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Lawn Wolf

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  • realJSOPR Offline
    realJSOPR Offline
    realJSOP
    wrote on last edited by
    #1

    At our new house, the area is rife with deer that amble around from yard to yard with nary a care in the world. My wife has taken to putting out carrots for them in an effort to lure them closer to the front of the house for more convenient observation. This morning when the news had a soundbite from NYC law enforcement regarding the terrorist they caught, the NYC rep said w hat sounded more like "lawn wolf" instead of "lone wolf". My wife said something about being concerned for the deer that frequently travers our lawn, and told me to keep an eye out for lawn wolves as I was leaving for work. This is our resulting email exchange so far this morning: Me: I noted the presence of several dozen deer on/about our yard (and the neighbors' yards), so I don't think we have a lawn wolf problem - yet. Maybe we should keep the pellet gun by the front door, though, just in case. Her: That's good to know, I was a little worried about walking out to the car this morning, I thought I heard a little growl from somewhere over by the workshop. Unless lawn wolves are not much bigger than wood eating squirrels we may need a bigger pellet gun! Me: No worries. I have bigger pellet guns. I just heard that lawn wolves are mainly restricted to New York, but that they're being seen in other areas because of the increased residential development that's gradually consuming their natural habitat. I'll see if I can't find special non-lethal ammo that is effective against law wolves. Her: I think garlic is supposed to do the trick. Me: I think that’s for werewolves. Maybe you inadvertently stumbled on an effective deterrent in the form of raw carrots... Her: Oh yeah, that is werewolves. Maybe you need to make a carrot launcher - sort of like a potato shooter only smaller. Me: I'm rather hoping that the deer actually acquire some sort of camouflaging capability by eating the carrots, and that camouflage only prevents lawn-wolves from seeing them. The aerodynamics of your typical whole raw carrot would probably be problematic when calculating exactly how much propellant is needed to launch said carrot at a velocity sufficient enough to dissuade a lawn wolf from stalking otherwise helpless deer on your typical lawn surface. Of course, this is all just theory, and we'd have to conduct some sort of viability study before coming up with a list of materials necessary to create a carrot weapon. Her: Okay, Sheldon. Me: I don't want to just go willy-nilly creating carrot weapons that have varying degrees of effective

    S C A T L 12 Replies Last reply
    0
    • realJSOPR realJSOP

      At our new house, the area is rife with deer that amble around from yard to yard with nary a care in the world. My wife has taken to putting out carrots for them in an effort to lure them closer to the front of the house for more convenient observation. This morning when the news had a soundbite from NYC law enforcement regarding the terrorist they caught, the NYC rep said w hat sounded more like "lawn wolf" instead of "lone wolf". My wife said something about being concerned for the deer that frequently travers our lawn, and told me to keep an eye out for lawn wolves as I was leaving for work. This is our resulting email exchange so far this morning: Me: I noted the presence of several dozen deer on/about our yard (and the neighbors' yards), so I don't think we have a lawn wolf problem - yet. Maybe we should keep the pellet gun by the front door, though, just in case. Her: That's good to know, I was a little worried about walking out to the car this morning, I thought I heard a little growl from somewhere over by the workshop. Unless lawn wolves are not much bigger than wood eating squirrels we may need a bigger pellet gun! Me: No worries. I have bigger pellet guns. I just heard that lawn wolves are mainly restricted to New York, but that they're being seen in other areas because of the increased residential development that's gradually consuming their natural habitat. I'll see if I can't find special non-lethal ammo that is effective against law wolves. Her: I think garlic is supposed to do the trick. Me: I think that’s for werewolves. Maybe you inadvertently stumbled on an effective deterrent in the form of raw carrots... Her: Oh yeah, that is werewolves. Maybe you need to make a carrot launcher - sort of like a potato shooter only smaller. Me: I'm rather hoping that the deer actually acquire some sort of camouflaging capability by eating the carrots, and that camouflage only prevents lawn-wolves from seeing them. The aerodynamics of your typical whole raw carrot would probably be problematic when calculating exactly how much propellant is needed to launch said carrot at a velocity sufficient enough to dissuade a lawn wolf from stalking otherwise helpless deer on your typical lawn surface. Of course, this is all just theory, and we'd have to conduct some sort of viability study before coming up with a list of materials necessary to create a carrot weapon. Her: Okay, Sheldon. Me: I don't want to just go willy-nilly creating carrot weapons that have varying degrees of effective

