WH Letter concerning Taliban prisoners
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The White House 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Washington, DC Dear Concerned Citizen Thank you for your recent letter roundly criticizing our treatment of the Taliban and Al Qaeda detainees currently being held at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. My administration takes these matters seriously, and your opinion was heard and heeded here in Washington. You will be please to learn that, thanks to the concerns of citizens like you, I will be announcing today the creation of a new division of the Terrorist Retraining Program, to be called “Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers,” or LARK. In accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we have decided to place one Al Qaeda terrorist under your personal care. Your very own personal terrorist detainee has already been selected and will be arriving at your home under heavy armed guard next Monday. His name is Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud, but you can just call him Ahmed. He is to be cared for pursuant to the standards you personally demanded in your letter of admonishment to my office. It will likely be necessary for you to hire some assistant caretakers. We will conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your standards of care for Ahmed are commensurate with those standards you so strongly recommended in your letter. Ahmed’s meal requirements are simple, but we strongly suggest serving meals that do not require utensils, particularly knives and forks. Also, these should be “one-handed” foods; Ahmed will not eat with his left hand since he uses that hand to wipe himself after purging his bowels (which he will do in your yard). But look on the bright side .. no increased toilet paper expenses. Ahmed generally bathes quarterly with the change of seasons, assuming that it rains, and he washes his clothes simultaneously. This should help with your water bill. Also, your own personal detainee has a terribly bad case of body lice that we have been unable to completely remedy. Please heed the large orange notice attached to your detainee’s portable cage: “Does not play well with others.” Although Ahmed is a sociopath and extremely violent, we hope that your liberal sensitivity to what you described as his “attitudinal problem” will help him overcome these antisocial character flaws. Perhaps you are correct in describing these problems as mere cultural differences. Ahmed will, given a chance, bit you. We have included a copy of his latest rabies test, which showed negative results. We understand that you plan to offer counseling and home
It's a little well racist or whatever to call it, ain't it? But otherwise funny. Cheers Martin "Situation normal - all fu***d up" Illuminatus!
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It's a little well racist or whatever to call it, ain't it? But otherwise funny. Cheers Martin "Situation normal - all fu***d up" Illuminatus!
Martin Häsemeyer wrote: It's a little well racist or whatever to call it, ain't it? but not as racist as blowing up a nightclub because you don't approve of pop music ;-) Michael "I've died for a living in the movies and tv. But the hardest thing I'll ever do is watch my leading ladies, Kiss some other guy while I'm bandaging my knee." -- The Unknown Stuntman
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Martin Häsemeyer wrote: It's a little well racist or whatever to call it, ain't it? but not as racist as blowing up a nightclub because you don't approve of pop music ;-) Michael "I've died for a living in the movies and tv. But the hardest thing I'll ever do is watch my leading ladies, Kiss some other guy while I'm bandaging my knee." -- The Unknown Stuntman
:) "Situation normal - all fu***d up" Illuminatus!
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The White House 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Washington, DC Dear Concerned Citizen Thank you for your recent letter roundly criticizing our treatment of the Taliban and Al Qaeda detainees currently being held at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. My administration takes these matters seriously, and your opinion was heard and heeded here in Washington. You will be please to learn that, thanks to the concerns of citizens like you, I will be announcing today the creation of a new division of the Terrorist Retraining Program, to be called “Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers,” or LARK. In accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we have decided to place one Al Qaeda terrorist under your personal care. Your very own personal terrorist detainee has already been selected and will be arriving at your home under heavy armed guard next Monday. His name is Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud, but you can just call him Ahmed. He is to be cared for pursuant to the standards you personally demanded in your letter of admonishment to my office. It will likely be necessary for you to hire some assistant caretakers. We will conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your standards of care for Ahmed are commensurate with those standards you so strongly recommended in your letter. Ahmed’s meal requirements are simple, but we strongly suggest serving meals that do not require utensils, particularly knives and forks. Also, these should be “one-handed” foods; Ahmed will not eat with his left hand since he uses that hand to wipe himself after purging his bowels (which he will do in your yard). But look on the bright side .. no increased toilet paper expenses. Ahmed generally bathes quarterly with the change of seasons, assuming that it rains, and he washes his clothes simultaneously. This should help with your water bill. Also, your own personal detainee has a terribly bad case of body lice that we have been unable to completely remedy. Please heed the large orange notice attached to your detainee’s portable cage: “Does not play well with others.” Although Ahmed is a sociopath and extremely violent, we hope that your liberal sensitivity to what you described as his “attitudinal problem” will help him overcome these antisocial character flaws. Perhaps you are correct in describing these problems as mere cultural differences. Ahmed will, given a chance, bit you. We have included a copy of his latest rabies test, which showed negative results. We understand that you plan to offer counseling and home
:) -c
Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life. -- George Bernard Shaw
