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Management Emails

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  • M Offline
    M Offline
    Martin Thwaites
    wrote on last edited by
    #1

    Just got this e-mail from our director... and it made me giggle, so thought I'd share. It's a waste of my unlimited bandwidth broadband package to have received it (although sharing it is a perfectly legitimate use of it). If you think of the platform as an Ikea bookshelf (but better quality!), the one with boxes (Ikea sell 4 or 5 different designs of box that fit into the generic bookshelf). Normally you will select one of the standard Ikea boxes, but you could also build your own (or we could build it for you). The XXX platform framework is the bookshelf itself. The boxes that fit in the framework are functional modules with defined interfaces (or dimensions in the analogy). What you make your box look like or what you put in the box is completely up to you. You could put a computer in the box, or fill it with water! When we design our boxes, we should try and make them as functionally rich as we can, so most people will never have the desire to create a new one. Ultimately we want 10,000 clients to pay to use our framework, rather than 10 clients with high customisation requirements. The former is much more scalable. Hope this helps guide you in the right direction. Hilarious! Note omissions made to protect the company's identity.

    C A S W R 11 Replies Last reply
    0
    • M Martin Thwaites

      Just got this e-mail from our director... and it made me giggle, so thought I'd share. It's a waste of my unlimited bandwidth broadband package to have received it (although sharing it is a perfectly legitimate use of it). If you think of the platform as an Ikea bookshelf (but better quality!), the one with boxes (Ikea sell 4 or 5 different designs of box that fit into the generic bookshelf). Normally you will select one of the standard Ikea boxes, but you could also build your own (or we could build it for you). The XXX platform framework is the bookshelf itself. The boxes that fit in the framework are functional modules with defined interfaces (or dimensions in the analogy). What you make your box look like or what you put in the box is completely up to you. You could put a computer in the box, or fill it with water! When we design our boxes, we should try and make them as functionally rich as we can, so most people will never have the desire to create a new one. Ultimately we want 10,000 clients to pay to use our framework, rather than 10 clients with high customisation requirements. The former is much more scalable. Hope this helps guide you in the right direction. Hilarious! Note omissions made to protect the company's identity.

      C Offline
      C Offline
      Chris Meech
      wrote on last edited by
      #2

      Helps me out a lot. I'm off to Ikea to buy a shelf. :)

      Chris Meech I am Canadian. [heard in a local bar] In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is. [Yogi Berra] posting about Crystal Reports here is like discussing gay marriage on a catholic church’s website.[Nishant Sivakumar]

      1 Reply Last reply
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      • M Martin Thwaites

        Just got this e-mail from our director... and it made me giggle, so thought I'd share. It's a waste of my unlimited bandwidth broadband package to have received it (although sharing it is a perfectly legitimate use of it). If you think of the platform as an Ikea bookshelf (but better quality!), the one with boxes (Ikea sell 4 or 5 different designs of box that fit into the generic bookshelf). Normally you will select one of the standard Ikea boxes, but you could also build your own (or we could build it for you). The XXX platform framework is the bookshelf itself. The boxes that fit in the framework are functional modules with defined interfaces (or dimensions in the analogy). What you make your box look like or what you put in the box is completely up to you. You could put a computer in the box, or fill it with water! When we design our boxes, we should try and make them as functionally rich as we can, so most people will never have the desire to create a new one. Ultimately we want 10,000 clients to pay to use our framework, rather than 10 clients with high customisation requirements. The former is much more scalable. Hope this helps guide you in the right direction. Hilarious! Note omissions made to protect the company's identity.

        A Offline
        A Offline
        Albert Holguin
        wrote on last edited by
        #3

        You should reply with:

        Martin Thwaites wrote:

        ...So you want us to make cheap furniture that folds flat and fits in small boxes... Got it! Workin on it as we speak! Expect prototype soon!

