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Headlines in 2033...

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved The Back Room
csharpcomannouncement
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  • L Lost User

    Headlines 30 years from now (2033): Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, California. White minorities still trying to have English recognized as the California's third language. Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops & livestock. Baby conceived naturally.... Scientists stumped. Authentic year 2000 "chad" sells at Sotheby's for $4.6 million. Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria, and Lebanon.) Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels. Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking. George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036. Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesday only. 35 year study: diet and exercise are the key to weight loss. Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative. Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights. Upcoming NFL draft likely to focus on use of mutants. Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches. Microsoft announces it has perfected its newest version of Windows so it crashes BEFORE installation is completed. New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters, and rolled up newspapers must be registered by January 2036. Congress authorizes direct deposit of illegal political contributions to campaign accounts. Capitol Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with congressman. IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75% Steven J. Ackerman, Consultant ACS, Sarasota, FL http://www.acscontrol.com steve@acscontrol.com sja@gte.net

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    Roger Wright
    wrote on last edited by
    #2

    Steven J. Ackerman wrote: New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters, and rolled up newspapers must be registered by January 2036. If they want my newspaper they'll have to pry it from my cold, dead fingers! "How many times do I have to flush before you go away?" - Megan Forbes, on Management (12/5/2002)

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    • L Lost User

      Headlines 30 years from now (2033): Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, California. White minorities still trying to have English recognized as the California's third language. Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops & livestock. Baby conceived naturally.... Scientists stumped. Authentic year 2000 "chad" sells at Sotheby's for $4.6 million. Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria, and Lebanon.) Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels. Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking. George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036. Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesday only. 35 year study: diet and exercise are the key to weight loss. Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative. Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights. Upcoming NFL draft likely to focus on use of mutants. Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches. Microsoft announces it has perfected its newest version of Windows so it crashes BEFORE installation is completed. New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters, and rolled up newspapers must be registered by January 2036. Congress authorizes direct deposit of illegal political contributions to campaign accounts. Capitol Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with congressman. IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75% Steven J. Ackerman, Consultant ACS, Sarasota, FL http://www.acscontrol.com steve@acscontrol.com sja@gte.net

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      Steve McLenithan
      wrote on last edited by
      #3

      :-D;P:laugh: ******************** * $TeVe McLeNiThAn ********************

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      • L Lost User

        Headlines 30 years from now (2033): Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, California. White minorities still trying to have English recognized as the California's third language. Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops & livestock. Baby conceived naturally.... Scientists stumped. Authentic year 2000 "chad" sells at Sotheby's for $4.6 million. Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria, and Lebanon.) Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels. Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking. George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036. Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesday only. 35 year study: diet and exercise are the key to weight loss. Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative. Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights. Upcoming NFL draft likely to focus on use of mutants. Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches. Microsoft announces it has perfected its newest version of Windows so it crashes BEFORE installation is completed. New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters, and rolled up newspapers must be registered by January 2036. Congress authorizes direct deposit of illegal political contributions to campaign accounts. Capitol Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with congressman. IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75% Steven J. Ackerman, Consultant ACS, Sarasota, FL http://www.acscontrol.com steve@acscontrol.com sja@gte.net

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        Rob Graham
        wrote on last edited by
        #4

        Steven J. Ackerman wrote: President Chelsea Clinton X| Some ideas are so stupid that only an intellectual could have thought of them - George Orwell

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        • L Lost User

          Headlines 30 years from now (2033): Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, California. White minorities still trying to have English recognized as the California's third language. Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops & livestock. Baby conceived naturally.... Scientists stumped. Authentic year 2000 "chad" sells at Sotheby's for $4.6 million. Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria, and Lebanon.) Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels. Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking. George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036. Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesday only. 35 year study: diet and exercise are the key to weight loss. Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative. Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights. Upcoming NFL draft likely to focus on use of mutants. Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches. Microsoft announces it has perfected its newest version of Windows so it crashes BEFORE installation is completed. New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters, and rolled up newspapers must be registered by January 2036. Congress authorizes direct deposit of illegal political contributions to campaign accounts. Capitol Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with congressman. IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75% Steven J. Ackerman, Consultant ACS, Sarasota, FL http://www.acscontrol.com steve@acscontrol.com sja@gte.net

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          Kevnar
          wrote on last edited by
          #5

          Steven J. Ackerman wrote: Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights. I don't think this is entirely futuristic. This already seems to be the attitude going around. How about this one: "Feminist sues parents for giving birth to her, citing their violation of her right to be aborted if she chose."

          "My brother says 'Hello'... So hurray for speech therapy!" -Emo Phillips

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          • K Kevnar

            Steven J. Ackerman wrote: Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights. I don't think this is entirely futuristic. This already seems to be the attitude going around. How about this one: "Feminist sues parents for giving birth to her, citing their violation of her right to be aborted if she chose."

