The Tiger Mother and the lounge... [modified] THIS IS NOT ME, JUST AN EXCERPT FROM AN ARTICLE
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I would prefer my kids to be happy, than feel pressured to not enjoy life, be a child, or ever be anything less than the best. My son has had learning problems and I am overjoyed that he gets a C. If he's happy, I don't care what form that takes, so long as he's not breaking the law or hurting anyone. "not be the No. 1 student in every subject except gym and drama" What are the consequences for failing a requirement that, by definition, almost everyone is going to fail to achieve ?
Christian Graus Driven to the arms of OSX by Vista. Read my blog to find out how I've worked around bugs in Microsoft tools and frameworks.
not every one can be no.1 that is for sure... being good at something is a goal that can be achieved, being number one is not
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Anyone read this? http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704111504576059713528698754.html[^] Pasting an excerpt here: //BOF EXCERPT //*****THIS A EXCERPT FROM THE ARTICLE, NOT MY OWN DEEDS***** A lot of people wonder how Chinese parents raise such stereotypically successful kids. They wonder what these parents do to produce so many math whizzes and music prodigies, what it’s like inside the family, and whether they could do it too. Well, I can tell them, because I’ve done it. Here are some things my daughters, Sophia and Louisa, were never allowed to do: •attend a sleepover •have a playdate •be in a school play •complain about not being in a school play •watch TV or play computer games •choose their own extracurricular activities •get any grade less than an A •not be the No. 1 student in every subject except gym and drama •play any instrument other than the piano or violin •not play the piano or violin //EOF EXCERPT what do you think?
modified on Friday, January 28, 2011 11:23 AM
Cruel, unnecessary and probably counter-productive. When they are old enough to feel responsible for themselves, how well adjusted do you think they will be? How rebellious do you think they will get? How well do you think they will fit in with their peers? There are more important things in life than academic excellence alone: being able to relate to people, and enjoy yourself are important too.
Real men don't use instructions. They are only the manufacturers opinion on how to put the thing together.
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Anyone read this? http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704111504576059713528698754.html[^] Pasting an excerpt here: //BOF EXCERPT //*****THIS A EXCERPT FROM THE ARTICLE, NOT MY OWN DEEDS***** A lot of people wonder how Chinese parents raise such stereotypically successful kids. They wonder what these parents do to produce so many math whizzes and music prodigies, what it’s like inside the family, and whether they could do it too. Well, I can tell them, because I’ve done it. Here are some things my daughters, Sophia and Louisa, were never allowed to do: •attend a sleepover •have a playdate •be in a school play •complain about not being in a school play •watch TV or play computer games •choose their own extracurricular activities •get any grade less than an A •not be the No. 1 student in every subject except gym and drama •play any instrument other than the piano or violin •not play the piano or violin //EOF EXCERPT what do you think?
modified on Friday, January 28, 2011 11:23 AM
So that’s how the sociopaths are raised! Who knew?
There is only one Ashley Judd and Salma Hayek is her prophet! Advertise here – minimum three posts per day are guaranteed.
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iris.frigole wrote:
Here are some things my daughters, Sophia and Louisa, were never allowed to do:
You, my friend, are full of shit. I don't believe this for a minute. You are looking for a fight. No loving parent, in their right mind, would do this to their child unless they themselves were royally fucked up in the head. One vote me all you want.
You know, I responded as if it was genuine, but I couldn't help but feel it was a troll. Someone who did these things to their kids would probably think it was normal, and not post about it like this.
Christian Graus Driven to the arms of OSX by Vista. Read my blog to find out how I've worked around bugs in Microsoft tools and frameworks.
