Skip to content
  • Categories
  • Recent
  • Tags
  • Popular
  • World
  • Users
  • Groups
Skins
  • Light
  • Cerulean
  • Cosmo
  • Flatly
  • Journal
  • Litera
  • Lumen
  • Lux
  • Materia
  • Minty
  • Morph
  • Pulse
  • Sandstone
  • Simplex
  • Sketchy
  • Spacelab
  • United
  • Yeti
  • Zephyr
  • Dark
  • Cyborg
  • Darkly
  • Quartz
  • Slate
  • Solar
  • Superhero
  • Vapor

  • Default (No Skin)
  • No Skin
Collapse
Code Project
  1. Home
  2. Other Discussions
  3. The Soapbox
  4. Crisis in France

Crisis in France

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved The Soapbox
securityhelp
22 Posts 10 Posters 0 Views 1 Watching
  • Oldest to Newest
  • Newest to Oldest
  • Most Votes
Reply
  • Reply as topic
Log in to reply
This topic has been deleted. Only users with topic management privileges can see it.
  • O Oakman

    As you probably know Libya has decided not to sell gas to England and France since they aren't being very friendly any more. The Prime Ministers and Presidents assure us all that they have the situation well in hand and are about to rip them off. However the man in the street is taking the brunt of the present situation. Why, only yesterday, a thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre. After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings, and made it safely to his van. However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas. When asked how he could mastermind such a crime yet make such an obvious error, he replied, 'Monsieur, that is the reason I stole the paintings.' I had no Monet . . . . . . . . . . . to buy Degas. . . . . . . . . . . to make the Van Gogh. :cool:

    Where there's sacrifice, there's someone collecting the sacrificial offerings. Where there's service, there is someone being served. The man who speaks to you of sacrifice is speaking of slaves and masters, and intends to be the master. ~ Ayn Rand

    K Offline
    K Offline
    Keith Barrow
    wrote on last edited by
    #2

    Instant 5!

    Sort of a cross between Lawrence of Arabia and Dilbert.[^]
    -Or-
    A Dead ringer for Kate Winslett[^]

    1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • O Oakman

      As you probably know Libya has decided not to sell gas to England and France since they aren't being very friendly any more. The Prime Ministers and Presidents assure us all that they have the situation well in hand and are about to rip them off. However the man in the street is taking the brunt of the present situation. Why, only yesterday, a thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre. After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings, and made it safely to his van. However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas. When asked how he could mastermind such a crime yet make such an obvious error, he replied, 'Monsieur, that is the reason I stole the paintings.' I had no Monet . . . . . . . . . . . to buy Degas. . . . . . . . . . . to make the Van Gogh. :cool:

      Where there's sacrifice, there's someone collecting the sacrificial offerings. Where there's service, there is someone being served. The man who speaks to you of sacrifice is speaking of slaves and masters, and intends to be the master. ~ Ayn Rand

      T Offline
      T Offline
      Tarun K S
      wrote on last edited by
      #3

      :laugh: :laugh:

      People with high attitude deserve the standing ovation of our highest finger! My Blog![^]

      1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • O Oakman

        As you probably know Libya has decided not to sell gas to England and France since they aren't being very friendly any more. The Prime Ministers and Presidents assure us all that they have the situation well in hand and are about to rip them off. However the man in the street is taking the brunt of the present situation. Why, only yesterday, a thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre. After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings, and made it safely to his van. However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas. When asked how he could mastermind such a crime yet make such an obvious error, he replied, 'Monsieur, that is the reason I stole the paintings.' I had no Monet . . . . . . . . . . . to buy Degas. . . . . . . . . . . to make the Van Gogh. :cool:

        Where there's sacrifice, there's someone collecting the sacrificial offerings. Where there's service, there is someone being served. The man who speaks to you of sacrifice is speaking of slaves and masters, and intends to be the master. ~ Ayn Rand

        OriginalGriffO Offline
        OriginalGriffO Offline
        OriginalGriff
        wrote on last edited by
        #4

