DFJOTD
-
Yesterday, I was at my local pet store buying a large bag of dog chow for my dogs. I was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think, I had an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting The Dog Food Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was really a perfect diet and that the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with dog chow nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's butt and a car hit me.
CQ de W5ALT
Walt Fair, Jr., P. E. Comport Computing Specializing in Technical Engineering Software
A Poodle? A bloody Poodle! You have no taste. :laugh:
Henry Minute Girl: (staring) "Why do you need an icy cucumber?" “I want to report a fraud. The government is lying to us all.” I wouldn't let CG touch my Abacus! When you're wrestling a gorilla, you don't stop when you're tired, you stop when the gorilla is. Cogito ergo thumb - Sucking my thumb helps me to think.
-
Yesterday, I was at my local pet store buying a large bag of dog chow for my dogs. I was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think, I had an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting The Dog Food Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was really a perfect diet and that the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with dog chow nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's butt and a car hit me.
CQ de W5ALT
Walt Fair, Jr., P. E. Comport Computing Specializing in Technical Engineering Software
Walt Fair, Jr. wrote:
I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's butt and a car hit me.
Please say that this part is true. Please!* 5 * I mean that you told her this,not that you were knocked down
"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein
"As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error." - Weisert
"If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010
-
Yesterday, I was at my local pet store buying a large bag of dog chow for my dogs. I was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think, I had an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting The Dog Food Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was really a perfect diet and that the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with dog chow nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's butt and a car hit me.
CQ de W5ALT
Walt Fair, Jr., P. E. Comport Computing Specializing in Technical Engineering Software
Walt Fair, Jr. wrote:
What did she think, I had an elephant?
Why are you swearing?
*pre-emptive celebratory nipple tassle jiggle* - Sean Ewington
"Mind bleach! Send me mind bleach!" - Nagy Vilmos
My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier - my favourite utility
-
Walt Fair, Jr. wrote:
I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's butt and a car hit me.
Please say that this part is true. Please!* 5 * I mean that you told her this,not that you were knocked down
"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein
"As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error." - Weisert
"If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010
-
Yesterday, I was at my local pet store buying a large bag of dog chow for my dogs. I was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think, I had an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting The Dog Food Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was really a perfect diet and that the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with dog chow nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's butt and a car hit me.
CQ de W5ALT
Walt Fair, Jr., P. E. Comport Computing Specializing in Technical Engineering Software
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: I can't believe I've not heard this one, but this is funny. The punch line was completely unexpected. :)
Chris Meech I am Canadian. [heard in a local bar] In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is. [Yogi Berra] posting about Crystal Reports here is like discussing gay marriage on a catholic church’s website.[Nishant Sivakumar]
-
Walt Fair, Jr. wrote:
I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's butt and a car hit me.
Please say that this part is true. Please!* 5 * I mean that you told her this,not that you were knocked down
"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein
"As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error." - Weisert
"If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010
When I first heard it the punch line was amongs the lines: “And I was sitting on the street, trying to lick my balls, when this car hit me”
There is only one Vera Farmiga and Salma Hayek is her prophet! Advertise here – minimum three posts per day are guaranteed.
-
Yesterday, I was at my local pet store buying a large bag of dog chow for my dogs. I was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think, I had an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting The Dog Food Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was really a perfect diet and that the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with dog chow nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's butt and a car hit me.
CQ de W5ALT
Walt Fair, Jr., P. E. Comport Computing Specializing in Technical Engineering Software
Not heard that before: very good! :thumbsup:
"If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair. nils illegitimus carborundum me, me, me
-
When I first heard it the punch line was amongs the lines: “And I was sitting on the street, trying to lick my balls, when this car hit me”
There is only one Vera Farmiga and Salma Hayek is her prophet! Advertise here – minimum three posts per day are guaranteed.
yup, thats the punch-line I was thinking of :laugh:
-
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: I can't believe I've not heard this one, but this is funny. The punch line was completely unexpected. :)
Chris Meech I am Canadian. [heard in a local bar] In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is. [Yogi Berra] posting about Crystal Reports here is like discussing gay marriage on a catholic church’s website.[Nishant Sivakumar]
good grief - where have you been living ? - it was originally about a little old lady buying dog-food in a supermarket - when she stops buying it she's asked why .. well, her husband died - not from eating the dogfood, but the slightly funnier punch-line 'licking ...' 'g'
-
Yesterday, I was at my local pet store buying a large bag of dog chow for my dogs. I was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think, I had an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting The Dog Food Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was really a perfect diet and that the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with dog chow nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's butt and a car hit me.