        S 1 Reply Last reply
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        • M Martin Thwaites

          Just got this e-mail from our director... and it made me giggle, so thought I'd share. It's a waste of my unlimited bandwidth broadband package to have received it (although sharing it is a perfectly legitimate use of it). If you think of the platform as an Ikea bookshelf (but better quality!), the one with boxes (Ikea sell 4 or 5 different designs of box that fit into the generic bookshelf). Normally you will select one of the standard Ikea boxes, but you could also build your own (or we could build it for you). The XXX platform framework is the bookshelf itself. The boxes that fit in the framework are functional modules with defined interfaces (or dimensions in the analogy). What you make your box look like or what you put in the box is completely up to you. You could put a computer in the box, or fill it with water! When we design our boxes, we should try and make them as functionally rich as we can, so most people will never have the desire to create a new one. Ultimately we want 10,000 clients to pay to use our framework, rather than 10 clients with high customisation requirements. The former is much more scalable. Hope this helps guide you in the right direction. Hilarious! Note omissions made to protect the company's identity.

          S Offline
          S Offline
          Smithers Jones
          wrote on last edited by
          #4

          5'ed. :)

          "I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." (DNA)

          1 Reply Last reply
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          • A Albert Holguin

            You should reply with:

            Martin Thwaites wrote:

            ...So you want us to make cheap furniture that folds flat and fits in small boxes... Got it! Workin on it as we speak! Expect prototype soon!

            S Offline
            S Offline
            Smithers Jones
            wrote on last edited by
            #5

            Look at Q&A, this guy's[^] working on that project already. :)

            "I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." (DNA)

            A 1 Reply Last reply
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            • M Martin Thwaites

              Just got this e-mail from our director... and it made me giggle, so thought I'd share. It's a waste of my unlimited bandwidth broadband package to have received it (although sharing it is a perfectly legitimate use of it). If you think of the platform as an Ikea bookshelf (but better quality!), the one with boxes (Ikea sell 4 or 5 different designs of box that fit into the generic bookshelf). Normally you will select one of the standard Ikea boxes, but you could also build your own (or we could build it for you). The XXX platform framework is the bookshelf itself. The boxes that fit in the framework are functional modules with defined interfaces (or dimensions in the analogy). What you make your box look like or what you put in the box is completely up to you. You could put a computer in the box, or fill it with water! When we design our boxes, we should try and make them as functionally rich as we can, so most people will never have the desire to create a new one. Ultimately we want 10,000 clients to pay to use our framework, rather than 10 clients with high customisation requirements. The former is much more scalable. Hope this helps guide you in the right direction. Hilarious! Note omissions made to protect the company's identity.

              W Offline
              W Offline
              wizardzz
              wrote on last edited by
              #6

              Hopefully your instructions are better than Ikea's.

              Martin Thwaites wrote:

              Ultimately we want 10,000 clients to pay to use our framework, rather than 10 clients with high customisation requirements. The former is much more scalable.

              Honestly, which is more profitable? I know my division makes about 90% of revenue off of our biggest 5% of customers.

              Craigslist Troll: litaly@comcast.net "I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours. " — Hunter S. Thompson

              A 1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • M Martin Thwaites

                Just got this e-mail from our director... and it made me giggle, so thought I'd share. It's a waste of my unlimited bandwidth broadband package to have received it (although sharing it is a perfectly legitimate use of it). If you think of the platform as an Ikea bookshelf (but better quality!), the one with boxes (Ikea sell 4 or 5 different designs of box that fit into the generic bookshelf). Normally you will select one of the standard Ikea boxes, but you could also build your own (or we could build it for you). The XXX platform framework is the bookshelf itself. The boxes that fit in the framework are functional modules with defined interfaces (or dimensions in the analogy). What you make your box look like or what you put in the box is completely up to you. You could put a computer in the box, or fill it with water! When we design our boxes, we should try and make them as functionally rich as we can, so most people will never have the desire to create a new one. Ultimately we want 10,000 clients to pay to use our framework, rather than 10 clients with high customisation requirements. The former is much more scalable. Hope this helps guide you in the right direction. Hilarious! Note omissions made to protect the company's identity.

                R Offline
                R Offline
                RC_Sebastien_C
                wrote on last edited by
                #7

                Martin Thwaites wrote:

                Ultimately we want 10,000 clients to pay to use our framework, rather than 10 clients with high customisation requirements.

                10000 easy customers vs 10 difficult ones. Hmmm though executive decision, almost worthy of an Economy Nobel Prize!

