Coming out of the closet
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Congratulations. I never did figure out the proper way to respond to a revelation like that... Granted, I live in a very liberal area, so it's really a non-issue here.
Proud to have finally moved to the A-Ark. Which one are you in?
Author of the Guardians Saga (Sci-Fi/Fantasy novels)Ian Shlasko wrote:
I live in a very liberal area
I don't...
Ian Shlasko wrote:
I never did figure out the proper way to respond to a revelation like that...
We have pamphlets down here in Texas. I can send you one (although if you're a liberal, it may offend you).
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997 -
I'm gay. Not a hugely interesting revelation, I freely confess, so I shan't go on about it.
After reading all of the congratulatory rhetoric, I'm going to step up and be the person everyone expects me to be. Why do you people feel the need to announce your abhorrent proclivities on a programming forum? After all, we straight folks don't announce it or throw it in anyone else's faces. If you think you're gay, hey - that's okay with me, but I don't think it's necessary to tell me about it (you should have posted this in the soapbox where I rarely go if you didn't want my opinion on the matter). I think it's a freakish lifestyle, and I really don't want to hear about it. I'm sure this isn't what you want to hear (and I'll probably get 1-bombed for being honest), but "damn the torpedoes...", and all that.
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997 -
Fat__Eric wrote:
ahmed zahmed wrote:
Why should his being gay matter?
It does.
ahmed zahmed wrote:
To anyone
To the person concerned.
ahmed zahmed wrote:
It's a private matter that is his business. He should be treated any differently
than anyone else.I agree, thats why he is coming out, so he can be treated fairly by himself.
I can't speak for anyone else except me and my "circle of friends" on this topic. "why does it matter", as he's still the Ravel we know. It's not like he turned into a incrediable hulk or said he was concervative right winger. we look at him for "him". For Ravel though it's a big deal as he can be open about it and feel like he doesn't need to "hide". and don't say hetros aren't open about theirs as I've seen "tail" waggings. and people do try to hide "themselves" as lets face it, the human race is a bunch idiots and chastise anything and everything that's different, so can make things hard. I congratulate Ravel in his openness and able to take his "breath" but also letting him know, he's still a good bud to chat with and I think him non the different.
///////////////// -I’m a DHCP server at a local restaurant. This chick came up and asked me for my address, and I told her she was out of my scope -Why do Java Programmers wear glasses? Because they don’t C#
Thanks for making my point.
If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader." - John Quincy Adams
You must accept one of two basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe, or we are not alone in the universe. And either way, the implications are staggering” - Wernher von Braun -
Thanks for making my point.
If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader." - John Quincy Adams
You must accept one of two basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe, or we are not alone in the universe. And either way, the implications are staggering” - Wernher von Braunwell, it's not that you were "against" him. you weren't nor were you a bad man for it. You were just treating him the same guy as he ever was (least in my view). and like I said, some people aren't as open minded and would take issue or worse which is said thing. I however also support him, in his "coming out" and "moving along", as for some, it's a hard task. as for the topic itself, it's valid for the lounge just as much as JSOP's talk about guns and arsenal (and yes John, your arsenal does look big in those pants). ( pass around the coffee)... now if he said he was a PHP programmer, I'd bug him alot.
///////////////// -I’m a DHCP server at a local restaurant. This chick came up and asked me for my address, and I told her she was out of my scope -Why do Java Programmers wear glasses? Because they don’t C#
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Bi - No probs Dim - we all are from time to time. Offensive - Regularly, like me. Wrong - Wait a moment...
Fat__Eric wrote:
I am actually English, though I prefer the French
See, Wrong! And it is also a choice. :)
------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]
Dalek Dave wrote:
Fat__Eric wrote:
I am actually English, though I prefer the French
See, Wrong!
And it is also a choice. :)He could have came out like this[^]
///////////////// -I’m a DHCP server at a local restaurant. This chick came up and asked me for my address, and I told her she was out of my scope -Why do Java Programmers wear glasses? Because they don’t C#
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I'm gay. Not a hugely interesting revelation, I freely confess, so I shan't go on about it.
