Skip to content
  • Categories
  • Recent
  • Tags
  • Popular
  • World
  • Users
  • Groups
Skins
  • Light
  • Cerulean
  • Cosmo
  • Flatly
  • Journal
  • Litera
  • Lumen
  • Lux
  • Materia
  • Minty
  • Morph
  • Pulse
  • Sandstone
  • Simplex
  • Sketchy
  • Spacelab
  • United
  • Yeti
  • Zephyr
  • Dark
  • Cyborg
  • Darkly
  • Quartz
  • Slate
  • Solar
  • Superhero
  • Vapor

  • Default (No Skin)
  • No Skin
Collapse
Code Project
  1. Home
  2. Other Discussions
  3. The Soapbox
  4. Stuttering Cat

Stuttering Cat

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved The Soapbox
19 Posts 9 Posters 0 Views 1 Watching
  • Oldest to Newest
  • Newest to Oldest
  • Most Votes
Reply
  • Reply as topic
Log in to reply
This topic has been deleted. Only users with topic management privileges can see it.
  • Mike HankeyM Offline
    Mike HankeyM Offline
    Mike Hankey
    wrote on last edited by
    #1

    Stuttering Cat - as explained by a grade 4 student .... A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. "Human beings are the only animals that stutter," she says. A little girl raises her hand. "I had a kitty-cat who stuttered." The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident. 'Well', she began, 'I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!' 'That must've been scary,' said the teacher. 'It sure was,' said the little girl. "My kitty raised her back, went "Ffffff!, Ffffff!, FfffffF." But before she could say 'F**k!' the Rottweiler ate her!"

    Sects Therapy

    S W W L N 5 Replies Last reply
    0
    • Mike HankeyM Mike Hankey

      Stuttering Cat - as explained by a grade 4 student .... A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. "Human beings are the only animals that stutter," she says. A little girl raises her hand. "I had a kitty-cat who stuttered." The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident. 'Well', she began, 'I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!' 'That must've been scary,' said the teacher. 'It sure was,' said the little girl. "My kitty raised her back, went "Ffffff!, Ffffff!, FfffffF." But before she could say 'F**k!' the Rottweiler ate her!"

      Sects Therapy

      S Offline
      S Offline
      Single Step Debugger
      wrote on last edited by
      #2

      Old but gold.

      There is only one Ashley Judd and Salma Hayek is her prophet! Advertise here – minimum three posts per day are guaranteed.

      1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • Mike HankeyM Mike Hankey

        Stuttering Cat - as explained by a grade 4 student .... A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. "Human beings are the only animals that stutter," she says. A little girl raises her hand. "I had a kitty-cat who stuttered." The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident. 'Well', she began, 'I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!' 'That must've been scary,' said the teacher. 'It sure was,' said the little girl. "My kitty raised her back, went "Ffffff!, Ffffff!, FfffffF." But before she could say 'F**k!' the Rottweiler ate her!"

        Sects Therapy

        W Offline
        W Offline
        wizardzz
        wrote on last edited by
        #3

        When I was a kid my cat clocked a German Shepherd that had ran up to him on our back porch. He was a Maine Coon, so he packed a decent punch and scared the shit out of the dog.

        "I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours. " — Hunter S. Thompson My comedy.

        Mike HankeyM 1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • W wizardzz

          When I was a kid my cat clocked a German Shepherd that had ran up to him on our back porch. He was a Maine Coon, so he packed a decent punch and scared the shit out of the dog.

          "I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours. " — Hunter S. Thompson My comedy.

          Mike HankeyM Offline
          Mike HankeyM Offline
          Mike Hankey
          wrote on last edited by
          #4

          Cat's can be pretty tuff, I've seen em hold their own against some pretty staggering odds. My son and his SO are living with me and she has a Maine Coon cat. Big baby!

          Sects Therapy

          W J 2 Replies Last reply
          0
          • Mike HankeyM Mike Hankey

            Cat's can be pretty tuff, I've seen em hold their own against some pretty staggering odds. My son and his SO are living with me and she has a Maine Coon cat. Big baby!

            Sects Therapy

            W Offline
            W Offline
            wizardzz
            wrote on last edited by
            #5

            That cat was very people friendly, once a guy rang our doorbell and said he chased a raccon out of his work van (across the street) and it went in our garage. It was our cat. Also, he liked laying in small spaces, though he was huge. My brother opened his hockey back in the locker room and our cat popped out. Everyone thought it was a raccoon and started swinging sticks at it. My brother came running into the lobby in his underoos holding the cat, which was fine, we took him home.

            "I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours. " — Hunter S. Thompson My comedy.

