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  3. How is anybody this thick.

How is anybody this thick.

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved The Lounge
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  • D Offline
    D Offline
    Dalek Dave
    wrote on last edited by
    #1

    My MD has just come into my office with his new phone saying he can't get it to work. He has put in the SIM card and charged it like it says in the manual, but it seems to be broken, could I get it sent back to the supplier for one that works. "OK", say I , for I am a helpful chap, and take the phone from him. I press the red button and hold for 3 seconds. Lo, and behold, it lights up, and is working perfectly well. "Oh you fixed it!" he says. "No" I say, "I merely switched it on!". This man is 59 and had a mobile phone for donkeys, how did he not know this?

    ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave

    4 A L R A 12 Replies Last reply
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    • D Dalek Dave

      My MD has just come into my office with his new phone saying he can't get it to work. He has put in the SIM card and charged it like it says in the manual, but it seems to be broken, could I get it sent back to the supplier for one that works. "OK", say I , for I am a helpful chap, and take the phone from him. I press the red button and hold for 3 seconds. Lo, and behold, it lights up, and is working perfectly well. "Oh you fixed it!" he says. "No" I say, "I merely switched it on!". This man is 59 and had a mobile phone for donkeys, how did he not know this?

      ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave

      4 Offline
      4 Offline
      4277480
      wrote on last edited by
      #2

      lol dont even remind me hahaha my grand father (RIP) never even touched a computer so one day I wanted to teach him the basics.... so I told him in order to close a program you take the mouse and place it on the x and click it once... guess what he did loooool he lifted the mouse and actually placed it on the x too bad if he was alive that would've worked :laugh:

      T 1 Reply Last reply
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      • D Dalek Dave

        My MD has just come into my office with his new phone saying he can't get it to work. He has put in the SIM card and charged it like it says in the manual, but it seems to be broken, could I get it sent back to the supplier for one that works. "OK", say I , for I am a helpful chap, and take the phone from him. I press the red button and hold for 3 seconds. Lo, and behold, it lights up, and is working perfectly well. "Oh you fixed it!" he says. "No" I say, "I merely switched it on!". This man is 59 and had a mobile phone for donkeys, how did he not know this?

        ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave

        A Offline
        A Offline
        AspDotNetDev
        wrote on last edited by
        #3

        I once brought my phone to Best Buy to return it because it wasn't working. I too did not hold the on button long enough. :-O That was my first phone when I was in my teens or early twenties (which was not too long ago), so I blame the opposite end of the age spectrum for my stupidity. ;P

        [Forum Guidelines]

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        • D Dalek Dave

          My MD has just come into my office with his new phone saying he can't get it to work. He has put in the SIM card and charged it like it says in the manual, but it seems to be broken, could I get it sent back to the supplier for one that works. "OK", say I , for I am a helpful chap, and take the phone from him. I press the red button and hold for 3 seconds. Lo, and behold, it lights up, and is working perfectly well. "Oh you fixed it!" he says. "No" I say, "I merely switched it on!". This man is 59 and had a mobile phone for donkeys, how did he not know this?

          ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave

          L Offline
          L Offline
          Lost User
          wrote on last edited by
          #4

          Aw, give him a break. It's Monday. Everyone is entitled to the occasional off moment. ;)

          L u n a t i c F r i n g e

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          • D Dalek Dave

            My MD has just come into my office with his new phone saying he can't get it to work. He has put in the SIM card and charged it like it says in the manual, but it seems to be broken, could I get it sent back to the supplier for one that works. "OK", say I , for I am a helpful chap, and take the phone from him. I press the red button and hold for 3 seconds. Lo, and behold, it lights up, and is working perfectly well. "Oh you fixed it!" he says. "No" I say, "I merely switched it on!". This man is 59 and had a mobile phone for donkeys, how did he not know this?

            ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave

            R Offline
            R Offline
            RugbyLeague
            wrote on last edited by
            #5

            The MD at a place I used to work was a very bright man, a marketing and stats whiz who had made millions. However his computer skills left rather a lot to be desired. I once got a call from him complaining that his new mousemat wasn't big enough - I went to look and he was holding the mat up to his monitor and complaining that the mat clearly wasn't as big as the screen so how was he expected to click on something if it was on the edge of the screen.

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            • R RugbyLeague

              The MD at a place I used to work was a very bright man, a marketing and stats whiz who had made millions. However his computer skills left rather a lot to be desired. I once got a call from him complaining that his new mousemat wasn't big enough - I went to look and he was holding the mat up to his monitor and complaining that the mat clearly wasn't as big as the screen so how was he expected to click on something if it was on the edge of the screen.

