A Murder is Announced.
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Worse! He is the Managing Director! And I didn't let him, he came poking around at lunchtime, when the elves had gone out to play.
------------------------------------ In science, 'fact' can only mean 'confirmed to such a degree that it would be perverse to withhold provisional assent.' I suppose that apples might start to rise tomorrow, but the possibility does not merit equal time in physics classrooms. Stephen J Gould
"Windows Key" + L (locks your machine) is your friend. Don't leave your desk without using it.
Simply Elegant Designs JimmyRopes Designs
Think inside the box! ProActive Secure Systems
I'm on-line therefore I am. JimmyRopes -
Tomorrow morning I will take great delight in Spiflicating my boss. It is nearly 9.00pm and I am just in the door. Let me tell you why... The correct procedure when a pop-up appears informing you that there are 34 viruses and trojans on your PC and that if you 'Click Here' you will load the software to eradicate them, is to say no thanks and get the hell off my system! Not if you are my MD. If you are he, and are aware that you know nothing about computers, and that there is someone up the corridor who does know something about them, then obviously the correct thing to do is click yes and screw up a computer. Not just any computer, but the PC that is the shared drive for a LAN, and has all the data on it. When a few minutes later he comes to my office and says there are strange things on the screen and he can't access the internet or his mail I suspect the worst. A trip down the corridor confirms my worst suspicions. I first of all try removing it, no dice. I do a system restore, no good either. OK, I do a full back up of all the important files (takes ages), and start tinkering. Meanwhile no-one can get out into internet land, so after half an hour I power down, remove the whole box from the LAN and at least the others can get out. Nothing for it, but Re-install XP, run updates, reload office and put back all the data files, re-establish the box on the LAN, set up all the emails & stuff. All the while I do Muttley Muttering under my breath and concoct weird and painful ways of exacting my revenge. I am going to chop his fingers off for starters. Why were there pop-ups? Because he saw a notification at the top of the screen saying that a pop-up had been blocked and he wanted to know what he was missing. So, for 7 hours I have been fixing this, and finally I am home, to some freshly cooked lasagne and a Very Large Gin and Tonic!!!!
------------------------------------ In science, 'fact' can only mean 'confirmed to such a degree that it would be perverse to withhold provisional assent.' I suppose that apples might start to rise tomorrow, but the possibility does not merit equal time in physics classrooms. Stephen J Gould
This is why the FSM allowed men to invent tools like TrueImage[^] and hourly backups.
And above all things, never think that you're not good enough yourself. A man should never think that. My belief is that in life people will take you at your own reckoning. --Isaac Asimov Avoid the crowd. Do your own thinking independently. Be the chess player, not the chess piece. --Ralph Charell
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Worse! He is the Managing Director! And I didn't let him, he came poking around at lunchtime, when the elves had gone out to play.
------------------------------------ In science, 'fact' can only mean 'confirmed to such a degree that it would be perverse to withhold provisional assent.' I suppose that apples might start to rise tomorrow, but the possibility does not merit equal time in physics classrooms. Stephen J Gould
Dalek Dave wrote:
And I didn't let him, he came poking around at lunchtime, when the elves had gone out to play.
Sounds really dirty! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Cheers, Vikram. (Cracked not one CCC, but two!)
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Tomorrow morning I will take great delight in Spiflicating my boss. It is nearly 9.00pm and I am just in the door. Let me tell you why... The correct procedure when a pop-up appears informing you that there are 34 viruses and trojans on your PC and that if you 'Click Here' you will load the software to eradicate them, is to say no thanks and get the hell off my system! Not if you are my MD. If you are he, and are aware that you know nothing about computers, and that there is someone up the corridor who does know something about them, then obviously the correct thing to do is click yes and screw up a computer. Not just any computer, but the PC that is the shared drive for a LAN, and has all the data on it. When a few minutes later he comes to my office and says there are strange things on the screen and he can't access the internet or his mail I suspect the worst. A trip down the corridor confirms my worst suspicions. I first of all try removing it, no dice. I do a system restore, no good either. OK, I do a full back up of all the important files (takes ages), and start tinkering. Meanwhile no-one can get out into internet land, so after half an hour I power down, remove the whole box from the LAN and at least the others can get out. Nothing for it, but Re-install XP, run updates, reload office and put back all the data files, re-establish the box on the LAN, set up all the emails & stuff. All the while I do Muttley Muttering under my breath and concoct weird and painful ways of exacting my revenge. I am going to chop his fingers off for starters. Why were there pop-ups? Because he saw a notification at the top of the screen saying that a pop-up had been blocked and he wanted to know what he was missing. So, for 7 hours I have been fixing this, and finally I am home, to some freshly cooked lasagne and a Very Large Gin and Tonic!!!!
------------------------------------ In science, 'fact' can only mean 'confirmed to such a degree that it would be perverse to withhold provisional assent.' I suppose that apples might start to rise tomorrow, but the possibility does not merit equal time in physics classrooms. Stephen J Gould
Why wait until home for the G&T?
