Have you ever had to work apart from your spouse?
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I unfortunately have been a casualty of this bad economy and have not been happy with opps presented with from my area from recruiters. I am seriously looking at relocating to an area closer to a major tech area DC, Dallas or maybe even Tampa but this will take me away from my spouse. So i was wondering have any of you had to deal with this and how did you do it?
yeah, Currently I am in US and my wife is in India, but she will be joining me soon.
SciGama wrote:
how did you do it?
Phone calls and skype, everyday.
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I unfortunately have been a casualty of this bad economy and have not been happy with opps presented with from my area from recruiters. I am seriously looking at relocating to an area closer to a major tech area DC, Dallas or maybe even Tampa but this will take me away from my spouse. So i was wondering have any of you had to deal with this and how did you do it?
Yes. I worked in a different country, and would spend 10 days there and then 4-5 at home - essentially every other weekend. I found it fine (mostly) I had work, and good friends there to pass the time. You do miss out on things though - drink ups, birthdays, BBQ's etc, which can piss you off. The missus on the other hand really didn't like it. She didn't like spending the evenings by herself most of the time - it can get quite lonely. But, we're still together, although I have quit that job and now work in the same country! So, yes you can do it, but it will test your relationship. But if you are good together you should be fine. Good luck. :)
"Benjamin is nobody's friend. If Benjamin were an ice cream flavor, he'd be pralines and dick." ~ Garth Algar "If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." ~ Paul Neal "Red" Adair
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yeah, Currently I am in US and my wife is in India, but she will be joining me soon.
SciGama wrote:
how did you do it?
Phone calls and skype, everyday.
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Oh yes. In my younger days, I spent a lot of time contracting away from home. It made for an interesting time when I was getting married as I was on a different continent to the then future Mrs Me, and she did most of the preparing for the wedding.
SciGama wrote:
So i was wondering have any of you had to deal with this and how did you do it?
By working with mates, partying while I was away and giving all my time to the Mrs when I was at home.
I have CDO, it's OCD with the letters in the right order; just as they ruddy well should be
Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads
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I unfortunately have been a casualty of this bad economy and have not been happy with opps presented with from my area from recruiters. I am seriously looking at relocating to an area closer to a major tech area DC, Dallas or maybe even Tampa but this will take me away from my spouse. So i was wondering have any of you had to deal with this and how did you do it?
More or less. My wife has had to travel to take care of some personal business while I was stuck here working for a couple of months. We get through it by Skype and phone calls every day at a predetermined time. As far as me traveling for work, my rule has always been that 2 - 3 weeks away I'll do if needed. Longer than that, and either she comes along or I don't go. No discussion, the decision has already been made. And, yes, I have turned down work due to that rule and have never regretted it.
CQ de W5ALT
Walt Fair, Jr., P. E. Comport Computing Specializing in Technical Engineering Software
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Most of the time, your spouse moves when you do. I certainly wouldn't take a job in another location if my spouse wasn't willing to move with me. You appear to be quite the drama queen regarding employment.
.45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly
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"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass..." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
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"The staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - J. Jystad, 2001John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote:
Most of the time, your spouse moves when you do. I certainly wouldn't take a job in another location if my spouse wasn't willing to move with me.
I don't think SciGama was planning to be permanently separated geographically; but since he's looking for jobs in a new area because his has an exceptionally bad job market having his wife immediately quit hers to join him probably isn't an option and there's no guarantee that she'll be able to find one in his new location immediately. This would mean there'd be an extended period of time when they weren't together during the week. Obviously that would suck but it doesn't seem any worse than having a job with a very high amount of business travel. People manage to stay married despite doing that. My dad's a long haul truck driver and for the last decade has only been home a few days out of the month on average; the main exception being that he normally takes 2 or 3 weeks off strait around Christmas. My mom would like him to be home more often, and he'd like the same, and a more regular presence might have helped keep my younger brother out of trouble as a teenager; but they've managed to keep everything going reasonably well.
3x12=36 2x12=24 1x12=12 0x12=18
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Oh yes. In my younger days, I spent a lot of time contracting away from home. It made for an interesting time when I was getting married as I was on a different continent to the then future Mrs Me, and she did most of the preparing for the wedding.
SciGama wrote:
So i was wondering have any of you had to deal with this and how did you do it?
By working with mates, partying while I was away and giving all my time to the Mrs when I was at home.
