Relating what you do to the Others
-
What do you do when your significant other, or friends outside of IT, ask that terrible question; So what did you do today? I could tell if I had a good day at work by whether I was happy with the explanation I gave to Janina about what I had done that day. She did not have to understand a single word, so long as it felt right, if it "justified" the hours spent. Justified not in the sense of bringing money in but in making yourself happy. Some days though I would get home and struggle to explain a single thing I had done that day. Then I knew it had been a bad day. What about those of you who have worked outside of IT before you became one of us. Are other industries easier to justify day in and day out? Also have you ever had the experience of being in the middle of trying to explain what you do to someone and having, for lack of less grandiouse word, an epiphany? You stop mid sentence and the light dawns and you say out loud "What the hell am I actually doing?" Do some of you very strictly keep work thoughts and talk inbetween office hours and "life" outside of office hours? Are you happy with that?
Paul Watson
Bluegrass
Cape Town, South AfricaColin Davies wrote: ...can you imagine a John Simmons stalker !
-
What do you do when your significant other, or friends outside of IT, ask that terrible question; So what did you do today? I could tell if I had a good day at work by whether I was happy with the explanation I gave to Janina about what I had done that day. She did not have to understand a single word, so long as it felt right, if it "justified" the hours spent. Justified not in the sense of bringing money in but in making yourself happy. Some days though I would get home and struggle to explain a single thing I had done that day. Then I knew it had been a bad day. What about those of you who have worked outside of IT before you became one of us. Are other industries easier to justify day in and day out? Also have you ever had the experience of being in the middle of trying to explain what you do to someone and having, for lack of less grandiouse word, an epiphany? You stop mid sentence and the light dawns and you say out loud "What the hell am I actually doing?" Do some of you very strictly keep work thoughts and talk inbetween office hours and "life" outside of office hours? Are you happy with that?
Paul Watson
Bluegrass
Cape Town, South AfricaColin Davies wrote: ...can you imagine a John Simmons stalker !
I find most really don't care, or don't understand, and it frustates me to no end that this communication is one-sided, so I find I don't even bother anymore, or keep it very, very brief. Likewise, however, I don't like discussing work outside of work with co-workers, mainly because it degenerates into a bitch session, and I can't help feeling I'm wasting my free time discussing things I can't fix at the moment anyway. The other side is, it's easy to discuss work and hide behind it, because you know you have that in common, thereby never really getting to know your co-workers. On the other hand, I have no trouble sharing my activities outside of work with my co-workers when they ask "What did you do this weekend?". Another aspect of keeping work and "life" seperate is that, I've just spent the past 8+ hours dealing with it, my mind wants new input. BW "I'm coming with you! I got you fired, it's the least I can do. Well, the least I could do is absolutely nothing, but I'll go you one better and come along!" - Homer J. Simpson
-
What do you do when your significant other, or friends outside of IT, ask that terrible question; So what did you do today? I could tell if I had a good day at work by whether I was happy with the explanation I gave to Janina about what I had done that day. She did not have to understand a single word, so long as it felt right, if it "justified" the hours spent. Justified not in the sense of bringing money in but in making yourself happy. Some days though I would get home and struggle to explain a single thing I had done that day. Then I knew it had been a bad day. What about those of you who have worked outside of IT before you became one of us. Are other industries easier to justify day in and day out? Also have you ever had the experience of being in the middle of trying to explain what you do to someone and having, for lack of less grandiouse word, an epiphany? You stop mid sentence and the light dawns and you say out loud "What the hell am I actually doing?" Do some of you very strictly keep work thoughts and talk inbetween office hours and "life" outside of office hours? Are you happy with that?
Paul Watson
Bluegrass
Cape Town, South AfricaColin Davies wrote: ...can you imagine a John Simmons stalker !