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Tomorrow morning I will take great delight in Spiflicating my boss. It is nearly 9.00pm and I am just in the door. Let me tell you why... The correct procedure when a pop-up appears informing you that there are 34 viruses and trojans on your PC and that if you 'Click Here' you will load the software to eradicate them, is to say no thanks and get the hell off my system! Not if you are my MD. If you are he, and are aware that you know nothing about computers, and that there is someone up the corridor who does know something about them, then obviously the correct thing to do is click yes and screw up a computer. Not just any computer, but the PC that is the shared drive for a LAN, and has all the data on it. When a few minutes later he comes to my office and says there are strange things on the screen and he can't access the internet or his mail I suspect the worst. A trip down the corridor confirms my worst suspicions. I first of all try removing it, no dice. I do a system restore, no good either. OK, I do a full back up of all the important files (takes ages), and start tinkering. Meanwhile no-one can get out into internet land, so after half an hour I power down, remove the whole box from the LAN and at least the others can get out. Nothing for it, but Re-install XP, run updates, reload office and put back all the data files, re-establish the box on the LAN, set up all the emails & stuff. All the while I do Muttley Muttering under my breath and concoct weird and painful ways of exacting my revenge. I am going to chop his fingers off for starters. Why were there pop-ups? Because he saw a notification at the top of the screen saying that a pop-up had been blocked and he wanted to know what he was missing. So, for 7 hours I have been fixing this, and finally I am home, to some freshly cooked lasagne and a Very Large Gin and Tonic!!!!
------------------------------------ In science, 'fact' can only mean 'confirmed to such a degree that it would be perverse to withhold provisional assent.' I suppose that apples might start to rise tomorrow, but the possibility does not merit equal time in physics classrooms. Stephen J Gould
A few requests: Please do arrange a live video feed for all others to learn from... Do make it a point to teach him a lesson after u chop one finger at a time And in the end, make sure that u chop one finger off urs too... coz, u left ur machine unlocked. and the most interesting fact, it was this MD who recruited u... :) :laugh:
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Tomorrow morning I will take great delight in Spiflicating my boss. It is nearly 9.00pm and I am just in the door. Let me tell you why... The correct procedure when a pop-up appears informing you that there are 34 viruses and trojans on your PC and that if you 'Click Here' you will load the software to eradicate them, is to say no thanks and get the hell off my system! Not if you are my MD. If you are he, and are aware that you know nothing about computers, and that there is someone up the corridor who does know something about them, then obviously the correct thing to do is click yes and screw up a computer. Not just any computer, but the PC that is the shared drive for a LAN, and has all the data on it. When a few minutes later he comes to my office and says there are strange things on the screen and he can't access the internet or his mail I suspect the worst. A trip down the corridor confirms my worst suspicions. I first of all try removing it, no dice. I do a system restore, no good either. OK, I do a full back up of all the important files (takes ages), and start tinkering. Meanwhile no-one can get out into internet land, so after half an hour I power down, remove the whole box from the LAN and at least the others can get out. Nothing for it, but Re-install XP, run updates, reload office and put back all the data files, re-establish the box on the LAN, set up all the emails & stuff. All the while I do Muttley Muttering under my breath and concoct weird and painful ways of exacting my revenge. I am going to chop his fingers off for starters. Why were there pop-ups? Because he saw a notification at the top of the screen saying that a pop-up had been blocked and he wanted to know what he was missing. So, for 7 hours I have been fixing this, and finally I am home, to some freshly cooked lasagne and a Very Large Gin and Tonic!!!!
------------------------------------ In science, 'fact' can only mean 'confirmed to such a degree that it would be perverse to withhold provisional assent.' I suppose that apples might start to rise tomorrow, but the possibility does not merit equal time in physics classrooms. Stephen J Gould
So if you are doing all the work then what the elves are doing?
If you fail to plan, you plan to fail! Books are as useful to a stupid person as a mirror is useful to a blind person. - Chanakya
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So if you are doing all the work then what the elves are doing?
If you fail to plan, you plan to fail! Books are as useful to a stupid person as a mirror is useful to a blind person. - Chanakya
My Elves are secretarial and accounts clerks, I am an accountant (Although my title, for what it is worth, is Accounts Office and Administration Manager, it means I am responsible for cleaning up behind people when they screw up), the tech side is something I fell into because I am the only one who knows a lot about it. So you see, my Elves would be of very little help. (I mean in a technical situation; they are very good at their normal jobs, esp after I give each of them some specialist training in differant aspects of accounts and admin practise)
------------------------------------ In science, 'fact' can only mean 'confirmed to such a degree that it would be perverse to withhold provisional assent.' I suppose that apples might start to rise tomorrow, but the possibility does not merit equal time in physics classrooms. Stephen J Gould
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Everyone who has normal access to them understands, I have trained them that way! This buffoon is the MD, and I deliberately did not put a PC on his desk because he does not know Jack Shit about them. He has a macbook, (therein lies a tale), and that is all he should use so that he can get his emails. He went into the main office and started poking around on it at lunchtime because his mac was in the car and he couldn't be arsed to go and get it. I have given him a bollocking and told him never to touch my computers again!
