Overheard Conversation of Software Tester buying a Car.
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Tester - Can I drive the car with my eyes closed? Salesman - No you can't drive the car with your eyes closed. Tester - If I repeatedly kick the indicator stalk, will it break? Salesman - Probably. Tester - Hurrumph. Tester - If I deliberately crash the car at high speed off a cliff am I likely to be injured? Salesman - The car is not intended for that purpose. Tester - Hurrumph. Tester - Does the car come with a manual? Salesman - Yes! Tester - Can the manual be used to light fires? Salesman - Yes, but that is not its intended purpose. Tester - Erm, if I get in the car and dont follow signs, disregard my driver training, deliberately misuse the controls will I get home safely? Salesman - Probably not. Tester - Bah, what kind of car is this? Tester - Are its headlights sledgehammer proof? Salesman - No. Tester - Can it read my mind? Salesman - No. Tester - If I dive out of the door at 60 mph will I be safe, and the car find its own way home? Salesman - No. Tester - If I disregard every rule of logic and deliberately try and injure people by driving recklessly on the pavements will the car keep me and the pedestrians safe? Salesman - No.
Is that it? No denouement? No Punchline? Sheesh, I hear McDonalds are hiring, I would run along if I were you.
------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]
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Tester - Can I drive the car with my eyes closed? Salesman - No you can't drive the car with your eyes closed. Tester - If I repeatedly kick the indicator stalk, will it break? Salesman - Probably. Tester - Hurrumph. Tester - If I deliberately crash the car at high speed off a cliff am I likely to be injured? Salesman - The car is not intended for that purpose. Tester - Hurrumph. Tester - Does the car come with a manual? Salesman - Yes! Tester - Can the manual be used to light fires? Salesman - Yes, but that is not its intended purpose. Tester - Erm, if I get in the car and dont follow signs, disregard my driver training, deliberately misuse the controls will I get home safely? Salesman - Probably not. Tester - Bah, what kind of car is this? Tester - Are its headlights sledgehammer proof? Salesman - No. Tester - Can it read my mind? Salesman - No. Tester - If I dive out of the door at 60 mph will I be safe, and the car find its own way home? Salesman - No. Tester - If I disregard every rule of logic and deliberately try and injure people by driving recklessly on the pavements will the car keep me and the pedestrians safe? Salesman - No.
Tester - So do I get the job? Salesman - No, we already have the crash test dummy position filled. Marc
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OP - If I post crap in the lounge, will I get high votes. Us - No.
I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.
Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads
Me - Mr O'Handjob are you a tester. Mr O'Handjob - Yes.
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Tester - Can I drive the car with my eyes closed? Salesman - No you can't drive the car with your eyes closed. Tester - If I repeatedly kick the indicator stalk, will it break? Salesman - Probably. Tester - Hurrumph. Tester - If I deliberately crash the car at high speed off a cliff am I likely to be injured? Salesman - The car is not intended for that purpose. Tester - Hurrumph. Tester - Does the car come with a manual? Salesman - Yes! Tester - Can the manual be used to light fires? Salesman - Yes, but that is not its intended purpose. Tester - Erm, if I get in the car and dont follow signs, disregard my driver training, deliberately misuse the controls will I get home safely? Salesman - Probably not. Tester - Bah, what kind of car is this? Tester - Are its headlights sledgehammer proof? Salesman - No. Tester - Can it read my mind? Salesman - No. Tester - If I dive out of the door at 60 mph will I be safe, and the car find its own way home? Salesman - No. Tester - If I disregard every rule of logic and deliberately try and injure people by driving recklessly on the pavements will the car keep me and the pedestrians safe? Salesman - No.
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Me - Mr O'Handjob are you a tester. Mr O'Handjob - Yes.
Reason for my vote to remove: Unnecessary rudeness. Was Pete O'Hanlon rude to you? No. So why be rude to him, child?
Real men don't use instructions. They are only the manufacturers opinion on how to put the thing together.
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Reason for my vote to remove: Unnecessary rudeness. Was Pete O'Hanlon rude to you? No. So why be rude to him, child?
Real men don't use instructions. They are only the manufacturers opinion on how to put the thing together.
[quote]OP -If I post crap in the lounge, will I get high votes. Us - No. [/quote] This isn't rude? and an attack on a new member? I was just going with the flow....