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The White House 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Washington, DC Dear Concerned Citizen Thank you for your recent letter roundly criticizing our treatment of the Taliban and Al Qaeda detainees currently being held at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. My administration takes these matters seriously, and your opinion was heard and heeded here in Washington. You will be please to learn that, thanks to the concerns of citizens like you, I will be announcing today the creation of a new division of the Terrorist Retraining Program, to be called “Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers,” or LARK. In accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we have decided to place one Al Qaeda terrorist under your personal care. Your very own personal terrorist detainee has already been selected and will be arriving at your home under heavy armed guard next Monday. His name is Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud, but you can just call him Ahmed. He is to be cared for pursuant to the standards you personally demanded in your letter of admonishment to my office. It will likely be necessary for you to hire some assistant caretakers. We will conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your standards of care for Ahmed are commensurate with those standards you so strongly recommended in your letter. Ahmed’s meal requirements are simple, but we strongly suggest serving meals that do not require utensils, particularly knives and forks. Also, these should be “one-handed” foods; Ahmed will not eat with his left hand since he uses that hand to wipe himself after purging his bowels (which he will do in your yard). But look on the bright side .. no increased toilet paper expenses. Ahmed generally bathes quarterly with the change of seasons, assuming that it rains, and he washes his clothes simultaneously. This should help with your water bill. Also, your own personal detainee has a terribly bad case of body lice that we have been unable to completely remedy. Please heed the large orange notice attached to your detainee’s portable cage: “Does not play well with others.” Although Ahmed is a sociopath and extremely violent, we hope that your liberal sensitivity to what you described as his “attitudinal problem” will help him overcome these antisocial character flaws. Perhaps you are correct in describing these problems as mere cultural differences. Ahmed will, given a chance, bit you. We have included a copy of his latest rabies test, which showed negative results. We understand that you plan to offer counseling and home
:laugh: That's good stuff. :laugh: BW The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to talk, mad to live, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding. - Jack Kerouac
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The White House 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Washington, DC Dear Concerned Citizen Thank you for your recent letter roundly criticizing our treatment of the Taliban and Al Qaeda detainees currently being held at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. My administration takes these matters seriously, and your opinion was heard and heeded here in Washington. You will be please to learn that, thanks to the concerns of citizens like you, I will be announcing today the creation of a new division of the Terrorist Retraining Program, to be called “Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers,” or LARK. In accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we have decided to place one Al Qaeda terrorist under your personal care. Your very own personal terrorist detainee has already been selected and will be arriving at your home under heavy armed guard next Monday. His name is Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud, but you can just call him Ahmed. He is to be cared for pursuant to the standards you personally demanded in your letter of admonishment to my office. It will likely be necessary for you to hire some assistant caretakers. We will conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your standards of care for Ahmed are commensurate with those standards you so strongly recommended in your letter. Ahmed’s meal requirements are simple, but we strongly suggest serving meals that do not require utensils, particularly knives and forks. Also, these should be “one-handed” foods; Ahmed will not eat with his left hand since he uses that hand to wipe himself after purging his bowels (which he will do in your yard). But look on the bright side .. no increased toilet paper expenses. Ahmed generally bathes quarterly with the change of seasons, assuming that it rains, and he washes his clothes simultaneously. This should help with your water bill. Also, your own personal detainee has a terribly bad case of body lice that we have been unable to completely remedy. Please heed the large orange notice attached to your detainee’s portable cage: “Does not play well with others.” Although Ahmed is a sociopath and extremely violent, we hope that your liberal sensitivity to what you described as his “attitudinal problem” will help him overcome these antisocial character flaws. Perhaps you are correct in describing these problems as mere cultural differences. Ahmed will, given a chance, bit you. We have included a copy of his latest rabies test, which showed negative results. We understand that you plan to offer counseling and home
LOL! :laugh:
Help! I'm an AI running around in someone's f*cked up universe simulator. - Marc Clifton
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The White House 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Washington, DC Dear Concerned Citizen Thank you for your recent letter roundly criticizing our treatment of the Taliban and Al Qaeda detainees currently being held at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. My administration takes these matters seriously, and your opinion was heard and heeded here in Washington. You will be please to learn that, thanks to the concerns of citizens like you, I will be announcing today the creation of a new division of the Terrorist Retraining Program, to be called “Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers,” or LARK. In accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we have decided to place one Al Qaeda terrorist under your personal care. Your very own personal terrorist detainee has already been selected and will be arriving at your home under heavy armed guard next Monday. His name is Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud, but you can just call him Ahmed. He is to be cared for pursuant to the standards you personally demanded in your letter of admonishment to my office. It will likely be necessary for you to hire some assistant caretakers. We will conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your standards of care for Ahmed are commensurate with those standards you so strongly recommended in your letter. Ahmed’s meal