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Engagement Rings [modified]

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  • W wizardzz

    So, yes, it's time to pick one out. Is the old standard of 2 months salary still used? If so, fuck, I'm just finishing up my student loan payments. Anyways, who should I shop with? I have 0 female friends, my girlfriend is my best friend. I have a female cousin that just got married, and is in my salary bracket, so she could help. I don't want to involve the girlfriend's family as they can't keep anything secret. Open to any advice. [Tons of great advice! I should point out that she doesn't know, at all, what I intend to do.]

    "I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours. " — Hunter S. Thompson My comedy.

    L Offline
    L Offline
    Lost User
    wrote on last edited by
    #25

    The whole salary standard for how much to spend was a brilliand marketing ploy by De Beers. In fact, the whole diamond engagement ring wasn't nearly so popular until De Beers made it so in the 1930's. You can read about it on Wikipedia or watch some of the documentaries on diamonds. Now that I've got you all cynical about the whole thing you can think about what'll make the Mrs. happy. Find out what kind of setting she likes. White gold, yellow gold etc. The setting can make a small diamond or group of diamonds look big, flashy or intricate and sylish. You probably already know if she's the kind of person who cares more about the quality of the diamond or more about the thought that's going into it and who it's coming from. That should help you decide if you should get her a bigger one that has some imperfections for the same price as a smaller one that's of higher quality. Unltimately the value of the ring isn't a big factor, unless someone's planning on selling it, which isn't a good sign to begin with. Cheers, Drew.

    W 1 Reply Last reply
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    • L Lost User

      The whole salary standard for how much to spend was a brilliand marketing ploy by De Beers. In fact, the whole diamond engagement ring wasn't nearly so popular until De Beers made it so in the 1930's. You can read about it on Wikipedia or watch some of the documentaries on diamonds. Now that I've got you all cynical about the whole thing you can think about what'll make the Mrs. happy. Find out what kind of setting she likes. White gold, yellow gold etc. The setting can make a small diamond or group of diamonds look big, flashy or intricate and sylish. You probably already know if she's the kind of person who cares more about the quality of the diamond or more about the thought that's going into it and who it's coming from. That should help you decide if you should get her a bigger one that has some imperfections for the same price as a smaller one that's of higher quality. Unltimately the value of the ring isn't a big factor, unless someone's planning on selling it, which isn't a good sign to begin with. Cheers, Drew.

      W Offline
      W Offline
      wizardzz
      wrote on last edited by
      #26

      Honestly, I'd rather the money of the ring go to the gold than the diamond. I know she prefers white gold. She is socially conscious so she wouldn't want to support the blood diamond biz. I guess she feels vintage pieces contribute less to it? I might talk to my mother about using my grandmother's ring.

      "I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours. " — Hunter S. Thompson My comedy.

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      • D David Crow

        wizardzz wrote:

        Is the old standard of 2 months salary still used?

        Those that use such a standard should be shot. Those that thought it up should be shot...twice.

        wizardzz wrote:

        I have a female cousin that just got married, and is in my salary bracket...

        That sounds sort of strange.

        "One man's wage rise is another man's price increase." - Harold Wilson

        "Fireproof doesn't mean the fire will never come. It means when the fire comes that you will be able to withstand it." - Michael Simmons

        "Some people are making such thorough preparation for rainy days that they aren't enjoying today's sunshine." - William Feather

        W Offline
        W Offline
        wizardzz
        wrote on last edited by
        #27

        Meaning I wouldn't feel weird talking budget, but yes, that is very odd sounding, you ass!

        "I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours. " — Hunter S. Thompson My comedy.

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        • W wizardzz

          So, yes, it's time to pick one out. Is the old standard of 2 months salary still used? If so, fuck, I'm just finishing up my student loan payments. Anyways, who should I shop with? I have 0 female friends, my girlfriend is my best friend. I have a female cousin that just got married, and is in my salary bracket, so she could help. I don't want to involve the girlfriend's family as they can't keep anything secret. Open to any advice. [Tons of great advice! I should point out that she doesn't know, at all, what I intend to do.]

          "I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours. " — Hunter S. Thompson My comedy.

