Driving in the snow
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DaveAuld's thread below reminded me of this observation on the difference between the sexes when it comes to driving in Icy/Snowy conditions. WOMEN 1, Sit in the car with the engine running and the heater on full for 15-20 minutes until the windscreen is completely clear. 2. Pull away nervously, screaming every time the wheels lose traction, sit as close to the steering wheel as possible and try to fight back the tears. 3. When reaching a gritted road continue to drive at no more than 11mph, preferably in 4th gear so that the car lurches everywhere. 4. Arrive at work leaving the car wherever it stops, enter the office and cry with other female colleagues about how frightening the journey was. MEN 1. Start the car, scrape off the ice with a CD cover so that there is a 6 inch hole in the ice. 2. Accelerate wildly in an attempt to get the speedo reading 90mph while still at a walking pace. 3. When joining a vaguely gritted road drive as normal, weaving around any women travelling at 11mph. 4 Wind the driver's window down and turn the heater up to full to carry out an experiment as to whether wind chill can be beaten by the heater matrix. 5. Arrive at the work car park at a much higher speed than usual to enable a high speed handbrake turn. If possible blow the horn to alert other men to your feat of machismo. 6. Realise that you were going too fast for the conditions. 7. Exit the vehicle and inspect damage to your car, other cars you have collided with as well as damage to curbs/bollards/bystanders.
The Whiteboard - Surely the most remarkable invention ever?
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DaveAuld's thread below reminded me of this observation on the difference between the sexes when it comes to driving in Icy/Snowy conditions. WOMEN 1, Sit in the car with the engine running and the heater on full for 15-20 minutes until the windscreen is completely clear. 2. Pull away nervously, screaming every time the wheels lose traction, sit as close to the steering wheel as possible and try to fight back the tears. 3. When reaching a gritted road continue to drive at no more than 11mph, preferably in 4th gear so that the car lurches everywhere. 4. Arrive at work leaving the car wherever it stops, enter the office and cry with other female colleagues about how frightening the journey was. MEN 1. Start the car, scrape off the ice with a CD cover so that there is a 6 inch hole in the ice. 2. Accelerate wildly in an attempt to get the speedo reading 90mph while still at a walking pace. 3. When joining a vaguely gritted road drive as normal, weaving around any women travelling at 11mph. 4 Wind the driver's window down and turn the heater up to full to carry out an experiment as to whether wind chill can be beaten by the heater matrix. 5. Arrive at the work car park at a much higher speed than usual to enable a high speed handbrake turn. If possible blow the horn to alert other men to your feat of machismo. 6. Realise that you were going too fast for the conditions. 7. Exit the vehicle and inspect damage to your car, other cars you have collided with as well as damage to curbs/bollards/bystanders.
The Whiteboard - Surely the most remarkable invention ever?
Superb. And quite accurate (ahem!) In my case, borrow wife's new Range Rover. Accelerate away down farm track to 'test traction control'. Discover laws of physics still apply at the end of the track, skid accross road and go through hedge into field of cows. (That was last year - she still won't let me borrow it - no idea why)
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DaveAuld's thread below reminded me of this observation on the difference between the sexes when it comes to driving in Icy/Snowy conditions. WOMEN 1, Sit in the car with the engine running and the heater on full for 15-20 minutes until the windscreen is completely clear. 2. Pull away nervously, screaming every time the wheels lose traction, sit as close to the steering wheel as possible and try to fight back the tears. 3. When reaching a gritted road continue to drive at no more than 11mph, preferably in 4th gear so that the car lurches everywhere. 4. Arrive at work leaving the car wherever it stops, enter the office and cry with other female colleagues about how frightening the journey was. MEN 1. Start the car, scrape off the ice with a CD cover so that there is a 6 inch hole in the ice. 2. Accelerate wildly in an attempt to get the speedo reading 90mph while still at a walking pace. 3. When joining a vaguely gritted road drive as normal, weaving around any women travelling at 11mph. 4 Wind the driver's window down and turn the heater up to full to carry out an experiment as to whether wind chill can be beaten by the heater matrix. 5. Arrive at the work car park at a much higher speed than usual to enable a high speed handbrake turn. If possible blow the horn to alert other men to your feat of machismo. 6. Realise that you were going too fast for the conditions. 7. Exit the vehicle and inspect damage to your car, other cars you have collided with as well as damage to curbs/bollards/bystanders.