      S Offline
      S Offline
      Slacker007
      wrote on last edited by
      #2

      This is too damn long to read. Could you break it up into more manageable blocks next time? :)

      Just along for the ride. "the meat from that butcher is just the dogs danglies, absolutely amazing cuts of beef." - DaveAuld (2011)
      "No, that is just the earthly manifestation of the Great God Retardon." - Nagy Vilmos (2011)

      R H M 3 Replies Last reply
      0
      • S Slacker007

        This is too damn long to read. Could you break it up into more manageable blocks next time? :)

        Just along for the ride. "the meat from that butcher is just the dogs danglies, absolutely amazing cuts of beef." - DaveAuld (2011)
        "No, that is just the earthly manifestation of the Great God Retardon." - Nagy Vilmos (2011)

        R Offline
        R Offline
        Rage
        wrote on last edited by
        #3

        Summary:

        *clic clic* * BANG *

        • Watch out, a carrot !
        H 1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • realJSOPR realJSOP

          At our new house, the area is rife with deer that amble around from yard to yard with nary a care in the world. My wife has taken to putting out carrots for them in an effort to lure them closer to the front of the house for more convenient observation. This morning when the news had a soundbite from NYC law enforcement regarding the terrorist they caught, the NYC rep said w hat sounded more like "lawn wolf" instead of "lone wolf". My wife said something about being concerned for the deer that frequently travers our lawn, and told me to keep an eye out for lawn wolves as I was leaving for work. This is our resulting email exchange so far this morning: Me: I noted the presence of several dozen deer on/about our yard (and the neighbors' yards), so I don't think we have a lawn wolf problem - yet. Maybe we should keep the pellet gun by the front door, though, just in case. Her: That's good to know, I was a little worried about walking out to the car this morning, I thought I heard a little growl from somewhere over by the workshop. Unless lawn wolves are not much bigger than wood eating squirrels we may need a bigger pellet gun! Me: No worries. I have bigger pellet guns. I just heard that lawn wolves are mainly restricted to New York, but that they're being seen in other areas because of the increased residential development that's gradually consuming their natural habitat. I'll see if I can't find special non-lethal ammo that is effective against law wolves. Her: I think garlic is supposed to do the trick. Me: I think that’s for werewolves. Maybe you inadvertently stumbled on an effective deterrent in the form of raw carrots... Her: Oh yeah, that is werewolves. Maybe you need to make a carrot launcher - sort of like a potato shooter only smaller. Me: I'm rather hoping that the deer actually acquire some sort of camouflaging capability by eating the carrots, and that camouflage only prevents lawn-wolves from seeing them. The aerodynamics of your typical whole raw carrot would probably be problematic when calculating exactly how much propellant is needed to launch said carrot at a velocity sufficient enough to dissuade a lawn wolf from stalking otherwise helpless deer on your typical lawn surface. Of course, this is all just theory, and we'd have to conduct some sort of viability study before coming up with a list of materials necessary to create a carrot weapon. Her: Okay, Sheldon. Me: I don't want to just go willy-nilly creating carrot weapons that have varying degrees of effective

          C Offline
          C Offline
          clientSurfer
          wrote on last edited by
          #4

          Bazinga!

