The English language
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I recieved this in my message box the other day, and with this being a multilingual group all using english, I thought this would fit here. Enjoy :-D Reasons why the English language is so hard to learn: 1) The bandage was wound around the wound. 2) The farm was used to produce produce. 3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse. 4) We must polish the Polish furniture. 5) He could lead if he would get the lead out. 6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert. 7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present. 8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum. 9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes. 10) I did not object to the object. 11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid. 12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row. 13) They were too close to the door to close it. 14) The buck does funny things when the does are present. 15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line. 16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow. 17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail. 18) After a number of injections my jaw got number. 19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear. 20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests. 21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend? Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by
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I recieved this in my message box the other day, and with this being a multilingual group all using english, I thought this would fit here. Enjoy :-D Reasons why the English language is so hard to learn: 1) The bandage was wound around the wound. 2) The farm was used to produce produce. 3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse. 4) We must polish the Polish furniture. 5) He could lead if he would get the lead out. 6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert. 7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present. 8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum. 9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes. 10) I did not object to the object. 11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid. 12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row. 13) They were too close to the door to close it. 14) The buck does funny things when the does are present. 15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line. 16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow. 17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail. 18) After a number of injections my jaw got number. 19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear. 20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests. 21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend? Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by
But what about these: "Slim chance" and "fat chance" mean the same thing "Laughter" and "daughter" are identical in spelling after the first letter, but they sound completely different when spoken aloud. On a similar note, you can "laugh", but you can't "daugh". To, too, and two There, they're, and their Sea, see If we have ate, late, grate, slate, and gate, why isn't "weight" spelled "wate"? Is it because of "wait"? And what about "bait"? We have boon, coon, goon, swoon, moon, noon, spoon, loon, and spitoon, but then we have tune, rune, and dune We have "repair", but the object was never paired to begin with.
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But what about these: "Slim chance" and "fat chance" mean the same thing "Laughter" and "daughter" are identical in spelling after the first letter, but they sound completely different when spoken aloud. On a similar note, you can "laugh", but you can't "daugh". To, too, and two There, they're, and their Sea, see If we have ate, late, grate, slate, and gate, why isn't "weight" spelled "wate"? Is it because of "wait"? And what about "bait"? We have boon, coon, goon, swoon, moon, noon, spoon, loon, and spitoon, but then we have tune, rune, and dune We have "repair", but the object was never paired to begin with.
Totally agreed, our language has strange and mysterious ways. BTW - the thing with toon/tune is than 'tune' (at least where I live :)) is pronounced 'tewne', where 'toon' has the oo sound. I guess that's why they don't spell my name Androo :rolleyes:. cheers, Andrew (without an 'o').
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Totally agreed, our language has strange and mysterious ways. BTW - the thing with toon/tune is than 'tune' (at least where I live :)) is pronounced 'tewne', where 'toon' has the oo sound. I guess that's why they don't spell my name Androo :rolleyes:. cheers, Andrew (without an 'o').
I like chopping a tree down and then chopping it up :-D Liam Senior Test Engineer GLI Australia www.gli.com.au
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Totally agreed, our language has strange and mysterious ways. BTW - the thing with toon/tune is than 'tune' (at least where I live :)) is pronounced 'tewne', where 'toon' has the oo sound. I guess that's why they don't spell my name Androo :rolleyes:. cheers, Andrew (without an 'o').
If we are going to get into different accents:rolleyes: man we're in trouble We once had an English guy come work for us, it took me a couple of weeks before I could easily understand what he was saying:-O , and we were both talking english. same thing with the kiwi who worked for us. --- Multitasking: Screwing up several things at once.
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If we are going to get into different accents:rolleyes: man we're in trouble We once had an English guy come work for us, it took me a couple of weeks before I could easily understand what he was saying:-O , and we were both talking english. same thing with the kiwi who worked for us. --- Multitasking: Screwing up several things at once.
I bet the English guy had trouble understanding you aswell:) Try working in Scotland, or with a broad Scot, and then you will have great trouble understanding a single word!
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I bet the English guy had trouble understanding you aswell:) Try working in Scotland, or with a broad Scot, and then you will have great trouble understanding a single word!