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Anyone read this? http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704111504576059713528698754.html[^] Pasting an excerpt here: //BOF EXCERPT //*****THIS A EXCERPT FROM THE ARTICLE, NOT MY OWN DEEDS***** A lot of people wonder how Chinese parents raise such stereotypically successful kids. They wonder what these parents do to produce so many math whizzes and music prodigies, what it’s like inside the family, and whether they could do it too. Well, I can tell them, because I’ve done it. Here are some things my daughters, Sophia and Louisa, were never allowed to do: •attend a sleepover •have a playdate •be in a school play •complain about not being in a school play •watch TV or play computer games •choose their own extracurricular activities •get any grade less than an A •not be the No. 1 student in every subject except gym and drama •play any instrument other than the piano or violin •not play the piano or violin //EOF EXCERPT what do you think?
modified on Friday, January 28, 2011 11:23 AM
Some say 'po-`tay-toe', other say '`poh-ta-to'. I'm more inclined to think of it as two different methods to achieving the same result(raising kids). Though I'd add that from a broad perspective, the world needs more than just math whizzes and musical prodigies for humanity to survive. And I pity the 5 year old who has to practice the piano for 3 hours every day. :)
Chris Meech I am Canadian. [heard in a local bar] In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is. [Yogi Berra] posting about Crystal Reports here is like discussing gay marriage on a catholic church’s website.[Nishant Sivakumar]
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Exactly - if he's stupid, we still love him and want him to be happy. My mum always pressured me to be top of the class and I remember feeling she cared more about telling her friends how smart I was, than about me or how I felt. I never want my kids to think that.
Christian Graus Driven to the arms of OSX by Vista. Read my blog to find out how I've worked around bugs in Microsoft tools and frameworks.
Exactly. My mother never did; she let us make our own decisions, and gave us all the support she could. But only as long as we would accept the consequences. Seems to have worked: I haven't gone on a killing spree yet!
Real men don't use instructions. They are only the manufacturers opinion on how to put the thing together.
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iris.frigole wrote:
Here are some things my daughters, Sophia and Louisa, were never allowed to do:
You, my friend, are full of shit. I don't believe this for a minute. You are looking for a fight. No loving parent, in their right mind, would do this to their child unless they themselves were royally fucked up in the head. One vote me all you want.
maybe i am misunderstanding you, or you ar emisunderstanding me... this is what AMy CHua writes in her article... not anything I have done to my own children
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Anyone read this? http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704111504576059713528698754.html[^] Pasting an excerpt here: //BOF EXCERPT //*****THIS A EXCERPT FROM THE ARTICLE, NOT MY OWN DEEDS***** A lot of people wonder how Chinese parents raise such stereotypically successful kids. They wonder what these parents do to produce so many math whizzes and music prodigies, what it’s like inside the family, and whether they could do it too. Well, I can tell them, because I’ve done it. Here are some things my daughters, Sophia and Louisa, were never allowed to do: •attend a sleepover •have a playdate •be in a school play •complain about not being in a school play •watch TV or play computer games •choose their own extracurricular activities •get any grade less than an A •not be the No. 1 student in every subject except gym and drama •play any instrument other than the piano or violin •not play the piano or violin //EOF EXCERPT what do you think?
modified on Friday, January 28, 2011 11:23 AM
My first instinct was that this was really absurd, and that she was bringing up her kids with extremely strict rules. And that they'd grow up missing out on a lot of fun. But now I think that it's not as simple as that. Kids don't all behave the same, and most kids are strongly affected by their upbringing. To these kids, from a very early age, the idea strongly fed into their minds is that they need to study, excel at academics, and then when they become doctors and lawyers with stunning salaries, then they can enjoy life. So perhaps the kids don't really grow up in an unhappy state. I reckon there will be the odd moment when they see other kids have fun and may wish they could do that too. But that happens even to normally brought up kids when they see friends having fun with drugs and high school sex. But they know it's wrong, because their parents taught them it's wrong and they move on. Similarly these Asian kids will wish they could have sleep over parties and xbox games too, but they are programmed into thinking that these are all wrong and that their main aim should be their future. This is probably analogous to religious values that parents give their kids. Christian parents bring up their kids as Christians, Muslims, Jews, Hindus etc. probably do the same. To a non-religious person, this would seem like the wrong thing to do , but eventually it's the parents' decision and the kids grow up with these beliefs strongly ingrained into their minds. Religious values, career goals etc. are things where most kids never get a choice. Very early on, parents feed them with what they think is the best way to do these things. So very few kids ever know any better. Eventually, we should not be quick to judge. Sometimes when you look deeper, and try and empathize with how a different mindset would perceive a situation, things look a lot different from what they did originally.