Except for my few techie friends, and the 3 colleagues in our IT dept, no-one understands what I do. I was trying to explain to my mother the other day. She didn't understand a word I said. So she asked my husband to explain, and he gave an explanation she was entirely satisfied with. Apparently he doesn't understand what I do either - I didn't recognise anything he said as an explanation of my daily work! :rolleyes: I find that as soon as I mention any further detail than working in IT, the majority of people get this curious vacant expression. At first it bothered me, but I soon realised that it is probably boring to them, or they would have taken a similar career route. Paul Watson wrote: Do some of you very strictly keep work thoughts and talk inbetween office hours and "life" outside of office hours? Are you happy with that? I usually continue thinking about stuff I'm working on, well, on and off. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night with a solution :-O . I have just learnt not to bore those around me with the details, unless they are programmers too. Then we have a field day, but it's pretty unfair to do this if my husband / their girlfriends / whoever are also around. After all - that's what CP is for isn't it? :-D
I knew it would end badly when I first met Chris in a Canberra alleyway and he said 'try some - it won't hurt you'..... - Christian Graus on Code Project outages A moment of silence please. A programmer's best friend has passed beyond that great exception in the sky.... - Mark Conger on "The coffee machine has died"
-
Except for my few techie friends, and the 3 colleagues in our IT dept, no-one understands what I do. I was trying to explain to my mother the other day. She didn't understand a word I said. So she asked my husband to explain, and he gave an explanation she was entirely satisfied with. Apparently he doesn't understand what I do either - I didn't recognise anything he said as an explanation of my daily work! :rolleyes: I find that as soon as I mention any further detail than working in IT, the majority of people get this curious vacant expression. At first it bothered me, but I soon realised that it is probably boring to them, or they would have taken a similar career route. Paul Watson wrote: Do some of you very strictly keep work thoughts and talk inbetween office hours and "life" outside of office hours? Are you happy with that? I usually continue thinking about stuff I'm working on, well, on and off. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night with a solution :-O . I have just learnt not to bore those around me with the details, unless they are programmers too. Then we have a field day, but it's pretty unfair to do this if my husband / their girlfriends / whoever are also around. After all - that's what CP is for isn't it? :-D
I knew it would end badly when I first met Chris in a Canberra alleyway and he said 'try some - it won't hurt you'..... - Christian Graus on Code Project outages A moment of silence please. A programmer's best friend has passed beyond that great exception in the sky.... - Mark Conger on "The coffee machine has died"
Megan Forbes wrote: I have just learnt not to bore those around me with the details I am quite a reserved person when it comes to myself, no really I am! Every line that comes out of my mouth I wonder if the other is bored witless by it... and that just invariably ends up in me clamming up and talking about the weather. Yet when I do break through that I often find the other person gets excited and interested as well. My enthusiasm envelopes them and brings them along. Details are not so important. Surely you have met those "interesting" people who manage to do that all the time. They could be relating the mating ritual of lesser spotted lemurs and yet you find yourself drawn into it and enthralled because they are just so damned enthusiastic and happy as they talk. You might not understand a word, but it just grabs you anyway. The hard bit is convincing yourself that you too can pull it off without coming across as a bore or inconsiderate. Megan Forbes wrote: At first it bothered me, but I soon realised that it is probably boring to them, or they would have taken a similar career route. Janina used to explain the makings of preservatives used in Inna Parmans Herbs & Spices. You think "Huh, how dull" but I cannot relate the enthusiasm she had for it while she was telling me (she is doing food technology, so it will be her profession.) That enthusiasm caught me up and made me interested in the subject. How incredibly odd! Or am I just rather strange and easily interested in all manner of things? :) I often wonder if some people just have this innate passion in them which can be sparked easily, and that others don't. This sounds awfully close to that other post awhile back where I was wondering how people can not have ambition...
Paul Watson
Bluegrass
Cape Town, South AfricaColin Davies wrote: ...can you imagine a John Simmons stalker !
-
What do you do when your significant other, or friends outside of IT, ask that terrible question; So what did you do today? I could tell if I had a good day at work by whether I was happy with the explanation I gave to Janina about what I had done that day. She did not have to understand a single word, so long as it felt right, if it "justified" the hours spent. Justified not in the sense of bringing money in but in making yourself happy. Some days though I would get home and struggle to explain a single thing I had done that day. Then I knew it had been a bad day. What about those of you who have worked outside of IT before you became one of us. Are other industries easier to justify day in and day out? Also have you ever had the experience of being in the middle of trying to explain what you do to someone and having, for lack of less grandiouse word, an epiphany? You stop mid sentence and the light dawns and you say out loud "What the hell am I actually doing?" Do some of you very strictly keep work thoughts and talk inbetween office hours and "life" outside of office hours? Are you happy with that?
