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  4. Belligerent Panda

Belligerent Panda

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  • T Offline
    T Offline
    TinTinTiTin
    wrote on last edited by
    #1

    A Panda Bear walks into a café and orders a sandwich and a drink. After he is finished eating, the waiter comes over to bring him the check. When the waiter arrives at the table, he just starts to ask 'Would you like any des...' Then the Panda Bear reaches into his fur, pulls out a gun, and shoots the waiter dead. The Panda Bear then wipes off his chin with his napkin, gets up, and starts to walk out. Just as he is about to go through the door, the manager grabs him. 'Wait a minute!' he yells, 'You just killed my best waiter! Besides that, you didn't even pay for your sandwich!' The Panda Bear grasps the manager by the throat, jacks him up, and growls, 'Hey man! I'm a PANDA! Do you know what that means? Why don't you look it up!' At this the Panda walks out the door and ambles down the street. The manager, shaken, returns to his office and consults a dictionary. He reads: 'panda - a large mammal of the Asian mountain forests related to raccoons and true bears and characterized by bold black and white markings. Eats, shoots and leaves.'

    A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new -Einstein, Albert

    L 1 Reply Last reply
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    • T TinTinTiTin

      A Panda Bear walks into a café and orders a sandwich and a drink. After he is finished eating, the waiter comes over to bring him the check. When the waiter arrives at the table, he just starts to ask 'Would you like any des...' Then the Panda Bear reaches into his fur, pulls out a gun, and shoots the waiter dead. The Panda Bear then wipes off his chin with his napkin, gets up, and starts to walk out. Just as he is about to go through the door, the manager grabs him. 'Wait a minute!' he yells, 'You just killed my best waiter! Besides that, you didn't even pay for your sandwich!' The Panda Bear grasps the manager by the throat, jacks him up, and growls, 'Hey man! I'm a PANDA! Do you know what that means? Why don't you look it up!' At this the Panda walks out the door and ambles down the street. The manager, shaken, returns to his office and consults a dictionary. He reads: 'panda - a large mammal of the Asian mountain forests related to raccoons and true bears and characterized by bold black and white markings. Eats, shoots and leaves.'

      A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new -Einstein, Albert

      L Offline
      L Offline
      Lost User
      wrote on last edited by
      #2

      Sachin_coder wrote:

      Eats shoots and leaves

      And even copying it (goodness knows where from) you missed out the comma, which is the whole point of the story.

      Unrequited desire is character building. OriginalGriff I'm sitting here giving you a standing ovation - Len Goodman

      D P J 3 Replies Last reply
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      • L Lost User

        Sachin_coder wrote:

        Eats shoots and leaves

        And even copying it (goodness knows where from) you missed out the comma, which is the whole point of the story.

        Unrequited desire is character building. OriginalGriff I'm sitting here giving you a standing ovation - Len Goodman

        D Offline
        D Offline
        Dalek Dave
        wrote on last edited by
        #3

        5 for your ostentatious pointing out of his solecism.

        ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]

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        • L Lost User

          Sachin_coder wrote:

          Eats shoots and leaves

          And even copying it (goodness knows where from) you missed out the comma, which is the whole point of the story.

          Unrequited desire is character building. OriginalGriff I'm sitting here giving you a standing ovation - Len Goodman

          P Offline
          P Offline
          Pete OHanlon
          wrote on last edited by
          #4

          Sadly, he also missed out the much funnier version.

          Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads

          "Mind bleach! Send me mind bleach!" - Nagy Vilmos

          My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier - my favourite utility

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          • L Lost User

            Sachin_coder wrote:

            Eats shoots and leaves

            And even copying it (goodness knows where from) you missed out the comma, which is the whole point of the story.

            Unrequited desire is character building. OriginalGriff I'm sitting here giving you a standing ovation - Len Goodman

            J Offline
            J Offline
            Jorgen Andersson
            wrote on last edited by
            #5

            I've seen a slightly less KSS version involving male Australian sexual habits and Wombats.

            Light moves faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright, until you hear them speak. List of common misconceptions

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