requirements are simple, but we strongly suggest serving meals that do not require utensils, particularly knives and forks. Also, these should be “one-handed” foods; Ahmed will not eat with his left hand since he uses that hand to wipe himself after purging his bowels (which he will do in your yard). But look on the bright side .. no increased toilet paper expenses. Ahmed generally bathes quarterly with the change of seasons, assuming that it rains, and he washes his clothes simultaneously. This should help with your water bill. Also, your own personal detainee has a terribly bad case of body lice that we have been unable to completely remedy. Please heed the large orange notice attached to your detainee’s portable cage: “Does not play well with others.” Although Ahmed is a sociopath and extremely violent, we hope that your liberal sensitivity to what you described as his “attitudinal problem” will help him overcome these antisocial character flaws. Perhaps you are correct in describing these problems as mere cultural differences. Ahmed will, given a chance, bit you. We have included a copy of his latest rabies test, which showed negative results. We understand that you plan to offer counseling and home
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The White House 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Washington, DC Dear Concerned Citizen Thank you for your recent letter roundly criticizing our treatment of the Taliban and Al Qaeda detainees currently being held at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. My administration takes these matters seriously, and your opinion was heard and heeded here in Washington. You will be please to learn that, thanks to the concerns of citizens like you, I will be announcing today the creation of a new division of the Terrorist Retraining Program, to be called “Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers,” or LARK. In accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we have decided to place one Al Qaeda terrorist under your personal care. Your very own personal terrorist detainee has already been selected and will be arriving at your home under heavy armed guard next Monday. His name is Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud, but you can just call him Ahmed. He is to be cared for pursuant to the standards you personally demanded in your letter of admonishment to my office. It will likely be necessary for you to hire some assistant caretakers. We will conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your standards of care for Ahmed are commensurate with those standards you so strongly recommended in your letter. Ahmed’s meal requirements are simple, but we strongly suggest serving meals that do not require utensils, particularly knives and forks. Also, these should be “one-handed” foods; Ahmed will not eat with his left hand since he uses that hand to wipe himself after purging his bowels (which he will do in your yard). But look on the bright side .. no increased toilet paper expenses. Ahmed generally bathes quarterly with the change of seasons, assuming that it rains, and he washes his clothes simultaneously. This should help with your water bill. Also, your own personal detainee has a terribly bad case of body lice that we have been unable to completely remedy. Please heed the large orange notice attached to your detainee’s portable cage: “Does not play well with others.” Although Ahmed is a sociopath and extremely violent, we hope that your liberal sensitivity to what you described as his “attitudinal problem” will help him overcome these antisocial character flaws. Perhaps you are correct in describing these problems as mere cultural differences. Ahmed will, given a chance, bit you. We have included a copy of his latest rabies test, which showed negative results. We understand that you plan to offer counseling and home
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The White House 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Washington, DC Dear Concerned Citizen Thank you for your recent letter roundly criticizing our treatment of the Taliban and Al Qaeda detainees currently being held at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. My administration takes these matters seriously, and your opinion was heard and heeded here in Washington. You will be please to learn that, thanks to the concerns of citizens like you, I will be announcing today the creation of a new division of the Terrorist Retraining Program, to be called “Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers,” or LARK. In accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we have decided to place one Al Qaeda terrorist under your personal care. Your very own personal terrorist detainee has already been selected and will be arriving at your home under heavy armed guard next Monday. His name is Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud, but you can just call him Ahmed. He is to be cared for pursuant to the standards you personally demanded in your letter of admonishment to my office. It will likely be necessary for you to hire some assistant caretakers. We will conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your standards of care for Ahmed are commensurate with those standards you so strongly recommended in your letter. Ahmed’s meal requirements are simple, but we strongly suggest serving meals that do not require utensils, particularly knives and forks. Also, these should be “one-handed” foods; Ahmed will not eat with his left hand since he uses that hand to wipe himself after purging his bowels (which he will do in your yard). But look on the bright side .. no increased toilet paper expenses. Ahmed generally bathes quarterly with the change of seasons, assuming that it rains, and he washes his clothes simultaneously. This should help with your water bill. Also, your own personal detainee has a terribly bad case of body lice that we have been unable to completely remedy. Please heed the large orange notice attached to your detainee’s portable cage: “Does not play well with others.” Although Ahmed is a sociopath and extremely violent, we hope that your liberal sensitivity to what you described as his “attitudinal problem” will help him overcome these antisocial character flaws. Perhaps you are correct in describing these problems as mere cultural differences. Ahmed will, given a chance, bit you. We have included a copy of his latest rabies test, which showed negative results. We understand that you plan to offer counseling and home
Chris Hambleton wrote: Ahmed will not eat with his left hand since he uses that hand to wipe himself after purging his bowels I thought this is in a different culture. Watch out, while mocking the taliban, you might offend one of your closest allies. But you don't care or you can afford to, I guess.