The Whiteboard - Surely the most remarkable invention ever?
I cannot drive whilst it is snowing. I get hypnotised by the snow coming at the windscreen and then flying over the top of it. I end up focussing on the windscreen and see nothing beyond it. Fortunately we've had virtually none around here, and it is another beautiful sunny but cold day, just like the weekend and end of last week.
Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends.
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DaveAuld's thread below reminded me of this observation on the difference between the sexes when it comes to driving in Icy/Snowy conditions. WOMEN 1, Sit in the car with the engine running and the heater on full for 15-20 minutes until the windscreen is completely clear. 2. Pull away nervously, screaming every time the wheels lose traction, sit as close to the steering wheel as possible and try to fight back the tears. 3. When reaching a gritted road continue to drive at no more than 11mph, preferably in 4th gear so that the car lurches everywhere. 4. Arrive at work leaving the car wherever it stops, enter the office and cry with other female colleagues about how frightening the journey was. MEN 1. Start the car, scrape off the ice with a CD cover so that there is a 6 inch hole in the ice. 2. Accelerate wildly in an attempt to get the speedo reading 90mph while still at a walking pace. 3. When joining a vaguely gritted road drive as normal, weaving around any women travelling at 11mph. 4 Wind the driver's window down and turn the heater up to full to carry out an experiment as to whether wind chill can be beaten by the heater matrix. 5. Arrive at the work car park at a much higher speed than usual to enable a high speed handbrake turn. If possible blow the horn to alert other men to your feat of machismo. 6. Realise that you were going too fast for the conditions. 7. Exit the vehicle and inspect damage to your car, other cars you have collided with as well as damage to curbs/bollards/bystanders.
The Whiteboard - Surely the most remarkable invention ever?
MEN Drive off with the inside windshield fully misted in the vain hope that once the engine is warm the windshield will demist. Actually the title of the post could be a parady of Aled Jones's "I'm walking in the air" "I'm driving in the snow" Watching women weep and go... Please feel free to add your own lyrics.
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DaveAuld's thread below reminded me of this observation on the difference between the sexes when it comes to driving in Icy/Snowy conditions. WOMEN 1, Sit in the car with the engine running and the heater on full for 15-20 minutes until the windscreen is completely clear. 2. Pull away nervously, screaming every time the wheels lose traction, sit as close to the steering wheel as possible and try to fight back the tears. 3. When reaching a gritted road continue to drive at no more than 11mph, preferably in 4th gear so that the car lurches everywhere. 4. Arrive at work leaving the car wherever it stops, enter the office and cry with other female colleagues about how frightening the journey was. MEN 1. Start the car, scrape off the ice with a CD cover so that there is a 6 inch hole in the ice. 2. Accelerate wildly in an attempt to get the speedo reading 90mph while still at a walking pace. 3. When joining a vaguely gritted road drive as normal, weaving around any women travelling at 11mph. 4 Wind the driver's window down and turn the heater up to full to carry out an experiment as to whether wind chill can be beaten by the heater matrix. 5. Arrive at the work car park at a much higher speed than usual to enable a high speed handbrake turn. If possible blow the horn to alert other men to your feat of machismo. 6. Realise that you were going too fast for the conditions. 7. Exit the vehicle and inspect damage to your car, other cars you have collided with as well as damage to curbs/bollards/bystanders.
The Whiteboard - Surely the most remarkable invention ever?
Well, boo to you, you misogynists. I drove in in driving snow behind some old guy in a hat - they're the worst - crawling along and braking at every corner. Before that I cleared the 15 cm of climate change off the garden path. Quite normal for November, what are they all whingeing about? Just glad I got the menfolk to carry in plenty of logs at the weekend. But I confess I came in the car and not on the scooter, what a chicken...
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I cannot drive whilst it is snowing. I get hypnotised by the snow coming at the windscreen and then flying over the top of it. I end up focussing on the windscreen and see nothing beyond it. Fortunately we've had virtually none around here, and it is another beautiful sunny but cold day, just like the weekend and end of last week.
Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends.
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I cannot drive whilst it is snowing. I get hypnotised by the snow coming at the windscreen and then flying over the top of it. I end up focussing on the windscreen and see nothing beyond it. Fortunately we've had virtually none around here, and it is another beautiful sunny but cold day, just like the weekend and end of last week.
Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends.
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ChrisElston wrote:
Fortunately we've had virtually none around here
Where is 'here'?
