Giving a youngster encouragement. How?
-
My teenage daughter has just recently started to learn to drive. She's had 8 hrs. of tuition with a qualified driving instructor so far; and at the weekend we went out for a 20 mile drive with her behind the wheel. She made a few mistakes but otherwise did very well in my opinion and she seemed to enjoy it. However, we went out again at a later time and this time she made a serious error of judgement which would have caused an accident if there had been anything coming the other way. I didn't shout, get annoyed or grab the wheel during her error of judgement. I just calmly pointed out what she should have done instead. This mistake has totally shattered her confidence in her ability. How/what is the best way of restoring her confidence? She keeps dwelling on the fact that a serious accident could has resulted. I don't want to see her give up. What I've suggested is that we practice doing manoeuvres on a quiet industrial estate until she's had more experience with the driving instructor. Suggestions?
As I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, I fear no evil for I am the God of Death... and this is my valley. Aici zace un om despre care nu sestie prea mult
-
My teenage daughter has just recently started to learn to drive. She's had 8 hrs. of tuition with a qualified driving instructor so far; and at the weekend we went out for a 20 mile drive with her behind the wheel. She made a few mistakes but otherwise did very well in my opinion and she seemed to enjoy it. However, we went out again at a later time and this time she made a serious error of judgement which would have caused an accident if there had been anything coming the other way. I didn't shout, get annoyed or grab the wheel during her error of judgement. I just calmly pointed out what she should have done instead. This mistake has totally shattered her confidence in her ability. How/what is the best way of restoring her confidence? She keeps dwelling on the fact that a serious accident could has resulted. I don't want to see her give up. What I've suggested is that we practice doing manoeuvres on a quiet industrial estate until she's had more experience with the driving instructor. Suggestions?
As I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, I fear no evil for I am the God of Death... and this is my valley. Aici zace un om despre care nu sestie prea mult
Benjamin Breeg wrote:
My teenage daughter
Benjamin Breeg wrote:
Suggestions?
Take the keys off her :)
www.software-kinetics.co.uk Wear a hard hat it's nnder construction
-
My teenage daughter has just recently started to learn to drive. She's had 8 hrs. of tuition with a qualified driving instructor so far; and at the weekend we went out for a 20 mile drive with her behind the wheel. She made a few mistakes but otherwise did very well in my opinion and she seemed to enjoy it. However, we went out again at a later time and this time she made a serious error of judgement which would have caused an accident if there had been anything coming the other way. I didn't shout, get annoyed or grab the wheel during her error of judgement. I just calmly pointed out what she should have done instead. This mistake has totally shattered her confidence in her ability. How/what is the best way of restoring her confidence? She keeps dwelling on the fact that a serious accident could has resulted. I don't want to see her give up. What I've suggested is that we practice doing manoeuvres on a quiet industrial estate until she's had more experience with the driving instructor. Suggestions?
As I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, I fear no evil for I am the God of Death... and this is my valley. Aici zace un om despre care nu sestie prea mult
Just tell her that Everyone does stuff like that when they are learning, it is perfectly normal and practice will always improve her driving. (Under no circumstances tell her the truth...That women are inherently dangerous behind the wheel, for no matter how hard they concentrate, at least 7% of their brains are thinking about shoes)
------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]
-
My teenage daughter has just recently started to learn to drive. She's had 8 hrs. of tuition with a qualified driving instructor so far; and at the weekend we went out for a 20 mile drive with her behind the wheel. She made a few mistakes but otherwise did very well in my opinion and she seemed to enjoy it. However, we went out again at a later time and this time she made a serious error of judgement which would have caused an accident if there had been anything coming the other way. I didn't shout, get annoyed or grab the wheel during her error of judgement. I just calmly pointed out what she should have done instead. This mistake has totally shattered her confidence in her ability. How/what is the best way of restoring her confidence? She keeps dwelling on the fact that a serious accident could has resulted. I don't want to see her give up. What I've suggested is that we practice doing manoeuvres on a quiet industrial estate until she's had more experience with the driving instructor. Suggestions?