I have CDO, it's OCD with the letters in the right order; just as they ruddy well should be
Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads
Pete O'Hanlon wrote:
I was getting married as I was on a different continent to the then future Mrs Me, and she did most of the preparing for the wedding.
Isn't that the way it's supposed to work even if you're in the same place. She makes all the major decisions while you sign the checks and say "yes dear". :laugh:
3x12=36 2x12=24 1x12=12 0x12=18
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Oh yes. In my younger days, I spent a lot of time contracting away from home. It made for an interesting time when I was getting married as I was on a different continent to the then future Mrs Me, and she did most of the preparing for the wedding.
SciGama wrote:
So i was wondering have any of you had to deal with this and how did you do it?
By working with mates, partying while I was away and giving all my time to the Mrs when I was at home.
I have CDO, it's OCD with the letters in the right order; just as they ruddy well should be
Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads
Pete O'Hanlon wrote:
she did most of the preparing for the wedding.
How much longer until you've finished paying it off?
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I unfortunately have been a casualty of this bad economy and have not been happy with opps presented with from my area from recruiters. I am seriously looking at relocating to an area closer to a major tech area DC, Dallas or maybe even Tampa but this will take me away from my spouse. So i was wondering have any of you had to deal with this and how did you do it?
Years ago before we were married, I left to go to work up in the North West Territories for 13 weeks. I had to fly in to a camp of about 30 people and then proceeded to work 7 days a week. The only contact we had was snail mail and a walkie-talkie phone service. After about 9 weeks, I decided that I wasn't going to be renew the contract and the night that I called and spoke to my better half, she was holding in her hands a letter she had written and was about to mail, that suggested we call off our relationship. She hadn't mailed the letter and upon hearing that I would be returning in 4 weeks, and not leaving again, she tore up the letter. I only tell the story because while it highlights the difficulties you may experience during the separation, I can honestly say that when you get back together, you both will be much stronger for it. :) Good luck to you and your wife.
Chris Meech I am Canadian. [heard in a local bar] In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is. [Yogi Berra]
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Years ago before we were married, I left to go to work up in the North West Territories for 13 weeks. I had to fly in to a camp of about 30 people and then proceeded to work 7 days a week. The only contact we had was snail mail and a walkie-talkie phone service. After about 9 weeks, I decided that I wasn't going to be renew the contract and the night that I called and spoke to my better half, she was holding in her hands a letter she had written and was about to mail, that suggested we call off our relationship. She hadn't mailed the letter and upon hearing that I would be returning in 4 weeks, and not leaving again, she tore up the letter. I only tell the story because while it highlights the difficulties you may experience during the separation, I can honestly say that when you get back together, you both will be much stronger for it. :) Good luck to you and your wife.
Chris Meech I am Canadian. [heard in a local bar] In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is. [Yogi Berra]
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I unfortunately have been a casualty of this bad economy and have not been happy with opps presented with from my area from recruiters. I am seriously looking at relocating to an area closer to a major tech area DC, Dallas or maybe even Tampa but this will take me away from my spouse. So i was wondering have any of you had to deal with this and how did you do it?
Yup, for 22 years now. Best move I ever made! :-D
Will Rogers never met me.
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I unfortunately have been a casualty of this bad economy and have not been happy with opps presented with from my area from recruiters. I am seriously looking at relocating to an area closer to a major tech area DC, Dallas or maybe even Tampa but this will take me away from my spouse. So i was wondering have any of you had to deal with this and how did you do it?