          R Offline
          R Offline
          realJSOP
          wrote on last edited by
          #28

          My wife and I were married for five years before getting rings.

          ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
          -----
          You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
          -----
          "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

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          • W wizardzz

            So, yes, it's time to pick one out. Is the old standard of 2 months salary still used? If so, fuck, I'm just finishing up my student loan payments. Anyways, who should I shop with? I have 0 female friends, my girlfriend is my best friend. I have a female cousin that just got married, and is in my salary bracket, so she could help. I don't want to involve the girlfriend's family as they can't keep anything secret. Open to any advice. [Tons of great advice! I should point out that she doesn't know, at all, what I intend to do.]

            "I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours. " — Hunter S. Thompson My comedy.

            S Offline
            S Offline
            S Houghtelin
            wrote on last edited by
            #29

            What I did with my girlfriend was to arrange for one of her friends to invite my girlfriend to go shopping at one of the local malls and “happen” to stop into a jewelry store to look at rings and so forth. Her friend was more than willing to help me out. She thought it was ‘romantic”. Her friend reported back to me the rings my girlfriend liked, even the ring size (which I never thought of). And my girlfriend never suspected, she’s now my wife of 18 years. However you choose, good luck!:rose:

            It was broke, so I fixed it.

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            • W wizardzz

              Honestly, I'd rather the money of the ring go to the gold than the diamond. I know she prefers white gold. She is socially conscious so she wouldn't want to support the blood diamond biz. I guess she feels vintage pieces contribute less to it? I might talk to my mother about using my grandmother's ring.

              "I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours. " — Hunter S. Thompson My comedy.

              L Offline
              L Offline
              Lost User
              wrote on last edited by
              #30

              wizardzz wrote:

              I might talk to my mother about using my grandmother's ring.

              Or take Grandma's ring and have it modified to something she will really like. Cheers, Drew.

              W 1 Reply Last reply
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              • L Lost User

                wizardzz wrote:

                I might talk to my mother about using my grandmother's ring.

                Or take Grandma's ring and have it modified to something she will really like. Cheers, Drew.

                W Offline
                W Offline
                wizardzz
                wrote on last edited by
                #31

                That's also a possibility. I know she likes vintagey midcentury/mod styles. I bought her a painted white gold Hidalgo ring some time ago and she wears it daily, no stones, very mod look to it. I can't find a picture of it online though.

                "I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours. " — Hunter S. Thompson My comedy.

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • W wizardzz

                  So, yes, it's time to pick one out. Is the old standard of 2 months salary still used? If so, fuck, I'm just finishing up my student loan payments. Anyways, who should I shop with? I have 0 female friends, my girlfriend is my best friend. I have a female cousin that just got married, and is in my salary bracket, so she could help. I don't want to involve the girlfriend's family as they can't keep anything secret. Open to any advice. [Tons of great advice! I should point out that she doesn't know, at all, what I intend to do.]

                  "I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours. " — Hunter S. Thompson My comedy.

                  T Offline
                  T Offline
                  Tim Carmichael
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #32

                  What is more important to both of you? An expensive ring or a symbol of commitment? I gave my wife a simple ring with a green gem stone - I don't even know what kind of stone it is! But, she liked it and we got married; last month was seven years. I bought her another ring last year (just something we both liked) and she put it on where the engagement ring normally sits; the engagement ring was moved to her right hand. She's happy; I'm happy. What more could we want? Tim

                  1 Reply Last reply
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                  • W wizardzz

                    So, yes, it's time to pick one out. Is the old standard of 2 months salary still used? If so, fuck, I'm just finishing up my student loan payments. Anyways, who should I shop with? I have 0 female friends, my girlfriend is my best friend. I have a female cousin that just got married, and is in my salary bracket, so she could help. I don't want to involve the girlfriend's family as they can't keep anything secret. Open to any advice. [Tons of great advice! I should point out that she doesn't know, at all, what I intend to do.]

                    "I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours. " — Hunter S. Thompson My comedy.