Who cares? :rolleyes:
Simply Elegant Designs JimmyRopes Designs
Think inside the box! ProActive Secure Systems
I'm on-line therefore I am. JimmyRopes -
Ravel H. Joyce wrote:
I'm an atheist
But you share a middle initial with Jesus.
Ravel H. Joyce wrote:
Well, that remains to be seen
So we'll have to wait for the future to unravel?
Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends.
ChrisElston wrote:
Ravel H. Joyce wrote:
I'm an atheist
But you share a middle initial with Jesus.
My name (first and last) means "Christ-bearer Jewish", how's that for a name not fitting an atheist? (Not to mention somewhat of a contradiction...and if you include my middle name it just becomes nonsense...)
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I'm gay. Not a hugely interesting revelation, I freely confess, so I shan't go on about it.
I'm pretty happy, too.
MVVM# - See how I did MVVM my way ___________________________________________ Man, you're a god. - walterhevedeich 26/05/2011 .\\axxx (That's an 'M')
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After reading all of the congratulatory rhetoric, I'm going to step up and be the person everyone expects me to be. Why do you people feel the need to announce your abhorrent proclivities on a programming forum? After all, we straight folks don't announce it or throw it in anyone else's faces. If you think you're gay, hey - that's okay with me, but I don't think it's necessary to tell me about it (you should have posted this in the soapbox where I rarely go if you didn't want my opinion on the matter). I think it's a freakish lifestyle, and I really don't want to hear about it. I'm sure this isn't what you want to hear (and I'll probably get 1-bombed for being honest), but "damn the torpedoes...", and all that.
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
-----
You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
-----
"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote:
Why do you people feel the need to announce your abhorrent proclivities on a programming forum?
You mean like every post in the lounge, SB or BR? :) Oh come on, you are the first to post about guns on this, a programming forum, yet when another member choses to post about his life you object. Those are double standards you have there.
John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote:
After all, we straight folks don't announce it or throw it in anyone else's faces.
In fact we all exhibit our sexual tastes through what we post, from DDs post about a male driver fondling the breasts of his female companion to other inoffensive comments. (And note Ravel is not posting pictures of nice looking guys with associated comments. If he did that you would really take ofrfense, yet hetros do this frequently here) It is the fact that it is often not socially acceptable to be gay that gives rise to the need for gays to make proclamations such as this. I wish they didnt have to, I wish society didnt put such pressure on them that they felt the need to do so. And by calling it a freakish lifestyle you are prolonging that necessity. :) (And it isnt freakish at all, it has been common throughout human history for millenia)
============================== Nothing to say.
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After reading all of the congratulatory rhetoric, I'm going to step up and be the person everyone expects me to be. Why do you people feel the need to announce your abhorrent proclivities on a programming forum? After all, we straight folks don't announce it or throw it in anyone else's faces. If you think you're gay, hey - that's okay with me, but I don't think it's necessary to tell me about it (you should have posted this in the soapbox where I rarely go if you didn't want my opinion on the matter). I think it's a freakish lifestyle, and I really don't want to hear about it. I'm sure this isn't what you want to hear (and I'll probably get 1-bombed for being honest), but "damn the torpedoes...", and all that.
