The four lusers of the apocalypse
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- Advertising 1) Can't log in 2) Power switch 3) What backup?
Did you ever see history portrayed as an old man with a wise brow and pulseless heart, waging all things in the balance of reason? Is not rather the genius of history like an eternal, imploring maiden, full of fire, with a burning heart and flaming soul, humanly warm and humanly beautiful? --Zachris Topelius Training a telescope on one’s own belly button will only reveal lint. You like that? You go right on staring at it. I prefer looking at galaxies. -- Sarah Hoyt
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- Advertising 1) Can't log in 2) Power switch 3) What backup?
Did you ever see history portrayed as an old man with a wise brow and pulseless heart, waging all things in the balance of reason? Is not rather the genius of history like an eternal, imploring maiden, full of fire, with a burning heart and flaming soul, humanly warm and humanly beautiful? --Zachris Topelius Training a telescope on one’s own belly button will only reveal lint. You like that? You go right on staring at it. I prefer looking at galaxies. -- Sarah Hoyt
I knew a customer service rep who connected her DIN 5 keyboard plug to her computer's BNC network jack. Does that count?
m.bergman
For Bruce Schneier, quanta only have one state : afraid.
To succeed in the world it is not enough to be stupid, you must also be well-mannered. -- Voltaire
Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense. -- Steve Landesberg
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- Advertising 1) Can't log in 2) Power switch 3) What backup?
Did you ever see history portrayed as an old man with a wise brow and pulseless heart, waging all things in the balance of reason? Is not rather the genius of history like an eternal, imploring maiden, full of fire, with a burning heart and flaming soul, humanly warm and humanly beautiful? --Zachris Topelius Training a telescope on one’s own belly button will only reveal lint. You like that? You go right on staring at it. I prefer looking at galaxies. -- Sarah Hoyt
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Your list is a little bit off... should start at 1)... with "Know VBA" ;P No offense on the VBA-Folk ;)
(yes|no|maybe)*
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- Advertising 1) Can't log in 2) Power switch 3) What backup?
Did you ever see history portrayed as an old man with a wise brow and pulseless heart, waging all things in the balance of reason? Is not rather the genius of history like an eternal, imploring maiden, full of fire, with a burning heart and flaming soul, humanly warm and humanly beautiful? --Zachris Topelius Training a telescope on one’s own belly button will only reveal lint. You like that? You go right on staring at it. I prefer looking at galaxies. -- Sarah Hoyt
You remember that story about the luser that was trying to use their machine in the power cut (the HP techhie replied "Pack the machine back into the box and return it as you are too elephanting stupid to use it")? I almost lost a job because of it, and someone in need of a LART. About a week after the joke it hit our office I took a support call about a machine that "wasn't working". 15mins to-ing and fro-ing, asking about lights and cables etc when finally I asked the user to plug in a desklamp into the wall directly and she said "I don't think that will work" when I asked why not "because we are having a power cut." I thought it was the [only] female member of IT staff pulling a joke (there was laughter coming from the office she shared) and was about to utter the punchline when she walked through back to her office. When I asked the user how she thought the machine would work without electricity she said "I just thought I'd make you aware". When? After 15 mins? :wtf: She'd obviously realised how stupid she'd been an hung up after she said it. I'm now left with an anecdote I can't tell. Half of people (non-IT) don't believe users can be that stupid, the other (IT) half just assume I'm lying as the heard the joke first. My guess is it actually happenened to someone in HP too.
Sort of a cross between Lawrence of Arabia and Dilbert.[^]
-Or-
A Dead ringer for Kate Winslett[^] -
You remember that story about the luser that was trying to use their machine in the power cut (the HP techhie replied "Pack the machine back into the box and return it as you are too elephanting stupid to use it")? I almost lost a job because of it, and someone in need of a LART. About a week after the joke it hit our office I took a support call about a machine that "wasn't working". 15mins to-ing and fro-ing, asking about lights and cables etc when finally I asked the user to plug in a desklamp into the wall directly and she said "I don't think that will work" when I asked why not "because we are having a power cut." I thought it was the [only] female member of IT staff pulling a joke (there was laughter coming from the office she shared) and was about to utter the punchline when she walked through back to her office. When I asked the user how she thought the machine would work without electricity she said "I just thought I'd make you aware". When? After 15 mins? :wtf: She'd obviously realised how stupid she'd been an hung up after she said it. I'm now left with an anecdote I can't tell. Half of people (non-IT) don't believe users can be that stupid, the other (IT) half just assume I'm lying as the heard the joke first. My guess is it actually happenened to someone in HP too.
Sort of a cross between Lawrence of Arabia and Dilbert.[^]
-Or-
A Dead ringer for Kate Winslett[^]A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away I sold Kirby cleaners (not exactly for a living). These jumped up vacuum cleaners had a light on the front. Anyone asking what the light was for was given the standard answer "so you can see where to vacuum if there is a power cut". Hardly any of the victims customers questioned the answer with many saying what a good idea it was. A large percentage of the human race are incapable of joined up thinking.
Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends.
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A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away I sold Kirby cleaners (not exactly for a living). These jumped up vacuum cleaners had a light on the front. Anyone asking what the light was for was given the standard answer "so you can see where to vacuum if there is a power cut". Hardly any of the victims customers questioned the answer with many saying what a good idea it was. A large percentage of the human race are incapable of joined up thinking.
Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends.
Wow, just wow!
Sort of a cross between Lawrence of Arabia and Dilbert.[^]
-Or-
A Dead ringer for Kate Winslett[^]