MDJOTD Part deux
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Ole was hunting geese up in the slough. He leaned the old 12 gauge against the corner of the blind to take a leak. As luck would have it, the foolish dog knocked the gun over, it went off, and Ole took most of an ounce of buckshot in the groin. Several hours later, lying in a Sleepy Eye, MN, hospital bed, he comes to, and there is his doctor, Sven. "Vell Ole, I got some good news and some bad news. The good news is that you are going to be OK. The damage was local to your groin, there was very little internal damage, and we were able to remove all of the buckshot." "What's the bad news?" asks Ole. "The bad news is that there was some pretty extensive buckshot damage done to your penis. I'm going to have to refer you to my sister, Lena ." "Well, I guess that isn't too bad," says Ole. "Is your sister a plastic surgeon?" "Not exactly," Sven says. "She's a flute player in the Minnesota Symphony Orchestra. She's going to teach you vhere to put your fingers so you don't pee in your eye."
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IMHO, this is one of the best jokes yet. Too bad 5 is all I can give you. :)
Just along for the ride. "the meat from that butcher is just the dogs danglies, absolutely amazing cuts of beef." - DaveAuld (2011)
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IMHO, this is one of the best jokes yet. Too bad 5 is all I can give you. :)
Just along for the ride. "the meat from that butcher is just the dogs danglies, absolutely amazing cuts of beef." - DaveAuld (2011)
I take cash also. :)
The problem with borrowing money from China is 30 mins. later you feel broke again.
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Ole was hunting geese up in the slough. He leaned the old 12 gauge against the corner of the blind to take a leak. As luck would have it, the foolish dog knocked the gun over, it went off, and Ole took most of an ounce of buckshot in the groin. Several hours later, lying in a Sleepy Eye, MN, hospital bed, he comes to, and there is his doctor, Sven. "Vell Ole, I got some good news and some bad news. The good news is that you are going to be OK. The damage was local to your groin, there was very little internal damage, and we were able to remove all of the buckshot." "What's the bad news?" asks Ole. "The bad news is that there was some pretty extensive buckshot damage done to your penis. I'm going to have to refer you to my sister, Lena ." "Well, I guess that isn't too bad," says Ole. "Is your sister a plastic surgeon?" "Not exactly," Sven says. "She's a flute player in the Minnesota Symphony Orchestra. She's going to teach you vhere to put your fingers so you don't pee in your eye."
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The only way to improve this joke is to hear it spoken by a Minnesotan of norse heritage. Yah. :)
Chris Meech I am Canadian. [heard in a local bar] In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is. [Yogi Berra] posting about Crystal Reports here is like discussing gay marriage on a catholic church’s website.[Nishant Sivakumar]
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The only way to improve this joke is to hear it spoken by a Minnesotan of norse heritage. Yah. :)
Chris Meech I am Canadian. [heard in a local bar] In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is. [Yogi Berra] posting about Crystal Reports here is like discussing gay marriage on a catholic church’s website.[Nishant Sivakumar]
I got a BIL that lives in N. Wisconsin I can give you his number and he can tell it. He's got somewhat of an accent. :)
The problem with borrowing money from China is 30 mins. later you feel broke again.
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Ole was hunting geese up in the slough. He leaned the old 12 gauge against the corner of the blind to take a leak. As luck would have it, the foolish dog knocked the gun over, it went off, and Ole took most of an ounce of buckshot in the groin. Several hours later, lying in a Sleepy Eye, MN, hospital bed, he comes to, and there is his doctor, Sven. "Vell Ole, I got some good news and some bad news. The good news is that you are going to be OK. The damage was local to your groin, there was very little internal damage, and we were able to remove all of the buckshot." "What's the bad news?" asks Ole. "The bad news is that there was some pretty extensive buckshot damage done to your penis. I'm going to have to refer you to my sister, Lena ." "Well, I guess that isn't too bad," says Ole. "Is your sister a plastic surgeon?" "Not exactly," Sven says. "She's a flute player in the Minnesota Symphony Orchestra. She's going to teach you vhere to put your fingers so you don't pee in your eye."
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IMHO, this is the oldest joke you've told so far. But it's funny none the less.
The 3-legged stool of understanding is held up by history, languages, and mathematics. Equipped with these three you can learn anything you want to learn. But if you lack any one of them you are just another ignorant peasant with dung on your boots. R. A. H.
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IMHO, this is the oldest joke you've told so far. But it's funny none the less.
The 3-legged stool of understanding is held up by history, languages, and mathematics. Equipped with these three you can learn anything you want to learn. But if you lack any one of them you are just another ignorant peasant with dung on your boots. R. A. H.
Hey we're a couple of oldsters and have probably heard every joke in the book but these youngun's ain't heard em yet. There's a bar at the beach I used to go to and got to be friends with the owner and he told me "there ain't a joke I don't know". I would spend hours telling him jokes that I knew and the SOB would tell me the punch line before I finished. I guess it's going to be that way with you too eh? :)
The problem with borrowing money from China is 30 mins. later you feel broke again.
