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JOTD

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  • S SachinBhave

    A Marketing Manager got married to a woman who had previously been married eight times. On his wedding night, his wife informed him that she was still a virgin. This was her explanation: * My first husband was a sales representative who spent our entire marriage telling me, in grandiose terms, "It's gonna be great"! * My second husband was from software services; he was never quite sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he would send me the documentation. * My third husband was an accountant. His comments were that he knew how, but he just wasn't sure whether or not it was his job. * My fourth husband was a teacher, and he simply said, "Those who can...do; those who can't...teach". * My fifth husband was an engineer. He told me that he understood the basic process but needed three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method. * My sixth husband was a psychiatrist and all he ever wanted to do was talk about it. * My seventh husband was a help-desk coordinator and he kept teaching me how to do it myself. * My eighth husband was in technical support, and he kept saying, "Don't worry, it'll be up any minute now." The wife said sweetly to her new husband, "Now I am married to you, a man of marketing". The husband looked at his wife and simply said, "I know I have the product, I'm just not sure how to position it".

    P Offline
    P Offline
    peterchen
    wrote on last edited by
    #5

    more like a JOTLC

    Personally, I love the idea that Raymond spends his nights posting bad regexs to mailing lists under the pseudonym of Jane Smith. He'd be like a super hero, only more nerdy and less useful. [Trevel]
    | FoldWithUs! | sighist | µLaunch - program launcher for server core and hyper-v server

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    • A AspDotNetDev

      I just got this joke a while back in an email. I'm pretty sure you botched it. There was supposed to be an actual punchline at the end. The ending you present is really just like the other 8 husbands, and so nothing new is presented by the ending. That's pretty much required for this joke to work. Oh, look, I found it. I'll paste it here:

      A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband to "Please be gentle; I'm still a Virgin".

      "What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

      "Well, husband #1 was a Sales Representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

      "Husband # 2 was in Software Services; he was never really sure how it was supposed to function; but he said he'd look into it and get back with me.

      "Husband # 3 was from Field Services; he said that everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

      "Husband # 4 was in Telemarketing; even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

      "Husband # 5 was an Engineer, he understood the basic process but he wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state of the-art method.

      "Husband #6 was from Administration; he thought he knew how but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

      "Husband # 7 was in Marketing; although he had a product, he was never sure how to position it...

      "Husband # 8 was a Psychiatrist; all he did was talk about it.

      "Husband # 9 was a Gynecologist; all he did was look at it.

      "Husband # 10 was a Stamp Collector; all he ever did was lick it..... God I miss him.

      " But now that I've married you, I'm so excited".

      "Wonderful", said the husband, "but why?

      "You're with the
      "GOVERNMENT"
      This time I KNOW I'M gonna get screwed."

      Visual Studio is an excellent GUIIDE.

      S Offline
      S Offline
      SachinBhave
      wrote on last edited by
      #6

      ohh...actually I got it from an email too...but I got only upto what I posted...

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      • S SachinBhave

        ohh...actually I got it from an email too...but I got only upto what I posted...

        A Offline
        A Offline
        AspDotNetDev
        wrote on last edited by
        #7

        Probably just a little Friday the 13th bad luck.

        Visual Studio is an excellent GUIIDE.

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        • S SachinBhave

          ohh...actually I got it from an email too...but I got only upto what I posted...

          M Offline
          M Offline
          Mycroft Holmes
          wrote on last edited by
          #8

          You need to go back to the VB forum and refresh your cut and paste skills. i can see it now - How do I highlight the entire message :laugh::laugh::laugh:

          S 1 Reply Last reply
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          • M Mycroft Holmes

            You need to go back to the VB forum and refresh your cut and paste skills. i can see it now - How do I highlight the entire message :laugh::laugh::laugh:

            S Offline
            S Offline
            SachinBhave
            wrote on last edited by
            #9

            Nah...I said I 'got' upto what I posted....could not get it beyond that ;P

            A 1 Reply Last reply
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            • R Rajesh R Subramanian

              Not even mildly funny. Or may be I'm just lacking humour. :|

              “Follow your bliss.” – Joseph Campbell

              S Offline
              S Offline
              SachinBhave
              wrote on last edited by
              #10

              Rajesh R Subramanian wrote:

              lacking humour

              I would say we are at different level :)

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              • S SachinBhave

                Nah...I said I 'got' upto what I posted....could not get it beyond that ;P

                A Offline
                A Offline
                AspDotNetDev
                wrote on last edited by
                #11

                Ah, run out of room on the mouse pad? Happens to me ALL the time. ;P

                Visual Studio is an excellent GUIIDE.