          "... having only that moment finished a vigorous game of Wiff-Waff and eaten a tartiflet." - Henry Minute  "...who gives a tinker's cuss?" - Dalek Dave  "Let's face it, after Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF!" - gavindon

          1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • R Rage

            Summary:

            *clic clic* * BANG *

            • Watch out, a carrot !
            H Offline
            H Offline
            Henry Minute
            wrote on last edited by
            #5

            You have to be careful of them thar carrots![^]. Possibly NSFW. (Although I suggest you take a look and decide for yourself).

            Henry Minute Do not read medical books! You could die of a misprint. - Mark Twain Girl: (staring) "Why do you need an icy cucumber?" “I want to report a fraud. The government is lying to us all.” I wouldn't let CG touch my Abacus! When you're wrestling a gorilla, you don't stop when you're tired, you stop when the gorilla is.

            1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • realJSOPR realJSOP

              At our new house, the area is rife with deer that amble around from yard to yard with nary a care in the world. My wife has taken to putting out carrots for them in an effort to lure them closer to the front of the house for more convenient observation. This morning when the news had a soundbite from NYC law enforcement regarding the terrorist they caught, the NYC rep said w hat sounded more like "lawn wolf" instead of "lone wolf". My wife said something about being concerned for the deer that frequently travers our lawn, and told me to keep an eye out for lawn wolves as I was leaving for work. This is our resulting email exchange so far this morning: Me: I noted the presence of several dozen deer on/about our yard (and the neighbors' yards), so I don't think we have a lawn wolf problem - yet. Maybe we should keep the pellet gun by the front door, though, just in case. Her: That's good to know, I was a little worried about walking out to the car this morning, I thought I heard a little growl from somewhere over by the workshop. Unless lawn wolves are not much bigger than wood eating squirrels we may need a bigger pellet gun! Me: No worries. I have bigger pellet guns. I just heard that lawn wolves are mainly restricted to New York, but that they're being seen in other areas because of the increased residential development that's gradually consuming their natural habitat. I'll see if I can't find special non-lethal ammo that is effective against law wolves. Her: I think garlic is supposed to do the trick. Me: I think that’s for werewolves. Maybe you inadvertently stumbled on an effective deterrent in the form of raw carrots... Her: Oh yeah, that is werewolves. Maybe you need to make a carrot launcher - sort of like a potato shooter only smaller. Me: I'm rather hoping that the deer actually acquire some sort of camouflaging capability by eating the carrots, and that camouflage only prevents lawn-wolves from seeing them. The aerodynamics of your typical whole raw carrot would probably be problematic when calculating exactly how much propellant is needed to launch said carrot at a velocity sufficient enough to dissuade a lawn wolf from stalking otherwise helpless deer on your typical lawn surface. Of course, this is all just theory, and we'd have to conduct some sort of viability study before coming up with a list of materials necessary to create a carrot weapon. Her: Okay, Sheldon. Me: I don't want to just go willy-nilly creating carrot weapons that have varying degrees of effective

              A Offline
              A Offline
              Abhinav S
              wrote on last edited by
              #6

              John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote:

              Her: You're right, an incorrectly conceived/manufactured carrot weapon in the wrong hands could be detrimental to the overall well-being of the Garden Ridge animal population. We don't want to cause bodily injury or undo stress to our new neighbors (*). We also need to be sure we can identify a lawn wolf with 100% accuracy, using a lawn wolf carrot weapon on some other type of wolf, a driveway wolf for instance, could go very bad very quickly.

