The joy of language.
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This afternoon I recalled some statements I read and heard in the past: 1. I once read the oft quoted "my wife doesn't understand me" and using a comma and question mark, it was changed to "my wife doesn't, understand me?" 2. I was in Bulawayo, Zimbabwe many years ago when I heard this one on the African BBC news broadcast from London. At the time signal pips, the newsreader meant to say "It's 8 o'clock Greenwich Mean Time. Here is the news." Instead he pronounced it "It's 8 o'clock Greenwich. Meantime, here is the news." 3. On South Africa's TV news sometime in the 90's the presenter's introductory headlines meant to say "Manchester Utd beat Chelsea 4-0 in the FA Cup final." The rather delightful black African accent changed the inflection when he said "Manchester Utd beat Chelsea 4-0 in the f*ckup Final." 4. When I did my military service in SA we had a particulary obnoxious and somewhat dim career platoon sargeant who often vented his halitosis at close range. We were doing some dull combat drill when he screamed at a mate of mine "I told you lot to spread out in a bunch." We all laughed our heads off. He laughed as well and then seriously asked "What are we laughing about?" 5. Years ago we had an elderly black african chap who came to our office in Johannesburg. He was looking for work. Our MD was interested as he wanted someone who would clean the company cars we had so he decided to employ him. I was asked to get the forms from the local government office. This chap called Sam had no documentation of any kind but we filled in the form as best we could. I asked him his age and he told me "I have witnessed many of the Lord's sunrises but I don't know how many." Looking at the snow-white hair on his head I reckoned he was about 70 and I put it down as such. I asked him his surname and he told me "I have never needed or wanted one." Where were you born? "In a small village near the banks of the Zambesi." I knew this was going to be a long session. I told him we needed a surname so I jokingly asked him "We could call you Sam Zambesi." His crinkled face lit up and he laughed "Sam Zambesi. I like that." I sent the forms to the SA government and a couple of weeks later, a letter and document addressed to Mr. Sam Zambesi was delivered to our office. When I showed it to Sam he could not stop laughing and proudly displayed it in his outside office where he lovingly cleaned our cars and swept the parking lot and sang songs in those beautiful African tones. I learned much in the way of humility from Sam and
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This afternoon I recalled some statements I read and heard in the past: 1. I once read the oft quoted "my wife doesn't understand me" and using a comma and question mark, it was changed to "my wife doesn't, understand me?" 2. I was in Bulawayo, Zimbabwe many years ago when I heard this one on the African BBC news broadcast from London. At the time signal pips, the newsreader meant to say "It's 8 o'clock Greenwich Mean Time. Here is the news." Instead he pronounced it "It's 8 o'clock Greenwich. Meantime, here is the news." 3. On South Africa's TV news sometime in the 90's the presenter's introductory headlines meant to say "Manchester Utd beat Chelsea 4-0 in the FA Cup final." The rather delightful black African accent changed the inflection when he said "Manchester Utd beat Chelsea 4-0 in the f*ckup Final." 4. When I did my military service in SA we had a particulary obnoxious and somewhat dim career platoon sargeant who often vented his halitosis at close range. We were doing some dull combat drill when he screamed at a mate of mine "I told you lot to spread out in a bunch." We all laughed our heads off. He laughed as well and then seriously asked "What are we laughing about?" 5. Years ago we had an elderly black african chap who came to our office in Johannesburg. He was looking for work. Our MD was interested as he wanted someone who would clean the company cars we had so he decided to employ him. I was asked to get the forms from the local government office. This chap called Sam had no documentation of any kind but we filled in the form as best we could. I asked him his age and he told me "I have witnessed many of the Lord's sunrises but I don't know how many." Looking at the snow-white hair on his head I reckoned he was about 70 and I put it down as such. I asked him his surname and he told me "I have never needed or wanted one." Where were you born? "In a small village near the banks of the Zambesi." I knew this was going to be a long session. I told him we needed a surname so I jokingly asked him "We could call you Sam Zambesi." His crinkled face lit up and he laughed "Sam Zambesi. I like that." I sent the forms to the SA government and a couple of weeks later, a letter and document addressed to Mr. Sam Zambesi was delivered to our office. When I showed it to Sam he could not stop laughing and proudly displayed it in his outside office where he lovingly cleaned our cars and swept the parking lot and sang songs in those beautiful African tones. I learned much in the way of humility from Sam and
Reminds me of the story of a racehorse whose name almost got through the vetting system for racehorse names - where horse names are checked both for originality and for possible problems when their names are pronounced quickly by the race commentators. Almost at the last minute the name was rejected. The name was "Norfolk and Chance"...
“That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.”