Paul Watson
Bluegrass
Cape Town, South AfricaColin Davies wrote: ...can you imagine a John Simmons stalker !
I always try to explain things in the least complicated terms possible. I really have to water down the explanation of what I have done through the course of the day. I have found that whenever my significant other ask how my day was, what she is really looking for is an opportunity to begin a line of communication with me. Early in our relationship, when she asked how my day was, I would begin to explain everything to her in detail, just like I would to any other friend. However, most of my other friends are software engineers and they understand the details whereas my significant other does not. It certainly did not take long for her to get that vacant stare and start mindlessly repeating "uhm hum" every few minutes as I continued the conversation. After going through this exercise several times, I began to simply say something like, "My day was fine, just the usual" when asked. I quickly realized that this left her feeling like I did not wish to share my feelings or communicate with her, which almost always had undesirable ramifications before the evening was over. As time went on, I finally understood that when she asked how my day went, she was really looking for an opportunity to find out how I was feeling and what my thoughts were. It seems that this is something that is very important for women to share with each other, while men just simply do not practice this ritual among themselves. Once I had grasped this realization, it became clear to me that the best way to approach the situation was to water the technical details down as much as possible so that I was able to simply give her an indication of what I had dealt with during the course of the day while also helping her to understand my thoughts and feelings (this is what she was really wanting to know to begin with). This approach has always seemed to work well for me.
-
Megan Forbes wrote: I have just learnt not to bore those around me with the details I am quite a reserved person when it comes to myself, no really I am! Every line that comes out of my mouth I wonder if the other is bored witless by it... and that just invariably ends up in me clamming up and talking about the weather. Yet when I do break through that I often find the other person gets excited and interested as well. My enthusiasm envelopes them and brings them along. Details are not so important. Surely you have met those "interesting" people who manage to do that all the time. They could be relating the mating ritual of lesser spotted lemurs and yet you find yourself drawn into it and enthralled because they are just so damned enthusiastic and happy as they talk. You might not understand a word, but it just grabs you anyway. The hard bit is convincing yourself that you too can pull it off without coming across as a bore or inconsiderate. Megan Forbes wrote: At first it bothered me, but I soon realised that it is probably boring to them, or they would have taken a similar career route. Janina used to explain the makings of preservatives used in Inna Parmans Herbs & Spices. You think "Huh, how dull" but I cannot relate the enthusiasm she had for it while she was telling me (she is doing food technology, so it will be her profession.) That enthusiasm caught me up and made me interested in the subject. How incredibly odd! Or am I just rather strange and easily interested in all manner of things? :) I often wonder if some people just have this innate passion in them which can be sparked easily, and that others don't. This sounds awfully close to that other post awhile back where I was wondering how people can not have ambition...
Paul Watson
Bluegrass
Cape Town, South AfricaColin Davies wrote: ...can you imagine a John Simmons stalker !