        It's a pity that reality has to squash that joke a bit: Van Gogh is not pronounced to work with "Van Go": The "Van" is a bit like "Fen" with the V sounding like a half V and half F. The "a" isn't quite like a short "e", but it's softer than North Americans pronounce it. The Gogh--it's tricky. The first G sounds a bit like a guttural H, the "o" sound stays the same pretty much the same (but not as harsh sounding as the "o" in "go") and the final GH is sort of like a guttural CH, like in the name Johann Sebastian Bach. There is an MP3 here[^] giving the proper pronunciation. (See http://www.vggallery.com/misc/faq.htm[^] for details, including that some of our Q&A visitors do art class as well... This is where I got the info from myself.) Still gets a 5, though! :laugh:

        Real men don't use instructions. They are only the manufacturers opinion on how to put the thing together. Manfred R. Bihy: "Looks as if OP is learning resistant."

        "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
        "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt

        D K M 3 Replies Last reply
        0
        • O Oakman

          As you probably know Libya has decided not to sell gas to England and France since they aren't being very friendly any more. The Prime Ministers and Presidents assure us all that they have the situation well in hand and are about to rip them off. However the man in the street is taking the brunt of the present situation. Why, only yesterday, a thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre. After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings, and made it safely to his van. However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas. When asked how he could mastermind such a crime yet make such an obvious error, he replied, 'Monsieur, that is the reason I stole the paintings.' I had no Monet . . . . . . . . . . . to buy Degas. . . . . . . . . . . to make the Van Gogh. :cool:

          Where there's sacrifice, there's someone collecting the sacrificial offerings. Where there's service, there is someone being served. The man who speaks to you of sacrifice is speaking of slaves and masters, and intends to be the master. ~ Ayn Rand

          C Offline
          C Offline
          Corporal Agarn
          wrote on last edited by
          #5

          ouch :)

          1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

            It's a pity that reality has to squash that joke a bit: Van Gogh is not pronounced to work with "Van Go": The "Van" is a bit like "Fen" with the V sounding like a half V and half F. The "a" isn't quite like a short "e", but it's softer than North Americans pronounce it. The Gogh--it's tricky. The first G sounds a bit like a guttural H, the "o" sound stays the same pretty much the same (but not as harsh sounding as the "o" in "go") and the final GH is sort of like a guttural CH, like in the name Johann Sebastian Bach. There is an MP3 here[^] giving the proper pronunciation. (See http://www.vggallery.com/misc/faq.htm[^] for details, including that some of our Q&A visitors do art class as well... This is where I got the info from myself.) Still gets a 5, though! :laugh:

            Real men don't use instructions. They are only the manufacturers opinion on how to put the thing together. Manfred R. Bihy: "Looks as if OP is learning resistant."

            D Offline
            D Offline
            Dalek Dave
            wrote on last edited by
            #6

            "G~hook"

            ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]

            1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

              It's a pity that reality has to squash that joke a bit: Van Gogh is not pronounced to work with "Van Go": The "Van" is a bit like "Fen" with the V sounding like a half V and half F. The "a" isn't quite like a short "e", but it's softer than North Americans pronounce it. The Gogh--it's tricky. The first G sounds a bit like a guttural H, the "o" sound stays the same pretty much the same (but not as harsh sounding as the "o" in "go") and the final GH is sort of like a guttural CH, like in the name Johann Sebastian Bach. There is an MP3 here[^] giving the proper pronunciation. (See http://www.vggallery.com/misc/faq.htm[^] for details, including that some of our Q&A visitors do art class as well... This is where I got the info from myself.) Still gets a 5, though! :laugh:

              Real men don't use instructions. They are only the manufacturers opinion on how to put the thing together. Manfred R. Bihy: "Looks as if OP is learning resistant."