              If your spouse had stopped you mid-sentence, would you have started twitching and looked like you were going to explode?!? That would have been fun. :-D By the way I gave a five to your post but to your spouse, not for the post itself, but rather for her calling you Sheldon!!

              realJSOPR 1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • realJSOPR realJSOP

                At our new house, the area is rife with deer that amble around from yard to yard with nary a care in the world. My wife has taken to putting out carrots for them in an effort to lure them closer to the front of the house for more convenient observation. This morning when the news had a soundbite from NYC law enforcement regarding the terrorist they caught, the NYC rep said w hat sounded more like "lawn wolf" instead of "lone wolf". My wife said something about being concerned for the deer that frequently travers our lawn, and told me to keep an eye out for lawn wolves as I was leaving for work. This is our resulting email exchange so far this morning: Me: I noted the presence of several dozen deer on/about our yard (and the neighbors' yards), so I don't think we have a lawn wolf problem - yet. Maybe we should keep the pellet gun by the front door, though, just in case. Her: That's good to know, I was a little worried about walking out to the car this morning, I thought I heard a little growl from somewhere over by the workshop. Unless lawn wolves are not much bigger than wood eating squirrels we may need a bigger pellet gun! Me: No worries. I have bigger pellet guns. I just heard that lawn wolves are mainly restricted to New York, but that they're being seen in other areas because of the increased residential development that's gradually consuming their natural habitat. I'll see if I can't find special non-lethal ammo that is effective against law wolves. Her: I think garlic is supposed to do the trick. Me: I think that’s for werewolves. Maybe you inadvertently stumbled on an effective deterrent in the form of raw carrots... Her: Oh yeah, that is werewolves. Maybe you need to make a carrot launcher - sort of like a potato shooter only smaller. Me: I'm rather hoping that the deer actually acquire some sort of camouflaging capability by eating the carrots, and that camouflage only prevents lawn-wolves from seeing them. The aerodynamics of your typical whole raw carrot would probably be problematic when calculating exactly how much propellant is needed to launch said carrot at a velocity sufficient enough to dissuade a lawn wolf from stalking otherwise helpless deer on your typical lawn surface. Of course, this is all just theory, and we'd have to conduct some sort of viability study before coming up with a list of materials necessary to create a carrot weapon. Her: Okay, Sheldon. Me: I don't want to just go willy-nilly creating carrot weapons that have varying degrees of effective

                T Offline
                T Offline
                thrakazog
                wrote on last edited by
                #7

                John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote:

                lure them closer to the front of the house for more convenient observation dinner.

                ftfy

                Kill some time, play my game Hop Cheops[^]

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • A Abhinav S

                  John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote:

                  Her: You're right, an incorrectly conceived/manufactured carrot weapon in the wrong hands could be detrimental to the overall well-being of the Garden Ridge animal population. We don't want to cause bodily injury or undo stress to our new neighbors (*). We also need to be sure we can identify a lawn wolf with 100% accuracy, using a lawn wolf carrot weapon on some other type of wolf, a driveway wolf for instance, could go very bad very quickly.

                  If your spouse had stopped you mid-sentence, would you have started twitching and looked like you were going to explode?!? That would have been fun. :-D By the way I gave a five to your post but to your spouse, not for the post itself, but rather for her calling you Sheldon!!

                  realJSOPR Offline
                  realJSOPR Offline
                  realJSOP
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #8

                  Abhinav S wrote:

                  By the way I gave a five to your post but to your spouse, not for the post itself, but rather for her calling you Sheldon!!

                  We're fans of the show. :)

                  ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                  -----
                  You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                  -----
                  "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

                  A 1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • realJSOPR realJSOP

                    Abhinav S wrote:

                    By the way I gave a five to your post but to your spouse, not for the post itself, but rather for her calling you Sheldon!!

                    We're fans of the show. :)

                    ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                    -----
                    You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                    -----
                    "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

                    A Offline
                    A Offline
                    Abhinav S
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #9

                    John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote:

                    We're fans of the show

                    Me too. The show is a classic. Rajesh Koothrapalli is my favourite for obvious reasons!! Ok I won't be racist, Sheldon is!! :-D

                    Too much of heaven can bring you underground Heaven can always turn around Too much of heaven, our life is all hell bound Heaven, the kill that makes no sound