As I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, I fear no evil for I am the God of Death... and this is my valley. Aici zace un om despre care nu sestie prea mult
Take here somewhere quiet and practice some simple manoeuvres with her - better still, get your other half to do it. Get her to drive there and back, and make it a quick run - say 20 minutes. A few of these will help to restore confidence - don't point out to her that she's done it without incident because she will be convinced that you are dwelling on her imperfections. Part of the lack of confidence is a teenagers natural belief that parents are being critical.
Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads
My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier - my favourite utility
-
My teenage daughter has just recently started to learn to drive. She's had 8 hrs. of tuition with a qualified driving instructor so far; and at the weekend we went out for a 20 mile drive with her behind the wheel. She made a few mistakes but otherwise did very well in my opinion and she seemed to enjoy it. However, we went out again at a later time and this time she made a serious error of judgement which would have caused an accident if there had been anything coming the other way. I didn't shout, get annoyed or grab the wheel during her error of judgement. I just calmly pointed out what she should have done instead. This mistake has totally shattered her confidence in her ability. How/what is the best way of restoring her confidence? She keeps dwelling on the fact that a serious accident could has resulted. I don't want to see her give up. What I've suggested is that we practice doing manoeuvres on a quiet industrial estate until she's had more experience with the driving instructor. Suggestions?
As I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, I fear no evil for I am the God of Death... and this is my valley. Aici zace un om despre care nu sestie prea mult
I'm with norm on this one ;P On a serious note, let her know that you, just like everyone else also have made such mistake(s). You can be as experienced as you want to be, driving a car these days sometimes requires a bit of luck (like she had in the form of nobody else being around). Other than that, take her to practice on roads / places she knows well and feels safe. Driving on a road you'v never been before is always harder than driving on a road you see every day.
-
My teenage daughter has just recently started to learn to drive. She's had 8 hrs. of tuition with a qualified driving instructor so far; and at the weekend we went out for a 20 mile drive with her behind the wheel. She made a few mistakes but otherwise did very well in my opinion and she seemed to enjoy it. However, we went out again at a later time and this time she made a serious error of judgement which would have caused an accident if there had been anything coming the other way. I didn't shout, get annoyed or grab the wheel during her error of judgement. I just calmly pointed out what she should have done instead. This mistake has totally shattered her confidence in her ability. How/what is the best way of restoring her confidence? She keeps dwelling on the fact that a serious accident could has resulted. I don't want to see her give up. What I've suggested is that we practice doing manoeuvres on a quiet industrial estate until she's had more experience with the driving instructor. Suggestions?
As I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, I fear no evil for I am the God of Death... and this is my valley. Aici zace un om despre care nu sestie prea mult
Benjamin Breeg wrote:
I didn't shout, get annoyed or grab the wheel during her error of judgement. I just calmly pointed out what she should have done instead.
Good job, Dad :).
Benjamin Breeg wrote:
What I've suggested is that we practice doing manoeuvres on a quiet industrial estate until she's had more experience with the driving instructor.
You've got the right idea. That's exactly what I did with my daughter when I taught her how to drive four years ago. We started with her driving at the local fairgrounds and in an industrial park. After a while, if she felt up to it, she'd drive home from the practice area. Pretty soon she was driving every time we went somewhere together. Needless to say, she should get behind the wheel again as soon as possible so that her anxiety doesn't become permanent. I speak from experience; my sister-in-law had a rough moment when she was learning, and hasn't driven since. She's now 40 years old.
Software Zen:
delete this; -
My teenage daughter has just recently started to learn to drive. She's had 8 hrs. of tuition with a qualified driving instructor so far; and at the weekend we went out for a 20 mile drive with her behind the wheel. She made a few mistakes but otherwise did very well in my opinion and she seemed to enjoy it. However, we went out again at a later time and this time she made a serious error of judgement which would have caused an accident if there had been anything coming the other way. I didn't shout, get annoyed or grab the wheel during her error of judgement. I just calmly pointed out what she should have done instead. This mistake has totally shattered her confidence in her ability. How/what is the best way of restoring her confidence? She keeps dwelling on the fact that a serious accident could has resulted. I don't want to see her give up. What I've suggested is that we practice doing manoeuvres on a quiet industrial estate until she's had more experience with the driving instructor. Suggestions?