Me and the wife just got back together under one roof after about 3~4 months in separate states. We've had to do it before when one or the other of us took a new job. It sucks, but I do like building edifices out of empty beer containers while she's out of town. It's a hobby, know what I mean? I went for that Twin Towers look this last time - nearly had both of them up to the kitchen ceiling before she came home and ruined my fun. :laugh:
L u n a t i c F r i n g e
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Me and the wife just got back together under one roof after about 3~4 months in separate states. We've had to do it before when one or the other of us took a new job. It sucks, but I do like building edifices out of empty beer containers while she's out of town. It's a hobby, know what I mean? I went for that Twin Towers look this last time - nearly had both of them up to the kitchen ceiling before she came home and ruined my fun. :laugh:
L u n a t i c F r i n g e
LunaticFringe wrote:
but I do like building edifices out of empty beer containers while she's out of town. It's a hobby, know what I mean? I went for that Twin Towers look this last time
Great idea! Then you can play to be a Godzilla-like monster... We want the video in youtube, please :)
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LunaticFringe wrote:
but I do like building edifices out of empty beer containers while she's out of town. It's a hobby, know what I mean? I went for that Twin Towers look this last time
Great idea! Then you can play to be a Godzilla-like monster... We want the video in youtube, please :)
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That was EXACTLY the plan! You can imagine my disappointment to wake up the morning after she'd come home and find she'd taken it all down and thrown 'em all away. Women. I tell ya... :rolleyes: :sigh: ;) :-D
L u n a t i c F r i n g e
Uh, what a shame... But now you know what to do, the next time build all the "city" and hide a camcorder recording. Then the next morning you will have a video of a Godzilla-like monster (ahem, your wife) destroying the city :laugh: We want that video in youtube too, please ;P
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Uh, what a shame... But now you know what to do, the next time build all the "city" and hide a camcorder recording. Then the next morning you will have a video of a Godzilla-like monster (ahem, your wife) destroying the city :laugh: We want that video in youtube too, please ;P
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I unfortunately have been a casualty of this bad economy and have not been happy with opps presented with from my area from recruiters. I am seriously looking at relocating to an area closer to a major tech area DC, Dallas or maybe even Tampa but this will take me away from my spouse. So i was wondering have any of you had to deal with this and how did you do it?
We had a long-distance engagement, but she hasn't been able to shake me since.
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I unfortunately have been a casualty of this bad economy and have not been happy with opps presented with from my area from recruiters. I am seriously looking at relocating to an area closer to a major tech area DC, Dallas or maybe even Tampa but this will take me away from my spouse. So i was wondering have any of you had to deal with this and how did you do it?
Happens all the time for various reasons ... My husband is (now) retired US Air Force. At the 13 year point in our marriage (the 14 year point in his career), he spent 13 months in South Korea as a base commander while I was in the DC metroplex. After much discussion between us, we had agreed it would be a "good thing" to do for his career, the benefits were sufficient to overcome the shortcomings, and it was something that we thought would be able to handle. He therefore requested the assignment and got it. The biggest thing to successfully dealing with a long separation is communication. Both parties need to have agreed to it - that way neither one feels like they were forced into the split and both have the incentive to make it work since you both decided it was the "right" thing to do, as opposed to one party bullying the other into saying "yes" to the separation. This kind of split is, IMHO, much easier now than it was then. My separation was back in 1999, when email made things easier than snail mail and telephones, but it was still tough. It wasn't the same as talking to the distant person. Many were the nights I just wanted to hear my husband's voice. Kind of tough when that voice is 11 timezones away ... it would be much easier now with the advent of web-cams. The written word just doesn't compare to the real-time visual. Also, we got together about every 4 months - every time my husband was in the same hemisphere (usually for a work-related meeting), he'd take an extra day or two and we'd meet somewhere in the eastern US. About half-way through the year, we got together for a week of a vacation, just the two of us in Hawaii. That helped quite a bit. You basically need to make the time to talk to each other ("talk" being a generic term for communicating via the most immediate and real-time manner available given the current technology) and let each other know that you miss each other but understand the temporary sacrifices needed to get through the current situation and are willing to tough it out together. It's hard ... very hard sometimes ... but it can be done successfully and it can make your relationship stronger through mutual devotion and willingness to persevere. It's also important for each person to maintain their personal activities. When you're apart that long, you need to maintain your own identity independent of your partner, be it through your work or other things. Gods, I sound like a self-help book (someone shoot me, please) but ... that's the way it was for my husband and m
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Years ago before we were married, I left to go to work up in the North West Territories for 13 weeks. I had to fly in to a camp of about 30 people and then proceeded to work 7 days a week. The only contact we had was snail mail and a walkie-talkie phone service. After about 9 weeks, I decided that I wasn't going to be renew the contract and the night that I called and spoke to my better half, she was holding in her hands a letter she had written and was about to mail, that suggested we call off our relationship. She hadn't mailed the letter and upon hearing that I would be returning in 4 weeks, and not leaving again, she tore up the letter. I only tell the story because while it highlights the difficulties you may experience during the separation, I can honestly say that when you get back together, you both will be much stronger for it. :) Good luck to you and your wife.
Chris Meech I am Canadian. [heard in a local bar] In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is. [Yogi Berra]