                    C 1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • realJSOPR realJSOP

                      At our new house, the area is rife with deer that amble around from yard to yard with nary a care in the world. My wife has taken to putting out carrots for them in an effort to lure them closer to the front of the house for more convenient observation. This morning when the news had a soundbite from NYC law enforcement regarding the terrorist they caught, the NYC rep said w hat sounded more like "lawn wolf" instead of "lone wolf". My wife said something about being concerned for the deer that frequently travers our lawn, and told me to keep an eye out for lawn wolves as I was leaving for work. This is our resulting email exchange so far this morning: Me: I noted the presence of several dozen deer on/about our yard (and the neighbors' yards), so I don't think we have a lawn wolf problem - yet. Maybe we should keep the pellet gun by the front door, though, just in case. Her: That's good to know, I was a little worried about walking out to the car this morning, I thought I heard a little growl from somewhere over by the workshop. Unless lawn wolves are not much bigger than wood eating squirrels we may need a bigger pellet gun! Me: No worries. I have bigger pellet guns. I just heard that lawn wolves are mainly restricted to New York, but that they're being seen in other areas because of the increased residential development that's gradually consuming their natural habitat. I'll see if I can't find special non-lethal ammo that is effective against law wolves. Her: I think garlic is supposed to do the trick. Me: I think that’s for werewolves. Maybe you inadvertently stumbled on an effective deterrent in the form of raw carrots... Her: Oh yeah, that is werewolves. Maybe you need to make a carrot launcher - sort of like a potato shooter only smaller. Me: I'm rather hoping that the deer actually acquire some sort of camouflaging capability by eating the carrots, and that camouflage only prevents lawn-wolves from seeing them. The aerodynamics of your typical whole raw carrot would probably be problematic when calculating exactly how much propellant is needed to launch said carrot at a velocity sufficient enough to dissuade a lawn wolf from stalking otherwise helpless deer on your typical lawn surface. Of course, this is all just theory, and we'd have to conduct some sort of viability study before coming up with a list of materials necessary to create a carrot weapon. Her: Okay, Sheldon. Me: I don't want to just go willy-nilly creating carrot weapons that have varying degrees of effective

                      L Offline
                      L Offline
                      Luc Pattyn
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #10

                      Would CamoPicker 2.0 be up to camouflaging a carrot launcher and its ammo? or is that to be expected in a future release? :) PS: and what is the estimated Sheldon-to-wolf ratio in your area?

                      Luc Pattyn [My Articles] Nil Volentibus Arduum

                      realJSOPR 1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • L Luc Pattyn

                        Would CamoPicker 2.0 be up to camouflaging a carrot launcher and its ammo? or is that to be expected in a future release? :) PS: and what is the estimated Sheldon-to-wolf ratio in your area?

                        Luc Pattyn [My Articles] Nil Volentibus Arduum

                        realJSOPR Offline
                        realJSOPR Offline
                        realJSOP
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #11

                        CamoPicker doesn't do the camouflaging, it only lets you select colors to implement your own camouflaging. Paint carrots camouflage would be pretty pointless because if I missed a lawn wolf with it, the deer wouldn't be able to find it to eat it. When hunting wild animals, complex camouflage isn't really necessary unless you're REALLY hunting as opposed to camping out in a deer stand or something like that. Wearing clothing that is the approximate color is good enough if you're on the move. For example, I walked out of our garage yesterday evening, and noticed a rather large buck standing on the other side of the driveway. I manage to scoot behind my wife's car before it saw me, and I edged slowly around the car so I could observe the animal. I stood perfectly still, and while the deer saw me, it took no real notice because I wasn't moving. Essentially, it didn't "see" me. I stood there for almost 10 minutes, and it actually got so close to me at one point that I could have killed it with a knife (assuming I was fast enough).

                        ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                        -----
                        You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                        -----
                        "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

                        L R 2 Replies Last reply
                        0
                        • S Slacker007

                          This is too damn long to read. Could you break it up into more manageable blocks next time? :)

                          Just along for the ride. "the meat from that butcher is just the dogs danglies, absolutely amazing cuts of beef." - DaveAuld (2011)
                          "No, that is just the earthly manifestation of the Great God Retardon." - Nagy Vilmos (2011)

                          H Offline
                          H Offline
                          Henry Minute
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #12

                          Shhhhh! He's huntin cawwots.

