Historical insults
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"You shut your mouth when you're talking to me!" -- My Friends
Martin Fowler wrote:
Any fool can write code that a computer can understand. Good programmers write code that humans can understand.
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These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.
- The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison." He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."
- A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease." "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."
- "He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr
- "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill
- "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow
- "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).
- "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain
- "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.." - Oscar Wilde
- "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second.... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.
- "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop
- "He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright
- "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating
- "In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand
- "He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker
- "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain
- "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West
- "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.." - Oscar Wilde
- "He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
- "He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder
- "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx
/ravi
Another that you might choose to add to your list
The more he talked of his honour, the faster we counted the silverware.
Often attributed to R.W.Emerson but I have seen citations (that, needless to say, I can't find at the moment) much earlier than he, as suggested here[^].
Henry Minute Do not read medical books! You could die of a misprint. - Mark Twain Girl: (staring) "Why do you need an icy cucumber?" “I want to report a fraud. The government is lying to us all.” I wouldn't let CG touch my Abacus! When you're wrestling a gorilla, you don't stop when you're tired, you stop when the gorilla is.
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Bet Amy Winehouse would be higher than 41 if they did it now. I'm still not exactly sure what a Justin Beiber is. Just that any humerous website with an American presence tends to mock it a lot.
Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends.
ChrisElston wrote:
I'm still not exactly sure what a Justin Beiber is.
Yet you have his pic for your profile image? Oh wait that's JC, I always mix them up. :rolleyes:
Regards, Nish
Are you addicted to CP? If so, check this out: The Code Project Forum Analyzer : Find out how much of a life you don't have! My technology blog: voidnish.wordpress.com
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Ravi Bhavnani wrote:
"He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr
I love that one. I shall be stealing it henceforth. It describes a few people I've had to work with over the years. Then there are the ones who's delusions exceeded adequacy.... I have to say they were worse.
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All worth a 5 but could only give you one I'll let you determine which one. :)
I may be schizophrenic, but at least I have each other.
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These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.
- The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison." He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."
- A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease." "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."
- "He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr
- "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill
- "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow
- "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).
- "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain
- "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.." - Oscar Wilde
- "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second.... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.
- "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop
- "He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright
- "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating
- "In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand
- "He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker
- "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain
- "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West
- "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.." - Oscar Wilde
- "He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
- "He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder
- "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx
/ravi
"[John Adams has a ... ] hideous hermaphroditical character which has neither the force and firmness of a man, nor the gentleness and sensibility of a woman." a Thomas Jefferson attack piece, 1800.
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Probably being tedious and hypocritically preachy somewhere.
Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends.
That's just what he wants you to think, so you're distracted when he roundhouse kicks you across the face.
The United States invariably does the right thing, after having exhausted every other alternative. -Winston Churchill America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between. -Oscar Wilde Wow, even the French showed a little more spine than that before they got their sh*t pushed in.[^] -Colin Mullikin
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"You shut your mouth when you're talking to me!" -- My Friends
Martin Fowler wrote:
Any fool can write code that a computer can understand. Good programmers write code that humans can understand.
When we were younger, one of my friends swore (don't remember what he said), but his mom responded with, "You watch your god damn mouth, you little sh*t!" Luckily, I was around the corner because I couldn't prevent my self from laughing at the hypocrisy.
The United States invariably does the right thing, after having exhausted every other alternative. -Winston Churchill America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between. -Oscar Wilde Wow, even the French showed a little more spine than that before they got their sh*t pushed in.[^] -Colin Mullikin
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Ravi Bhavnani wrote:
"He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr
I love that one. I shall be stealing it henceforth. It describes a few people I've had to work with over the years. Then there are the ones who's delusions exceeded adequacy.... I have to say they were worse.
thrakazog wrote:
It describes a few people I've had to work the pleasure of working with over the years.