            "My brother says 'Hello'... So hurray for speech therapy!" -Emo Phillips

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            Jeremy Falcon
            wrote on last edited by
            #6

            Kevnar wrote: "Feminist sues parents for giving birth to her, citing their violation of her right to be aborted if she chose." :wtf: Ouch! Don't let Jerry Springer hear that one. Jeremy Falcon Imputek Excrement escapes everyone - even elders.

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            • K Kevnar

              Steven J. Ackerman wrote: Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights. I don't think this is entirely futuristic. This already seems to be the attitude going around. How about this one: "Feminist sues parents for giving birth to her, citing their violation of her right to be aborted if she chose."

              "My brother says 'Hello'... So hurray for speech therapy!" -Emo Phillips

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              Ray Cassick
              wrote on last edited by
              #7

              :-D

              Paul Watson wrote: "At the end of the day it is what you produce that counts, not how many doctorates you have on the wall."
              George Carlin wrote: "Don't sweat the petty things, and don't pet the sweaty things."

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              • K Kevnar

                Steven J. Ackerman wrote: Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights. I don't think this is entirely futuristic. This already seems to be the attitude going around. How about this one: "Feminist sues parents for giving birth to her, citing their violation of her right to be aborted if she chose."

                "My brother says 'Hello'... So hurray for speech therapy!" -Emo Phillips

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                KaRl
                wrote on last edited by
                #8

                Kevnar wrote: "Feminist sues parents for giving birth to her, citing their violation of her right to be aborted if she chose." We had a case quiet similar here. A person born very heavily handicapped sued the doctor who made a mistake and didn't warn his mother early enough to allow the abortion. Considering his life of pain and the interdiction of euthanasia, he considered the doctor as responsible. The court agreed with him. A very diificult case[^], IMO

                Angels banished from heaven have no choice but to become demons Cowboy Bebop

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                • K Kevnar

                  Steven J. Ackerman wrote: Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights. I don't think this is entirely futuristic. This already seems to be the attitude going around. How about this one: "Feminist sues parents for giving birth to her, citing their violation of her right to be aborted if she chose."

                  "My brother says 'Hello'... So hurray for speech therapy!" -Emo Phillips

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                  Chris Losinger
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #9

                  A 15-year-old schoolgirl is suing her education authority claiming that school punishments breached her civil rights. -c

                  I'm not the droid you're looking for.

                  ThumbNailer

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                  • C Chris Losinger

                    A 15-year-old schoolgirl is suing her education authority claiming that school punishments breached her civil rights. -c

                    I'm not the droid you're looking for.

                    ThumbNailer

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                    Rob Graham
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #10

                    Idiots for parents. She should sue them. Some ideas are so stupid that only an intellectual could have thought of them - George Orwell

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                    • C Chris Losinger

                      A 15-year-old schoolgirl is suing her education authority claiming that school punishments breached her civil rights. -c

                      I'm not the droid you're looking for.

                      ThumbNailer

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                      Paul Watson
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #11

                      Chris Losinger wrote: A 15-year-old schoolgirl is suing her education authority claiming that school punishments breached her civil rights. While that case is just daft I do remember one high school I went to where a teacher was arrested for taking jacks (corporal punishment, lashes, caning etc.) a bit too far. He caned one kid just above his arse and just below the middle of his back, and caned him so hard and for so long that the kid had to be hospitalised. Was horrific. And detention never taught me nuffing guvner, just how to slip a interesting book inside of the detention designated book... :rolleyes:

                      Paul Watson
                      Bluegrass
                      Cape Town, South Africa

                      Photographs

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                      • R Rob Graham

                        Idiots for parents. She should sue them. Some ideas are so stupid that only an intellectual could have thought of them - George Orwell

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                        Alvaro Mendez
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #12

                        :laugh: Yeah and then they would each sue their own parents.

                        Well done is better than well said. -- Benjamin Franklin (I actually prefer medium-well.)

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                        • J Jeremy Falcon

                          Kevnar wrote: "Feminist sues parents for giving birth to her, citing their violation of her right to be aborted if she chose." :wtf: Ouch! Don't let Jerry Springer hear that one. Jeremy Falcon Imputek Excrement escapes everyone - even elders.

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                          Taka Muraoka
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #13

                          This has happened already! I think some severely mentally retarded or physically handicapped kid in Germany (?) sued his parents for not aborting him. I kid you not.

                          he he he. I like it in the kitchen! - Marc Clifton (on taking the heat when being flamed) Awasu v0.4a[^]: A free RSS reader with support for Code Project.

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                          • R Roger Wright

                            Steven J. Ackerman wrote: New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters, and rolled up newspapers must be registered by January 2036. If they want my newspaper they'll have to pry it from my cold, dead fingers! "How many times do I have to flush before you go away?" - Megan Forbes, on Management (12/5/2002)

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                            Brad Jennings
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #14

                            I love the NRA :) Brad Jennings

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