CQ de W5ALT
Walt Fair, Jr., P. E. Comport Computing Specializing in Technical Engineering Software
When we were 18 or so, a good friend of mine, after a night out with me and the boys and a bottle of vodka or so in his stomach has finally got home hungry as a tiger. Then he has opened the fridge and the first thing he’d saw was a big long fat salami. As he told us latter the salami has been a little saltless but he was so hungry that has eaten most of it. Later this morning when he’s opened the fridge for a breakfast he’d found the remains of the salami firmly wrapped with a packaging paper with a note on the paper with his fader’s hand writing: “CAT FOOD!!!!!” Edit: typos
There is only one Vera Farmiga and Salma Hayek is her prophet! Advertise here – minimum three posts per day are guaranteed.
-
When we were 18 or so, a good friend of mine, after a night out with me and the boys and a bottle of vodka or so in his stomach has finally got home hungry as a tiger. Then he has opened the fridge and the first thing he’d saw was a big long fat salami. As he told us latter the salami has been a little saltless but he was so hungry that has eaten most of it. Later this morning when he’s opened the fridge for a breakfast he’d found the remains of the salami firmly wrapped with a packaging paper with a note on the paper with his fader’s hand writing: “CAT FOOD!!!!!” Edit: typos
There is only one Vera Farmiga and Salma Hayek is her prophet! Advertise here – minimum three posts per day are guaranteed.
:(( :~ X| ;P :laugh: :thumbsup:
CQ de W5ALT
Walt Fair, Jr., P. E. Comport Computing Specializing in Technical Engineering Software
-
Walt Fair, Jr. wrote:
What did she think, I had an elephant?
Why are you swearing?
*pre-emptive celebratory nipple tassle jiggle* - Sean Ewington
"Mind bleach! Send me mind bleach!" - Nagy Vilmos
My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier - my favourite utility
WTT? * * What The Tr*nk
MVVM# - See how I did MVVM my way ___________________________________________ Man, you're a god. - walterhevedeich 26/05/2011 .\\axxx (That's an 'M')
-
Yesterday, I was at my local pet store buying a large bag of dog chow for my dogs. I was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think, I had an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting The Dog Food Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was really a perfect diet and that the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with dog chow nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's butt and a car hit me.
CQ de W5ALT
Walt Fair, Jr., P. E. Comport Computing Specializing in Technical Engineering Software
LMFAO!!! I seriously almost just died from laughing! If this is true your sir are my hero. :laugh:
-
LMFAO!!! I seriously almost just died from laughing! If this is true your sir are my hero. :laugh:
That is something I would probably do if given the chance, but sadly, no it's just a joke.
CQ de W5ALT
Walt Fair, Jr., P. E. Comport Computing Specializing in Technical Engineering Software
-
That is something I would probably do if given the chance, but sadly, no it's just a joke.
CQ de W5ALT
Walt Fair, Jr., P. E. Comport Computing Specializing in Technical Engineering Software
Brilliant all the same, I visualised every moment of it until I spat tea all over the monitor. :laugh:
Unrequited desire is character building. OriginalGriff I'm sitting here giving you a standing ovation - Len Goodman
-
A Poodle? A bloody Poodle! You have no taste. :laugh:
Henry Minute Girl: (staring) "Why do you need an icy cucumber?" “I want to report a fraud. The government is lying to us all.” I wouldn't let CG touch my Abacus! When you're wrestling a gorilla, you don't stop when you're tired, you stop when the gorilla is. Cogito ergo thumb - Sucking my thumb helps me to think.
-
Yesterday, I was at my local pet store buying a large bag of dog chow for my dogs. I was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think, I had an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting The Dog Food Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was really a perfect diet and that the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with dog chow nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's butt and a car hit me.
CQ de W5ALT
Walt Fair, Jr., P. E. Comport Computing Specializing in Technical Engineering Software
-
Dog Food
CQ de W5ALT
Walt Fair, Jr., P. E. Comport Computing Specializing in Technical Engineering Software