Regards, Nish
Latest article: Code Project Posts Analyzer for Windows Phone 7 My technology blog: voidnish.wordpress.com
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Anyone read this? http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704111504576059713528698754.html[^] Pasting an excerpt here: //BOF EXCERPT //*****THIS A EXCERPT FROM THE ARTICLE, NOT MY OWN DEEDS***** A lot of people wonder how Chinese parents raise such stereotypically successful kids. They wonder what these parents do to produce so many math whizzes and music prodigies, what it’s like inside the family, and whether they could do it too. Well, I can tell them, because I’ve done it. Here are some things my daughters, Sophia and Louisa, were never allowed to do: •attend a sleepover •have a playdate •be in a school play •complain about not being in a school play •watch TV or play computer games •choose their own extracurricular activities •get any grade less than an A •not be the No. 1 student in every subject except gym and drama •play any instrument other than the piano or violin •not play the piano or violin //EOF EXCERPT what do you think?
modified on Friday, January 28, 2011 11:23 AM
One word: Balance. If you think this is a balanced way to educate and raise a child, well then I guess you've answered your own question.
¡El diablo está en mis pantalones! ¡Mire, mire! SELECT * FROM User WHERE Clue > 0 0 rows returned Save an Orange - Use the VCF! Personal 3D projects Just Say No to Web 2 Point Blow
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iris.frigole wrote:
Here are some things my daughters, Sophia and Louisa, were never allowed to do:
You, my friend, are full of shit. I don't believe this for a minute. You are looking for a fight. No loving parent, in their right mind, would do this to their child unless they themselves were royally fucked up in the head. One vote me all you want.
Slacker007 wrote:
You, my friend, are full of sh*t. I don't believe this for a minute. You are looking for a fight.
:wtf: Dude, it's a wsj article! :~
Regards, Nish
Latest article: Code Project Posts Analyzer for Windows Phone 7 My technology blog: voidnish.wordpress.com
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Anyone read this? http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704111504576059713528698754.html[^] Pasting an excerpt here: //BOF EXCERPT //*****THIS A EXCERPT FROM THE ARTICLE, NOT MY OWN DEEDS***** A lot of people wonder how Chinese parents raise such stereotypically successful kids. They wonder what these parents do to produce so many math whizzes and music prodigies, what it’s like inside the family, and whether they could do it too. Well, I can tell them, because I’ve done it. Here are some things my daughters, Sophia and Louisa, were never allowed to do: •attend a sleepover •have a playdate •be in a school play •complain about not being in a school play •watch TV or play computer games •choose their own extracurricular activities •get any grade less than an A •not be the No. 1 student in every subject except gym and drama •play any instrument other than the piano or violin •not play the piano or violin //EOF EXCERPT what do you think?
modified on Friday, January 28, 2011 11:23 AM
The thing this points out to me is how important it is to have parental involvement in a child's education.
"If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader." - John Quincy Adams
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You know, I responded as if it was genuine, but I couldn't help but feel it was a troll. Someone who did these things to their kids would probably think it was normal, and not post about it like this.
Christian Graus Driven to the arms of OSX by Vista. Read my blog to find out how I've worked around bugs in Microsoft tools and frameworks.
I posted about the article because i genuinely wanted to know what you thought, it's not how i am raising my own children. I want to know CP member opinion because imo they mostly are smart, successful people, that's all. Was not meaning to disturb anyone.
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maybe i am misunderstanding you, or you ar emisunderstanding me... this is what AMy CHua writes in her article... not anything I have done to my own children
Next time I think you should make your post more "clear" as to what you are saying and what the article excerpt is saying. I don't think I was the only one here that misunderstood your post. I am glad to hear that you don't feel this way. :)
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maybe i am misunderstanding you, or you ar emisunderstanding me... this is what AMy CHua writes in her article... not anything I have done to my own children
I made the same misunderstanding too. By the time I got to the end of the excerpted paragraph, I thought we were back to your opinions, even after reading it twice.