                W C 2 Replies Last reply
                0
                • R RC_Sebastien_C

                  Martin Thwaites wrote:

                  Ultimately we want 10,000 clients to pay to use our framework, rather than 10 clients with high customisation requirements.

                  10000 easy customers vs 10 difficult ones. Hmmm though executive decision, almost worthy of an Economy Nobel Prize!

                  W Offline
                  W Offline
                  wizardzz
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #8

                  Would this be considered Socialism or Utilitarianism?

                  Craigslist Troll: litaly@comcast.net "I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours. " — Hunter S. Thompson

                  R 1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • S Smithers Jones

                    Look at Q&A, this guy's[^] working on that project already. :)

                    "I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." (DNA)

                    A Offline
                    A Offline
                    Albert Holguin
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #9

                    :laugh: :laugh:

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • W wizardzz

                      Hopefully your instructions are better than Ikea's.

                      Martin Thwaites wrote:

                      Ultimately we want 10,000 clients to pay to use our framework, rather than 10 clients with high customisation requirements. The former is much more scalable.

                      Honestly, which is more profitable? I know my division makes about 90% of revenue off of our biggest 5% of customers.

                      Craigslist Troll: litaly@comcast.net "I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours. " — Hunter S. Thompson

                      A Offline
                      A Offline
                      Albert Holguin
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #10

                      wizardzz wrote:

                      Hopefully your instructions are better than Ikea's.

                      Don't like the pictures and little alien-like characters?

                      W 1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • A Albert Holguin

                        wizardzz wrote:

                        Hopefully your instructions are better than Ikea's.

                        Don't like the pictures and little alien-like characters?

                        W Offline
                        W Offline
                        wizardzz
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #11

                        Whoa, I like little green pointy headed alien-like characters! The naked Ikea guy does creep me out though.

                        Craigslist Troll: litaly@comcast.net "I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours. " — Hunter S. Thompson

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • W wizardzz

                          Would this be considered Socialism or Utilitarianism?

                          Craigslist Troll: litaly@comcast.net "I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours. " — Hunter S. Thompson

                          R Offline
                          R Offline
                          RC_Sebastien_C
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #12

                          Ikealism of software. Where you use registration Allen key.

                          W 1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • R RC_Sebastien_C

                            Ikealism of software. Where you use registration Allen key.

                            W Offline
                            W Offline
                            wizardzz
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #13

                            :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

                            Craigslist Troll: litaly@comcast.net "I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours. " — Hunter S. Thompson

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • R RC_Sebastien_C

                              Martin Thwaites wrote:

                              Ultimately we want 10,000 clients to pay to use our framework, rather than 10 clients with high customisation requirements.

                              10000 easy customers vs 10 difficult ones. Hmmm though executive decision, almost worthy of an Economy Nobel Prize!

                              C Offline
                              C Offline
                              Chris Meech
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #14

                              on your profile pic. it's simply awesome.

                              Chris Meech I am Canadian. [heard in a local bar] In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is. [Yogi Berra] posting about Crystal Reports here is like discussing gay marriage on a catholic church’s website.[Nishant Sivakumar]

                              R 1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • M Martin Thwaites

                                Just got this e-mail from our director... and it made me giggle, so thought I'd share. It's a waste of my unlimited bandwidth broadband package to have received it (although sharing it is a perfectly legitimate use of it). If you think of the platform as an Ikea bookshelf (but better quality!), the one with boxes (Ikea sell 4 or 5 different designs of box that fit into the generic bookshelf). Normally you will select one of the standard Ikea boxes, but you could also build your own (or we could build it for you). The XXX platform framework is the bookshelf itself. The boxes that fit in the framework are functional modules with defined interfaces (or dimensions in the analogy). What you make your box look like or what you put in the box is completely up to you. You could put a computer in the box, or fill it with water! When we design our boxes, we should try and make them as functionally rich as we can, so most people will never have the desire to create a new one. Ultimately we want 10,000 clients to pay to use our framework, rather than 10 clients with high customisation requirements. The former is much more scalable. Hope this helps guide you in the right direction. Hilarious! Note omissions made to protect the company's identity.

                                D Offline
                                D Offline
                                DaveAuld
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #15

                                That wouldn't be a company based in Marlow, Buckinghamshire would it?

