Salesman - why don't they get it?
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Our company has been working on a system that provides a web front end to databases held on our server that's accessible over the internet, we've used it successfully internally and now the sales guys are trying to sell it to external clients and today's big buzzword is "Cloud Computing". It's not cloud computing, it doesn't run in a cloud, we don't offer cloud services, it doesn't even look like a cloud, yet because it's accessible via the web the sales guy keeps sending me select definitions of cloud computing that our system tenuously falls into; no matter what I say he's dead set on selling it as a cloud computing service/platform. :doh: Anyone else had a product that their sales dept completely got the wrong end of the stick with???
0. Buy a baseball bat. 1. Hit the salesman with the baseball bat. 2. If salesman not dead, repeat #1. It is the only accepted way to deal with sales.
Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett
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I don't think the point should be does he not understand what it is, the point is do the potential customers want what he is telling them it is. People want to buy something they have heard of, something they think is good, something they think they need, even (especially) if they have no idea at all what it actually is.
Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends.
In summary, people are idiots.
Will Rogers never met me.
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In summary, people are idiots.
Will Rogers never met me.
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In summary, people are idiots.
Will Rogers never met me.
Roger Wright wrote:
people are idiots.
Salespeople doubly so.
Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett
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Our company has been working on a system that provides a web front end to databases held on our server that's accessible over the internet, we've used it successfully internally and now the sales guys are trying to sell it to external clients and today's big buzzword is "Cloud Computing". It's not cloud computing, it doesn't run in a cloud, we don't offer cloud services, it doesn't even look like a cloud, yet because it's accessible via the web the sales guy keeps sending me select definitions of cloud computing that our system tenuously falls into; no matter what I say he's dead set on selling it as a cloud computing service/platform. :doh: Anyone else had a product that their sales dept completely got the wrong end of the stick with???
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I don't think the point should be does he not understand what it is, the point is do the potential customers want what he is telling them it is. People want to buy something they have heard of, something they think is good, something they think they need, even (especially) if they have no idea at all what it actually is.
Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends.
True, but when clients start demanding services that don't exist because you missold them the product you've got a problem.
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Roger Wright wrote:
people are idiots.
Salespeople doubly so.
Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett
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Our company has been working on a system that provides a web front end to databases held on our server that's accessible over the internet, we've used it successfully internally and now the sales guys are trying to sell it to external clients and today's big buzzword is "Cloud Computing". It's not cloud computing, it doesn't run in a cloud, we don't offer cloud services, it doesn't even look like a cloud, yet because it's accessible via the web the sales guy keeps sending me select definitions of cloud computing that our system tenuously falls into; no matter what I say he's dead set on selling it as a cloud computing service/platform. :doh: Anyone else had a product that their sales dept completely got the wrong end of the stick with???
salesmen aren't in the business of enforcing pedantic definitions of obscure tech; they're in the business of getting people to hand them cash: by whatever means necessary.
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Vark111 wrote:
Sales - making pond scum everywhere
Ever tried it? Ever tried selling? Easy is it? Be very gratefull there are people who CAN do it, a LOT better than you, who generate YOUR salary. Be a bit gratefull eh? We arent all made the same, cant all do the same jobs, but that doesnt make you a higher for, of life.
============================== Nothing to say.
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Our company has been working on a system that provides a web front end to databases held on our server that's accessible over the internet, we've used it successfully internally and now the sales guys are trying to sell it to external clients and today's big buzzword is "Cloud Computing". It's not cloud computing, it doesn't run in a cloud, we don't offer cloud services, it doesn't even look like a cloud, yet because it's accessible via the web the sales guy keeps sending me select definitions of cloud computing that our system tenuously falls into; no matter what I say he's dead set on selling it as a cloud computing service/platform. :doh: Anyone else had a product that their sales dept completely got the wrong end of the stick with???
-
Our company has been working on a system that provides a web front end to databases held on our server that's accessible over the internet, we've used it successfully internally and now the sales guys are trying to sell it to external clients and today's big buzzword is "Cloud Computing". It's not cloud computing, it doesn't run in a cloud, we don't offer cloud services, it doesn't even look like a cloud, yet because it's accessible via the web the sales guy keeps sending me select definitions of cloud computing that our system tenuously falls into; no matter what I say he's dead set on selling it as a cloud computing service/platform. :doh: Anyone else had a product that their sales dept completely got the wrong end of the stick with???
Salesmen aren't paid to "get it". They're paid to "sell it".