FTFY! :laugh: :laugh:
The United States invariably does the right thing, after having exhausted every other alternative. -Winston Churchill America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between. -Oscar Wilde Wow, even the French showed a little more spine than that before they got their sh*t pushed in.[^] -Colin Mullikin
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"Retards generally don't do well in Codeproject contests. I'm not necessarily calling you a retard - just making an observation that is nonetheless relevant." - JSOP
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997It's probably a bit out of taste to quote yourself, but I think in this case, it is definitely acceptable. That insult is pretty direct, despite it's indirectness... if that makes any sense...
The United States invariably does the right thing, after having exhausted every other alternative. -Winston Churchill America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between. -Oscar Wilde Wow, even the French showed a little more spine than that before they got their sh*t pushed in.[^] -Colin Mullikin
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It's probably a bit out of taste to quote yourself, but I think in this case, it is definitely acceptable. That insult is pretty direct, despite it's indirectness... if that makes any sense...
The United States invariably does the right thing, after having exhausted every other alternative. -Winston Churchill America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between. -Oscar Wilde Wow, even the French showed a little more spine than that before they got their sh*t pushed in.[^] -Colin Mullikin
I think it's one of my better ones. :)
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997 -
These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.
- The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison." He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."
- A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease." "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."
- "He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr
- "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill
- "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow
- "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).
- "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain
- "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.." - Oscar Wilde
- "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second.... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.
- "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop
- "He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright
- "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating
- "In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand
- "He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker
- "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain
- "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West
- "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.." - Oscar Wilde
- "He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
- "He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder
- "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx
/ravi
Many years ago the mayor of Columbus, Ohio was stopped in the early hours of the morning for drunk driving. Asked what he was doing he answered: "I'm not drunk, I'm inspecting the city!" Unfortunately, it was so long ago I cannot find a search geek reference, so do not remember the mayor's name.
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Many years ago the mayor of Columbus, Ohio was stopped in the early hours of the morning for drunk driving. Asked what he was doing he answered: "I'm not drunk, I'm inspecting the city!" Unfortunately, it was so long ago I cannot find a search geek reference, so do not remember the mayor's name.
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Thanks, I thought it was him but ... What was the topic? :-D
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Thanks, I thought it was him but ... What was the topic? :-D
djj55 wrote:
Many years ago the mayor of Columbus, Ohio was stopped in the early hours of the morning for drunk driving. Asked what he was doing he answered: "I'm not drunk, I'm inspecting the city!"
:) /ravi
My new year resolution: 2048 x 1536 Home | Articles | My .NET bits | Freeware ravib(at)ravib(dot)com
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djj55 wrote:
Many years ago the mayor of Columbus, Ohio was stopped in the early hours of the morning for drunk driving. Asked what he was doing he answered: "I'm not drunk, I'm inspecting the city!"
:) /ravi
My new year resolution: 2048 x 1536 Home | Articles | My .NET bits | Freeware ravib(at)ravib(dot)com
:laugh:
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Or the more recent reddit picture comment over a photo of justin bieber drinking coffee with selena gomez - 2 girls, 1 cup.
Regards, Nish
Are you addicted to CP? If so, check this out: The Code Project Forum Analyzer : Find out how much of a life you don't have! My technology blog: voidnish.wordpress.com
-
These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.
- The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison." He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."
- A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease." "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."
- "He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr
- "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill
- "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow
- "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).
- "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain
- "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.." - Oscar Wilde
- "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second.... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.
- "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop
- "He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright
- "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating
- "In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand
- "He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker
- "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain
- "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West
- "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.." - Oscar Wilde
- "He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
- "He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder
- "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx
/ravi
Ravi Bhavnani wrote:
He has Van Gogh's ear for music
Check out the Van Gogh DisappEARing Mug. :-D
Martin Fowler wrote:
Any fool can write code that a computer can understand. Good programmers write code that humans can understand.
-
Ravi Bhavnani wrote:
He has Van Gogh's ear for music
Check out the Van Gogh DisappEARing Mug. :-D
Martin Fowler wrote:
Any fool can write code that a computer can understand. Good programmers write code that humans can understand.