                                Dave Find Me On: Web|Facebook|Twitter|LinkedIn


                                Folding Stats: Team CodeProject

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • C Chris Meech

                                  on your profile pic. it's simply awesome.

                                  Chris Meech I am Canadian. [heard in a local bar] In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is. [Yogi Berra] posting about Crystal Reports here is like discussing gay marriage on a catholic church’s website.[Nishant Sivakumar]

                                  R Offline
                                  R Offline
                                  RC_Sebastien_C
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #16

                                  :thumbsup: But I'll have to change it, I can't afford using a picture of their jersey: http://www.globalmontreal.com/Habs+Basha+restaurant/4792130/story.html[^]

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • M Martin Thwaites

                                    Just got this e-mail from our director... and it made me giggle, so thought I'd share. It's a waste of my unlimited bandwidth broadband package to have received it (although sharing it is a perfectly legitimate use of it). If you think of the platform as an Ikea bookshelf (but better quality!), the one with boxes (Ikea sell 4 or 5 different designs of box that fit into the generic bookshelf). Normally you will select one of the standard Ikea boxes, but you could also build your own (or we could build it for you). The XXX platform framework is the bookshelf itself. The boxes that fit in the framework are functional modules with defined interfaces (or dimensions in the analogy). What you make your box look like or what you put in the box is completely up to you. You could put a computer in the box, or fill it with water! When we design our boxes, we should try and make them as functionally rich as we can, so most people will never have the desire to create a new one. Ultimately we want 10,000 clients to pay to use our framework, rather than 10 clients with high customisation requirements. The former is much more scalable. Hope this helps guide you in the right direction. Hilarious! Note omissions made to protect the company's identity.

                                    C Offline
                                    C Offline
                                    Chris Maunder
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #17

                                    So you now have to include allen keys with your software? Mate - that's just weird.

                                    cheers, Chris Maunder The Code Project | Co-founder Microsoft C++ MVP

                                    L D G D 4 Replies Last reply
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                                    • C Chris Maunder

                                      So you now have to include allen keys with your software? Mate - that's just weird.

                                      cheers, Chris Maunder The Code Project | Co-founder Microsoft C++ MVP

                                      L Offline
                                      L Offline
                                      Lost User
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #18

                                      Allen keys that also need assembled.

                                      Join the cool kids - Come fold with us[^] "Program as if the technical support department is full of serial killers and they know your home address" - Ray Cassick Jr., RIP

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • C Chris Maunder

                                        So you now have to include allen keys with your software? Mate - that's just weird.

                                        cheers, Chris Maunder The Code Project | Co-founder Microsoft C++ MVP

                                        D Offline
                                        D Offline
                                        DaveAuld
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #19

                                        Yeh, and they also don't give you a full set of screws, so you have to go back to them for support.

                                        Dave Find Me On: Web|Facebook|Twitter|LinkedIn


                                        Folding Stats: Team CodeProject

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • M Martin Thwaites

                                          Just got this e-mail from our director... and it made me giggle, so thought I'd share. It's a waste of my unlimited bandwidth broadband package to have received it (although sharing it is a perfectly legitimate use of it). If you think of the platform as an Ikea bookshelf (but better quality!), the one with boxes (Ikea sell 4 or 5 different designs of box that fit into the generic bookshelf). Normally you will select one of the standard Ikea boxes, but you could also build your own (or we could build it for you). The XXX platform framework is the bookshelf itself. The boxes that fit in the framework are functional modules with defined interfaces (or dimensions in the analogy). What you make your box look like or what you put in the box is completely up to you. You could put a computer in the box, or fill it with water! When we design our boxes, we should try and make them as functionally rich as we can, so most people will never have the desire to create a new one. Ultimately we want 10,000 clients to pay to use our framework, rather than 10 clients with high customisation requirements. The former is much more scalable. Hope this helps guide you in the right direction. Hilarious! Note omissions made to protect the company's identity.

                                          Sander RosselS Offline
                                          Sander RosselS Offline
                                          Sander Rossel
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #20

                                          Perhaps Ikea is planning to take over your company and this is your managements way of telling? ;p

                                          It's an OO world.

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