                          Henry Minute Do not read medical books! You could die of a misprint. - Mark Twain Girl: (staring) "Why do you need an icy cucumber?" “I want to report a fraud. The government is lying to us all.” I wouldn't let CG touch my Abacus! When you're wrestling a gorilla, you don't stop when you're tired, you stop when the gorilla is.

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • realJSOPR realJSOP

                            At our new house, the area is rife with deer that amble around from yard to yard with nary a care in the world. My wife has taken to putting out carrots for them in an effort to lure them closer to the front of the house for more convenient observation. This morning when the news had a soundbite from NYC law enforcement regarding the terrorist they caught, the NYC rep said w hat sounded more like "lawn wolf" instead of "lone wolf". My wife said something about being concerned for the deer that frequently travers our lawn, and told me to keep an eye out for lawn wolves as I was leaving for work. This is our resulting email exchange so far this morning: Me: I noted the presence of several dozen deer on/about our yard (and the neighbors' yards), so I don't think we have a lawn wolf problem - yet. Maybe we should keep the pellet gun by the front door, though, just in case. Her: That's good to know, I was a little worried about walking out to the car this morning, I thought I heard a little growl from somewhere over by the workshop. Unless lawn wolves are not much bigger than wood eating squirrels we may need a bigger pellet gun! Me: No worries. I have bigger pellet guns. I just heard that lawn wolves are mainly restricted to New York, but that they're being seen in other areas because of the increased residential development that's gradually consuming their natural habitat. I'll see if I can't find special non-lethal ammo that is effective against law wolves. Her: I think garlic is supposed to do the trick. Me: I think that’s for werewolves. Maybe you inadvertently stumbled on an effective deterrent in the form of raw carrots... Her: Oh yeah, that is werewolves. Maybe you need to make a carrot launcher - sort of like a potato shooter only smaller. Me: I'm rather hoping that the deer actually acquire some sort of camouflaging capability by eating the carrots, and that camouflage only prevents lawn-wolves from seeing them. The aerodynamics of your typical whole raw carrot would probably be problematic when calculating exactly how much propellant is needed to launch said carrot at a velocity sufficient enough to dissuade a lawn wolf from stalking otherwise helpless deer on your typical lawn surface. Of course, this is all just theory, and we'd have to conduct some sort of viability study before coming up with a list of materials necessary to create a carrot weapon. Her: Okay, Sheldon. Me: I don't want to just go willy-nilly creating carrot weapons that have varying degrees of effective

                            L Offline
                            L Offline
                            Lost User
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #13

                            Hey, I have a Lawn Wolf! It is a 3.5 hp lawnmower made by Wolf! :laugh:

                            ============================== Nothing to say.

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • realJSOPR realJSOP

                              CamoPicker doesn't do the camouflaging, it only lets you select colors to implement your own camouflaging. Paint carrots camouflage would be pretty pointless because if I missed a lawn wolf with it, the deer wouldn't be able to find it to eat it. When hunting wild animals, complex camouflage isn't really necessary unless you're REALLY hunting as opposed to camping out in a deer stand or something like that. Wearing clothing that is the approximate color is good enough if you're on the move. For example, I walked out of our garage yesterday evening, and noticed a rather large buck standing on the other side of the driveway. I manage to scoot behind my wife's car before it saw me, and I edged slowly around the car so I could observe the animal. I stood perfectly still, and while the deer saw me, it took no real notice because I wasn't moving. Essentially, it didn't "see" me. I stood there for almost 10 minutes, and it actually got so close to me at one point that I could have killed it with a knife (assuming I was fast enough).