As I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, I fear no evil for I am the God of Death... and this is my valley. Aici zace un om despre care nu sestie prea mult
Sounds like your are doing the right thing. It is good that it shook her up, it reinforces the seriousness of the risks in driving a motor vehicle. To me what’s more frightening is your signature … :omg:
It was broke, so I fixed it.
-
Just tell her that Everyone does stuff like that when they are learning, it is perfectly normal and practice will always improve her driving. (Under no circumstances tell her the truth...That women are inherently dangerous behind the wheel, for no matter how hard they concentrate, at least 7% of their brains are thinking about shoes)
------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]
You do know that Lisa and the CP attack Ninja's are, as we speak, climbing into the plane to fly over and parachute in. Those Manolos can do some damage I believe.
Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads
My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier - my favourite utility
-
Benjamin Breeg wrote:
I didn't shout, get annoyed or grab the wheel during her error of judgement. I just calmly pointed out what she should have done instead.
Good job, Dad :).
Benjamin Breeg wrote:
What I've suggested is that we practice doing manoeuvres on a quiet industrial estate until she's had more experience with the driving instructor.
You've got the right idea. That's exactly what I did with my daughter when I taught her how to drive four years ago. We started with her driving at the local fairgrounds and in an industrial park. After a while, if she felt up to it, she'd drive home from the practice area. Pretty soon she was driving every time we went somewhere together. Needless to say, she should get behind the wheel again as soon as possible so that her anxiety doesn't become permanent. I speak from experience; my sister-in-law had a rough moment when she was learning, and hasn't driven since. She's now 40 years old.
Software Zen:
delete this;Gary Wheeler wrote:
We started with her driving at the local fairgrounds
That's dodgems, and isn't necessarily the best way of showing somebody that they can avoid collisions.
Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads
My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier - my favourite utility
-
My teenage daughter has just recently started to learn to drive. She's had 8 hrs. of tuition with a qualified driving instructor so far; and at the weekend we went out for a 20 mile drive with her behind the wheel. She made a few mistakes but otherwise did very well in my opinion and she seemed to enjoy it. However, we went out again at a later time and this time she made a serious error of judgement which would have caused an accident if there had been anything coming the other way. I didn't shout, get annoyed or grab the wheel during her error of judgement. I just calmly pointed out what she should have done instead. This mistake has totally shattered her confidence in her ability. How/what is the best way of restoring her confidence? She keeps dwelling on the fact that a serious accident could has resulted. I don't want to see her give up. What I've suggested is that we practice doing manoeuvres on a quiet industrial estate until she's had more experience with the driving instructor. Suggestions?
As I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, I fear no evil for I am the God of Death... and this is my valley. Aici zace un om despre care nu sestie prea mult
Driving instructors cannot teach "awareness", or "common sense". They can simply teach rules of the road and minimal vehicle handling. It's up to your daughter to "pay attention". The fewer in-car distractions there are, the more attention she can give to the task at hand. When you make mistakes, it's from a lack of experience. You gain experience from making mistakes. That's called "life". Believe me - she WILL NOT give up driving, but mistakes that she manages to survive will hopefully make her a better driver.
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
-----
You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
-----
"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997 -
Gary Wheeler wrote:
We started with her driving at the local fairgrounds
That's dodgems, and isn't necessarily the best way of showing somebody that they can avoid collisions.
Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads
My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier - my favourite utility
:rolleyes: Based on her dad's piss-poor driving record (I've totalled two vehicles of my own, and one of somebody else's, in the last ten years), it probably is a good training idea.