This is a joke (Italian Accent) One day I'ma gonna Malta to a bigga hotel. Ina da morning, I go to eat breakfast. I tella da waitress I wanna two pissis toast. She brings me one piss. I tella her I want to piss. She says go to the toilet. I say you no understand. I wanna to piss onna my plate. She says you better not piss onna plate, you sonna ma bitch. Later I go to eat ata da bigga restaurant. The waitress brings me a spoon and a knife but no fock. I tella her I wanna fock. She tella me everyone wanna fock. I tella her you no understand. I wanna fock on the table. She say better not fock on the table, you sonna ma bitch. I don't even know the lady and she calla me sonna ma bitch! So I go to my room inna da hotel and there is no sheit onna my bed. I calla the manager and tella him I wanna sheit. He tella me go to the toilet. I say you no understand. I wanna sheit on my bed. He say you better not sheit onna bed, you sonna ma bitch. I don't even knowa disa man, too, and he calla me a sonna ma bitch! I go to the checkout and the man at the desk say: "Peace on you." I say, "Piss on you too, you sonna ma bitch. I goinna back to Italy!" :-D
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I recieved this in my message box the other day, and with this being a multilingual group all using english, I thought this would fit here. Enjoy :-D Reasons why the English language is so hard to learn: 1) The bandage was wound around the wound. 2) The farm was used to produce produce. 3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse. 4) We must polish the Polish furniture. 5) He could lead if he would get the lead out. 6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert. 7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present. 8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum. 9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes. 10) I did not object to the object. 11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid. 12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row. 13) They were too close to the door to close it. 14) The buck does funny things when the does are present. 15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line. 16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow. 17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail. 18) After a number of injections my jaw got number. 19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear. 20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests. 21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend? Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by
> Multitasking: Screwing up several things at once. Are you a codebug.com customer? :) Tomasz Sowinski -- http://www.shooltz.com.pl
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I bet the English guy had trouble understanding you aswell:) Try working in Scotland, or with a broad Scot, and then you will have great trouble understanding a single word!
Yeh, but at least we're not a bunch of effeminate fairies!! If you can't understand us, TOUGH!!! :-) Works a treat with a client when he just sits there and grins inanely -then signs on the dotted line! Minimum functionality ye ken!!! Stravaiger Le gach deagh dhurachd
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Yeh, but at least we're not a bunch of effeminate fairies!! If you can't understand us, TOUGH!!! :-) Works a treat with a client when he just sits there and grins inanely -then signs on the dotted line! Minimum functionality ye ken!!! Stravaiger Le gach deagh dhurachd
Yeh, but at least we're not a bunch of effeminate fairies!! Yes but at least we don't wear tartan skirts!!! ;P
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I recieved this in my message box the other day, and with this being a multilingual group all using english, I thought this would fit here. Enjoy :-D Reasons why the English language is so hard to learn: 1) The bandage was wound around the wound. 2) The farm was used to produce produce. 3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse. 4) We must polish the Polish furniture. 5) He could lead if he would get the lead out. 6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert. 7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present. 8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum. 9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes. 10) I did not object to the object. 11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid. 12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row. 13) They were too close to the door to close it. 14) The buck does funny things when the does are present. 15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line. 16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow. 17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail. 18) After a number of injections my jaw got number. 19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear. 20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests. 21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend? Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by
A gem : "ghoti" is pronounced as "fish" "gh" as in "enough" "o" as in "women" "ti" as in "nation" This is by G. B. Shaw Be happy that you're not trying to learn/speak german. In german, lots of things are, well, strange. There are three genders, male, female and neuter. ("Der Mann", "Die Frau" and "Das Telephon" meaning "the (male) man", "the (female) woman" and "the (neuter) telephone") Male persons are male. Female persons are female, most of the time. The german word for girl is "Das Mädchen". Thus "the (neuter) girl". When talking about animals, the terms are even stranger: "Das Männchen" would be "the (neuter) male" and "Das Weibchen" would be "the (neuter) female" Animals do know how to reproduce in germany, though. "Das Mädchen" is strange in another way. The suffix "-chen" is a diminuitive. The non-diminuitive form of "Mädchen" would be "Made", which is a maggot. Fortunately most germans are completely unaware of this, so reproduction does work. Sometimes gender is swapped. The moon is male ("Der Mond"), the sun is female ("Die Sonne"). In italian it's vice vera ("la luna" and "il sole"). Try to get your hands on Mark Twain's "The awful german language". A closer view would be difficult to obtain. By the way, I'm a native speaking german ...
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Yeh, but at least we're not a bunch of effeminate fairies!! Yes but at least we don't wear tartan skirts!!! ;P
have to wear skirts - troosers get soaked in the blood when we dance on yon English heads :-) Stravaiger Le gach deagh dhurachd
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But what about these: "Slim chance" and "fat chance" mean the same thing "Laughter" and "daughter" are identical in spelling after the first letter, but they sound completely different when spoken aloud. On a similar note, you can "laugh", but you can't "daugh". To, too, and two There, they're, and their Sea, see If we have ate, late, grate, slate, and gate, why isn't "weight" spelled "wate"? Is it because of "wait"? And what about "bait"? We have boon, coon, goon, swoon, moon, noon, spoon, loon, and spitoon, but then we have tune, rune, and dune We have "repair", but the object was never paired to begin with.