― Christopher Hitchens
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This afternoon I recalled some statements I read and heard in the past: 1. I once read the oft quoted "my wife doesn't understand me" and using a comma and question mark, it was changed to "my wife doesn't, understand me?" 2. I was in Bulawayo, Zimbabwe many years ago when I heard this one on the African BBC news broadcast from London. At the time signal pips, the newsreader meant to say "It's 8 o'clock Greenwich Mean Time. Here is the news." Instead he pronounced it "It's 8 o'clock Greenwich. Meantime, here is the news." 3. On South Africa's TV news sometime in the 90's the presenter's introductory headlines meant to say "Manchester Utd beat Chelsea 4-0 in the FA Cup final." The rather delightful black African accent changed the inflection when he said "Manchester Utd beat Chelsea 4-0 in the f*ckup Final." 4. When I did my military service in SA we had a particulary obnoxious and somewhat dim career platoon sargeant who often vented his halitosis at close range. We were doing some dull combat drill when he screamed at a mate of mine "I told you lot to spread out in a bunch." We all laughed our heads off. He laughed as well and then seriously asked "What are we laughing about?" 5. Years ago we had an elderly black african chap who came to our office in Johannesburg. He was looking for work. Our MD was interested as he wanted someone who would clean the company cars we had so he decided to employ him. I was asked to get the forms from the local government office. This chap called Sam had no documentation of any kind but we filled in the form as best we could. I asked him his age and he told me "I have witnessed many of the Lord's sunrises but I don't know how many." Looking at the snow-white hair on his head I reckoned he was about 70 and I put it down as such. I asked him his surname and he told me "I have never needed or wanted one." Where were you born? "In a small village near the banks of the Zambesi." I knew this was going to be a long session. I told him we needed a surname so I jokingly asked him "We could call you Sam Zambesi." His crinkled face lit up and he laughed "Sam Zambesi. I like that." I sent the forms to the SA government and a couple of weeks later, a letter and document addressed to Mr. Sam Zambesi was delivered to our office. When I showed it to Sam he could not stop laughing and proudly displayed it in his outside office where he lovingly cleaned our cars and swept the parking lot and sang songs in those beautiful African tones. I learned much in the way of humility from Sam and
The meantime here is the news is very old and been told about Nigeria, S Africa, The Gambia etc. And has been doing the rounds since at least the 60's.
------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]
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Reminds me of the story of a racehorse whose name almost got through the vetting system for racehorse names - where horse names are checked both for originality and for possible problems when their names are pronounced quickly by the race commentators. Almost at the last minute the name was rejected. The name was "Norfolk and Chance"...
“That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.”
― Christopher Hitchens
:cool:
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The meantime here is the news is very old and been told about Nigeria, S Africa, The Gambia etc. And has been doing the rounds since at least the 60's.
------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]
Hi Dave, has example #5 in the OP, "Sam Zambezi," also been around ? I found it touching, but maybe it's because my caffeine level is not yet up to par to extinguish a slight slept-too-long "sappiness." best, Bill
"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it." Aristotle
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This afternoon I recalled some statements I read and heard in the past: 1. I once read the oft quoted "my wife doesn't understand me" and using a comma and question mark, it was changed to "my wife doesn't, understand me?" 2. I was in Bulawayo, Zimbabwe many years ago when I heard this one on the African BBC news broadcast from London. At the time signal pips, the newsreader meant to say "It's 8 o'clock Greenwich Mean Time. Here is the news." Instead he pronounced it "It's 8 o'clock Greenwich. Meantime, here is the news." 3. On South Africa's TV news sometime in the 90's the presenter's introductory headlines meant to say "Manchester Utd beat Chelsea 4-0 in the FA Cup final." The rather delightful black African accent changed the inflection when he said "Manchester Utd beat Chelsea 4-0 in the f*ckup Final." 4. When I did my military service in SA we had a particulary obnoxious and somewhat dim career platoon sargeant who often vented his halitosis at close range. We were doing some dull combat drill when he screamed at a mate of mine "I told you lot to spread out in a bunch." We all laughed our heads off. He laughed as well and then seriously asked "What are we laughing about?" 5. Years ago we had an elderly black african chap who came to our office in Johannesburg. He was looking for work. Our MD was interested as he wanted someone who would clean the company cars we had so he decided to employ him. I was asked to get the forms from the local government office. This chap called Sam had no documentation of any kind but we filled in the form as best we could. I asked him his age and he told me "I have witnessed many of the Lord's sunrises but I don't know how many." Looking at the snow-white hair on his head I reckoned he was about 70 and I put it down as such. I asked him his surname and he told me "I have never needed or wanted one." Where were you born? "In a small village near the banks of the Zambesi." I knew this was going to be a long session. I told him we needed a surname so I jokingly asked him "We could call you Sam Zambesi." His crinkled face lit up and he laughed "Sam Zambesi. I like that." I sent the forms to the SA government and a couple of weeks later, a letter and document addressed to Mr. Sam Zambesi was delivered to our office. When I showed it to Sam he could not stop laughing and proudly displayed it in his outside office where he lovingly cleaned our cars and swept the parking lot and sang songs in those beautiful African tones. I learned much in the way of humility from Sam and