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
-----
You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
-----
"Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997That's the same kind of attitude as, "I don't care if somebody's black, as long as they don't live in my neighbourhood, swim in my pool, send their kids to the same school, or dare to exist within my field of vision". You're obviously not OK with homosexuals in any capacity, so at least have the guts to admit it. You won't look a saint simply by vilifying me. And what 'lifestyle' are you referring to? I told you precisely nothing about how I live by that post, and my 'lifestyle' exists solely within your own simpleton prejudices and imagination. Your phraseology suggests that you subscribe to the belief that homosexuality is a choice. It doesn't surprise me, certainly - it's easier to hate somebody for their choices rather than for something intrinsic. It is, however, completely unsupported by, you know, reality, so you're currently on the same moral level as misogynists and racists. 'You straight folk' may not feel the need to tell anybody, which for the sake of argument I will assume despite it being untrue, but that's just because you've so carefully engineered what is 'normal' and what is 'abnormal' that you never have to. I find it unusual and telling that you think I'm "throwing it in your face". Are you a delicate dew-covered flower, or are you simply determined to feel persecuted? Why do you insist that I was directing it at you, anyway? I could level the exact same criticisms towards your obsession with weapons, but instead I just avoid reading those tedious messages, and I certainly don't tell you to not post them. See, I'm not one of those hypocrites that support freedom of speech only as long as it parallels my personal views.
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I don't think it matters to anyone but him, but why should it matter less than the fact that Michael Martin had egg sandwiches for dinner? Edit: I didn't downvote either of your posts.
modified on Monday, September 12, 2011 11:17 AM
RC_Sebastien_C wrote:
...but why should it matter less than the fact that Michael Martin had egg sandwiches for dinner?
Cause they were fucking sausage, bacon, egg and cheese sandwiches damnit!
Michael Martin Australia "I controlled my laughter and simple said "No,I am very busy,so I can't write any code for you". The moment they heard this all the smiling face turned into a sad looking face and one of them farted. So I had to leave the place as soon as possible." - Mr.Prakash One Fine Saturday. 24/04/2004
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Political, have you tried telling your mother? Diplomacy is required. Although when my friend Biggles came out, he stood in the pub and said "I just need to clear the air and let you all know that I am gay". We all stood, shocked. Shocked that he felt he had to tell us, we all knew.
------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]
Dalek Dave wrote:
Although when my friend Biggles came out, he stood in the pub and said "I just need to clear the air and let you all know that I am gay".
We all stood, shocked.
Shocked that he felt he had to tell us, we all knew.Is he the only gay in the village?
Michael Martin Australia "I controlled my laughter and simple said "No,I am very busy,so I can't write any code for you". The moment they heard this all the smiling face turned into a sad looking face and one of them farted. So I had to leave the place as soon as possible." - Mr.Prakash One Fine Saturday. 24/04/2004
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John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote:
Why do you people feel the need to announce your abhorrent proclivities on a programming forum?
You mean like every post in the lounge, SB or BR? :) Oh come on, you are the first to post about guns on this, a programming forum, yet when another member choses to post about his life you object. Those are double standards you have there.
John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote:
After all, we straight folks don't announce it or throw it in anyone else's faces.
In fact we all exhibit our sexual tastes through what we post, from DDs post about a male driver fondling the breasts of his female companion to other inoffensive comments. (And note Ravel is not posting pictures of nice looking guys with associated comments. If he did that you would really take ofrfense, yet hetros do this frequently here) It is the fact that it is often not socially acceptable to be gay that gives rise to the need for gays to make proclamations such as this. I wish they didnt have to, I wish society didnt put such pressure on them that they felt the need to do so. And by calling it a freakish lifestyle you are prolonging that necessity. :) (And it isnt freakish at all, it has been common throughout human history for millenia)
============================== Nothing to say.
The difference here is that DD and others who post "hetero" stuff are just acting "hetero", they didn't proclaim "Hey, I'm a hormone riddle male chauvinist, or some such". If Ravel were to post similar postings, but gay-oriented, then that would be comparable. But that's not what he did. He said, "Hey, look at me! Boo! Accept me! And if you don't you're a jerk!"
