Jail and marriage...
-
A wife woke in the middle of the night to find her husband missing from bed. She got out of bed and checked around the house. She heard sobbing from the basement. After turning on the light and descending the stairs, she found he husband curled up in the corner, of the basement,... crying like a baby. "Honey, what's wrong?", she asked, worried about what could hurt him so much. "Remember, 20 years ago, I got you pregnant and your father threatened me to either marry you or to go to jail?" "Yes, of course," she replied. "Well, I would have been released from jail this afternoon!"
-
A wife woke in the middle of the night to find her husband missing from bed. She got out of bed and checked around the house. She heard sobbing from the basement. After turning on the light and descending the stairs, she found he husband curled up in the corner, of the basement,... crying like a baby. "Honey, what's wrong?", she asked, worried about what could hurt him so much. "Remember, 20 years ago, I got you pregnant and your father threatened me to either marry you or to go to jail?" "Yes, of course," she replied. "Well, I would have been released from jail this afternoon!"
-
A wife woke in the middle of the night to find her husband missing from bed. She got out of bed and checked around the house. She heard sobbing from the basement. After turning on the light and descending the stairs, she found he husband curled up in the corner, of the basement,... crying like a baby. "Honey, what's wrong?", she asked, worried about what could hurt him so much. "Remember, 20 years ago, I got you pregnant and your father threatened me to either marry you or to go to jail?" "Yes, of course," she replied. "Well, I would have been released from jail this afternoon!"
-
I'm pretty sure that the particles that the Large Hadron Collider at CERN will find when they recreate the big bang, will be telling this joke to each other.
Particles don't tell jokes, they at most spin in a funny way. :)
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." (DNA)
-
Particles don't tell jokes, they at most spin in a funny way. :)
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." (DNA)
Do they not? What about these ones? So a neutron walks into a bar and says, "i'd like a beer, please." And the bartender gives him one and the neutron says, "thanks, how much?" and the bartender says, "For you? No charge." So one ion runs into another ion and says, "Hey, can you help me? I think I lost an electron." And the second ion says, "Wow, are you sure?" and the first one says, "Yeah, I'm positive!" So, two fermions walk into a bar, and one says: "I'd like a beer, please." The other one says: "Damn, that's what I wanted!"
-
A wife woke in the middle of the night to find her husband missing from bed. She got out of bed and checked around the house. She heard sobbing from the basement. After turning on the light and descending the stairs, she found he husband curled up in the corner, of the basement,... crying like a baby. "Honey, what's wrong?", she asked, worried about what could hurt him so much. "Remember, 20 years ago, I got you pregnant and your father threatened me to either marry you or to go to jail?" "Yes, of course," she replied. "Well, I would have been released from jail this afternoon!"
-
Do they not? What about these ones? So a neutron walks into a bar and says, "i'd like a beer, please." And the bartender gives him one and the neutron says, "thanks, how much?" and the bartender says, "For you? No charge." So one ion runs into another ion and says, "Hey, can you help me? I think I lost an electron." And the second ion says, "Wow, are you sure?" and the first one says, "Yeah, I'm positive!" So, two fermions walk into a bar, and one says: "I'd like a beer, please." The other one says: "Damn, that's what I wanted!"
-
A student recognizes Einstein in a train and asks,"Excuse me, Professor, but does London stop by this train?"
------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave
-
A student recognizes Einstein in a train and asks,"Excuse me, Professor, but does London stop by this train?"
------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave
Well, I am pretty sure, I posted this one in the lounge sometime ago, but hey, so what: Rene Descartes was sitting at a bar. The bartender came over and asked if he would like another drink. He replied, “I think not.” And he vanished. Heisenburg was also sitting at the bar. After Descartes vanished in a puff of smoke, the bartender walked over to him and asked, “Did you see that?” To which Heisenberg replied, “I can’t be certain.” The bartender then noticed Einstein was there. So he asked him if he could believe what had happened. Einstein replied, “It’s all relative.” Then the bartender noticed that Carl Sagan was there. He walked over to him and asked, “Can you believe that all these famous people are here in THIS bar?” Sagan replied, “No. Why there must be BILLIONS and BILLIONS of bars out there.”
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." (DNA)
-
A student recognizes Einstein in a train and asks,"Excuse me, Professor, but does London stop by this train?"
------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave
-
Do they not? What about these ones? So a neutron walks into a bar and says, "i'd like a beer, please." And the bartender gives him one and the neutron says, "thanks, how much?" and the bartender says, "For you? No charge." So one ion runs into another ion and says, "Hey, can you help me? I think I lost an electron." And the second ion says, "Wow, are you sure?" and the first one says, "Yeah, I'm positive!" So, two fermions walk into a bar, and one says: "I'd like a beer, please." The other one says: "Damn, that's what I wanted!"
pompeyboy3 wrote:
Do they not? What about these ones?
Right you are. Heard them before, but :thumbsup: :)
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." (DNA)
-
Well, I am pretty sure, I posted this one in the lounge sometime ago, but hey, so what: Rene Descartes was sitting at a bar. The bartender came over and asked if he would like another drink. He replied, “I think not.” And he vanished. Heisenburg was also sitting at the bar. After Descartes vanished in a puff of smoke, the bartender walked over to him and asked, “Did you see that?” To which Heisenberg replied, “I can’t be certain.” The bartender then noticed Einstein was there. So he asked him if he could believe what had happened. Einstein replied, “It’s all relative.” Then the bartender noticed that Carl Sagan was there. He walked over to him and asked, “Can you believe that all these famous people are here in THIS bar?” Sagan replied, “No. Why there must be BILLIONS and BILLIONS of bars out there.”
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." (DNA)
-
Smithers-Jones wrote:
BILLIONS and BILLIONS
Carl Sagan never actually said billions and billions, except in an interview when he said he never said billions and billions, other than in the interview when he said he never said billions and billions. :~
Yeah, and he also was not sitting in the very same bar on the very same day as Einstein, Heisenberg and Descartes.
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." (DNA)
-