We have "repair", but the object was never paired to begin with. I love this stuff... :) Just as "disintegrate" is the opposite of "integrate", I would bet that historically, "repair" meant "re pair": to bring back together with its missing part. On a slightly different note, my wife and I have a lot of fun with the fact that I pronounce "frog" as if it was spelled "frahg" (i'm from the north-east US, maybe NYC or Boston rubbed off on me) while she pronounces it "fraug" (she being from the midwest). -c ------------------------------ Smaller Animals Software, Inc. http://www.smalleranimals.com
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Yeh, but at least we're not a bunch of effeminate fairies!! Yes but at least we don't wear tartan skirts!!! ;P
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If we are going to get into different accents:rolleyes: man we're in trouble We once had an English guy come work for us, it took me a couple of weeks before I could easily understand what he was saying:-O , and we were both talking english. same thing with the kiwi who worked for us. --- Multitasking: Screwing up several things at once.
I don't know why American English is so wierd, their way of pronunication is completly different from that of British English.Anways, Americans killed English by all means. Visual Basic programmer. -------------------------------------------------- Share your thoughts..
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This is a joke (Italian Accent) One day I'ma gonna Malta to a bigga hotel. Ina da morning, I go to eat breakfast. I tella da waitress I wanna two pissis toast. She brings me one piss. I tella her I want to piss. She says go to the toilet. I say you no understand. I wanna to piss onna my plate. She says you better not piss onna plate, you sonna ma bitch. Later I go to eat ata da bigga restaurant. The waitress brings me a spoon and a knife but no fock. I tella her I wanna fock. She tella me everyone wanna fock. I tella her you no understand. I wanna fock on the table. She say better not fock on the table, you sonna ma bitch. I don't even know the lady and she calla me sonna ma bitch! So I go to my room inna da hotel and there is no sheit onna my bed. I calla the manager and tella him I wanna sheit. He tella me go to the toilet. I say you no understand. I wanna sheit on my bed. He say you better not sheit onna bed, you sonna ma bitch. I don't even knowa disa man, too, and he calla me a sonna ma bitch! I go to the checkout and the man at the desk say: "Peace on you." I say, "Piss on you too, you sonna ma bitch. I goinna back to Italy!" :-D
:-D Love it! :-D
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I don't know why American English is so wierd, their way of pronunication is completly different from that of British English.Anways, Americans killed English by all means. Visual Basic programmer. -------------------------------------------------- Share your thoughts..
I guess it's what you're used to... but if you take two people who speak English perfectly, (i.e., news anchors), I'd rather listen to, and I would understand better, the American guy over the British guy. Also, American English seems more relaxed and easy to speak, whereas British English seems tougher to articulate as far as mouth and tongue movements go. Take a word like "computer": in American it's pronounced, well, "computer" :); in British, it's "computtah". This is all opinion, so please don't take it personal. :rose:
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I recieved this in my message box the other day, and with this being a multilingual group all using english, I thought this would fit here. Enjoy :-D Reasons why the English language is so hard to learn: 1) The bandage was wound around the wound. 2) The farm was used to produce produce. 3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse. 4) We must polish the Polish furniture. 5) He could lead if he would get the lead out. 6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert. 7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present. 8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum. 9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes. 10) I did not object to the object. 11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid. 12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row. 13) They were too close to the door to close it. 14) The buck does funny things when the does are present. 15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line. 16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow. 17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail. 18) After a number of injections my jaw got number. 19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear. 20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests. 21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend? Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by
Great post, thanks! :-D
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Totally agreed, our language has strange and mysterious ways. BTW - the thing with toon/tune is than 'tune' (at least where I live :)) is pronounced 'tewne', where 'toon' has the oo sound. I guess that's why they don't spell my name Androo :rolleyes:. cheers, Andrew (without an 'o').
Yes, our language is very wierd. Though, its the easiest language I have yet learned, besides HTML. :)
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I guess it's what you're used to... but if you take two people who speak English perfectly, (i.e., news anchors), I'd rather listen to, and I would understand better, the American guy over the British guy. Also, American English seems more relaxed and easy to speak, whereas British English seems tougher to articulate as far as mouth and tongue movements go. Take a word like "computer": in American it's pronounced, well, "computer" :); in British, it's "computtah". This is all opinion, so please don't take it personal. :rose:
>people who speak English perfectly, (i.e., news anchors) I've generally found that news anchors (at least here in the states) tend to be morons parroting the teleprompter. I didn't see any to change my mind when I was in England. Now give me some Hong Kong BBC honeys and who cares what the news is! -John