            Mike HankeyM 1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • W wizardzz

              That cat was very people friendly, once a guy rang our doorbell and said he chased a raccon out of his work van (across the street) and it went in our garage. It was our cat. Also, he liked laying in small spaces, though he was huge. My brother opened his hockey back in the locker room and our cat popped out. Everyone thought it was a raccoon and started swinging sticks at it. My brother came running into the lobby in his underoos holding the cat, which was fine, we took him home.

              "I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours. " — Hunter S. Thompson My comedy.

              Mike HankeyM Offline
              Mike HankeyM Offline
              Mike Hankey
              wrote on last edited by
              #6

              :laugh: Yeah they do the damnest things. Hers is moody? sometimes he will let me play/pet him and at other times he runs??

              Sects Therapy

              W 1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • Mike HankeyM Mike Hankey

                :laugh: Yeah they do the damnest things. Hers is moody? sometimes he will let me play/pet him and at other times he runs??

                Sects Therapy

                W Offline
                W Offline
                wizardzz
                wrote on last edited by
                #7

                Oh god yeah, don't even try to touch the tummy, he was sensitive about his beer gut. My girlfriend was afraid to go near him, he never did anything, just stared creepily.

                "I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours. " — Hunter S. Thompson My comedy.

                C 1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • W wizardzz

                  Oh god yeah, don't even try to touch the tummy, he was sensitive about his beer gut. My girlfriend was afraid to go near him, he never did anything, just stared creepily.

                  "I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours. " — Hunter S. Thompson My comedy.

                  C Offline
                  C Offline
                  Corporal Agarn
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #8

                  Cats are good at stares. I call it the evil eye.

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • Mike HankeyM Mike Hankey

                    Stuttering Cat - as explained by a grade 4 student .... A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. "Human beings are the only animals that stutter," she says. A little girl raises her hand. "I had a kitty-cat who stuttered." The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident. 'Well', she began, 'I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!' 'That must've been scary,' said the teacher. 'It sure was,' said the little girl. "My kitty raised her back, went "Ffffff!, Ffffff!, FfffffF." But before she could say 'F**k!' the Rottweiler ate her!"

                    Sects Therapy

                    W Offline
                    W Offline
                    walterhevedeich
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #9

                    :-D Teacher: That was Ffffff! Ffffff! Fffff!...... yeah you're right. Some cats do stutter.

                    Signature construction in progress. Sorry for the inconvenience.

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • Mike HankeyM Mike Hankey

                      Stuttering Cat - as explained by a grade 4 student .... A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. "Human beings are the only animals that stutter," she says. A little girl raises her hand. "I had a kitty-cat who stuttered." The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident. 'Well', she began, 'I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!' 'That must've been scary,' said the teacher. 'It sure was,' said the little girl. "My kitty raised her back, went "Ffffff!, Ffffff!, FfffffF." But before she could say 'F**k!' the Rottweiler ate her!"

                      Sects Therapy

                      L Offline
                      L Offline
                      Lost User
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #10

                      I knew a guy who used to stutter. He went in to a cafe and asked for 'e e e e egg and chips'. The owner said 'How many eggs was that?' :)

                      ============================== Nothing to say.

                      O 1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • Mike HankeyM Mike Hankey

                        Stuttering Cat - as explained by a grade 4 student .... A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. "Human beings are the only animals that stutter," she says. A little girl raises her hand. "I had a kitty-cat who stuttered." The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident. 'Well', she began, 'I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!' 'That must've been scary,' said the teacher. 'It sure was,' said the little girl. "My kitty raised her back, went "Ffffff!, Ffffff!, FfffffF." But before she could say 'F**k!' the Rottweiler ate her!"

                        Sects Therapy

                        N Offline
                        N Offline
                        Nagy Vilmos
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #11

                        An old acquaintance had a stutter, but the best part was that he could mostly control it. The only time he couldn't keep it down was when he became nervous or agitated, then his stutter got worse and worse. In those halcyon days, the game of choice was 'three card brag' and he never learnt to STFU when he was playing. "S-s-s-s-s-see you and r-r-r-r-r-raise you a p-p-p-p-pound!" he would call and the whole table would sit back and let the bidding war continue to see who was going to fleece him.


                        Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett

                        W L 2 Replies Last reply
                        0
                        • N Nagy Vilmos

                          An old acquaintance had a stutter, but the best part was that he could mostly control it. The only time he couldn't keep it down was when he became nervous or agitated, then his stutter got worse and worse. In those halcyon days, the game of choice was 'three card brag' and he never learnt to STFU when he was playing. "S-s-s-s-s-see you and r-r-r-r-r-raise you a p-p-p-p-pound!" he would call and the whole table would sit back and let the bidding war continue to see who was going to fleece him.