Paul Watson wrote: Surely you have met those "interesting" people who manage to do that all the time. They could be relating the mating ritual of lesser spotted lemurs and yet you find yourself drawn into it and enthralled because they are just so damned enthusiastic and happy as they talk. You might not understand a word, but it just grabs you anyway You put the key here... Paul Watson wrote: Or am I just rather strange and easily interested in all manner of things? ...if there is an interested, intelligent person on the other end, almost any subject can be interesting. The problem is, many people have very little interest in things that don't affect their lives directly. They miss out on a lot :-D
I knew it would end badly when I first met Chris in a Canberra alleyway and he said 'try some - it won't hurt you'..... - Christian Graus on Code Project outages A moment of silence please. A programmer's best friend has passed beyond that great exception in the sky.... - Mark Conger on "The coffee machine has died"
-
I always try to explain things in the least complicated terms possible. I really have to water down the explanation of what I have done through the course of the day. I have found that whenever my significant other ask how my day was, what she is really looking for is an opportunity to begin a line of communication with me. Early in our relationship, when she asked how my day was, I would begin to explain everything to her in detail, just like I would to any other friend. However, most of my other friends are software engineers and they understand the details whereas my significant other does not. It certainly did not take long for her to get that vacant stare and start mindlessly repeating "uhm hum" every few minutes as I continued the conversation. After going through this exercise several times, I began to simply say something like, "My day was fine, just the usual" when asked. I quickly realized that this left her feeling like I did not wish to share my feelings or communicate with her, which almost always had undesirable ramifications before the evening was over. As time went on, I finally understood that when she asked how my day went, she was really looking for an opportunity to find out how I was feeling and what my thoughts were. It seems that this is something that is very important for women to share with each other, while men just simply do not practice this ritual among themselves. Once I had grasped this realization, it became clear to me that the best way to approach the situation was to water the technical details down as much as possible so that I was able to simply give her an indication of what I had dealt with during the course of the day while also helping her to understand my thoughts and feelings (this is what she was really wanting to know to begin with). This approach has always seemed to work well for me.
Jack Knife wrote: while also helping her to understand my thoughts and feelings (this is what she was really wanting to know to begin with). This approach has always seemed to work well for me. :-D You had me chuckling with agreement through the whole post. For me though it took Janina literally having to spell it out before I figured out what she was really asking. I felt there was no way I could relate what I done that day so I always just said "Fine, and yours?"* LOL I remember her yelling "Damnit I really want to know Paul! For gods sake open up!" Funny but sad too. :| Jack Knife wrote: It seems that this is something that is very important for women to share with each other, while men just simply do not practice this ritual among themselves We are so much more able to bottle it up and be content with it. Sometimes the bottling though ends up in it all coming out at once and in a terrible state. But most of the time we can frustrate the hell out of women by just smiling, shrugging and being happy with just being happy. I often had to tell Janina that I was just fine, that there really was nothing more to me being fine than just... well just being fine. There was nothing more. Why should there be? Just be content sometimes. Often she would not believe me and try and work up a story as to why I was content, just to satisfy her belief that everything had to be an issue with a resolution that could be explained. :-D None of this stuff comes out until you actually live with someone. * I actually have quite a knack for quickly passing questions back to people. I feel like I am imposing on others when I talk about my day or how I feel or what I think... Strange that. Or maybe others really don't care how I feel/what I did and just want to be asked themselves (bit of truth in that I reckon)
Paul Watson
Bluegrass
Cape Town, South AfricaColin Davies wrote: ...can you imagine a John Simmons stalker !
-
What do you do when your significant other, or friends outside of IT, ask that terrible question; So what did you do today? I could tell if I had a good day at work by whether I was happy with the explanation I gave to Janina about what I had done that day. She did not have to understand a single word, so long as it felt right, if it "justified" the hours spent. Justified not in the sense of bringing money in but in making yourself happy. Some days though I would get home and struggle to explain a single thing I had done that day. Then I knew it had been a bad day. What about those of you who have worked outside of IT before you became one of us. Are other industries easier to justify day in and day out? Also have you ever had the experience of being in the middle of trying to explain what you do to someone and having, for lack of less grandiouse word, an epiphany? You stop mid sentence and the light dawns and you say out loud "What the hell am I actually doing?" Do some of you very strictly keep work thoughts and talk inbetween office hours and "life" outside of office hours? Are you happy with that?
Paul Watson
Bluegrass
Cape Town, South AfricaColin Davies wrote: ...can you imagine a John Simmons stalker !
Paul Watson wrote: What do you do when your significant other, or friends outside of IT, ask that terrible question; So what did you do today? "I sit in front of a PC typing random things" It saves time... Here's the thing - at one point, i would tell anyone and everyone what i was working on, what i thought of the computer industry, where i felt we were all headed... At some point, i started boring myself with it, and stopped. I enjoy programming, and talking about programming, but i don't feel the need to do either 24/7.
---
Shog9 Life seems pretty easy when it's from my easy chair And you're burnin up inside and no one cares...
