 Point Blow

                                      G Offline
                                      G Offline
                                      Gary R Wheeler
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #20

                                      Rifles.

                                      Software Zen: delete this;
                                      Fold With Us![^]

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • P Pete OHanlon

                                        They have a straightforward bluffness that you've gotta love. God bless you Australia: These were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a great sense of humour (not to mention a low tolerance threshold for cretins!) Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia ? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? ( UK ). A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die. __________________________________________________ Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? ( USA ) A:Depends how much you've been drinking. __________________________________________________ Q:I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? ( Sweden) A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water. __________________________________________________ Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia ? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns , Townsville and Hervey Bay ? ( UK) A: What did your last slave die of? __________________________________________________ Q:Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia ? ( USA ) A: A-Fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe . Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not ... Oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked. __________________________________________________ Q:Which direction is North in Australia ? (USA ) A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions. _________________________________________________ Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia ? ( UK ) A:Why? Just use your fingers like we do... __________________________________________________ Q:Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA ) A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is Oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked. __________________________________________________ Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia ? ( UK ) A: You are a British politician, right? __________________________________________________ Q:Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? ( Germany ) A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal. ____________________

                                        realJSOPR Offline
                                        realJSOPR Offline
                                        realJSOP
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #21

                                        The hippo races thing was hilarious.

                                        .45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly
                                        -----
                                        "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass..." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
                                        -----
                                        "The staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - J. Jystad, 2001

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