Down on his luck... [modified]
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twohowlingdogs wrote:
The bank is asking for their payment on the mortgage.
twohowlingdogs wrote:
The next week
twohowlingdogs wrote:
The bank foreclosed
Ah, must be Bank of America! :rolleyes:
Regards, Nish
Are you addicted to CP? If so, check this out: The Code Project Forum Analyzer : Find out how much of a life you don't have! My technology blog: voidnish.wordpress.com
I got more laughs from your post than from the original. :)
Chris Meech I am Canadian. [heard in a local bar] In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is. [Yogi Berra] posting about Crystal Reports here is like discussing gay marriage on a catholic church’s website.[Nishant Sivakumar]
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So this man we'll call Tom is feeling down on his luck and things aren't going well. He gets down on his knees and prays. "Dear Lord. I'm not doing too well with my wife and work. Money is tight. Please help me win the lottery." The drawing comes and he doesn't win. The next week, Tom gets on his knees again. "Dear Lord. My wife is about to leave me. I lost my job. The bank is asking for their payment on the mortgage. Please help me win the lottery." The drawing comes and he doesn't win. The next week, Tom gets on his knees again. "Dear Lord. My wife has left me. The bank foreclosed. I'm on the street. Please help me win the lottery!" He then hears a voice above him say, "TOM! Meet me half way here! BUY A TICKET!!" [EDIT]My bad...should have used the joke icon...[/EDIT]
I have nothing more to say.
modified on Tuesday, April 12, 2011 3:14 PM
Either the joke or I am missing something here.
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Either the joke or I am missing something here.
You're missing it... It's an old joke... "Buy a ticket!" As in, the guy has been praying to win the lottery, but hasn't even been buying lotto tickets... Not very funny when it has to be explained, though ;P
Proud to have finally moved to the A-Ark. Which one are you in?
Author of the Guardians Saga (Sci-Fi/Fantasy novels) -
Either the joke or I am missing something here.
The joke isn't particularly funny, so you haven't missed much. Any joke you have to explain becomes really unfunny, so I'm not going to try. :-D
Real men don't use instructions. They are only the manufacturers opinion on how to put the thing together. Manfred R. Bihy: "Looks as if OP is learning resistant."
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You're missing it... It's an old joke... "Buy a ticket!" As in, the guy has been praying to win the lottery, but hasn't even been buying lotto tickets... Not very funny when it has to be explained, though ;P
Proud to have finally moved to the A-Ark. Which one are you in?
Author of the Guardians Saga (Sci-Fi/Fantasy novels)Ah! Thank you Ian for that explanation. I got confused by the phrase "meet me halfway".
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The joke isn't particularly funny, so you haven't missed much. Any joke you have to explain becomes really unfunny, so I'm not going to try. :-D
Real men don't use instructions. They are only the manufacturers opinion on how to put the thing together. Manfred R. Bihy: "Looks as if OP is learning resistant."
:-D Ian explained it, but thanks for pointing out that I am not missing much.
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The joke isn't particularly funny, so you haven't missed much. Any joke you have to explain becomes really unfunny, so I'm not going to try. :-D
Real men don't use instructions. They are only the manufacturers opinion on how to put the thing together. Manfred R. Bihy: "Looks as if OP is learning resistant."
... and if you think a little about it, it's a kind of philosophy - you have to GIVE something to GET something ...
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... and if you think a little about it, it's a kind of philosophy - you have to GIVE something to GET something ...
"What goes around, comes around" I get the philosophy, but the joke just isn't very good. :-D Not cr@p enough to univote, but it isn't good enough to share unless everyone concerned is p@ssed off their skulls...
Real men don't use instructions. They are only the manufacturers opinion on how to put the thing together. Manfred R. Bihy: "Looks as if OP is learning resistant."
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twohowlingdogs wrote:
The bank is asking for their payment on the mortgage.
twohowlingdogs wrote:
The next week
twohowlingdogs wrote:
The bank foreclosed
Ah, must be Bank of America! :rolleyes:
Regards, Nish
Are you addicted to CP? If so, check this out: The Code Project Forum Analyzer : Find out how much of a life you don't have! My technology blog: voidnish.wordpress.com
hehe, you said Bank of America. :laugh:
-- You don't hire a handyman to build a house, you hire a specialist.
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So this man we'll call Tom is feeling down on his luck and things aren't going well. He gets down on his knees and prays. "Dear Lord. I'm not doing too well with my wife and work. Money is tight. Please help me win the lottery." The drawing comes and he doesn't win. The next week, Tom gets on his knees again. "Dear Lord. My wife is about to leave me. I lost my job. The bank is asking for their payment on the mortgage. Please help me win the lottery." The drawing comes and he doesn't win. The next week, Tom gets on his knees again. "Dear Lord. My wife has left me. The bank foreclosed. I'm on the street. Please help me win the lottery!" He then hears a voice above him say, "TOM! Meet me half way here! BUY A TICKET!!" [EDIT]My bad...should have used the joke icon...[/EDIT]
I have nothing more to say.
modified on Tuesday, April 12, 2011 3:14 PM
twohowlingdogs wrote:
[EDIT]My bad...should have used the joke icon...[/EDIT]
Trust me on this - it wouldn't have helped.
I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.
Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads
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"What goes around, comes around" I get the philosophy, but the joke just isn't very good. :-D Not cr@p enough to univote, but it isn't good enough to share unless everyone concerned is p@ssed off their skulls...
Real men don't use instructions. They are only the manufacturers opinion on how to put the thing together. Manfred R. Bihy: "Looks as if OP is learning resistant."
Hm - I've been here now for almost 2 years, but until recent only as a passive reader. Said so, excuse me, but then I don't understand the voting system ... If one posts a joke she don't do that for trolling, and even it isn't a good joke, it should IMHO *never* be downvoted, until it is rassism or so (and even in this range are a lot of good jokes that just seem rassism in the first sight)
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So this man we'll call Tom is feeling down on his luck and things aren't going well. He gets down on his knees and prays. "Dear Lord. I'm not doing too well with my wife and work. Money is tight. Please help me win the lottery." The drawing comes and he doesn't win. The next week, Tom gets on his knees again. "Dear Lord. My wife is about to leave me. I lost my job. The bank is asking for their payment on the mortgage. Please help me win the lottery." The drawing comes and he doesn't win. The next week, Tom gets on his knees again. "Dear Lord. My wife has left me. The bank foreclosed. I'm on the street. Please help me win the lottery!" He then hears a voice above him say, "TOM! Meet me half way here! BUY A TICKET!!" [EDIT]My bad...should have used the joke icon...[/EDIT]
I have nothing more to say.
modified on Tuesday, April 12, 2011 3:14 PM
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twohowlingdogs wrote:
[EDIT]My bad...should have used the joke icon...[/EDIT]
Trust me on this - it wouldn't have helped.
I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.
Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads
I'm getting that from all the posts. :sigh: Oh well. Live and learn right?
I have nothing more to say.
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You're missing it... It's an old joke... "Buy a ticket!" As in, the guy has been praying to win the lottery, but hasn't even been buying lotto tickets... Not very funny when it has to be explained, though ;P
Proud to have finally moved to the A-Ark. Which one are you in?
Author of the Guardians Saga (Sci-Fi/Fantasy novels)Ian Shlasko wrote:
Not very funny when it has to be explained, though
FTFY
I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.
Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads
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twohowlingdogs wrote:
[EDIT]My bad...should have used the joke icon...[/EDIT]
Trust me on this - it wouldn't have helped.
I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.
Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads
-
So this man we'll call Tom is feeling down on his luck and things aren't going well. He gets down on his knees and prays. "Dear Lord. I'm not doing too well with my wife and work. Money is tight. Please help me win the lottery." The drawing comes and he doesn't win. The next week, Tom gets on his knees again. "Dear Lord. My wife is about to leave me. I lost my job. The bank is asking for their payment on the mortgage. Please help me win the lottery." The drawing comes and he doesn't win. The next week, Tom gets on his knees again. "Dear Lord. My wife has left me. The bank foreclosed. I'm on the street. Please help me win the lottery!" He then hears a voice above him say, "TOM! Meet me half way here! BUY A TICKET!!" [EDIT]My bad...should have used the joke icon...[/EDIT]
I have nothing more to say.
modified on Tuesday, April 12, 2011 3:14 PM
twohowlingdogs wrote:
I have nothing more to say.
Thank God!
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twohowlingdogs wrote:
I have nothing more to say.
Thank God!
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twohowlingdogs wrote:
I have nothing more to say.
Thank God!
Have you bought a lottery ticket?
[www.tamelectromecanica.com] Robots, CNC and PLC machines for grinding and polishing.
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Hm - I've been here now for almost 2 years, but until recent only as a passive reader. Said so, excuse me, but then I don't understand the voting system ... If one posts a joke she don't do that for trolling, and even it isn't a good joke, it should IMHO *never* be downvoted, until it is rassism or so (and even in this range are a lot of good jokes that just seem rassism in the first sight)
I honestly think people put way too much emphasis on the voting system. Specifically when it is in the lounge where most of the interaction is just taking the pi$$ and silly jokes. I guess voting for articles and questions and answers is useful in this type of forum but I don't see the value in the Lounge other than for pounding on the Trolls. If you tell a crap joke be prepared to be down-voted. Of course I'm sure none of us actually think our jokes are bad do we? ;)
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So this man we'll call Tom is feeling down on his luck and things aren't going well. He gets down on his knees and prays. "Dear Lord. I'm not doing too well with my wife and work. Money is tight. Please help me win the lottery." The drawing comes and he doesn't win. The next week, Tom gets on his knees again. "Dear Lord. My wife is about to leave me. I lost my job. The bank is asking for their payment on the mortgage. Please help me win the lottery." The drawing comes and he doesn't win. The next week, Tom gets on his knees again. "Dear Lord. My wife has left me. The bank foreclosed. I'm on the street. Please help me win the lottery!" He then hears a voice above him say, "TOM! Meet me half way here! BUY A TICKET!!" [EDIT]My bad...should have used the joke icon...[/EDIT]
I have nothing more to say.
modified on Tuesday, April 12, 2011 3:14 PM
twohowlingdogs wrote:
[EDIT]My bad...should have used the joke icon...[/EDIT]
Naw, that hasn't helped it one bit. It's still a bad joke. :)
Chris Meech I am Canadian. [heard in a local bar] In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is. [Yogi Berra] posting about Crystal Reports here is like discussing gay marriage on a catholic church’s website.[Nishant Sivakumar]
