My GF had a bad year.
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August - She got locked out of her car in the middle of a rain storm. The car was swamped, because the top was down. September - She asked me, "The capital of California is 'C'.....isn't it?" October - She hates M & M's because they are so hard to peel. November - She baked our Thanksgiving turkey for 4 1/2 days since the instructions said 1 hour per pound and she weighs 110 lbs. December - We had a kitchen fire but she couldn't call 911. She couldn't find the "eleven" button on the phone. January - She took a new scarf back to store because it was too tight. February - Fired from her pharmacy job for failing to print labels. She tried but the bottles wouldn't fit in typewriter. March - She was really happy because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months when the box said "2-4 years." April - She was trapped on escalator for hours because the power went out. May - She tried to make Kool-Aid and failed. 8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets. June - She wanted to go water skiing, but she couldn't find a lake with a slope. July - Instead of water skiing, she entered a swimming competition and lost the breast stroke event because the other swimmers cheated, and used their arms.
“Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one." ~ Albert Einstein
:doh:
Programming is a race between programmers trying to build bigger and better idiot proof programs, and the universe trying to build bigger and better idiots, so far... the universe is winning. Be careful which toes you step on today, they might be connected to the foot that kicks your butt tomorrow. You can't scare me, I have children.
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August - She got locked out of her car in the middle of a rain storm. The car was swamped, because the top was down. September - She asked me, "The capital of California is 'C'.....isn't it?" October - She hates M & M's because they are so hard to peel. November - She baked our Thanksgiving turkey for 4 1/2 days since the instructions said 1 hour per pound and she weighs 110 lbs. December - We had a kitchen fire but she couldn't call 911. She couldn't find the "eleven" button on the phone. January - She took a new scarf back to store because it was too tight. February - Fired from her pharmacy job for failing to print labels. She tried but the bottles wouldn't fit in typewriter. March - She was really happy because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months when the box said "2-4 years." April - She was trapped on escalator for hours because the power went out. May - She tried to make Kool-Aid and failed. 8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets. June - She wanted to go water skiing, but she couldn't find a lake with a slope. July - Instead of water skiing, she entered a swimming competition and lost the breast stroke event because the other swimmers cheated, and used their arms.
“Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one." ~ Albert Einstein
Sounds like my kind of woman...you going to invite me to Thanksgiving dinner this year I'm available in May. :)
A girl phoned me and said, 'Come on over. There's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home! Rodney Dangerfield
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Sounds like my kind of woman...you going to invite me to Thanksgiving dinner this year I'm available in May. :)
A girl phoned me and said, 'Come on over. There's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home! Rodney Dangerfield
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Mike Hankey wrote:
I'm available in May
You only can come in May? Well, bring her along - do you like breast or thigh?
“Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one." ~ Albert Einstein
Oh I'm definitely a breast man. :)
A girl phoned me and said, 'Come on over. There's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home! Rodney Dangerfield
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August - She got locked out of her car in the middle of a rain storm. The car was swamped, because the top was down. September - She asked me, "The capital of California is 'C'.....isn't it?" October - She hates M & M's because they are so hard to peel. November - She baked our Thanksgiving turkey for 4 1/2 days since the instructions said 1 hour per pound and she weighs 110 lbs. December - We had a kitchen fire but she couldn't call 911. She couldn't find the "eleven" button on the phone. January - She took a new scarf back to store because it was too tight. February - Fired from her pharmacy job for failing to print labels. She tried but the bottles wouldn't fit in typewriter. March - She was really happy because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months when the box said "2-4 years." April - She was trapped on escalator for hours because the power went out. May - She tried to make Kool-Aid and failed. 8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets. June - She wanted to go water skiing, but she couldn't find a lake with a slope. July - Instead of water skiing, she entered a swimming competition and lost the breast stroke event because the other swimmers cheated, and used their arms.
“Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one." ~ Albert Einstein
As politically incorrect as these are, I have to admit I chuckled a bit at a few of those. If this is your girlfriend, however, I worry about your intellectual stability. :)
I wasn't, now I am, then I won't be anymore.
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Oh I'm definitely a breast man. :)
A girl phoned me and said, 'Come on over. There's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home! Rodney Dangerfield
Why be picky...
I wasn't, now I am, then I won't be anymore.
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Why be picky...
I wasn't, now I am, then I won't be anymore.
I didn't say I was picky just a preference. Hell at my age all I can do is sit on the porch I'm to old to chase em anymore. :)
A girl phoned me and said, 'Come on over. There's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home! Rodney Dangerfield
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August - She got locked out of her car in the middle of a rain storm. The car was swamped, because the top was down. September - She asked me, "The capital of California is 'C'.....isn't it?" October - She hates M & M's because they are so hard to peel. November - She baked our Thanksgiving turkey for 4 1/2 days since the instructions said 1 hour per pound and she weighs 110 lbs. December - We had a kitchen fire but she couldn't call 911. She couldn't find the "eleven" button on the phone. January - She took a new scarf back to store because it was too tight. February - Fired from her pharmacy job for failing to print labels. She tried but the bottles wouldn't fit in typewriter. March - She was really happy because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months when the box said "2-4 years." April - She was trapped on escalator for hours because the power went out. May - She tried to make Kool-Aid and failed. 8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets. June - She wanted to go water skiing, but she couldn't find a lake with a slope. July - Instead of water skiing, she entered a swimming competition and lost the breast stroke event because the other swimmers cheated, and used their arms.
“Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one." ~ Albert Einstein
Re December. I saw a news report a couple of years ago (which claimed to be true) where some elderly lady was suing the ambulance service in her locality because of the lack of an '11' key on her telephone.
Unrequited desire is character building. OriginalGriff
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As politically incorrect as these are, I have to admit I chuckled a bit at a few of those. If this is your girlfriend, however, I worry about your intellectual stability. :)
I wasn't, now I am, then I won't be anymore.
Just modify them to be blonde jokes, then the PC mavens will be satisfied.
If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader." - John Quincy Adams
You must accept one of two basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe, or we are not alone in the universe. And either way, the implications are staggering” - Wernher von Braun -
As politically incorrect as these are, I have to admit I chuckled a bit at a few of those. If this is your girlfriend, however, I worry about your intellectual stability. :)
I wasn't, now I am, then I won't be anymore.