If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader." - John Quincy Adams
You must accept one of two basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe, or we are not alone in the universe. And either way, the implications are staggering” - Wernher von Braun -
That's the same kind of attitude as, "I don't care if somebody's black, as long as they don't live in my neighbourhood, swim in my pool, send their kids to the same school, or dare to exist within my field of vision". You're obviously not OK with homosexuals in any capacity, so at least have the guts to admit it. You won't look a saint simply by vilifying me. And what 'lifestyle' are you referring to? I told you precisely nothing about how I live by that post, and my 'lifestyle' exists solely within your own simpleton prejudices and imagination. Your phraseology suggests that you subscribe to the belief that homosexuality is a choice. It doesn't surprise me, certainly - it's easier to hate somebody for their choices rather than for something intrinsic. It is, however, completely unsupported by, you know, reality, so you're currently on the same moral level as misogynists and racists. 'You straight folk' may not feel the need to tell anybody, which for the sake of argument I will assume despite it being untrue, but that's just because you've so carefully engineered what is 'normal' and what is 'abnormal' that you never have to. I find it unusual and telling that you think I'm "throwing it in your face". Are you a delicate dew-covered flower, or are you simply determined to feel persecuted? Why do you insist that I was directing it at you, anyway? I could level the exact same criticisms towards your obsession with weapons, but instead I just avoid reading those tedious messages, and I certainly don't tell you to not post them. See, I'm not one of those hypocrites that support freedom of speech only as long as it parallels my personal views.
Ravel, I, for one, already new you were gay from other postings you've made where it was clear where you stand. You didn't need to "announce" it. By drawing attention to yourself, you're trying to force everyone to accept you and daring anyone to object. People, (and I'm sure even you), object to being forced to do anything. It's in our nature and goes against the natural gift of free will. That's what most people object to, not to your being gay (disregarding those who think it a "sin"). Note that's what John objected to, your "announcement", not your being gay. As for whether or not being gay is a choice or not, I think there's a difference between "being" gay and "acting" gay. For example, there are many people who steal, but not all those who steal are kleptomaniacs[^]. In the same sort of way, while I believe there are some people, perhaps even you, who are biologically "gay", there are others, perhaps many more, who are shall we say "socially" gay. For the latter, it's more of a choice, but they may not feel so because of their circumstances or experiences. Either way, while people may not be able to choose how the "are", people do choose how they act. I know this for a fact because I have friends in my religion who are "gay", but do not act on their impulses because of their beliefs. While it is difficult for them, they take it as a challenge and as an opportunity to become better, stronger, more vibrant people. They see their situation as a gift.
If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader." - John Quincy Adams
You must accept one of two basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe, or we are not alone in the universe. And either way, the implications are staggering” - Wernher von Braun -
The difference here is that DD and others who post "hetero" stuff are just acting "hetero", they didn't proclaim "Hey, I'm a hormone riddle male chauvinist, or some such". If Ravel were to post similar postings, but gay-oriented, then that would be comparable. But that's not what he did. He said, "Hey, look at me! Boo! Accept me! And if you don't you're a jerk!"
If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader." - John Quincy Adams
You must accept one of two basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe, or we are not alone in the universe. And either way, the implications are staggering” - Wernher von Braunahmed zahmed wrote:
He said, "Hey, look at me! Boo! Accept me! And if you don't you're a jerk!"
Funny, I don't remember saying that. Although I remember you saying that I said that, many times.
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ahmed zahmed wrote:
He said, "Hey, look at me! Boo! Accept me! And if you don't you're a jerk!"
Funny, I don't remember saying that. Although I remember you saying that I said that, many times.
Ravel H. Joyce wrote:
Funny, I don't remember saying that
Really? You said it here[^] and here[^] and here[^] among other places.