------------------------------------ In science, 'fact' can only mean 'confirmed to such a degree that it would be perverse to withhold provisional assent.' I suppose that apples might start to rise tomorrow, but the possibility does not merit equal time in physics classrooms. Stephen J Gould
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My Elves are secretarial and accounts clerks, I am an accountant (Although my title, for what it is worth, is Accounts Office and Administration Manager, it means I am responsible for cleaning up behind people when they screw up), the tech side is something I fell into because I am the only one who knows a lot about it. So you see, my Elves would be of very little help. (I mean in a technical situation; they are very good at their normal jobs, esp after I give each of them some specialist training in differant aspects of accounts and admin practise)
------------------------------------ In science, 'fact' can only mean 'confirmed to such a degree that it would be perverse to withhold provisional assent.' I suppose that apples might start to rise tomorrow, but the possibility does not merit equal time in physics classrooms. Stephen J Gould
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Tomorrow morning I will take great delight in Spiflicating my boss. It is nearly 9.00pm and I am just in the door. Let me tell you why... The correct procedure when a pop-up appears informing you that there are 34 viruses and trojans on your PC and that if you 'Click Here' you will load the software to eradicate them, is to say no thanks and get the hell off my system! Not if you are my MD. If you are he, and are aware that you know nothing about computers, and that there is someone up the corridor who does know something about them, then obviously the correct thing to do is click yes and screw up a computer. Not just any computer, but the PC that is the shared drive for a LAN, and has all the data on it. When a few minutes later he comes to my office and says there are strange things on the screen and he can't access the internet or his mail I suspect the worst. A trip down the corridor confirms my worst suspicions. I first of all try removing it, no dice. I do a system restore, no good either. OK, I do a full back up of all the important files (takes ages), and start tinkering. Meanwhile no-one can get out into internet land, so after half an hour I power down, remove the whole box from the LAN and at least the others can get out. Nothing for it, but Re-install XP, run updates, reload office and put back all the data files, re-establish the box on the LAN, set up all the emails & stuff. All the while I do Muttley Muttering under my breath and concoct weird and painful ways of exacting my revenge. I am going to chop his fingers off for starters. Why were there pop-ups? Because he saw a notification at the top of the screen saying that a pop-up had been blocked and he wanted to know what he was missing. So, for 7 hours I have been fixing this, and finally I am home, to some freshly cooked lasagne and a Very Large Gin and Tonic!!!!
------------------------------------ In science, 'fact' can only mean 'confirmed to such a degree that it would be perverse to withhold provisional assent.' I suppose that apples might start to rise tomorrow, but the possibility does not merit equal time in physics classrooms. Stephen J Gould
Look up the definition of MD: http://www.freebsd.org/doc/en/books/arch-handbook/smp-glossary.html ;P
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Dalek Dave wrote:
I have given him a bollocking and told him never to touch my computers again!
Is he your MD or you are his MD.... lmao
I claim the Bones McCoy Rule. Kirk is Captain, but Bones can overrule him on medical matters. I am the Dr McCoy of the PC's!
------------------------------------ In science, 'fact' can only mean 'confirmed to such a degree that it would be perverse to withhold provisional assent.' I suppose that apples might start to rise tomorrow, but the possibility does not merit equal time in physics classrooms. Stephen J Gould
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Do you make them wear those cute ickle green hats with bells on? :rolleyes:
Join the cool kids - Come fold with us[^]
I wouldn't dare ask! But they do know I refer to them as the Elves, so who knows?
------------------------------------ In science, 'fact' can only mean 'confirmed to such a degree that it would be perverse to withhold provisional assent.' I suppose that apples might start to rise tomorrow, but the possibility does not merit equal time in physics classrooms. Stephen J Gould
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Look up the definition of MD: http://www.freebsd.org/doc/en/books/arch-handbook/smp-glossary.html ;P
Irony! :)
------------------------------------ In science, 'fact' can only mean 'confirmed to such a degree that it would be perverse to withhold provisional assent.' I suppose that apples might start to rise tomorrow, but the possibility does not merit equal time in physics classrooms. Stephen J Gould
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Dalek Dave wrote:
All the while I do Muttley Muttering under my breath and concoct weird and painful ways of exacting my revenge.
The late, great Hunter Thompson was an advocate of castration with a plastic fork. Something to consider. :-D
Trephination[^] with a plastic spork[^].
Software Zen:
delete this; -
I wouldn't dare ask! But they do know I refer to them as the Elves, so who knows?
------------------------------------ In science, 'fact' can only mean 'confirmed to such a degree that it would be perverse to withhold provisional assent.' I suppose that apples might start to rise tomorrow, but the possibility does not merit equal time in physics classrooms. Stephen J Gould
You are one funny creature :)