-
Paul Watson wrote: Surely you have met those "interesting" people who manage to do that all the time. They could be relating the mating ritual of lesser spotted lemurs and yet you find yourself drawn into it and enthralled because they are just so damned enthusiastic and happy as they talk. You might not understand a word, but it just grabs you anyway You put the key here... Paul Watson wrote: Or am I just rather strange and easily interested in all manner of things? ...if there is an interested, intelligent person on the other end, almost any subject can be interesting. The problem is, many people have very little interest in things that don't affect their lives directly. They miss out on a lot :-D
I knew it would end badly when I first met Chris in a Canberra alleyway and he said 'try some - it won't hurt you'..... - Christian Graus on Code Project outages A moment of silence please. A programmer's best friend has passed beyond that great exception in the sky.... - Mark Conger on "The coffee machine has died"
Megan Forbes wrote: many people have very little interest in things that don't affect their lives directly. They miss out on a lot You said it! I finally found a woman recently, who has a strong curiosity. it's very refreshing, and very attractive I might add. :-D BW "I'm coming with you! I got you fired, it's the least I can do. Well, the least I could do is absolutely nothing, but I'll go you one better and come along!" - Homer J. Simpson
-
Paul Watson wrote: Surely you have met those "interesting" people who manage to do that all the time. They could be relating the mating ritual of lesser spotted lemurs and yet you find yourself drawn into it and enthralled because they are just so damned enthusiastic and happy as they talk. You might not understand a word, but it just grabs you anyway You put the key here... Paul Watson wrote: Or am I just rather strange and easily interested in all manner of things? ...if there is an interested, intelligent person on the other end, almost any subject can be interesting. The problem is, many people have very little interest in things that don't affect their lives directly. They miss out on a lot :-D
I knew it would end badly when I first met Chris in a Canberra alleyway and he said 'try some - it won't hurt you'..... - Christian Graus on Code Project outages A moment of silence please. A programmer's best friend has passed beyond that great exception in the sky.... - Mark Conger on "The coffee machine has died"
Megan Forbes wrote: The problem is, many people have very little interest in things that don't affect their lives directly. They miss out on a lot God yes! *sigh* I just want to know everything about everything, but I know I cannot and then I dither... ugh dithering sucks. Excuse my lack of eloquence. And I want to slap people who worry about their white picket fences but do not have a glimmer of an opinion on how that white picket fence used to be the matter of a star! Anyone know a tried and tested method of choosing, focusing and sticking to a particular subject? I would be duller but a lot saner :-D
Paul Watson
Bluegrass
Cape Town, South AfricaColin Davies wrote: ...can you imagine a John Simmons stalker !
-
Jack Knife wrote: while also helping her to understand my thoughts and feelings (this is what she was really wanting to know to begin with). This approach has always seemed to work well for me. :-D You had me chuckling with agreement through the whole post. For me though it took Janina literally having to spell it out before I figured out what she was really asking. I felt there was no way I could relate what I done that day so I always just said "Fine, and yours?"* LOL I remember her yelling "Damnit I really want to know Paul! For gods sake open up!" Funny but sad too. :| Jack Knife wrote: It seems that this is something that is very important for women to share with each other, while men just simply do not practice this ritual among themselves We are so much more able to bottle it up and be content with it. Sometimes the bottling though ends up in it all coming out at once and in a terrible state. But most of the time we can frustrate the hell out of women by just smiling, shrugging and being happy with just being happy. I often had to tell Janina that I was just fine, that there really was nothing more to me being fine than just... well just being fine. There was nothing more. Why should there be? Just be content sometimes. Often she would not believe me and try and work up a story as to why I was content, just to satisfy her belief that everything had to be an issue with a resolution that could be explained. :-D None of this stuff comes out until you actually live with someone. * I actually have quite a knack for quickly passing questions back to people. I feel like I am imposing on others when I talk about my day or how I feel or what I think... Strange that. Or maybe others really don't care how I feel/what I did and just want to be asked themselves (bit of truth in that I reckon)
Paul Watson
Bluegrass
Cape Town, South AfricaColin Davies wrote: ...can you imagine a John Simmons stalker !