              D Offline
              D Offline
              Dalek Dave
              wrote on last edited by
              #6

              I had to explain to a colleague that because the broadband connection required a MAC address, that didn't mean he had to buy an Apple computer. This conversation lasted about fifteen minutes until he understood what I was saying in loud slow simple words. The guy in question was the operations manager, not a moron, merely an idiot.

              ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave

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              • D Dalek Dave

                My MD has just come into my office with his new phone saying he can't get it to work. He has put in the SIM card and charged it like it says in the manual, but it seems to be broken, could I get it sent back to the supplier for one that works. "OK", say I , for I am a helpful chap, and take the phone from him. I press the red button and hold for 3 seconds. Lo, and behold, it lights up, and is working perfectly well. "Oh you fixed it!" he says. "No" I say, "I merely switched it on!". This man is 59 and had a mobile phone for donkeys, how did he not know this?

                ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave

                A Offline
                A Offline
                AndyInUK
                wrote on last edited by
                #7

                Dave, I was not expecting that you would write all this crap about me online in this community. Please see me in the office. We need to talk. Your MD.

                D 1 Reply Last reply
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                • D Dalek Dave

                  My MD has just come into my office with his new phone saying he can't get it to work. He has put in the SIM card and charged it like it says in the manual, but it seems to be broken, could I get it sent back to the supplier for one that works. "OK", say I , for I am a helpful chap, and take the phone from him. I press the red button and hold for 3 seconds. Lo, and behold, it lights up, and is working perfectly well. "Oh you fixed it!" he says. "No" I say, "I merely switched it on!". This man is 59 and had a mobile phone for donkeys, how did he not know this?

                  ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave

                  A Offline
                  A Offline
                  Abhinav S
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #8

                  Dalek Dave wrote:

                  how did he not know this

                  Your doctor needs to see a doctor.

                  **Me, I'm dishonest. And a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest.
                  Honestly. It's the honest ones you want to watch out for...
                  **

                  OriginalGriffO 1 Reply Last reply
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                  • D Dalek Dave

                    My MD has just come into my office with his new phone saying he can't get it to work. He has put in the SIM card and charged it like it says in the manual, but it seems to be broken, could I get it sent back to the supplier for one that works. "OK", say I , for I am a helpful chap, and take the phone from him. I press the red button and hold for 3 seconds. Lo, and behold, it lights up, and is working perfectly well. "Oh you fixed it!" he says. "No" I say, "I merely switched it on!". This man is 59 and had a mobile phone for donkeys, how did he not know this?

                    ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave

                    R Offline
                    R Offline
                    Rod Kemp
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #9

                    Like a lot of upper management people that I know he has most likely never turned his mobile off. :sigh:

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                    • 4 4277480

                      lol dont even remind me hahaha my grand father (RIP) never even touched a computer so one day I wanted to teach him the basics.... so I told him in order to close a program you take the mouse and place it on the x and click it once... guess what he did loooool he lifted the mouse and actually placed it on the x too bad if he was alive that would've worked :laugh:

                      T Offline
                      T Offline
                      The Sky Winner
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #10

                      Had read some similar incident from a tech support guy whose client was complaining that she can't see the X button on the screen, when the support executive went at her place, he realized she was doing the same stuff as your grandfather (RIP). LOL.

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                      • A Abhinav S

                        Dalek Dave wrote:

                        how did he not know this

                        Your doctor needs to see a doctor.

                        **Me, I'm dishonest. And a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest.
                        Honestly. It's the honest ones you want to watch out for...
                        **

                        OriginalGriffO Offline
                        OriginalGriffO Offline
                        OriginalGriff
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #11

                        Abhinav S wrote:

                        Your doctor needs to see a doctor

                        That's just DD using colloquial English - MD in this context stands for Managing Director (i.e. the guy in charge of the whole company DD works for) rather than Medical Doctor.

                        All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand. My :badger:'s gonna unleash hell on your ass. :badger:tastic!

                        "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
                        "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt

                        1 Reply Last reply
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                        • D Dalek Dave

                          My MD has just come into my office with his new phone saying he can't get it to work. He has put in the SIM card and charged it like it says in the manual, but it seems to be broken, could I get it sent back to the supplier for one that works. "OK", say I , for I am a helpful chap, and take the phone from him. I press the red button and hold for 3 seconds. Lo, and behold, it lights up, and is working perfectly well. "Oh you fixed it!" he says. "No" I say, "I merely switched it on!". This man is 59 and had a mobile phone for donkeys, how did he not know this?

                          ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave

                          OriginalGriffO Offline
                          OriginalGriffO Offline
                          OriginalGriff
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #12

                          Ah! You work for this guy![^]

                          All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand. My :badger:'s gonna unleash hell on your ass. :badger:tastic!

