Now this is called JOTD
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When Grandma speaks in court... Lawyers should never ask grandmas a question if they aren't prepared for the answer! In a trial, a small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, an elderly grandmother to the stand. He approached her and asked; "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you're a big disappointment to me.. You lie, cheat on your wife, manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.." The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney (the opponent's lawyer)?" She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster. He's lazy, bigoted, and has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. ..Yes I know him." The defense attorney almost died. The judge asked both lawyers to approach the bench and in a quiet voice said: "If either of you rascals asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to jail for contempt of court !!!
~~~ I don't have signature. Am I not trendy enough? ~~~
Joke of the day twenty years ago.
Watched code never compiles.
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Joke of the day twenty years ago.
Watched code never compiles.
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When Grandma speaks in court... Lawyers should never ask grandmas a question if they aren't prepared for the answer! In a trial, a small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, an elderly grandmother to the stand. He approached her and asked; "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you're a big disappointment to me.. You lie, cheat on your wife, manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.." The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney (the opponent's lawyer)?" She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster. He's lazy, bigoted, and has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. ..Yes I know him." The defense attorney almost died. The judge asked both lawyers to approach the bench and in a quiet voice said: "If either of you rascals asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to jail for contempt of court !!!
~~~ I don't have signature. Am I not trendy enough? ~~~
Here's an older version[^] posted in the Lounge in July 2003 :-)
Regards, Nish
Blog: blog.voidnish.com Most recent article: An MVVM friendly approach to adding system menu entries in a WPF application
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Here's an older version[^] posted in the Lounge in July 2003 :-)
Regards, Nish
Blog: blog.voidnish.com Most recent article: An MVVM friendly approach to adding system menu entries in a WPF application
It was welcomed then. :)
If the Lord God Almighty had consulted me before embarking upon the Creation, I would have recommended something simpler. -- Alfonso the Wise, 13th Century King of Castile.
This is going on my arrogant assumptions. You may have a superb reason why I'm completely wrong. -- Iain Clarke
[My articles] -
It was welcomed then. :)
If the Lord God Almighty had consulted me before embarking upon the Creation, I would have recommended something simpler. -- Alfonso the Wise, 13th Century King of Castile.
This is going on my arrogant assumptions. You may have a superb reason why I'm completely wrong. -- Iain Clarke
[My articles]CPallini wrote:
It was welcomed then.
Yeah, back then we didn't have so many cynical bastards in here all of them trying to prove they've heard every good joke since the late 70s :rolleyes: Of course guys like the OP really do butcher jokes with the bizarre word wrapping, and the gratuitous wording changes - seriously, why bother taking a classic joke and then destroy it by changing 5 arbitrary words? :-D
Regards, Nish
Blog: blog.voidnish.com Most recent article: An MVVM friendly approach to adding system menu entries in a WPF application
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It was welcomed then. :)
If the Lord God Almighty had consulted me before embarking upon the Creation, I would have recommended something simpler. -- Alfonso the Wise, 13th Century King of Castile.
This is going on my arrogant assumptions. You may have a superb reason why I'm completely wrong. -- Iain Clarke
[My articles] -
Here's an older version[^] posted in the Lounge in July 2003 :-)
Regards, Nish
Blog: blog.voidnish.com Most recent article: An MVVM friendly approach to adding system menu entries in a WPF application
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CPallini wrote:
It was welcomed then.
Yeah, back then we didn't have so many cynical bastards in here all of them trying to prove they've heard every good joke since the late 70s :rolleyes: Of course guys like the OP really do butcher jokes with the bizarre word wrapping, and the gratuitous wording changes - seriously, why bother taking a classic joke and then destroy it by changing 5 arbitrary words? :-D
Regards, Nish
Blog: blog.voidnish.com Most recent article: An MVVM friendly approach to adding system menu entries in a WPF application
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How did you find that ? Normal search ? Come on, tell us that you have bookmarked all jokes in the Lounge since 2001.
Rage wrote:
Come on, tell us that you have bookmarked all jokes in the Lounge since 2001.
:-D Even I am not that crazy! This was just a regular search.
Regards, Nish
Blog: blog.voidnish.com Most recent article: An MVVM friendly approach to adding system menu entries in a WPF application
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Nishant Sivakumar wrote:
hey've heard every good joke since the late 70s
For most of us, we have been around for more than 8 years now. Don't you think we probably read them all in the Lounge/Soapbox ?
Rage wrote:
For most of us, we have been around for more than 8 years now. Don't you think we probably read them all in the Lounge/Soapbox ?
Yeah, I guess so. If it's funny we've heard it I guess :)
Regards, Nish
Blog: blog.voidnish.com Most recent article: An MVVM friendly approach to adding system menu entries in a WPF application
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CPallini wrote:
It was welcomed then
I fived it :wtf: :sigh: 7 years can alter one's judgement !!
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When Grandma speaks in court... Lawyers should never ask grandmas a question if they aren't prepared for the answer! In a trial, a small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, an elderly grandmother to the stand. He approached her and asked; "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you're a big disappointment to me.. You lie, cheat on your wife, manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.." The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney (the opponent's lawyer)?" She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster. He's lazy, bigoted, and has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. ..Yes I know him." The defense attorney almost died. The judge asked both lawyers to approach the bench and in a quiet voice said: "If either of you rascals asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to jail for contempt of court !!!
~~~ I don't have signature. Am I not trendy enough? ~~~
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Here's an older version[^] posted in the Lounge in July 2003 :-)
Regards, Nish
Blog: blog.voidnish.com Most recent article: An MVVM friendly approach to adding system menu entries in a WPF application
Wo! Thats was some tracking!!! You remeber something similar posted in 2003 :thumbsup:
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First time I've heard it, and you got my five. People here can sometimes be a bit harsh. Good thing you didn't post it on a Monday...
-NP Never underestimate the creativity of the end-user.
NickPace wrote:
Good thing you didn't post it on a Monday...
I think they are more harsh on Fridays! (i.e. for jokes!)