                              ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                              -----
                              You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                              -----
                              "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

                              L Offline
                              L Offline
                              Lost User
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #14

                              John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote:

                              at one point that I could have killed it with a knife

                              And then be confused with a lawn wolf and shot with a carrot...

                              And from the clouds a mighty voice spoke:
                              "Smile and be happy, for it could come worse!"

                              And I smiled and was happy
                              And it came worse.

                              realJSOPR 1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • L Lost User

                                John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote:

                                at one point that I could have killed it with a knife

                                And then be confused with a lawn wolf and shot with a carrot...

                                And from the clouds a mighty voice spoke:
                                "Smile and be happy, for it could come worse!"

                                And I smiled and was happy
                                And it came worse.

                                realJSOPR Offline
                                realJSOPR Offline
                                realJSOP
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #15

                                5! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: I'm almost positive that lawn wolves don't carry knives.

                                ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                                -----
                                You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                                -----
                                "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

                                L L 2 Replies Last reply
                                0
                                • S Slacker007

                                  This is too damn long to read. Could you break it up into more manageable blocks next time? :)

                                  Just along for the ride. "the meat from that butcher is just the dogs danglies, absolutely amazing cuts of beef." - DaveAuld (2011)
                                  "No, that is just the earthly manifestation of the Great God Retardon." - Nagy Vilmos (2011)

                                  M Offline
                                  M Offline
                                  melchizedek
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #16

                                  I've actually made a small (~15" long 1/2" PVC) potato gun that would should carrots as well. Potato chunks worked better than carrots. Neither packed enough punch to do more than knock a squirrel off of the bird feeder on our deck. Only one showed any signs of dizziness :-D I think the noise did more to make it a deterrent.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • realJSOPR realJSOP

                                    At our new house, the area is rife with deer that amble around from yard to yard with nary a care in the world. My wife has taken to putting out carrots for them in an effort to lure them closer to the front of the house for more convenient observation. This morning when the news had a soundbite from NYC law enforcement regarding the terrorist they caught, the NYC rep said w hat sounded more like "lawn wolf" instead of "lone wolf". My wife said something about being concerned for the deer that frequently travers our lawn, and told me to keep an eye out for lawn wolves as I was leaving for work. This is our resulting email exchange so far this morning: Me: I noted the presence of several dozen deer on/about our yard (and the neighbors' yards), so I don't think we have a lawn wolf problem - yet. Maybe we should keep the pellet gun by the front door, though, just in case. Her: That's good to know, I was a little worried about walking out to the car this morning, I thought I heard a little growl from somewhere over by the workshop. Unless lawn wolves are not much bigger than wood eating squirrels we may need a bigger pellet gun! Me: No worries. I have bigger pellet guns. I just heard that lawn wolves are mainly restricted to New York, but that they're being seen in other areas because of the increased residential development that's gradually consuming their natural habitat. I'll see if I can't find special non-lethal ammo that is effective against law wolves. Her: I think garlic is supposed to do the trick. Me: I think that’s for werewolves. Maybe you inadvertently stumbled on an effective deterrent in the form of raw carrots... Her: Oh yeah, that is werewolves. Maybe you need to make a carrot launcher - sort of like a potato shooter only smaller. Me: I'm rather hoping that the deer actually acquire some sort of camouflaging capability by eating the carrots, and that camouflage only prevents lawn-wolves from seeing them. The aerodynamics of your typical whole raw carrot would probably be problematic when calculating exactly how much propellant is needed to launch said carrot at a velocity sufficient enough to dissuade a lawn wolf from stalking otherwise helpless deer on your typical lawn surface. Of course, this is all just theory, and we'd have to conduct some sort of viability study before coming up with a list of materials necessary to create a carrot weapon. Her: Okay, Sheldon. Me: I don't want to just go willy-nilly creating carrot weapons that have varying degrees of effective

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                                    Garth J Lancaster
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #17

                                    your wife sounds fun !! 5 points for her being able to call you Sheldon !!!