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Hey we're a couple of oldsters and have probably heard every joke in the book but these youngun's ain't heard em yet. There's a bar at the beach I used to go to and got to be friends with the owner and he told me "there ain't a joke I don't know". I would spend hours telling him jokes that I knew and the SOB would tell me the punch line before I finished. I guess it's going to be that way with you too eh? :)
The problem with borrowing money from China is 30 mins. later you feel broke again.
Mike Hankey wrote:
I knew and the SOB would tell me the punch line before I finished. I guess it's going to
be that way with you too eh?Let's put it to the test... A bear sits down at a bar, the bartender refuses to serve a bear, so the bear gets angry and bites a big chunk out of the bar... The bar tender refuses to serve the bear again (for a different reason), punchline please!
Silence is golden... but duct tape is silver!! Booger Mobile - My bright green 1964 Ford Falcon - check out the blog here!! | If you feel generous - make a donation to Camp Quality!!
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Mike Hankey wrote:
I knew and the SOB would tell me the punch line before I finished. I guess it's going to
be that way with you too eh?Let's put it to the test... A bear sits down at a bar, the bartender refuses to serve a bear, so the bear gets angry and bites a big chunk out of the bar... The bar tender refuses to serve the bear again (for a different reason), punchline please!
Silence is golden... but duct tape is silver!! Booger Mobile - My bright green 1964 Ford Falcon - check out the blog here!! | If you feel generous - make a donation to Camp Quality!!
Bear with me on this one, could it be this one? A bear walks into a bar and sits down. He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer. The bartender approaches and says "we don't serve beer to bears in bars in Billings." The bear, becoming angry, demands again that he be served a beer. The bartender again tells him "WE don't serve beer to bears in bars in Billings". The bear, very angry now, says "if you don't serve me a beer, I'm going to eat that lady sitting at the end of the bar." The bartender, once again says " sorry, we don't serve beer to bears in bars in Billings." The bear goes to the end of the bar, and as promised, eats the woman. He comes back to his seat and again demands a beer. The bartender says "sorry, we don't serve beer to bears in bars in Billings Montana that are on drugs." The bear says I'm not on drugs. The bar tender says yes you are, that was a barbitchyouate
The problem with borrowing money from China is 30 mins. later you feel broke again.
modified on Wednesday, August 3, 2011 7:25 AM
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Bear with me on this one, could it be this one? A bear walks into a bar and sits down. He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer. The bartender approaches and says "we don't serve beer to bears in bars in Billings." The bear, becoming angry, demands again that he be served a beer. The bartender again tells him "WE don't serve beer to bears in bars in Billings". The bear, very angry now, says "if you don't serve me a beer, I'm going to eat that lady sitting at the end of the bar." The bartender, once again says " sorry, we don't serve beer to bears in bars in Billings." The bear goes to the end of the bar, and as promised, eats the woman. He comes back to his seat and again demands a beer. The bartender says "sorry, we don't serve beer to bears in bars in Billings Montana that are on drugs." The bear says I'm not on drugs. The bar tender says yes you are, that was a barbitchyouate
The problem with borrowing money from China is 30 mins. later you feel broke again.
modified on Wednesday, August 3, 2011 7:25 AM
Yeah, that's the one!! Did you googlicate, or know it off hand? Although my version has the bear taking a bite out of the bar... it's the bar bit you ate!!
Silence is golden... but duct tape is silver!! Booger Mobile - My bright green 1964 Ford Falcon - check out the blog here!! | If you feel generous - make a donation to Camp Quality!!
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Yeah, that's the one!! Did you googlicate, or know it off hand? Although my version has the bear taking a bite out of the bar... it's the bar bit you ate!!
Silence is golden... but duct tape is silver!! Booger Mobile - My bright green 1964 Ford Falcon - check out the blog here!! | If you feel generous - make a donation to Camp Quality!!
:-O I googlicated it. But I was being a smart butt I had no idea that that was the joke. Lucky guess. (Pat myself on the back)
The problem with borrowing money from China is 30 mins. later you feel broke again.
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:-O I googlicated it. But I was being a smart butt I had no idea that that was the joke. Lucky guess. (Pat myself on the back)
The problem with borrowing money from China is 30 mins. later you feel broke again.
:laugh: :laugh: I love sitting around the camp fire (drinking and) telling jokes... but I need someone else in the group to be telling them also, as they tell one it reminds me of a few others and we bounce back and forth...
Silence is golden... but duct tape is silver!! Booger Mobile - My bright green 1964 Ford Falcon - check out the blog here!! | If you feel generous - make a donation to Camp Quality!!
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:laugh: :laugh: I love sitting around the camp fire (drinking and) telling jokes... but I need someone else in the group to be telling them also, as they tell one it reminds me of a few others and we bounce back and forth...
Silence is golden... but duct tape is silver!! Booger Mobile - My bright green 1964 Ford Falcon - check out the blog here!! | If you feel generous - make a donation to Camp Quality!!
Yeah me too! It's always fun when around a camp fire.
The problem with borrowing money from China is 30 mins. later you feel broke again.