If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader." - John Quincy Adams
You must accept one of two basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe, or we are not alone in the universe. And either way, the implications are staggering” - Wernher von Braun -
Ravel, I, for one, already new you were gay from other postings you've made where it was clear where you stand. You didn't need to "announce" it. By drawing attention to yourself, you're trying to force everyone to accept you and daring anyone to object. People, (and I'm sure even you), object to being forced to do anything. It's in our nature and goes against the natural gift of free will. That's what most people object to, not to your being gay (disregarding those who think it a "sin"). Note that's what John objected to, your "announcement", not your being gay. As for whether or not being gay is a choice or not, I think there's a difference between "being" gay and "acting" gay. For example, there are many people who steal, but not all those who steal are kleptomaniacs[^]. In the same sort of way, while I believe there are some people, perhaps even you, who are biologically "gay", there are others, perhaps many more, who are shall we say "socially" gay. For the latter, it's more of a choice, but they may not feel so because of their circumstances or experiences. Either way, while people may not be able to choose how the "are", people do choose how they act. I know this for a fact because I have friends in my religion who are "gay", but do not act on their impulses because of their beliefs. While it is difficult for them, they take it as a challenge and as an opportunity to become better, stronger, more vibrant people. They see their situation as a gift.
If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader." - John Quincy Adams
You must accept one of two basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe, or we are not alone in the universe. And either way, the implications are staggering” - Wernher von Braunahmed zahmed wrote:
You didn't need to "announce" it.
But you don't know the reason that I said it.
ahmed zahmed wrote:
Note that's what John objected to, your "announcement", not your being gay.
He used the words 'abhorrent' and 'freakish', and I don't think they were directed towards the fact of my posting. You may think I was being belligerent, but John Simmons was positively clamouring to offend me. He didn't succeed, though, in spite of my possible overreaction.
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Ravel H. Joyce wrote:
Funny, I don't remember saying that
Really? You said it here[^] and here[^] and here[^] among other places.
If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader." - John Quincy Adams
You must accept one of two basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe, or we are not alone in the universe. And either way, the implications are staggering” - Wernher von BraunOK, the first link has nothing to do with acceptance, but a justification for why being openly gay might serve a purpose outside of simply enjoying being flamboyant. The second link was a reaction to John Simmons' inflammatory comments. You should appreciate that he started it. And the third link ... I can't even understand how that's relevant.
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ahmed zahmed wrote:
You didn't need to "announce" it.
But you don't know the reason that I said it.
ahmed zahmed wrote:
Note that's what John objected to, your "announcement", not your being gay.
He used the words 'abhorrent' and 'freakish', and I don't think they were directed towards the fact of my posting. You may think I was being belligerent, but John Simmons was positively clamouring to offend me. He didn't succeed, though, in spite of my possible overreaction.
Ravel H. Joyce wrote:
don't know the reason
No, not entirely, but I remain sure that part of the reason was your need to feel accepted.
Ravel H. Joyce wrote:
You may think I was being belligerent
I don't know what I said to give you that impression, but I don't think you were being belligerent at all. Forceful? Yes. Belligerent? No. Just know Ravel, that I do accept you (as far as I can anyway, after all you're just some anonymous person on the web). I accepted you before your "announcement" and feel no differently now. If I were to meet you in person, I would hope we could be friends.
Ravel H. Joyce wrote:
He used the words 'abhorrent' and 'freakish
Yes he did. But, if I remember correctly, it was the lifestyle he was addressing, not you personally. But, I understand it's hard not to take it personally. But, then again, maybe he meant it personally. I don't really know. I just prefer not to think so negatively.
Ravel H. Joyce wrote:
positively clamouring to offend me. He didn't succeed
Perhaps he was. Being offended is a choice. I'm glad you're mature enough not to take offense. More mature than I'd likely have been if I were in your shoes.
If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader." - John Quincy Adams
You must accept one of two basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe, or we are not alone in the universe. And either way, the implications are staggering” - Wernher von Braun -
OK, the first link has nothing to do with acceptance, but a justification for why being openly gay might serve a purpose outside of simply enjoying being flamboyant. The second link was a reaction to John Simmons' inflammatory comments. You should appreciate that he started it. And the third link ... I can't even understand how that's relevant.
It's all part of a pattern. In any case, I don't wish to belabor the point, issue, whatever you want to call it. If it wasn't a cry for acceptance what was it?
If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader." - John Quincy Adams
You must accept one of two basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe, or we are not alone in the universe. And either way, the implications are staggering” - Wernher von Braun