Software Zen:
delete this; -
My teenage daughter has just recently started to learn to drive. She's had 8 hrs. of tuition with a qualified driving instructor so far; and at the weekend we went out for a 20 mile drive with her behind the wheel. She made a few mistakes but otherwise did very well in my opinion and she seemed to enjoy it. However, we went out again at a later time and this time she made a serious error of judgement which would have caused an accident if there had been anything coming the other way. I didn't shout, get annoyed or grab the wheel during her error of judgement. I just calmly pointed out what she should have done instead. This mistake has totally shattered her confidence in her ability. How/what is the best way of restoring her confidence? She keeps dwelling on the fact that a serious accident could has resulted. I don't want to see her give up. What I've suggested is that we practice doing manoeuvres on a quiet industrial estate until she's had more experience with the driving instructor. Suggestions?
As I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, I fear no evil for I am the God of Death... and this is my valley. Aici zace un om despre care nu sestie prea mult
Big mistake to try and teach your own kids: leave it to the pros.
"If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair. nils illegitimus carborundum me, me, me
-
Just tell her that Everyone does stuff like that when they are learning, it is perfectly normal and practice will always improve her driving. (Under no circumstances tell her the truth...That women are inherently dangerous behind the wheel, for no matter how hard they concentrate, at least 7% of their brains are thinking about shoes)
------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]
-
My teenage daughter has just recently started to learn to drive. She's had 8 hrs. of tuition with a qualified driving instructor so far; and at the weekend we went out for a 20 mile drive with her behind the wheel. She made a few mistakes but otherwise did very well in my opinion and she seemed to enjoy it. However, we went out again at a later time and this time she made a serious error of judgement which would have caused an accident if there had been anything coming the other way. I didn't shout, get annoyed or grab the wheel during her error of judgement. I just calmly pointed out what she should have done instead. This mistake has totally shattered her confidence in her ability. How/what is the best way of restoring her confidence? She keeps dwelling on the fact that a serious accident could has resulted. I don't want to see her give up. What I've suggested is that we practice doing manoeuvres on a quiet industrial estate until she's had more experience with the driving instructor. Suggestions?
As I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, I fear no evil for I am the God of Death... and this is my valley. Aici zace un om despre care nu sestie prea mult
-
That REALLY deserves a 1 which I gave it. :mad:
It’s not because things are difficult that we do not dare, it’s because we do not dare that things are difficult. ~Seneca
-
Benjamin Breeg wrote:
My teenage daughter
Benjamin Breeg wrote:
Suggestions?
Take the keys off her :)
www.software-kinetics.co.uk Wear a hard hat it's nnder construction
Norm .net wrote:
Take the keys off her :)
I couldn't do that to her. It took a lot of persuading to get her to have a go at driving in the first place. She's a bright, intelligent lass but completely lacks confidence in her own abilities which are, most of the time, very good.
As I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, I fear no evil for I am the God of Death... and this is my valley. Aici zace un om despre care nu sestie prea mult
-
Big mistake to try and teach your own kids: leave it to the pros.
"If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair. nils illegitimus carborundum me, me, me
-
If you make a mistake that shakes you, you should get right back on the bike.
Double entendre doubly intended.
She's not *on* the bike - she *HIT* the bike. She'd have to back up to get back on it.
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
-----
You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
-----
"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997 -
Big mistake to try and teach your own kids: leave it to the pros.
"If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair. nils illegitimus carborundum me, me, me
Care to elaborate? I learned how to drive from my father and so did both of my brothers. And so far none of us have caused a accident (hoping it will stay that way). I agree that some people shouldn't teach there kids but these are a minority. The way I see it, if your not good enough to teach your kids how to drive then your not good enough to drive yourself.
-
Just tell her that Everyone does stuff like that when they are learning, it is perfectly normal and practice will always improve her driving. (Under no circumstances tell her the truth...That women are inherently dangerous behind the wheel, for no matter how hard they concentrate, at least 7% of their brains are thinking about shoes)
------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]
Dalek Dave wrote:
Just tell her that Everyone does stuff like that when they are learning, it is perfectly normal and practice will always improve her driving.
I have, I was even worse when I first learnt to drive over 30 years ago. It doesn't seem to cut any ice with her. You can't tell a woman anything! :laugh:
As I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, I fear no evil for I am the God of Death... and this is my valley. Aici zace un om despre care nu sestie prea mult