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ROFL! :laugh: Anna :rose: "Be yourself - not what others think you should be"
- Marcia GraeschWTF are you laughing at This is very racist You would not like it if I started writing about freaks like you.
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WTF are you laughing at This is very racist You would not like it if I started writing about freaks like you.
How is this racist?? Is the Taliban or Al Qaeda a race? No, they're a religious sect of Islam... Criticizing a group of people with common religious beliefs/practices is NOT racism -- criticizing a group of people based on their skin color IS... "If at any time I announce that a nation or kingdom is to be uprooted, torn down and destroyed, and if that nation I warned repents of its evil, then I will relent and not inflict on it the disaster I had planned. And if at another time I announce that a nation or kingdom is to be built up and planted, and if it does evil in my sight and does not obey me, then I will reconsider the good I had intended to do for it." -- Jeremiah 18:7-10 (God, commenting on the value of the United Nations)
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WTF are you laughing at This is very racist You would not like it if I started writing about freaks like you.
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WTF are you laughing at This is very racist You would not like it if I started writing about freaks like you.
'Tis a parody my friend, and should be treated as such Anyone who knows me at all well will tell you I'm one of the most "bleeding heart liberals" (in US-speak) out there. I'd laugh the same if it was a "10 transsexuals went into this bar..." type joke. ;P Anna :rose: "Be yourself - not what others think you should be"
- Marcia Graesch -
WTF are you laughing at This is very racist You would not like it if I started writing about freaks like you.
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ROFLMAO Chris Hambleton wrote: Oh – and rest assured that Ahmed absolutely loves animals, especially cats and dogs. Roasted will be fine, but dog-kabob works perfectly well. I watched that video where the bastards test their chemical weapons on that dog. I wonder what they did with the remains ;-) Michael "I've died for a living in the movies and tv. But the hardest thing I'll ever do is watch my leading ladies, Kiss some other guy while I'm bandaging my knee." -- The Unknown Stuntman
Michael P Butler wrote: I watched that video where the bastards test their chemical weapons on that dog. I laughed at the article but really Michael, calling what those bastards did to that dog bad and then buying a bottle of Oil Of Oley! (Mexican knock off version) for your wife is just hypocritical... There was such outrage at that video... but it happens right in peoples backyards all over the world. * Yeah you guessed it, got an "Animal rights" flyer pushed through my window this morning, nearly made me drive off the road when I saw the sick pictures they use
Paul Watson
Bluegrass
Cape Town, South Africa -
The White House 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Washington, DC Dear Concerned Citizen Thank you for your recent letter roundly criticizing our treatment of the Taliban and Al Qaeda detainees currently being held at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. My administration takes these matters seriously, and your opinion was heard and heeded here in Washington. You will be please to learn that, thanks to the concerns of citizens like you, I will be announcing today the creation of a new division of the Terrorist Retraining Program, to be called “Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers,” or LARK. In accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we have decided to place one Al Qaeda terrorist under your personal care. Your very own personal terrorist detainee has already been selected and will be arriving at your home under heavy armed guard next Monday. His name is Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud, but you can just call him Ahmed. He is to be cared for pursuant to the standards you personally demanded in your letter of admonishment to my office. It will likely be necessary for you to hire some assistant caretakers. We will conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your standards of care for Ahmed are commensurate with those standards you so strongly recommended in your letter. Ahmed’s meal requirements are simple, but we strongly suggest serving meals that do not require utensils, particularly knives and forks. Also, these should be “one-handed” foods; Ahmed will not eat with his left hand since he uses that hand to wipe himself after purging his bowels (which he will do in your yard). But look on the bright side .. no increased toilet paper expenses. Ahmed generally bathes quarterly with the change of seasons, assuming that it rains, and he washes his clothes simultaneously. This should help with your water bill. Also, your own personal detainee has a terribly bad case of body lice that we have been unable to completely remedy. Please heed the large orange notice attached to your detainee’s portable cage: “Does not play well with others.” Although Ahmed is a sociopath and extremely violent, we hope that your liberal sensitivity to what you described as his “attitudinal problem” will help him overcome these antisocial character flaws. Perhaps you are correct in describing these problems as mere cultural differences. Ahmed will, given a chance, bit you. We have included a copy of his latest rabies test, which showed negative results. We understand that you plan to offer counseling and home