              K Offline
              K Offline
              Keith Barrow
              wrote on last edited by
              #7

              Seeing as we are pissing on a perfectly good joke Degas is pronounced "day-gah[^]" not "dee gas" or "day gas" :-)

              Sort of a cross between Lawrence of Arabia and Dilbert.[^]
              -Or-
              A Dead ringer for Kate Winslett[^]

              1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

                It's a pity that reality has to squash that joke a bit: Van Gogh is not pronounced to work with "Van Go": The "Van" is a bit like "Fen" with the V sounding like a half V and half F. The "a" isn't quite like a short "e", but it's softer than North Americans pronounce it. The Gogh--it's tricky. The first G sounds a bit like a guttural H, the "o" sound stays the same pretty much the same (but not as harsh sounding as the "o" in "go") and the final GH is sort of like a guttural CH, like in the name Johann Sebastian Bach. There is an MP3 here[^] giving the proper pronunciation. (See http://www.vggallery.com/misc/faq.htm[^] for details, including that some of our Q&A visitors do art class as well... This is where I got the info from myself.) Still gets a 5, though! :laugh:

                Real men don't use instructions. They are only the manufacturers opinion on how to put the thing together. Manfred R. Bihy: "Looks as if OP is learning resistant."

                M Offline
                M Offline
                Mycroft Holmes
                wrote on last edited by
                #8

                I don't mind you pedants crapping on some of the posts in the Lounge, but when you start ripping into an old joke it really does become rather sad!

                Never underestimate the power of human stupidity RAH

                O K 2 Replies Last reply
                0
                • M Mycroft Holmes

                  I don't mind you pedants crapping on some of the posts in the Lounge, but when you start ripping into an old joke it really does become rather sad!

                  Never underestimate the power of human stupidity RAH

                  O Offline
                  O Offline
                  Oakman
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #9

                  Mycroft Holmes wrote:

                  I don't mind you pedants

                  I knew they were sickos. Messing around with little kids? X|

                  Where there's sacrifice, there's someone collecting the sacrificial offerings. Where there's service, there is someone being served. The man who speaks to you of sacrifice is speaking of slaves and masters, and intends to be the master. ~ Ayn Rand

                  K 1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • M Mycroft Holmes

                    I don't mind you pedants crapping on some of the posts in the Lounge, but when you start ripping into an old joke it really does become rather sad!

                    Never underestimate the power of human stupidity RAH

                    K Offline
                    K Offline
                    Keith Barrow
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #10

                    Not sure about the plural there, I liked the joke. Mine was more a playful bit'o'pedantry highlighting the lack of pedantic thoroughness. Sorry for the confusion.

                    Sort of a cross between Lawrence of Arabia and Dilbert.[^]
                    -Or-
                    A Dead ringer for Kate Winslett[^]

                    M 1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • O Oakman

                      Mycroft Holmes wrote:

                      I don't mind you pedants

                      I knew they were sickos. Messing around with little kids? X|

                      Where there's sacrifice, there's someone collecting the sacrificial offerings. Where there's service, there is someone being served. The man who speaks to you of sacrifice is speaking of slaves and masters, and intends to be the master. ~ Ayn Rand

                      K Offline
                      K Offline
                      Keith Barrow
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #11

                      No, that'd make us foot fetishists. To be sickos we'd need to be p_a_edants. :laugh:

                      Sort of a cross between Lawrence of Arabia and Dilbert.[^]
                      -Or-
                      A Dead ringer for Kate Winslett[^]

                      O 1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • K Keith Barrow

                        No, that'd make us foot fetishists. To be sickos we'd need to be p_a_edants. :laugh:

                        Sort of a cross between Lawrence of Arabia and Dilbert.[^]
                        -Or-
                        A Dead ringer for Kate Winslett[^]

                        O Offline
                        O Offline
                        Oakman
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #12

                        I'm not going to let you anywhere near my grandchildren's feet.

                        Where there's sacrifice, there's someone collecting the sacrificial offerings. Where there's service, there is someone being served. The man who speaks to you of sacrifice is speaking of slaves and masters, and intends to be the master. ~ Ayn Rand

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • K Keith Barrow

                          Not sure about the plural there, I liked the joke. Mine was more a playful bit'o'pedantry highlighting the lack of pedantic thoroughness. Sorry for the confusion.