                          Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett

                          W Offline
                          W Offline
                          walterhevedeich
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #12

                          Nagy Vilmos wrote:

                          old acquaintance

                          That wasn't DD, was it?

                          Signature construction in progress. Sorry for the inconvenience.

                          N 1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • W walterhevedeich

                            Nagy Vilmos wrote:

                            old acquaintance

                            That wasn't DD, was it?

                            Signature construction in progress. Sorry for the inconvenience.

                            N Offline
                            N Offline
                            Nagy Vilmos
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #13

                            No, this was twenty years ago when I was a young buck with flowing locks and keen of eye. :^)


                            Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • Mike HankeyM Mike Hankey

                              Cat's can be pretty tuff, I've seen em hold their own against some pretty staggering odds. My son and his SO are living with me and she has a Maine Coon cat. Big baby!

                              Sects Therapy

                              J Offline
                              J Offline
                              Jorgen Andersson
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #14

                              A friend of mine had a neutered male cat that killed a fox once, it's usually the other way around. But it was a quite unexpected "present" he pulled in through the catflap.

                              List of common misconceptions

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • N Nagy Vilmos

                                An old acquaintance had a stutter, but the best part was that he could mostly control it. The only time he couldn't keep it down was when he became nervous or agitated, then his stutter got worse and worse. In those halcyon days, the game of choice was 'three card brag' and he never learnt to STFU when he was playing. "S-s-s-s-s-see you and r-r-r-r-r-raise you a p-p-p-p-pound!" he would call and the whole table would sit back and let the bidding war continue to see who was going to fleece him.


                                Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett

                                L Offline
                                L Offline
                                Lost User
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #15

                                I know a few with stutters, mostly learnt to control it now. One tells a story of when he was a kid at school (he is well into his 50s now) and didn't have much control, there was also a teacher at the school with quite a bad stutter for a man of his age, although he had never been taught by this teacher. Until one year, he has him for history, but due to illness misses the first few weeks of the year. First day in this bloke's class, the teacher is asking questions and eventually points to my mate and says "You b boy. Who w was the f f first k k king of...". When finishing the question my mate starts to answer "K k k k king...". At which point the teacher yells "Are y you t t t taking the p p piss b b b boy" and flies at him. He left his chair, round the desks and out the door with this teacher chasing him. He said he ran down the corridor looking for a teacher who knew him and would vouch for him before the teacher caught up with him.

                                Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends.

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • L Lost User

                                  I knew a guy who used to stutter. He went in to a cafe and asked for 'e e e e egg and chips'. The owner said 'How many eggs was that?' :)

                                  ============================== Nothing to say.

                                  O Offline
                                  O Offline
                                  Oakman
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #16

                                  Decided that since we recognized you, you'd stop being Eric_V and start being Fat-Eric, eh?

                                  “Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one." ~ Albert Einstein

                                  L 1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • O Oakman

                                    Decided that since we recognized you, you'd stop being Eric_V and start being Fat-Eric, eh?

                                    “Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one." ~ Albert Einstein

                                    L Offline
                                    L Offline
                                    Lost User
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #17

                                    Oakman wrote:

                                    Decided that since we recognized you, you'd stop being Eric_V and start being Fat-Eric, eh

                                    Dont know what you are talking about but it was first coined by Nagy, and I thought it amusing. :)

                                    ============================== Nothing to say.

                                    N 1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • L Lost User

                                      Oakman wrote:

                                      Decided that since we recognized you, you'd stop being Eric_V and start being Fat-Eric, eh

                                      Dont know what you are talking about but it was first coined by Nagy, and I thought it amusing. :)

                                      ============================== Nothing to say.

                                      N Offline
                                      N Offline
                                      Nagy Vilmos
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #18

                                      As they are wont to say in Parliament "The Member for Cheese Eating Surrender Monkeys is talking out of his @rse"


                                      Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett

                                      L 1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • N Nagy Vilmos

                                        As they are wont to say in Parliament "The Member for Cheese Eating Surrender Monkeys is talking out of his @rse"


                                        Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett

                                        L Offline
                                        L Offline
                                        Lost User
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #19

                                        Take this then, a big odourous shit in your direction. :)

                                        ============================== Nothing to say.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        Reply
                                        • Reply as topic
                                        Log in to reply
                                        • Oldest to Newest
                                        • Newest to Oldest
                                        • Most Votes


                                        • Login

                                        • Don't have an account? Register

                                        • Login or register to search.
                                        • First post
                                          Last post
                                        0
                                        • Categories
                                        • Recent
                                        • Tags
                                        • Popular
                                        • World
                                        • Users
                                        • Groups