It's a very racist letter. :( Vagif Abilov MCP (Visual C++) Oslo, Norway Hex is for sissies. Real men use binary. And the most hardcore types use only zeros - uppercase zeros and lowercase zeros. Tomasz Sowinski
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The White House 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Washington, DC Dear Concerned Citizen Thank you for your recent letter roundly criticizing our treatment of the Taliban and Al Qaeda detainees currently being held at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. My administration takes these matters seriously, and your opinion was heard and heeded here in Washington. You will be please to learn that, thanks to the concerns of citizens like you, I will be announcing today the creation of a new division of the Terrorist Retraining Program, to be called “Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers,” or LARK. In accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we have decided to place one Al Qaeda terrorist under your personal care. Your very own personal terrorist detainee has already been selected and will be arriving at your home under heavy armed guard next Monday. His name is Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud, but you can just call him Ahmed. He is to be cared for pursuant to the standards you personally demanded in your letter of admonishment to my office. It will likely be necessary for you to hire some assistant caretakers. We will conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your standards of care for Ahmed are commensurate with those standards you so strongly recommended in your letter. Ahmed’s meal requirements are simple, but we strongly suggest serving meals that do not require utensils, particularly knives and forks. Also, these should be “one-handed” foods; Ahmed will not eat with his left hand since he uses that hand to wipe himself after purging his bowels (which he will do in your yard). But look on the bright side .. no increased toilet paper expenses. Ahmed generally bathes quarterly with the change of seasons, assuming that it rains, and he washes his clothes simultaneously. This should help with your water bill. Also, your own personal detainee has a terribly bad case of body lice that we have been unable to completely remedy. Please heed the large orange notice attached to your detainee’s portable cage: “Does not play well with others.” Although Ahmed is a sociopath and extremely violent, we hope that your liberal sensitivity to what you described as his “attitudinal problem” will help him overcome these antisocial character flaws. Perhaps you are correct in describing these problems as mere cultural differences. Ahmed will, given a chance, bit you. We have included a copy of his latest rabies test, which showed negative results. We understand that you plan to offer counseling and home
Chris Hambleton wrote: Very truly yours :laugh::laugh::laugh: Good one Chris. I think that it would be even better if the daft "Aaaaarabs eat dddaaawwggs" bits were taken out though, nothing to attack in it then. (and frankly the letter is more scornful of ignorant liberal Americans than the terrorists) Chris Hambleton wrote: so you may wish to keep those items locked up, unless (in your opinion) this might offend him That is definitley the best bit. "Oh no worries Ahmed, I will just pop down to Feds to get you that bag of fertiliser and HTH, oh and feel free to use my hunting rifle if you get bored." :rolleyes:
Paul Watson
Bluegrass
Cape Town, South Africa -
John Smith wrote: WTF are you laughing at Well, I laughed at the idea of liberals being asked to care for terrorists. :laugh: Kevin
Kevin Glover wrote: Well, I laughed at the idea of liberals being asked to care for terrorists. Yeeehaw, kill two birds with one stone. (ugh and if anyone takes this seriously and gets offended then remove that carrot for the good of mankind ok?)
Paul Watson
Bluegrass
Cape Town, South Africa -
It's a very racist letter. :( Vagif Abilov MCP (Visual C++) Oslo, Norway Hex is for sissies. Real men use binary. And the most hardcore types use only zeros - uppercase zeros and lowercase zeros. Tomasz Sowinski
Vagif Abilov wrote: It's a very racist letter. Come on Vagif, lighten up. You got blinded by the stupid "Ayraabs eat dawgs" rubbish and missed the whole "you dumbass, ignorant, sons of liberal bleeding-heart idiots" point of the letter. Just ignore the silly bits and have a good laugh at liberal Americans. Anyway it is not racist, it is religiouscist.. or something :-D SMILE! LAUGH! Poke some fun, it is nearly Friday.
Paul Watson
Bluegrass
Cape Town, South Africa -
WTF are you laughing at This is very racist You would not like it if I started writing about freaks like you.