                          Sort of a cross between Lawrence of Arabia and Dilbert.[^]
                          -Or-
                          A Dead ringer for Kate Winslett[^]

                          M Offline
                          M Offline
                          Mycroft Holmes
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #13

                          Keith Barrow wrote:

                          Not sure about the plural there

                          Oh theres more than one of you out there, there seems to be a whole horde of pedants jumping on apostrophes, spelling errors and the atrocious misuse of the english language. I just thought it was going too far picking on an old joke. No I don't mean Oakman although his instant focus on childrens feet does worry me a little.

                          Never underestimate the power of human stupidity RAH

                          K 1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • M Mycroft Holmes

                            Keith Barrow wrote:

                            Not sure about the plural there

                            Oh theres more than one of you out there, there seems to be a whole horde of pedants jumping on apostrophes, spelling errors and the atrocious misuse of the english language. I just thought it was going too far picking on an old joke. No I don't mean Oakman although his instant focus on childrens feet does worry me a little.

                            Never underestimate the power of human stupidity RAH

                            K Offline
                            K Offline
                            Keith Barrow
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #14

                            Mycroft Holmes wrote:

                            Oh theres more than one of you out there, there seems to be a whole horde of pedants jumping on apostrophes

                            Actually, I hate Spellling & grammar Nazis and wouldn't do this. IMO Spelling is for the weak, who don't have the intelligence to do anything more constructive with language.

                            Mycroft Holmes wrote:

                            No I don't mean Oakman although his instant focus on childrens feet does worry me a little.

                            It did descend into podophillic pederasty a bit too quickly for comfort :~

                            Sort of a cross between Lawrence of Arabia and Dilbert.[^]
                            -Or-
                            A Dead ringer for Kate Winslett[^]

                            O 1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • K Keith Barrow

                              Mycroft Holmes wrote:

                              Oh theres more than one of you out there, there seems to be a whole horde of pedants jumping on apostrophes

                              Actually, I hate Spellling & grammar Nazis and wouldn't do this. IMO Spelling is for the weak, who don't have the intelligence to do anything more constructive with language.

                              Mycroft Holmes wrote:

                              No I don't mean Oakman although his instant focus on childrens feet does worry me a little.

                              It did descend into podophillic pederasty a bit too quickly for comfort :~

                              Sort of a cross between Lawrence of Arabia and Dilbert.[^]
                              -Or-
                              A Dead ringer for Kate Winslett[^]

                              O Offline
                              O Offline
                              Oakman
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #15

                              Keith Barrow wrote:

                              It did descend into podophillic pederasty a bit too quickly for comfort

                              I admit it: I love kids - especially fried with a little salt and butter.

                              Where there's sacrifice, there's someone collecting the sacrificial offerings. Where there's service, there is someone being served. The man who speaks to you of sacrifice is speaking of slaves and masters, and intends to be the master. ~ Ayn Rand

                              S 1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • O Oakman

                                Keith Barrow wrote:

                                It did descend into podophillic pederasty a bit too quickly for comfort

                                I admit it: I love kids - especially fried with a little salt and butter.

                                Where there's sacrifice, there's someone collecting the sacrificial offerings. Where there's service, there is someone being served. The man who speaks to you of sacrifice is speaking of slaves and masters, and intends to be the master. ~ Ayn Rand

                                S Offline
                                S Offline
                                soap brain
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #16

                                Oakman wrote:

                                I admit it: I love kids - especially fried with a little salt and butter.

                                That joke does not get funnier with each retelling. It was also never funny. You've also told it far, far too many times.

                                L 1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • S soap brain

                                  Oakman wrote:

                                  I admit it: I love kids - especially fried with a little salt and butter.

                                  That joke does not get funnier with each retelling. It was also never funny. You've also told it far, far too many times.