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                                    • realJSOPR realJSOP

                                      5! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: I'm almost positive that lawn wolves don't carry knives.

                                      ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                                      -----
                                      You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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                                      "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

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                                      Luc Pattyn
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #18

                                      I don't have a clue as to what lawn wolves are carrying in the state of Texas. I trust you'll be careful, rather than just "almost positive...". After all, they might be carrying a knife so they can peel any carrot that gets thrown at them. :)

                                      Luc Pattyn [My Articles] Nil Volentibus Arduum

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                                      • realJSOPR realJSOP

                                        At our new house, the area is rife with deer that amble around from yard to yard with nary a care in the world. My wife has taken to putting out carrots for them in an effort to lure them closer to the front of the house for more convenient observation. This morning when the news had a soundbite from NYC law enforcement regarding the terrorist they caught, the NYC rep said w hat sounded more like "lawn wolf" instead of "lone wolf". My wife said something about being concerned for the deer that frequently travers our lawn, and told me to keep an eye out for lawn wolves as I was leaving for work. This is our resulting email exchange so far this morning: Me: I noted the presence of several dozen deer on/about our yard (and the neighbors' yards), so I don't think we have a lawn wolf problem - yet. Maybe we should keep the pellet gun by the front door, though, just in case. Her: That's good to know, I was a little worried about walking out to the car this morning, I thought I heard a little growl from somewhere over by the workshop. Unless lawn wolves are not much bigger than wood eating squirrels we may need a bigger pellet gun! Me: No worries. I have bigger pellet guns. I just heard that lawn wolves are mainly restricted to New York, but that they're being seen in other areas because of the increased residential development that's gradually consuming their natural habitat. I'll see if I can't find special non-lethal ammo that is effective against law wolves. Her: I think garlic is supposed to do the trick. Me: I think that’s for werewolves. Maybe you inadvertently stumbled on an effective deterrent in the form of raw carrots... Her: Oh yeah, that is werewolves. Maybe you need to make a carrot launcher - sort of like a potato shooter only smaller. Me: I'm rather hoping that the deer actually acquire some sort of camouflaging capability by eating the carrots, and that camouflage only prevents lawn-wolves from seeing them. The aerodynamics of your typical whole raw carrot would probably be problematic when calculating exactly how much propellant is needed to launch said carrot at a velocity sufficient enough to dissuade a lawn wolf from stalking otherwise helpless deer on your typical lawn surface. Of course, this is all just theory, and we'd have to conduct some sort of viability study before coming up with a list of materials necessary to create a carrot weapon. Her: Okay, Sheldon. Me: I don't want to just go willy-nilly creating carrot weapons that have varying degrees of effective

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                                        lewax00
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #19

                                        John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote:

                                        Her: I think garlic is supposed to do the trick.
                                         
                                        Me: I think that’s for werewolves. Maybe you inadvertently stumbled on an effective deterrent in the form of raw carrots...
                                         
                                        Her: Oh yeah, that is werewolves. Maybe you need to make a carrot launcher - sort of like a potato shooter only smaller.

                                        No, garlic is for vampires. You need silver to deal with werewolves! But a carrot launcher does sound like an interesting thing to build...maybe after I finish playing around with electronic circuits...

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                                        • A Abhinav S

                                          John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote:

                                          We're fans of the show

                                          Me too. The show is a classic. Rajesh Koothrapalli is my favourite for obvious reasons!! Ok I won't be racist, Sheldon is!! :-D

                                          Too much of heaven can bring you underground Heaven can always turn around Too much of heaven, our life is all hell bound Heaven, the kill that makes no sound

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                                          charlieg
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #20

                                          but aquaman sucks!!! :)

                                          Charlie Gilley You're going to tell me what I want to know, or I'm going to beat you to death in your own house. "Where liberty dwells, there is my country." B. Franklin, 1783 “They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.” BF, 1759

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