I have to agree with you 100%. None of this actually does come out until you have lived with someone for a while. I only wish that I had figured it out a little sooner, because it sure would have smoothed out a lot of the misunderstandings we had early on. :-D
-
Megan Forbes wrote: many people have very little interest in things that don't affect their lives directly. They miss out on a lot You said it! I finally found a woman recently, who has a strong curiosity. it's very refreshing, and very attractive I might add. :-D BW "I'm coming with you! I got you fired, it's the least I can do. Well, the least I could do is absolutely nothing, but I'll go you one better and come along!" - Homer J. Simpson
brianwelsch wrote: I finally found a woman recently, who has a strong curiosity. it's very refreshing, and very attractive I might add You see!!! Curiosity, passion, ambition, sheer enthusiasm! That is all I ask! She does not have to cook worth a damn or know anything about darning my socks... just be enthusiastic! PLEASE! Have an opinion! Argue with me all day but don't, for heavens sake, sit there and agree with everything I say just to be agreeable. Be difficult! :-D Shog Brian... where did you find her? Does she have a sister? :rolleyes:
Paul Watson
Bluegrass
Cape Town, South AfricaColin Davies wrote: ...can you imagine a John Simmons stalker !
-
brianwelsch wrote: I finally found a woman recently, who has a strong curiosity. it's very refreshing, and very attractive I might add You see!!! Curiosity, passion, ambition, sheer enthusiasm! That is all I ask! She does not have to cook worth a damn or know anything about darning my socks... just be enthusiastic! PLEASE! Have an opinion! Argue with me all day but don't, for heavens sake, sit there and agree with everything I say just to be agreeable. Be difficult! :-D Shog Brian... where did you find her? Does she have a sister? :rolleyes:
Paul Watson
Bluegrass
Cape Town, South AfricaColin Davies wrote: ...can you imagine a John Simmons stalker !
Paul Watson wrote: where did you find her? Does she have a sister? :laugh: I used to work with her, just recently started to spend a little time together. Her sister is married. Sorry. BW "I'm coming with you! I got you fired, it's the least I can do. Well, the least I could do is absolutely nothing, but I'll go you one better and come along!" - Homer J. Simpson
-
Paul Watson wrote: What do you do when your significant other, or friends outside of IT, ask that terrible question; So what did you do today? "I sit in front of a PC typing random things" It saves time... Here's the thing - at one point, i would tell anyone and everyone what i was working on, what i thought of the computer industry, where i felt we were all headed... At some point, i started boring myself with it, and stopped. I enjoy programming, and talking about programming, but i don't feel the need to do either 24/7.
---
Shog9 Life seems pretty easy when it's from my easy chair And you're burnin up inside and no one cares...
Shog9 wrote: It saves time... But is hardly fulfilling, right? Or is it? Does it even matter to you? Shog9 wrote: but i don't feel the need to do either 24/7. Sure of course not. But when you get home to your beautiful wife, is she satisfied with just "I sit in front of a PC typing random things"?
Paul Watson
Bluegrass
Cape Town, South AfricaColin Davies wrote: ...can you imagine a John Simmons stalker !
-
Jack Knife wrote: while also helping her to understand my thoughts and feelings (this is what she was really wanting to know to begin with). This approach has always seemed to work well for me. :-D You had me chuckling with agreement through the whole post. For me though it took Janina literally having to spell it out before I figured out what she was really asking. I felt there was no way I could relate what I done that day so I always just said "Fine, and yours?"* LOL I remember her yelling "Damnit I really want to know Paul! For gods sake open up!" Funny but sad too. :| Jack Knife wrote: It seems that this is something that is very important for women to share with each other, while men just simply do not practice this ritual among themselves We are so much more able to bottle it up and be content with it. Sometimes the bottling though ends up in it all coming out at once and in a terrible state. But most of the time we can frustrate the hell out of women by just smiling, shrugging and being happy with just being happy. I often had to tell Janina that I was just fine, that there really was nothing more to me being fine than just... well just being fine. There was nothing more. Why should there be? Just be content sometimes. Often she would not believe me and try and work up a story as to why I was content, just to satisfy her belief that everything had to be an issue with a resolution that could be explained. :-D None of this stuff comes out until you actually live with someone. * I actually have quite a knack for quickly passing questions back to people. I feel like I am imposing on others when I talk about my day or how I feel or what I think... Strange that. Or maybe others really don't care how I feel/what I did and just want to be asked themselves (bit of truth in that I reckon)
Paul Watson
Bluegrass
Cape Town, South AfricaColin Davies wrote: ...can you imagine a John Simmons stalker !