                    D Offline
                    D Offline
                    djdanlib 0
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #33

                    It doesn't matter how much of your salary you're spending on the ring. It really doesn't. If you get it on a really good sale and it costs a lot less, great! It's none of her business to know how much a gift cost, when you're (hopefully) not combining your financial powers yet - a man can have his mysteries, too. You're not buying it for her friends or family, who are usually the ones who form opinions about you based on wild speculation around the price tag. Your girl's opinion is the most important! :) Get something of good quality, whatever you get. I agree with the other poster who mentioned the gem qualities to look at. Read up on diamonds so you have an idea about these things, then go to a few higher-end stores to learn more about the stones and bands before you commit to buying anything. Go in, and say right up front that you're doing some research and won't be making a purchase today. They will usually tell you about upcoming sales, too, so that's a nice benefit. Remember that the salespeople are like car salespeople. They make a commission, so they're really going to push hard to close the sale or try to convince you to come back. You can work that to your advantage. Find out about their warranties, because they'll be a lot happier and more likely to let you know about deals if they can give you literature and talk at you for a minute or two. Just don't commit to getting anything just yet and remember that nothing but your signature obligates you to come back. You mentioned gems that give you a clear conscience elsewhere in the thread. I might suggest finding out if she would be happy with artificially created gems in that case, or doing a whole lot of research on the origins of the stones you're getting. Stores are more conscious that people want to know these things. If they can't tell you, don't buy from them. There are plenty of other stores that CAN tell you. They have made humongous strides in lab-created diamonds, as opposed to cubic zirconium which isn't quite the same.

                    W 1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • W wizardzz

                      So, yes, it's time to pick one out. Is the old standard of 2 months salary still used? If so, fuck, I'm just finishing up my student loan payments. Anyways, who should I shop with? I have 0 female friends, my girlfriend is my best friend. I have a female cousin that just got married, and is in my salary bracket, so she could help. I don't want to involve the girlfriend's family as they can't keep anything secret. Open to any advice. [Tons of great advice! I should point out that she doesn't know, at all, what I intend to do.]

                      "I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours. " — Hunter S. Thompson My comedy.

                      T Offline
                      T Offline
                      thrakazog
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #34

                      The best advice I've had on the topic is that you should spend no more on a ring than you are comfortable throwing out the window of your car going down the highway.

                      1 Reply Last reply
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                      • D djdanlib 0

                        It doesn't matter how much of your salary you're spending on the ring. It really doesn't. If you get it on a really good sale and it costs a lot less, great! It's none of her business to know how much a gift cost, when you're (hopefully) not combining your financial powers yet - a man can have his mysteries, too. You're not buying it for her friends or family, who are usually the ones who form opinions about you based on wild speculation around the price tag. Your girl's opinion is the most important! :) Get something of good quality, whatever you get. I agree with the other poster who mentioned the gem qualities to look at. Read up on diamonds so you have an idea about these things, then go to a few higher-end stores to learn more about the stones and bands before you commit to buying anything. Go in, and say right up front that you're doing some research and won't be making a purchase today. They will usually tell you about upcoming sales, too, so that's a nice benefit. Remember that the salespeople are like car salespeople. They make a commission, so they're really going to push hard to close the sale or try to convince you to come back. You can work that to your advantage. Find out about their warranties, because they'll be a lot happier and more likely to let you know about deals if they can give you literature and talk at you for a minute or two. Just don't commit to getting anything just yet and remember that nothing but your signature obligates you to come back. You mentioned gems that give you a clear conscience elsewhere in the thread. I might suggest finding out if she would be happy with artificially created gems in that case, or doing a whole lot of research on the origins of the stones you're getting. Stores are more conscious that people want to know these things. If they can't tell you, don't buy from them. There are plenty of other stores that CAN tell you. They have made humongous strides in lab-created diamonds, as opposed to cubic zirconium which isn't quite the same.

                        W Offline
                        W Offline
                        wizardzz
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #35

                        Great advice, thanks!

                        "I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours. " — Hunter S. Thompson My comedy.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • W wizardzz

                          So, yes, it's time to pick one out. Is the old standard of 2 months salary still used? If so, fuck, I'm just finishing up my student loan payments. Anyways, who should I shop with? I have 0 female friends, my girlfriend is my best friend. I have a female cousin that just got married, and is in my salary bracket, so she could help. I don't want to involve the girlfriend's family as they can't keep anything secret. Open to any advice. [Tons of great advice! I should point out that she doesn't know, at all, what I intend to do.]