                                  L Offline
                                  L Offline
                                  Lost User
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #17

                                  Ravel H. Joyce wrote:

                                  You've also told it far, far too many times.

                                  Go easy on the old guy. When you've 'roamed the earth' for as many years as he and I have, you will find yourself repeating things, forgetting what you went into the shed for, etc. (I haven't started discussing 18th century political philosophy yet, but give it time.)

                                  2011 - Our best hope is that things will be frightening and dangerous rather than desperate and horrific. Jesse's Café Américain

                                  S 1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • L Lost User

                                    Ravel H. Joyce wrote:

                                    You've also told it far, far too many times.

                                    Go easy on the old guy. When you've 'roamed the earth' for as many years as he and I have, you will find yourself repeating things, forgetting what you went into the shed for, etc. (I haven't started discussing 18th century political philosophy yet, but give it time.)

                                    2011 - Our best hope is that things will be frightening and dangerous rather than desperate and horrific. Jesse's Café Américain

                                    S Offline
                                    S Offline
                                    soap brain
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #18

                                    Somebody had to tell him - he lacks to introspection to see it for himself.

                                    L 1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • S soap brain

                                      Somebody had to tell him - he lacks to introspection to see it for himself.

                                      L Offline
                                      L Offline
                                      Lost User
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #19

                                      Ravel H. Joyce wrote:

                                      he lacks to introspection to see it for himself.

                                      Or, as Robert Burns put it: O wad some Power the giftie gie us To see oursels as ithers see us! It wad frae monie a blunder free us, An' foolish notion - To a Louse

                                      2011 - Our best hope is that things will be frightening and dangerous rather than desperate and horrific. Jesse's Café Américain

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • O Oakman

                                        As you probably know Libya has decided not to sell gas to England and France since they aren't being very friendly any more. The Prime Ministers and Presidents assure us all that they have the situation well in hand and are about to rip them off. However the man in the street is taking the brunt of the present situation. Why, only yesterday, a thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre. After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings, and made it safely to his van. However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas. When asked how he could mastermind such a crime yet make such an obvious error, he replied, 'Monsieur, that is the reason I stole the paintings.' I had no Monet . . . . . . . . . . . to buy Degas. . . . . . . . . . . to make the Van Gogh. :cool:

                                        Where there's sacrifice, there's someone collecting the sacrificial offerings. Where there's service, there is someone being served. The man who speaks to you of sacrifice is speaking of slaves and masters, and intends to be the master. ~ Ayn Rand

                                        M Offline
                                        M Offline
                                        Manfred Rudolf Bihy
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #20

                                        :-D Instant 5+

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • O Oakman

                                          As you probably know Libya has decided not to sell gas to England and France since they aren't being very friendly any more. The Prime Ministers and Presidents assure us all that they have the situation well in hand and are about to rip them off. However the man in the street is taking the brunt of the present situation. Why, only yesterday, a thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre. After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings, and made it safely to his van. However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas. When asked how he could mastermind such a crime yet make such an obvious error, he replied, 'Monsieur, that is the reason I stole the paintings.' I had no Monet . . . . . . . . . . . to buy Degas. . . . . . . . . . . to make the Van Gogh. :cool:

                                          Where there's sacrifice, there's someone collecting the sacrificial offerings. Where there's service, there is someone being served. The man who speaks to you of sacrifice is speaking of slaves and masters, and intends to be the master. ~ Ayn Rand

                                          L Offline
                                          L Offline
                                          Lost User
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #21

                                          Very funny :laugh: Was the police man a Constable? _________________________________ Group Purchase Online

                                          O 1 Reply Last reply
                                          0
                                          Reply
                                          • Reply as topic
                                          Log in to reply
                                          • Oldest to Newest
                                          • Newest to Oldest
                                          • Most Votes


                                          • Login

                                          • Don't have an account? Register

                                          • Login or register to search.
                                          • First post
                                            Last post
                                          0
                                          • Categories
                                          • Recent
                                          • Tags
                                          • Popular
                                          • World
                                          • Users
                                          • Groups