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[quote]OP -If I post crap in the lounge, will I get high votes. Us - No. [/quote] This isn't rude? and an attack on a new member? I was just going with the flow....
Hugh Jarce 1 wrote:
and an attack on a new member?
You are obviously one of the, as they call it here, sock puppets. No new member joins a programming site and makes a post like this his first. Fake.
...byte till it megahertz... my donation to web rubbish
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Me - Mr O'Handjob are you a tester. Mr O'Handjob - Yes.
Ooh. I am cut to the quick by such a shining wit. You are obviously an intellectual giant among pygmies, judging by the subtlety of your post. I stand in awe of your Oscar Wilde style wit.
I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.
Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads
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Ooh. I am cut to the quick by such a shining wit. You are obviously an intellectual giant among pygmies, judging by the subtlety of your post. I stand in awe of your Oscar Wilde style wit.
I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.
Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads
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[quote]OP -If I post crap in the lounge, will I get high votes. Us - No. [/quote] This isn't rude? and an attack on a new member? I was just going with the flow....
Rude? No - I'd say it is a statement of fact, myself. Attack on a new member? No. An attack on a new member would be much, much more messy... BTW: If you highlight the text you want to quote, and press the "Quote selected Text" button, it shows quotes much nicer.
Hugh Jarce 1 wrote:
[quote]OP -If I post crap in the lounge, will I get high votes. Us - No. [/quote]
Will be produced by:
<blockquote class="FQ"><div class="FQA">Hugh Jarce 1 wrote:</div>[quote]OP -If I post crap in the lounge, will I get high votes.
Us - No. [/quote]</blockquote>Real men don't use instructions. They are only the manufacturers opinion on how to put the thing together.
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Wiktionary[^] - I am sure with a bit of work, he'll work out the longer words...
Real men don't use instructions. They are only the manufacturers opinion on how to put the thing together.
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Oh I certainly hope so. I'd hate to think that somebody who was subtle enough to come up with Mr O'Handjob failed to spot it.
I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.
Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads
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Oh I certainly hope so. I'd hate to think that somebody who was subtle enough to come up with Mr O'Handjob failed to spot it.
I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.
Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads
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[quote]OP -If I post crap in the lounge, will I get high votes. Us - No. [/quote] This isn't rude? and an attack on a new member? I was just going with the flow....
Hugh Jarce 1 wrote:
I was just going with the flow....
That's where you went wrong ;)
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And don't forget his glowing testimonials.
Henry Minute Do not read medical books! You could die of a misprint. - Mark Twain Girl: (staring) "Why do you need an icy cucumber?" “I want to report a fraud. The government is lying to us all.” I wouldn't let CG touch my Abacus!
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And don't forget his glowing testimonials.
Henry Minute Do not read medical books! You could die of a misprint. - Mark Twain Girl: (staring) "Why do you need an icy cucumber?" “I want to report a fraud. The government is lying to us all.” I wouldn't let CG touch my Abacus!
Henry Minute wrote:
And don't forget his glowing testimonials
Has he not been putting the cream on them again?
------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]
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Tester - Can I drive the car with my eyes closed? Salesman - No you can't drive the car with your eyes closed. Tester - If I repeatedly kick the indicator stalk, will it break? Salesman - Probably. Tester - Hurrumph. Tester - If I deliberately crash the car at high speed off a cliff am I likely to be injured? Salesman - The car is not intended for that purpose. Tester - Hurrumph. Tester - Does the car come with a manual? Salesman - Yes! Tester - Can the manual be used to light fires? Salesman - Yes, but that is not its intended purpose. Tester - Erm, if I get in the car and dont follow signs, disregard my driver training, deliberately misuse the controls will I get home safely? Salesman - Probably not. Tester - Bah, what kind of car is this? Tester - Are its headlights sledgehammer proof? Salesman - No. Tester - Can it read my mind? Salesman - No. Tester - If I dive out of the door at 60 mph will I be safe, and the car find its own way home? Salesman - No. Tester - If I disregard every rule of logic and deliberately try and injure people by driving recklessly on the pavements will the car keep me and the pedestrians safe? Salesman - No.
Huge Arse: I'm a pointless wanker. Everyone: Yes, you are.
"If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair. nils illegitimus carborundum me, me, me
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Huge Arse: I'm a pointless wanker. Everyone: Yes, you are.
"If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair. nils illegitimus carborundum me, me, me