                Z 1 Reply Last reply
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                • A AspDotNetDev

                  I just got this joke a while back in an email. I'm pretty sure you botched it. There was supposed to be an actual punchline at the end. The ending you present is really just like the other 8 husbands, and so nothing new is presented by the ending. That's pretty much required for this joke to work. Oh, look, I found it. I'll paste it here:

                  A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband to "Please be gentle; I'm still a Virgin".

                  "What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

                  "Well, husband #1 was a Sales Representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

                  "Husband # 2 was in Software Services; he was never really sure how it was supposed to function; but he said he'd look into it and get back with me.

                  "Husband # 3 was from Field Services; he said that everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

                  "Husband # 4 was in Telemarketing; even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

                  "Husband # 5 was an Engineer, he understood the basic process but he wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state of the-art method.

                  "Husband #6 was from Administration; he thought he knew how but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

                  "Husband # 7 was in Marketing; although he had a product, he was never sure how to position it...

                  "Husband # 8 was a Psychiatrist; all he did was talk about it.

                  "Husband # 9 was a Gynecologist; all he did was look at it.

                  "Husband # 10 was a Stamp Collector; all he ever did was lick it..... God I miss him.

                  " But now that I've married you, I'm so excited".

                  "Wonderful", said the husband, "but why?

                  "You're with the
                  "GOVERNMENT"
                  This time I KNOW I'M gonna get screwed."

                  Visual Studio is an excellent GUIIDE.

                  C Offline
                  C Offline
                  Cedric Moonen
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #12

                  :laugh: Much better than the one that was posted earlier.

                  Cédric Moonen Software developer
                  Charting control [v2.0] OpenGL game tutorial in C++

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                  • P peterchen

                    more like a JOTLC

                    Personally, I love the idea that Raymond spends his nights posting bad regexs to mailing lists under the pseudonym of Jane Smith. He'd be like a super hero, only more nerdy and less useful. [Trevel]
                    | FoldWithUs! | sighist | µLaunch - program launcher for server core and hyper-v server

                    X Offline
                    X Offline
                    Xmen Real
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #13

                    elaborate it :laugh:

                    TVMU^P[[IGIOQHG^JSH`A#@`RFJ\c^JPL>;"[,*/|+&WLEZGc`AFXc!L %^]*IRXD#@GKCQ`R\^SF_WcHbORY87֦ʻ6ϣN8ȤBcRAV\Z^&SU~%CSWQ@#2 W_AD`EPABIKRDFVS)EVLQK)JKQUFK[M`UKs*$GwU#QDXBER@CBN% R0~53%eYrd8mt^7Z6]iTF+(EWfJ9zaK-i’TV.C\y<pŠjxsg-b$f4ia>

                    ----------------------------------------------- 128 bit encrypted signature, crack if you can

                    P 1 Reply Last reply
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                    • X Xmen Real

                      elaborate it :laugh:

                      TVMU^P[[IGIOQHG^JSH`A#@`RFJ\c^JPL>;"[,*/|+&WLEZGc`AFXc!L %^]*IRXD#@GKCQ`R\^SF_WcHbORY87֦ʻ6ϣN8ȤBcRAV\Z^&SU~%CSWQ@#2 W_AD`EPABIKRDFVS)EVLQK)JKQUFK[M`UKs*$GwU#QDXBER@CBN% R0~53%eYrd8mt^7Z6]iTF+(EWfJ9zaK-i’TV.C\y<pŠjxsg-b$f4ia>

                      ----------------------------------------------- 128 bit encrypted signature, crack if you can

                      P Offline
                      P Offline
                      peterchen
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #14

                      Joke of the Last Century (as opposed to "Joke of the day")

                      Personally, I love the idea that Raymond spends his nights posting bad regexs to mailing lists under the pseudonym of Jane Smith. He'd be like a super hero, only more nerdy and less useful. [Trevel]
                      | FoldWithUs! | sighist | µLaunch - program launcher for server core and hyper-v server

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                      • A AspDotNetDev

                        Ah, run out of room on the mouse pad? Happens to me ALL the time. ;P

                        Visual Studio is an excellent GUIIDE.

                        Z Offline
                        Z Offline
                        Zhat
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #15

                        Turn it sideways...the pad, not the mouse. :laugh:

                        A 1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • Z Zhat

                          Turn it sideways...the pad, not the mouse. :laugh:

                          A Offline
                          A Offline
                          AspDotNetDev
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #16

                          *epiphany* Wait a second... if I turn the mouse 180 degrees, I can then move it upward to make the mouse move downward on the screen. If I undo that rotation when I reach the top of the pad and repeat as necessary, I have a mouse pad that is unlimited in virtual size! :laugh:

                          Visual Studio is an excellent GUIIDE.

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