                          "I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours. " — Hunter S. Thompson My comedy.

                          L Offline
                          L Offline
                          Lost User
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #36

                          I've been told you get a better result for less cost if you buy the diamond from a wholesaler and take it to a jewler to be set in a ring There is only one place in the world to buy diamonds - Amsterdam. Take a friend and call it bucks party research

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                          • W wizardzz

                            So, yes, it's time to pick one out. Is the old standard of 2 months salary still used? If so, fuck, I'm just finishing up my student loan payments. Anyways, who should I shop with? I have 0 female friends, my girlfriend is my best friend. I have a female cousin that just got married, and is in my salary bracket, so she could help. I don't want to involve the girlfriend's family as they can't keep anything secret. Open to any advice. [Tons of great advice! I should point out that she doesn't know, at all, what I intend to do.]

                            "I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours. " — Hunter S. Thompson My comedy.

                            C Offline
                            C Offline
                            CalvinHobbies
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #37

                            I'd take the girlfriend. If you haven't proposed as of yet to her, tease her by walking through a few stores. Keep note of what she picks than choose the nicest of the group. also helps for getting ring size. I took this route with my wife when I proposed to her in china. I also made sure to hit every techie shop along the way while I was there to not arouse suspicion (came close to spending the money on a cell than a ring). Course I had to take her mom with me later on to buy the ring (language barrier and easier for her to haggle the price down then a "foreigner").

                            ///////////////// -I’m a DHCP server at a local restaurant. This chick came up and asked me for my address, and I told her she was out of my scope -Why do Java Programmers wear glasses? Because they don’t C#

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                            • W wizardzz

                              So, yes, it's time to pick one out. Is the old standard of 2 months salary still used? If so, fuck, I'm just finishing up my student loan payments. Anyways, who should I shop with? I have 0 female friends, my girlfriend is my best friend. I have a female cousin that just got married, and is in my salary bracket, so she could help. I don't want to involve the girlfriend's family as they can't keep anything secret. Open to any advice. [Tons of great advice! I should point out that she doesn't know, at all, what I intend to do.]

                              "I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours. " — Hunter S. Thompson My comedy.

                              P Offline
                              P Offline
                              PIEBALDconsult
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #38

                              wizardzz wrote:

                              2 months salary

                              That's complete and utter BS. I think the ring I bought my wife was about $300 (twenty years ago); perhaps a week's salary at the time. It's a simple solitaire. And for the wedding ring we bought a wrap ring to go with it.

                              1 Reply Last reply
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                              • W wizardzz

                                So, yes, it's time to pick one out. Is the old standard of 2 months salary still used? If so, fuck, I'm just finishing up my student loan payments. Anyways, who should I shop with? I have 0 female friends, my girlfriend is my best friend. I have a female cousin that just got married, and is in my salary bracket, so she could help. I don't want to involve the girlfriend's family as they can't keep anything secret. Open to any advice. [Tons of great advice! I should point out that she doesn't know, at all, what I intend to do.]

                                "I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours. " — Hunter S. Thompson My comedy.

                                B Offline
                                B Offline
                                bryce
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #39

                                2 months - bollocks to that if you have a mortgage B

                                MCAD --- To paraphrase Fred Dagg - the views expressed in this post are bloody good ones. --
                                Our kids books :The Snot Goblin, and Book 2 - the Snotgoblin and Fluff The Snotgoblin for the Ipad

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                                • W wizardzz

                                  So, yes, it's time to pick one out. Is the old standard of 2 months salary still used? If so, fuck, I'm just finishing up my student loan payments. Anyways, who should I shop with? I have 0 female friends, my girlfriend is my best friend. I have a female cousin that just got married, and is in my salary bracket, so she could help. I don't want to involve the girlfriend's family as they can't keep anything secret. Open to any advice. [Tons of great advice! I should point out that she doesn't know, at all, what I intend to do.]

                                  "I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours. " — Hunter S. Thompson My comedy.

                                  R Offline
                                  R Offline
                                  RyanEK
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #40

                                  You're getting married? I can recommend a ring... suffering

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