Paul Watson wrote: * I actually have quite a knack for quickly passing questions back to people. I feel like I am imposing on others when I talk about my day or how I feel or what I think... My typical response is "Not bad, and yours?", mostly because people are so used to "fine thanks." Paul Watson wrote: We are so much more able to bottle it up and be content with it. Sometimes the bottling though ends up in it all coming out at once and in a terrible state. But most of the time we can frustrate the hell out of women by just smiling, shrugging and being happy with just being happy. I often had to tell Janina that I was just fine, that there really was nothing more to me being fine than just... well just being fine. There was nothing more. Why should there be? Just be content sometimes. Often she would not believe me and try and work up a story as to why I was content, just to satisfy her belief that everything had to be an issue with a resolution that could be explained. One of The Most True Statements I've read in a long time. :-D :-D "Fine" is a perfectly natural state of being. There is no rhyme or reason to it: you just are. That's why I ramble so much. If you're short and quotable, there's a much greater danger of ending up in a sig. [Christopher Duncan on how to prevent yourself from ending up in a sig]
-
Shog9 wrote: It saves time... But is hardly fulfilling, right? Or is it? Does it even matter to you? Shog9 wrote: but i don't feel the need to do either 24/7. Sure of course not. But when you get home to your beautiful wife, is she satisfied with just "I sit in front of a PC typing random things"?
Paul Watson
Bluegrass
Cape Town, South AfricaColin Davies wrote: ...can you imagine a John Simmons stalker !
Paul Watson wrote: But when you get home to your beautiful wife, is she satisfied with just "I sit in front of a PC typing random things"? :laugh: I'll cross that bridge when i get to it... Paul Watson wrote: Does it even matter to you? Hard to say these days
---
Shog9 Life seems pretty easy when it's from my easy chair And you're burnin up inside and no one cares...
-
Paul Watson wrote: What do you do when your significant other, or friends outside of IT, ask that terrible question; So what did you do today? "I sit in front of a PC typing random things" It saves time... Here's the thing - at one point, i would tell anyone and everyone what i was working on, what i thought of the computer industry, where i felt we were all headed... At some point, i started boring myself with it, and stopped. I enjoy programming, and talking about programming, but i don't feel the need to do either 24/7.
---
Shog9 Life seems pretty easy when it's from my easy chair And you're burnin up inside and no one cares...