                          "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
                          "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt

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                          • D Dalek Dave

                            My MD has just come into my office with his new phone saying he can't get it to work. He has put in the SIM card and charged it like it says in the manual, but it seems to be broken, could I get it sent back to the supplier for one that works. "OK", say I , for I am a helpful chap, and take the phone from him. I press the red button and hold for 3 seconds. Lo, and behold, it lights up, and is working perfectly well. "Oh you fixed it!" he says. "No" I say, "I merely switched it on!". This man is 59 and had a mobile phone for donkeys, how did he not know this?

                            ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave

                            B Offline
                            B Offline
                            BillWoodruff
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #13

                            Dalek Dave wrote:

                            This man is 59 and had a mobile phone for donkeys

                            Dear Brother Dave, We hope you are not seeing a veterinarian, and getting into ketamine, and stuff like that ! Please, don't go there. best, Bill

                            "Many : not conversant with mathematical studies, imagine that because it [the Analytical Engine] is to give results in numerical notation, its processes must consequently be arithmetical, numerical, rather than algebraical and analytical. This is an error. The engine can arrange and combine numerical quantities as if they were letters or any other general symbols; and it fact it might bring out its results in algebraical notation, were provisions made accordingly." Ada, Countess Lovelace, 1844

                            1 Reply Last reply
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                            • D Dalek Dave

                              My MD has just come into my office with his new phone saying he can't get it to work. He has put in the SIM card and charged it like it says in the manual, but it seems to be broken, could I get it sent back to the supplier for one that works. "OK", say I , for I am a helpful chap, and take the phone from him. I press the red button and hold for 3 seconds. Lo, and behold, it lights up, and is working perfectly well. "Oh you fixed it!" he says. "No" I say, "I merely switched it on!". This man is 59 and had a mobile phone for donkeys, how did he not know this?

                              ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave

                              P Offline
                              P Offline
                              peterchen
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #14

                              *shrug* that's learnt by imitation (instead of discovery) for most of us. Even me, being a little bit younger than him, tend to stumble over multifunctional buttons from time to time, not expecting that a "go" button also doubles as "roll" when you press it for three seconds while tapping "La Bamba" on the display. It's one of the things where I reserve my right to be stupid - If you want to sell me a phone, make it so I can use it.

                              Personally, I love the idea that Raymond spends his nights posting bad regexs to mailing lists under the pseudonym of Jane Smith. He'd be like a super hero, only more nerdy and less useful. [Trevel]
                              | FoldWithUs! | sighist | µLaunch - program launcher for server core and hyper-v server

                              1 Reply Last reply
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                              • D Dalek Dave

                                My MD has just come into my office with his new phone saying he can't get it to work. He has put in the SIM card and charged it like it says in the manual, but it seems to be broken, could I get it sent back to the supplier for one that works. "OK", say I , for I am a helpful chap, and take the phone from him. I press the red button and hold for 3 seconds. Lo, and behold, it lights up, and is working perfectly well. "Oh you fixed it!" he says. "No" I say, "I merely switched it on!". This man is 59 and had a mobile phone for donkeys, how did he not know this?

                                ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave

                                C Offline
                                C Offline
                                Chris Austin
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #15

                                Was he just having a bad day?

                                And above all things, never think that you're not good enough yourself. A man should never think that. My belief is that in life people will take you at your own reckoning. --Isaac Asimov Avoid the crowd. Do your own thinking independently. Be the chess player, not the chess piece. --Ralph Charell

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                                • A AndyInUK

                                  Dave, I was not expecting that you would write all this crap about me online in this community. Please see me in the office. We need to talk. Your MD.

                                  D Offline
                                  D Offline
                                  Dan Neely
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #16

                                  You're supposed to change your display name before doing this sort of thing.

                                  3x12=36 2x12=24 1x12=12 0x12=18

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                                  • D Dalek Dave

                                    My MD has just come into my office with his new phone saying he can't get it to work. He has put in the SIM card and charged it like it says in the manual, but it seems to be broken, could I get it sent back to the supplier for one that works. "OK", say I , for I am a helpful chap, and take the phone from him. I press the red button and hold for 3 seconds. Lo, and behold, it lights up, and is working perfectly well. "Oh you fixed it!" he says. "No" I say, "I merely switched it on!". This man is 59 and had a mobile phone for donkeys, how did he not know this?

                                    ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave

                                    P Offline
                                    P Offline
                                    PIEBALDconsult
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #17

                                    Every cell phone I've bought had already been turned on and activated by the store clerk.

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