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Hi Dave, has example #5 in the OP, "Sam Zambezi," also been around ? I found it touching, but maybe it's because my caffeine level is not yet up to par to extinguish a slight slept-too-long "sappiness." best, Bill
"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it." Aristotle
Bill, I'll accept my reference to the BBC one is flawed. I did hear it on the radio there (no TV in Zimbabwe or SA at that time) so perhaps it was on a comedy radio program as we used to get those broadcast quite often. I don't recall for sure. As for the African names there are many unusual ones: some we heard on SA TV in the mid-90s were "Wireless", "Two-Boy", "Try-Again". The current president of Nigeria is Goodluck Jonathan. Sam Zambesi was a remarkable man. He had travelled around South Africa and what was, Rhodesia (hence the Zambesi connection). He seemed the kind of chap who was as poor as a church mouse all his life but we never knew him to say a bad thing about his circumstances and I never heard him say anything ill about anyone. I used to have an old beaten-up Series 2 Land Rover which I kept at work. I never used it for a few months but week in, week out, Sam would wash it and keep it clean for me. We never knew where he lived and in the year or so he was with us he always seemed to be the first in each Monday morning. Many of us would slip him some extra money at the weekend to thank him for looking after our cars. Our firm eventually went under and when the MD told us about it, Sam just never came back the next day and that was the last we saw or heard of him. His life story was one of immense adventure, excitement as an itinerant worker and I'm sure hardship.
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This afternoon I recalled some statements I read and heard in the past: 1. I once read the oft quoted "my wife doesn't understand me" and using a comma and question mark, it was changed to "my wife doesn't, understand me?" 2. I was in Bulawayo, Zimbabwe many years ago when I heard this one on the African BBC news broadcast from London. At the time signal pips, the newsreader meant to say "It's 8 o'clock Greenwich Mean Time. Here is the news." Instead he pronounced it "It's 8 o'clock Greenwich. Meantime, here is the news." 3. On South Africa's TV news sometime in the 90's the presenter's introductory headlines meant to say "Manchester Utd beat Chelsea 4-0 in the FA Cup final." The rather delightful black African accent changed the inflection when he said "Manchester Utd beat Chelsea 4-0 in the f*ckup Final." 4. When I did my military service in SA we had a particulary obnoxious and somewhat dim career platoon sargeant who often vented his halitosis at close range. We were doing some dull combat drill when he screamed at a mate of mine "I told you lot to spread out in a bunch." We all laughed our heads off. He laughed as well and then seriously asked "What are we laughing about?" 5. Years ago we had an elderly black african chap who came to our office in Johannesburg. He was looking for work. Our MD was interested as he wanted someone who would clean the company cars we had so he decided to employ him. I was asked to get the forms from the local government office. This chap called Sam had no documentation of any kind but we filled in the form as best we could. I asked him his age and he told me "I have witnessed many of the Lord's sunrises but I don't know how many." Looking at the snow-white hair on his head I reckoned he was about 70 and I put it down as such. I asked him his surname and he told me "I have never needed or wanted one." Where were you born? "In a small village near the banks of the Zambesi." I knew this was going to be a long session. I told him we needed a surname so I jokingly asked him "We could call you Sam Zambesi." His crinkled face lit up and he laughed "Sam Zambesi. I like that." I sent the forms to the SA government and a couple of weeks later, a letter and document addressed to Mr. Sam Zambesi was delivered to our office. When I showed it to Sam he could not stop laughing and proudly displayed it in his outside office where he lovingly cleaned our cars and swept the parking lot and sang songs in those beautiful African tones. I learned much in the way of humility from Sam and
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"It's 8 o'clock Greenwich. Meantime, here is the news" If you've ever heard the Goon Show, the classic comedy radio show of the 1950's from the BBC with Peter Sellers, Spike Milligan and Harry Secombe, this particular quote was one of their favourites.
Chris, I think you've nailed it! Thanks for the reminder. We often heard the Goon Show on radio at that time. It was broadcast twice a week and we loved the subtle and often surreal humour. Taking the battleship across the desert and sailing Napoleon's piano across the English Channel (?) and the three of them crawling down a telescope because it was closer and it saved a long walk are some of the ones I now recall. Delightful stuff indeed and in later years it was sad to read how Spike Milligan became a deeply troubled and somewhat insane man.