Shog9 wrote: "I sit in front of a PC typing random things" "I write programs on the computer." Most people, once they hear those words, their mind just turns off with a "sounds boring" comment. So I just say that I write code. And leave it at that. Most often, (now this just sounds mean), but I don't need to hear all about the nit-picky details of someone else's day, so if I keep it short, they'll do the same. My old gf used to go on and on about her day. Don't get me wrong, I loved her, but she could talk and talk and talk...:( I learnt more about recidivism of sex offenders than I ever thought I would (she was a pysch student). :-D Then again, if one of my friends who *does* understand what I do, then I'm more than happy to go into details if they want. :-D That's why I ramble so much. If you're short and quotable, there's a much greater danger of ending up in a sig. [Christopher Duncan on how to prevent yourself from ending up in a sig]
-
Paul Watson wrote: * I actually have quite a knack for quickly passing questions back to people. I feel like I am imposing on others when I talk about my day or how I feel or what I think... My typical response is "Not bad, and yours?", mostly because people are so used to "fine thanks." Paul Watson wrote: We are so much more able to bottle it up and be content with it. Sometimes the bottling though ends up in it all coming out at once and in a terrible state. But most of the time we can frustrate the hell out of women by just smiling, shrugging and being happy with just being happy. I often had to tell Janina that I was just fine, that there really was nothing more to me being fine than just... well just being fine. There was nothing more. Why should there be? Just be content sometimes. Often she would not believe me and try and work up a story as to why I was content, just to satisfy her belief that everything had to be an issue with a resolution that could be explained. One of The Most True Statements I've read in a long time. :-D :-D "Fine" is a perfectly natural state of being. There is no rhyme or reason to it: you just are. That's why I ramble so much. If you're short and quotable, there's a much greater danger of ending up in a sig. [Christopher Duncan on how to prevent yourself from ending up in a sig]
Atlantys wrote: My typical response is "Not bad, and yours?", mostly because people are so used to "fine thanks." So are you like me in having a knack at deflecting the question straight back without really responding? Or are you saying you say "Not bad..." to stop the whole Pavlov auto-response chain? I actually normally am quite enthusiastic when someone asks how I am... I don't go into detail, for fear of imposing, but I often say "Great! And you?" or "Flourishing thanks, and yourself?" I walk a fine line between being a sad person who is only ever "fine" or "not too bad" and imposing. Atlantys wrote: you just are. Sometimes it is just incredibly wonderful to simply exist. There is no possible way to explain it. You just know or you don't.
Paul Watson
Bluegrass
Cape Town, South AfricaColin Davies wrote: ...can you imagine a John Simmons stalker !
-
Shog9 wrote: "I sit in front of a PC typing random things" "I write programs on the computer." Most people, once they hear those words, their mind just turns off with a "sounds boring" comment. So I just say that I write code. And leave it at that. Most often, (now this just sounds mean), but I don't need to hear all about the nit-picky details of someone else's day, so if I keep it short, they'll do the same. My old gf used to go on and on about her day. Don't get me wrong, I loved her, but she could talk and talk and talk...:( I learnt more about recidivism of sex offenders than I ever thought I would (she was a pysch student). :-D Then again, if one of my friends who *does* understand what I do, then I'm more than happy to go into details if they want. :-D That's why I ramble so much. If you're short and quotable, there's a much greater danger of ending up in a sig. [Christopher Duncan on how to prevent yourself from ending up in a sig]
Atlantys wrote: "I write programs on the computer." Most people, once they hear those words, their mind just turns off with a "sounds boring" comment :laugh: So true. They quickly back out of the question for fear of you launching into an amble through your day and career which leaves them bored stiff. Got to love it though when you are at some do and you suddenly find yourself with someone in such a way that you two have to talk to each other, but have no idea what to talk about. Invariably the first words are "So *racks brain to remember persons name* Barbara... oh sorry it's Samantha... what do you do for a living?" One can almost hear the gods groaning in despair. Then again I once tried "What do you think about this whole swinging craze?" just to be different... did not work at all well :rolleyes:
Paul Watson
Bluegrass
Cape Town, South AfricaColin Davies wrote: ...can you imagine a John Simmons stalker !
-
What do you do when your significant other, or friends outside of IT, ask that terrible question; So what did you do today? I could tell if I had a good day at work by whether I was happy with the explanation I gave to Janina about what I had done that day. She did not have to understand a single word, so long as it felt right, if it "justified" the hours spent. Justified not in the sense of bringing money in but in making yourself happy. Some days though I would get home and struggle to explain a single thing I had done that day. Then I knew it had been a bad day. What about those of you who have worked outside of IT before you became one of us. Are other industries easier to justify day in and day out? Also have you ever had the experience of being in the middle of trying to explain what you do to someone and having, for lack of less grandiouse word, an epiphany? You stop mid sentence and the light dawns and you say out loud "What the hell am I actually doing?" Do some of you very strictly keep work thoughts and talk inbetween office hours and "life" outside of office hours? Are you happy with that?
Paul Watson
Bluegrass
Cape Town, South AfricaColin Davies wrote: ...can you imagine a John Simmons stalker !
When I worked at VoIP company and tried to explain what we did, many times the person would ask "but how do you make money?" No one has yet figured out the answer to that one, one reason I don't work there anymore.