The Whiteboard - Surely the most remarkable invention ever?
PompeyBoy3 wrote:
Where is 'here'?
Am I being groomed? Cos my mum said I'm not allowed to give that sort of information out to strange men on the internet. Live near Lichfield, work on the outskirts of Walsall.
Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends.
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Well, boo to you, you misogynists. I drove in in driving snow behind some old guy in a hat - they're the worst - crawling along and braking at every corner. Before that I cleared the 15 cm of climate change off the garden path. Quite normal for November, what are they all whingeing about? Just glad I got the menfolk to carry in plenty of logs at the weekend. But I confess I came in the car and not on the scooter, what a chicken...
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RedSonja wrote:
some old guy in a hat - they're the worst -
Certainly very close to it, regardless of the weather.
Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends.
:laugh: so very true.
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I can't drive while it's snowing either, it only snows once a year and putting on snow chains is not worth the trouble and it looks hair-raising to watch others skid to a halt with wheels locked
Just drive carefully. Careful acceleration, careful steering, careful braking. No problem. Just don't try to combine any two from three... Ride a motorbike all winter - you soon get the idea. And bruises. And hypothermia, admittedly. [sidenote]The Chrome spelling checker complained about every single word in this post - some kind of record for me![/sidenote]
Real men don't use instructions. They are only the manufacturers opinion on how to put the thing together.
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DaveAuld's thread below reminded me of this observation on the difference between the sexes when it comes to driving in Icy/Snowy conditions. WOMEN 1, Sit in the car with the engine running and the heater on full for 15-20 minutes until the windscreen is completely clear. 2. Pull away nervously, screaming every time the wheels lose traction, sit as close to the steering wheel as possible and try to fight back the tears. 3. When reaching a gritted road continue to drive at no more than 11mph, preferably in 4th gear so that the car lurches everywhere. 4. Arrive at work leaving the car wherever it stops, enter the office and cry with other female colleagues about how frightening the journey was. MEN 1. Start the car, scrape off the ice with a CD cover so that there is a 6 inch hole in the ice. 2. Accelerate wildly in an attempt to get the speedo reading 90mph while still at a walking pace. 3. When joining a vaguely gritted road drive as normal, weaving around any women travelling at 11mph. 4 Wind the driver's window down and turn the heater up to full to carry out an experiment as to whether wind chill can be beaten by the heater matrix. 5. Arrive at the work car park at a much higher speed than usual to enable a high speed handbrake turn. If possible blow the horn to alert other men to your feat of machismo. 6. Realise that you were going too fast for the conditions. 7. Exit the vehicle and inspect damage to your car, other cars you have collided with as well as damage to curbs/bollards/bystanders.
The Whiteboard - Surely the most remarkable invention ever?
Jokes apart, we have a set of winter tyres that will go on the car this week [as soon as I can get a slot at the garage]. In Hunland only the most stupid would not bother with winter tyres and we have a set /in case/ here. We used them two years ago for Scotland, last year in Wales and also for a few winter trips across Europe. I also keep my snow chains in the car from October through to March. It is so much easier and safer if you have the right equipment.
Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. or "Drink. Get drunk. Fall over." - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre
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PompeyBoy3 wrote:
Where is 'here'?
Am I being groomed? Cos my mum said I'm not allowed to give that sort of information out to strange men on the internet. Live near Lichfield, work on the outskirts of Walsall.
Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends.
Knock, knock, knock...
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Knock, knock, knock...
Sorry I'm not in right now, but my rottweiler is. I did used to have a rottweiler, the tropical fish I have now are more likely to savage a burglar than that bloody soft thing was.
Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends.
-
DaveAuld's thread below reminded me of this observation on the difference between the sexes when it comes to driving in Icy/Snowy conditions. WOMEN 1, Sit in the car with the engine running and the heater on full for 15-20 minutes until the windscreen is completely clear. 2. Pull away nervously, screaming every time the wheels lose traction, sit as close to the steering wheel as possible and try to fight back the tears. 3. When reaching a gritted road continue to drive at no more than 11mph, preferably in 4th gear so that the car lurches everywhere. 4. Arrive at work leaving the car wherever it stops, enter the office and cry with other female colleagues about how frightening the journey was. MEN 1. Start the car, scrape off the ice with a CD cover so that there is a 6 inch hole in the ice. 2. Accelerate wildly in an attempt to get the speedo reading 90mph while still at a walking pace. 3. When joining a vaguely gritted road drive as normal, weaving around any women travelling at 11mph. 4 Wind the driver's window down and turn the heater up to full to carry out an experiment as to whether wind chill can be beaten by the heater matrix. 5. Arrive at the work car park at a much higher speed than usual to enable a high speed handbrake turn. If possible blow the horn to alert other men to your feat of machismo. 6. Realise that you were going too fast for the conditions. 7. Exit the vehicle and inspect damage to your car, other cars you have collided with as well as damage to curbs/bollards/bystanders.
