Little Johnny at School
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One day in class, the teacher asked the class if they could put "contagious" into a sentence. Penelope put her hand up. "I can't be with my Daddy as he has the flu which is contagious." she says. "Vary good!" says the teacher. Simon offers "My dog has a sore leg but it isn't contagious so I can give him cuddles." "Excellent!" responds the teacher. Little Johnny stands up. "Our next-door neighbour had a yard of manure delivered yesterday and the truck just dropped it on their drive. When my Dad saw him come out with a wheelbarrow and shovel he said it's going to take that contagious to move it!"
Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett
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One day in class, the teacher asked the class if they could put "contagious" into a sentence. Penelope put her hand up. "I can't be with my Daddy as he has the flu which is contagious." she says. "Vary good!" says the teacher. Simon offers "My dog has a sore leg but it isn't contagious so I can give him cuddles." "Excellent!" responds the teacher. Little Johnny stands up. "Our next-door neighbour had a yard of manure delivered yesterday and the truck just dropped it on their drive. When my Dad saw him come out with a wheelbarrow and shovel he said it's going to take that contagious to move it!"
Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett
Wonderful stuff! :laugh:
"If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair. nils illegitimus carborundum me, me, me
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One day in class, the teacher asked the class if they could put "contagious" into a sentence. Penelope put her hand up. "I can't be with my Daddy as he has the flu which is contagious." she says. "Vary good!" says the teacher. Simon offers "My dog has a sore leg but it isn't contagious so I can give him cuddles." "Excellent!" responds the teacher. Little Johnny stands up. "Our next-door neighbour had a yard of manure delivered yesterday and the truck just dropped it on their drive. When my Dad saw him come out with a wheelbarrow and shovel he said it's going to take that contagious to move it!"
Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett
Good one...it took me a couple of times to get it. 5er
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One day in class, the teacher asked the class if they could put "contagious" into a sentence. Penelope put her hand up. "I can't be with my Daddy as he has the flu which is contagious." she says. "Vary good!" says the teacher. Simon offers "My dog has a sore leg but it isn't contagious so I can give him cuddles." "Excellent!" responds the teacher. Little Johnny stands up. "Our next-door neighbour had a yard of manure delivered yesterday and the truck just dropped it on their drive. When my Dad saw him come out with a wheelbarrow and shovel he said it's going to take that contagious to move it!"
Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett
One day the teacher decides to play an animal game. She holds up a picture of a giraffe and asks if anyone knows what it is. No one raises their hand. The teacher says "See it's long neck? What animal has a long neck?" Sally holds up her hand and asks if it is a giraffe. "Very good Sally," the teacher replies. Next she holds up a picture of a zebra. None of the students holds up their hands. "See the stripes on this animal? What animal has stripes?" Billy holds up his hand and says it is a zebra. "Very good Billy," the teacher replies. Next she holds up a picture of a deer. None of the students holds up their hand. "See the big antlers on this animal. What animal has horns like this?" Still no one guesses. "Let me give you another hint, it's something your mother calls your father." Johnny shouts out "I know what it is - it's a horny bastard!"
Real men don't use instructions. They are only the manufacturers opinion on how to put the thing together. Manfred R. Bihy: "Looks as if OP is learning resistant."
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One day in class, the teacher asked the class if they could put "contagious" into a sentence. Penelope put her hand up. "I can't be with my Daddy as he has the flu which is contagious." she says. "Vary good!" says the teacher. Simon offers "My dog has a sore leg but it isn't contagious so I can give him cuddles." "Excellent!" responds the teacher. Little Johnny stands up. "Our next-door neighbour had a yard of manure delivered yesterday and the truck just dropped it on their drive. When my Dad saw him come out with a wheelbarrow and shovel he said it's going to take that contagious to move it!"
Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett
