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  3. "Doc, you've gotta help me. My wife just isn't interested

"Doc, you've gotta help me. My wife just isn't interested

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  • G Offline
    G Offline
    gavindon
    wrote on last edited by
    #1

    "Doc, you've gotta help me. My wife just isn't interested in sex anymore. Haven't you got a pill or something I can give her?" "Look, I can't prescribe ..." "Doc, we've been friends for years. Have you ever seen me this upset? I am desperate! I can't think; I can't concentrate; my life is going utterly to Hell! You've got to help me." The doctor opens his desk drawer and removes a small bottle of pills. "Ordinarily, I wouldn't do this. These are experimental, the tests so far indicate that they're VERY powerful. Don't give her more than ONE, understand? JUST one." "I don't know, doc; she's awfully cold ..." "One. No more. In her coffee. Okay?" "Um ... okay." Our hero expresses gratitude, and departs for home, where his wife has dinner waiting. When dinner is finished, she goes to the kitchen to bring dessert. Our hero, in fumbling haste, pulls the pills from his pocket and drops one into his wife's coffee. He reflects for a moment, hesitates, then drops in a second pill. And then he begins to worry. The doctor did say they were powerful. Then an inspiration strikes: he drops one pill into his own coffee. His wife returns with the shortcake, and they enjoy their dessert and coffee, our hero with poorly concealed anticipation. Sure enough, a few minutes after they finish, his wife shudders a little, sighs deeply and heavily, and a strange smoky look enters her eyes. In a deep, throaty, near-whisper, in a tone of voice he has never heard her use before, she says, "I ... need ... a man ..." His eyes glitter and his hands tremble as he replies, "Me ... too ..."

    Programming is a race between programmers trying to build bigger and better idiot proof programs, and the universe trying to build bigger and better idiots, so far... the universe is winning. Be careful which toes you step on today, they might be connected to the foot that kicks your butt tomorrow. You can't scare me, I have children.

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    • G gavindon

      "Doc, you've gotta help me. My wife just isn't interested in sex anymore. Haven't you got a pill or something I can give her?" "Look, I can't prescribe ..." "Doc, we've been friends for years. Have you ever seen me this upset? I am desperate! I can't think; I can't concentrate; my life is going utterly to Hell! You've got to help me." The doctor opens his desk drawer and removes a small bottle of pills. "Ordinarily, I wouldn't do this. These are experimental, the tests so far indicate that they're VERY powerful. Don't give her more than ONE, understand? JUST one." "I don't know, doc; she's awfully cold ..." "One. No more. In her coffee. Okay?" "Um ... okay." Our hero expresses gratitude, and departs for home, where his wife has dinner waiting. When dinner is finished, she goes to the kitchen to bring dessert. Our hero, in fumbling haste, pulls the pills from his pocket and drops one into his wife's coffee. He reflects for a moment, hesitates, then drops in a second pill. And then he begins to worry. The doctor did say they were powerful. Then an inspiration strikes: he drops one pill into his own coffee. His wife returns with the shortcake, and they enjoy their dessert and coffee, our hero with poorly concealed anticipation. Sure enough, a few minutes after they finish, his wife shudders a little, sighs deeply and heavily, and a strange smoky look enters her eyes. In a deep, throaty, near-whisper, in a tone of voice he has never heard her use before, she says, "I ... need ... a man ..." His eyes glitter and his hands tremble as he replies, "Me ... too ..."

      Programming is a race between programmers trying to build bigger and better idiot proof programs, and the universe trying to build bigger and better idiots, so far... the universe is winning. Be careful which toes you step on today, they might be connected to the foot that kicks your butt tomorrow. You can't scare me, I have children.

      C Offline
      C Offline
      chethu665
      wrote on last edited by
      #2

      Repost from Soapbox.

      "Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction" -Pascal

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      • C chethu665

        Repost from Soapbox.

        "Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction" -Pascal

        G Offline
        G Offline
        gavindon
        wrote on last edited by
        #3

        stinkin search button failed me again.

        Programming is a race between programmers trying to build bigger and better idiot proof programs, and the universe trying to build bigger and better idiots, so far... the universe is winning. Be careful which toes you step on today, they might be connected to the foot that kicks your butt tomorrow. You can't scare me, I have children.

        W 1 Reply Last reply
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        • G gavindon

          stinkin search button failed me again.

          Programming is a race between programmers trying to build bigger and better idiot proof programs, and the universe trying to build bigger and better idiots, so far... the universe is winning. Be careful which toes you step on today, they might be connected to the foot that kicks your butt tomorrow. You can't scare me, I have children.

          W Offline
          W Offline
          walterhevedeich
          wrote on last edited by
          #4

          It may be a repost, but many haven't read it yet until you posted it. Have a 5.

          Do you think requirements should be met? Who told you so.SAKryukov
          Please see my solution.SAKryukov

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          • W walterhevedeich

            It may be a repost, but many haven't read it yet until you posted it. Have a 5.

            Do you think requirements should be met? Who told you so.SAKryukov
            Please see my solution.SAKryukov

            C Offline
            C Offline
            Chris Losinger
            wrote on last edited by
            #5

            and you get a 5 for that. down with the Repost Police.

            image processing toolkits | batch image processing

            A 1 Reply Last reply
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            • C chethu665

              Repost from Soapbox.

              "Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction" -Pascal

              N Offline
              N Offline
              Nagy Vilmos
              wrote on last edited by
              #6

              chethu665 wrote:

              Repost

              Link or it didn't happen.


              Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett

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              • C Chris Losinger

                and you get a 5 for that. down with the Repost Police.

                image processing toolkits | batch image processing

                A Offline
                A Offline
                AspDotNetDev
                wrote on last edited by
                #7

                Chris Losinger wrote:

                down with the Repost Police.

                Anarchist!

                Driven to the ARMs by x86.

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • N Nagy Vilmos

                  chethu665 wrote:

                  Repost

                  Link or it didn't happen.


                  Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett

                  A Offline
                  A Offline
                  AspDotNetDev
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #8

                  Unwritten (until now) rule: never link to more naughty sections of the site from less naughty sections, lest the innocents be tainted.

                  Driven to the ARMs by x86.

                  L 1 Reply Last reply
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                  • A AspDotNetDev

                    Unwritten (until now) rule: never link to more naughty sections of the site from less naughty sections, lest the innocents be tainted.

                    Driven to the ARMs by x86.

                    L Offline
                    L Offline
                    Lost User
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #9

                    Which is odd, seeing as how the site provides a nice handy link to them just over there to the left.

                    Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends.

                    1 Reply Last reply
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                    • N Nagy Vilmos

                      chethu665 wrote:

                      Repost

                      Link or it didn't happen.


                      Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett

                      G Offline
                      G Offline
                      gavindon
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #10

                      I wasn't going to argue about it being a repost, however in my defense I searched a number of different lines/ wording and did not find it anywhere. Having been a reposter a few times(and paying the derisive price) I have learned to at least attempt a search before posting.

                      Programming is a race between programmers trying to build bigger and better idiot proof programs, and the universe trying to build bigger and better idiots, so far... the universe is winning. Be careful which toes you step on today, they might be connected to the foot that kicks your butt tomorrow. You can't scare me, I have children.

                      S 1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • G gavindon

                        I wasn't going to argue about it being a repost, however in my defense I searched a number of different lines/ wording and did not find it anywhere. Having been a reposter a few times(and paying the derisive price) I have learned to at least attempt a search before posting.

                        Programming is a race between programmers trying to build bigger and better idiot proof programs, and the universe trying to build bigger and better idiots, so far... the universe is winning. Be careful which toes you step on today, they might be connected to the foot that kicks your butt tomorrow. You can't scare me, I have children.

                        S Offline
                        S Offline
                        Single Step Debugger
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #11

                        I’m pretty sure I’ve read this joke on CP (I have memory for such things) but it was at least 2-3 years ago. So practically your joke is not a repost by prescription.

                        There is only one Ashley Judd and Salma Hayek is her prophet! Advertise here – minimum three posts per day are guaranteed.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • G gavindon

                          "Doc, you've gotta help me. My wife just isn't interested in sex anymore. Haven't you got a pill or something I can give her?" "Look, I can't prescribe ..." "Doc, we've been friends for years. Have you ever seen me this upset? I am desperate! I can't think; I can't concentrate; my life is going utterly to Hell! You've got to help me." The doctor opens his desk drawer and removes a small bottle of pills. "Ordinarily, I wouldn't do this. These are experimental, the tests so far indicate that they're VERY powerful. Don't give her more than ONE, understand? JUST one." "I don't know, doc; she's awfully cold ..." "One. No more. In her coffee. Okay?" "Um ... okay." Our hero expresses gratitude, and departs for home, where his wife has dinner waiting. When dinner is finished, she goes to the kitchen to bring dessert. Our hero, in fumbling haste, pulls the pills from his pocket and drops one into his wife's coffee. He reflects for a moment, hesitates, then drops in a second pill. And then he begins to worry. The doctor did say they were powerful. Then an inspiration strikes: he drops one pill into his own coffee. His wife returns with the shortcake, and they enjoy their dessert and coffee, our hero with poorly concealed anticipation. Sure enough, a few minutes after they finish, his wife shudders a little, sighs deeply and heavily, and a strange smoky look enters her eyes. In a deep, throaty, near-whisper, in a tone of voice he has never heard her use before, she says, "I ... need ... a man ..." His eyes glitter and his hands tremble as he replies, "Me ... too ..."

                          Programming is a race between programmers trying to build bigger and better idiot proof programs, and the universe trying to build bigger and better idiots, so far... the universe is winning. Be careful which toes you step on today, they might be connected to the foot that kicks your butt tomorrow. You can't scare me, I have children.

                          P Offline
                          P Offline
                          PIEBALDconsult
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #12

                          I figured it would be a sleeping pill so he could go out without her knowing. And see Alice.

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