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997 -
Vark111 wrote:
Sales - making pond scum everywhere
Ever tried it? Ever tried selling? Easy is it? Be very gratefull there are people who CAN do it, a LOT better than you, who generate YOUR salary. Be a bit gratefull eh? We arent all made the same, cant all do the same jobs, but that doesnt make you a higher for, of life.
============================== Nothing to say.
I suppose you don't like it when people say similar things about lawyers. These things are said in jest you know, there's no need to get all uppity about it.
-SK Genius
Vehicle Simulation Demo - New and Improved!
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Vark111 wrote:
Sales - making pond scum everywhere
Ever tried it? Ever tried selling? Easy is it? Be very gratefull there are people who CAN do it, a LOT better than you, who generate YOUR salary. Be a bit gratefull eh? We arent all made the same, cant all do the same jobs, but that doesnt make you a higher for, of life.
============================== Nothing to say.
Oooo. touchy! If I was to guess that you work in sales, would I be wrong?
Pete
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Vark111 wrote:
Sales - making pond scum everywhere
Ever tried it? Ever tried selling? Easy is it? Be very gratefull there are people who CAN do it, a LOT better than you, who generate YOUR salary. Be a bit gratefull eh? We arent all made the same, cant all do the same jobs, but that doesnt make you a higher for, of life.
============================== Nothing to say.
In fact I have. Wasn't the greatest at it, but could hold my own. Decided to leave after a while because to be honest, I'm not a "people person" and that's a fairly big requirement to be a spectacular sales person. I have the utmost respect for my sales-oriented brethren, but if they try to sell something that doesn't exist I will call them pond scum to their face and they accept it with a smile while calling me nerd back to my face. It's called friendly banter. Maybe you should try it someday with one of your friends.
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Our company has been working on a system that provides a web front end to databases held on our server that's accessible over the internet, we've used it successfully internally and now the sales guys are trying to sell it to external clients and today's big buzzword is "Cloud Computing". It's not cloud computing, it doesn't run in a cloud, we don't offer cloud services, it doesn't even look like a cloud, yet because it's accessible via the web the sales guy keeps sending me select definitions of cloud computing that our system tenuously falls into; no matter what I say he's dead set on selling it as a cloud computing service/platform. :doh: Anyone else had a product that their sales dept completely got the wrong end of the stick with???
As long as he sells it, he could sell it as omnipotent multidimensional ashtray from Betelgeutse 3. Only if he sells functionality that isn't in that ashtray you can be pissed. Just make sure you have solid specs that state what you do, and what are the limits, and make sure the customer buys based on the spec, not on the cloud your sales guy produces. --- One might ask, of course, whether adding buzzwords will increase sales.
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I suppose you don't like it when people say similar things about lawyers. These things are said in jest you know, there's no need to get all uppity about it.
-SK Genius
Vehicle Simulation Demo - New and Improved!
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Oooo. touchy! If I was to guess that you work in sales, would I be wrong?
Pete
Yeah, a mile out. I am a Windows kernel dev, therefore even more superior to you normal devs. :) I just respect everyones ability and contribution to a firm. As a dev I will bend over backwards to get any fancy feature they want in the product, no fights, no problem, because it makes it sell better and makes us all more money.
============================== Nothing to say.
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I suppose you don't like it when people say similar things about lawyers. These things are said in jest you know, there's no need to get all uppity about it.
-SK Genius
Vehicle Simulation Demo - New and Improved!
SK Genius wrote:
These things are said in jest you know, there's no need to get all uppity start acting like a troll about it.
FTFY. :)
Chris Meech I am Canadian. [heard in a local bar] In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is. [Yogi Berra] posting about Crystal Reports here is like discussing gay marriage on a catholic church’s website.[Nishant Sivakumar]
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In fact I have. Wasn't the greatest at it, but could hold my own. Decided to leave after a while because to be honest, I'm not a "people person" and that's a fairly big requirement to be a spectacular sales person. I have the utmost respect for my sales-oriented brethren, but if they try to sell something that doesn't exist I will call them pond scum to their face and they accept it with a smile while calling me nerd back to my face. It's called friendly banter. Maybe you should try it someday with one of your friends.
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0. Buy a baseball bat. 1. Hit the salesman with the baseball bat. 2. If salesman not dead, repeat #1. It is the only accepted way to deal with sales.
Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett
Nagy Vilmos wrote:
It is the only accepted way to deal with sales.
Naw, sales are OK. You need sales. It's the salesmen that are the PITA! :)
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