The Whiteboard - Surely the most remarkable invention ever?
Here's mine: 0) Look out window, observe snow accumulating on ground. 1) Pour a 2nd cup of coffee 2) Setup defensive fall-back positions throughout house with at least 200 rounds of 5.56 Nato, and 50 rounds of .45 ACP at each position. 3) Make sure each rifle and pistol have a loaded magazine inserted, and the action is charged. 4) Make sure all weapons are on "SAFE" (gotta think of the non-combatants). 5) Identify and fortify your "last stand" postion. 6) Stack all canned goods and sufficient water supply to to "out-last the looters". 7) Curse the day you let your wife convince you to wait until the last minute to do all this. 8) Take aim at the front door. 9) Wait.
.45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly
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"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass..." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
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"The staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - J. Jystad, 2001 -
PompeyBoy3 wrote:
Where is 'here'?
Am I being groomed? Cos my mum said I'm not allowed to give that sort of information out to strange men on the internet. Live near Lichfield, work on the outskirts of Walsall.
Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends.
ChrisElston wrote:
PompeyBoy3 wrote: Where is 'here'?
ChrisElston wrote:
my mum said I'm not allowed to give that sort of information out to strange me
ChrisElston wrote:
Live near Lichfield
You didn't listen to your mum!
Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. or "Drink. Get drunk. Fall over." - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre
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Here's mine: 0) Look out window, observe snow accumulating on ground. 1) Pour a 2nd cup of coffee 2) Setup defensive fall-back positions throughout house with at least 200 rounds of 5.56 Nato, and 50 rounds of .45 ACP at each position. 3) Make sure each rifle and pistol have a loaded magazine inserted, and the action is charged. 4) Make sure all weapons are on "SAFE" (gotta think of the non-combatants). 5) Identify and fortify your "last stand" postion. 6) Stack all canned goods and sufficient water supply to to "out-last the looters". 7) Curse the day you let your wife convince you to wait until the last minute to do all this. 8) Take aim at the front door. 9) Wait.
.45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly
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"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass..." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
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"The staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - J. Jystad, 2001John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote:
- Make sure all weapons are on "SAFE" (gotta think of the non-combatants).
Wait, weapons have a safe mode? What do they do? Taunt your would-be assailant?
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Here's mine: 0) Look out window, observe snow accumulating on ground. 1) Pour a 2nd cup of coffee 2) Setup defensive fall-back positions throughout house with at least 200 rounds of 5.56 Nato, and 50 rounds of .45 ACP at each position. 3) Make sure each rifle and pistol have a loaded magazine inserted, and the action is charged. 4) Make sure all weapons are on "SAFE" (gotta think of the non-combatants). 5) Identify and fortify your "last stand" postion. 6) Stack all canned goods and sufficient water supply to to "out-last the looters". 7) Curse the day you let your wife convince you to wait until the last minute to do all this. 8) Take aim at the front door. 9) Wait.
.45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly
-----
"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass..." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
-----
"The staggering layers of obscenity in your statement make it a work of art on so many levels." - J. Jystad, 2001An simple RPG or JAVELIN in top attack mode, should be a suitable countermeasure to your "so called" armaments.
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John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote:
- Make sure all weapons are on "SAFE" (gotta think of the non-combatants).
Wait, weapons have a safe mode? What do they do? Taunt your would-be assailant?
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ChrisElston wrote:
PompeyBoy3 wrote: Where is 'here'?
ChrisElston wrote:
my mum said I'm not allowed to give that sort of information out to strange me
ChrisElston wrote:
Live near Lichfield
You didn't listen to your mum!
Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. or "Drink. Get drunk. Fall over." - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre
Nagy Vilmos wrote:
You didn't listen to your mum!
Too right, she still thinks you should unplug everything electrical when you go out to avoid fires, and tidy up before you go on holiday in case you get burgled.
Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends.
