If you're ever bored...
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merridus wrote:
a few other items from the same shelf in the old ladies trolley
That sounds so like an innuendo!
------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave
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I do the putting things in my missus trolley too, Haggis is the best as she cant stand touching it.
She is very wise. It is god awful dog slop food, fit only for scotsmen. (I am so gonna get burnt with that statement :) )
------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave
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If you want a cheap laugh, go to a supermarket and bring up a crate of beer and a pack of nappies, when you go to pay say you only have enough money for one of them and put the nappies back, just watch the look on the persons face.
------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave
Another joke is to ask for something completely impossible: In French, we have the same word for scale and ladder, e.g. "Echelle". My wife was once sent to the supermarket by my brother to fetch an "Echelle de Richter". Of course she did not find it, and asked a vendor. She came back home infuriated. :-\
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She is very wise. It is god awful dog slop food, fit only for scotsmen. (I am so gonna get burnt with that statement :) )
------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave
In English, words for prepared meat are generally French: mutton (mouton), beef (boeuf) etc., while the words for animals are Saxon: sheep, pig, cow, and so on. This is because the English, after one of their regular invasions - this time by the French of all people - migrated to the mucking-out end of the food preparation process. No doubt this is why people still flock to England to sample the cuisine of warm, flat beer and tasty 10-hour boiled cabbage.
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I do the putting things in my missus trolley too, Haggis is the best as she cant stand touching it.
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In English, words for prepared meat are generally French: mutton (mouton), beef (boeuf) etc., while the words for animals are Saxon: sheep, pig, cow, and so on. This is because the English, after one of their regular invasions - this time by the French of all people - migrated to the mucking-out end of the food preparation process. No doubt this is why people still flock to England to sample the cuisine of warm, flat beer and tasty 10-hour boiled cabbage.
"If one wishes to eat well in England, once should have breakfast, three times a day" Somerset Maugham
------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave
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Thanks, I will try that one. Other things to do whilst shopping are to put unusual things into other peoples trolleys, or, if you are an expert in such things, remove items from their trolleys!
------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave
Dalek Dave wrote:
unusual things into other peoples trolleys
Condoms usually are a great choice. Or several toilet brusches (works only if the trolley is full enough to hide them). You can also hide people's trolleys. Or take some electronic label from an item and paste it inside someone's jacket or on their bag (going out from the supermarket triggers the alarm).
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If you want a cheap laugh, go to a supermarket and bring up a crate of beer and a pack of nappies, when you go to pay say you only have enough money for one of them and put the nappies back, just watch the look on the persons face.
------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave
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In English, words for prepared meat are generally French: mutton (mouton), beef (boeuf) etc., while the words for animals are Saxon: sheep, pig, cow, and so on. This is because the English, after one of their regular invasions - this time by the French of all people - migrated to the mucking-out end of the food preparation process. No doubt this is why people still flock to England to sample the cuisine of warm, flat beer and tasty 10-hour boiled cabbage.
I assume by the French you mean the Normans? Invaded by the French - you're having a laugh ;-)
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"If one wishes to eat well in England, once should have breakfast, three times a day" Somerset Maugham
------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave
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Dalek Dave wrote:
unusual things into other peoples trolleys
Condoms usually are a great choice. Or several toilet brusches (works only if the trolley is full enough to hide them). You can also hide people's trolleys. Or take some electronic label from an item and paste it inside someone's jacket or on their bag (going out from the supermarket triggers the alarm).
We sewed the innards of one of those shop tags into the lining of one of my housemates jackets when I was at uni. He couldn't walk in or out of a shop without triggering the alarms. Somehow the joke never grew stale although he did put two and two together when the same thing started happening to him the following winter.
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Another joke is to ask for something completely impossible: In French, we have the same word for scale and ladder, e.g. "Echelle". My wife was once sent to the supermarket by my brother to fetch an "Echelle de Richter". Of course she did not find it, and asked a vendor. She came back home infuriated. :-\
I remember people getting sent to stores with a requisition order for a long weight.
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Except for breakfast. What you call breakfast in England is more suitable for lunch or dinner in most other countries... :)
A good breakfast: Bacon x2 Sausages x2 Eggs (Lightly Fried, sunny side up), x2 Fried slice of bread Beans Mushrooms Tomato (Half, Fried) Black Pudding Potato Bread Served with lashing of Hot Sweet Milky Tea! That breakfast won us an Empire!
------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave
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I remember people getting sent to stores with a requisition order for a long weight.
Glass Hammer, Lefthanded Screwdriver, Pair of Greased Balls, Tartan Paint, Sky Hooks etc etc
------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave
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I like to ask for my money back on Lucky Dips as they turned out to not be 'lucky', which I think is a very reasonable request.
I have so got to try that! Trades Description Act! Brilliant.
------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave
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She is very wise. It is god awful dog slop food, fit only for scotsmen. (I am so gonna get burnt with that statement :) )
------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave
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I assume by the French you mean the Normans? Invaded by the French - you're having a laugh ;-)
I know the Normans had only been in France for a couple of generations before the invasion but that still makes them French!
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I know the Normans had only been in France for a couple of generations before the invasion but that still makes them French!
At that time there was no France, there was Normandy, Anjou, Aquitaine etc.
------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave
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Very Rare, with a Pepper Sauce and garlic mushrooms. (And loads of Chips!)
------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave
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Glass Hammer, Lefthanded Screwdriver, Pair of Greased Balls, Tartan Paint, Sky Hooks etc etc
------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave
Red oil for a danger lamp!