Pete
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One word: Balance. If you think this is a balanced way to educate and raise a child, well then I guess you've answered your own question.
¡El diablo está en mis pantalones! ¡Mire, mire! SELECT * FROM User WHERE Clue > 0 0 rows returned Save an Orange - Use the VCF! Personal 3D projects Just Say No to Web 2 Point Blow
Jim, this is not me. It's an article I came across and just wanted to know what people thought of it.
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Anyone read this? http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704111504576059713528698754.html[^] Pasting an excerpt here: //BOF EXCERPT //*****THIS A EXCERPT FROM THE ARTICLE, NOT MY OWN DEEDS***** A lot of people wonder how Chinese parents raise such stereotypically successful kids. They wonder what these parents do to produce so many math whizzes and music prodigies, what it’s like inside the family, and whether they could do it too. Well, I can tell them, because I’ve done it. Here are some things my daughters, Sophia and Louisa, were never allowed to do: •attend a sleepover •have a playdate •be in a school play •complain about not being in a school play •watch TV or play computer games •choose their own extracurricular activities •get any grade less than an A •not be the No. 1 student in every subject except gym and drama •play any instrument other than the piano or violin •not play the piano or violin //EOF EXCERPT what do you think?
modified on Friday, January 28, 2011 11:23 AM
iris.frigole wrote:
•attend a sleepover •have a playdate
Wow, so they are socially inept then right? I'm sure they will be stable enough to be in great relationships. The wire mesh baby monkey comes to mind: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harry_Harlow[^]
iris.frigole wrote:
•be in a school play •complain about not being in a school play
iris.frigole wrote:
•not be the No. 1 student in every subject except gym and drama
You could be withholding the world from world class actresses, but you'll never know.
iris.frigole wrote:
•play any instrument other than the piano or violin •not play the piano or violin
What is it about these 2 instruments that is different than any other instrument?
iris.frigole wrote:
choose their own extracurricular activities
Once again, what is the harm here? I actually think your daughters would not stick out if applying to top tier American Universities today. There's no diversity in interests or unique characteristics.
iris.frigole wrote:
•not be the No. 1 student in every subject except gym and drama
In my opinion, this encourages cheating. My rationale is that since your daughters are not likely the most intelligent in their class, they must cheat to become the number 1 students. This is based on proper brain development through a range of experiences, and your daughters' experiences are extremely limited.
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iris.frigole wrote:
Here are some things my daughters, Sophia and Louisa, were never allowed to do:
You, my friend, are full of shit. I don't believe this for a minute. You are looking for a fight. No loving parent, in their right mind, would do this to their child unless they themselves were royally fucked up in the head. One vote me all you want.
What's wrong with being driven to succeed? Why are we in the west so eager to accept mediocrity as an achievement? These are exactly the reasons the west is in decline. Everyone is expected to succeed or fail to the same level so that nobody stands out as being "better". Your typical Chinese familiy is only allowed to have one child, and getting accepted into a college there is extremely difficult, so if you don't want your kid to be harvesting rice for the rest of his life, you have to use extreme parenting to give them an equal chance at success. I don't have a problem with the strategies listed in the OP as long as the parents aren't psychopaths.
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997 -
I'd have to say that it that these parenting strategies also create socially inept, work-obsessed individuals who are "successful" because there is no balance whatsoever in their lives. We all wish our children could be exceptional, but at what cost. There is something to be said for being "normal".
I wasn't, now I am, then I won't be anymore.
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Next time I think you should make your post more "clear" as to what you are saying and what the article excerpt is saying. I don't think I was the only one here that misunderstood your post. I am glad to hear that you don't feel this way. :)
changed the title of the post to avoid the flames, will be more careful next time i post for sure :)
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Next time I think you should make your post more "clear" as to what you are saying and what the article excerpt is saying. I don't think I was the only one here that misunderstood your post. I am glad to hear that you don't feel this way. :)
I thought it was pretty clear myself - he's posting about an article he read.
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997
