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The circle of total corporate awesomeness

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  • B BillWoodruff

    Hi Josh, What a wonderful brief essay that communicates, literally, and "literarily," so much of the "gestalt" of your work-place. I found myself wishing I had written this myself in my on-going novel based on my experience at my last full-time gig for a game-platform development (built on top of DirectX) company that shall remains nameless, but was truly a combination of circus, revival meeting, and mental hospital. But, "creative honor" forbids me to ever use your words ! :) best, Bill

    "Every two days we create as much information as we did from the dawn of civilization up until 2003". Eric Schmidt of Google.

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    Lost User
    wrote on last edited by
    #7

    Bill, I'd be honoured if you even so much as took minor inspiration from my ramblings, in fact it'd be awesome

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    • L Lost User

      The company I work for has seen a big 'cultural change' over the last couple of years instigated mainly by the HR department. One of the things that is now valued almost more than anything else is positiveness. EVERYTHING here is awesome now, the company, the work, the technology, the management, my 4 year old PC, etc etc. Meetings are elephanting funny as we all sit there knowing the project is not going well and way behind schedule but we all tell each other and the management how well it's going and no one is game to ask difficult questions for fear of being seen to be less than positive. Everyone is now happy simply because everyone is told by everyone else that everything is awesome. My only fear is that we'll all end up with our heads stuck so far into the sand that we wont be able to hear each other say how awesome we are and everything we do is and that that would somehow make things less awesome. This can only end well for all involved.

      L Offline
      L Offline
      Lost User
      wrote on last edited by
      #8

      _Josh_ wrote:

      The company I work for has seen a big 'cultural change' over the last couple of years instigated mainly by the HR department. One of the things that is now valued almost more than anything else is positiveness. EVERYTHING here is awesome now, the company, the work, the technology, the management, my 4 year old PC, etc etc. Meetings are elephanting funny as we all sit there knowing the project is not going well and way behind schedule but we all tell each other and the management how well it's going and no one is game to ask difficult questions for fear of being seen to be less than positive. Everyone is now happy simply because everyone is told by everyone else that everything is awesome. My only fear is that we'll all end up with our heads stuck so far into the sand that we wont be able to hear each other say how awesome we are and everything we do is and that that would osmehow make things less awesome. This can only end well for all involved.

      Hire me as a consultant, I'll only need half a day, will straighten them out and won't fear for my job as I was only a consultant.

      Michael Martin Australia "I controlled my laughter and simple said "No,I am very busy,so I can't write any code for you". The moment they heard this all the smiling face turned into a sad looking face and one of them farted. So I had to leave the place as soon as possible." - Mr.Prakash One Fine Saturday. 24/04/2004

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      • L Lost User

        The company I work for has seen a big 'cultural change' over the last couple of years instigated mainly by the HR department. One of the things that is now valued almost more than anything else is positiveness. EVERYTHING here is awesome now, the company, the work, the technology, the management, my 4 year old PC, etc etc. Meetings are elephanting funny as we all sit there knowing the project is not going well and way behind schedule but we all tell each other and the management how well it's going and no one is game to ask difficult questions for fear of being seen to be less than positive. Everyone is now happy simply because everyone is told by everyone else that everything is awesome. My only fear is that we'll all end up with our heads stuck so far into the sand that we wont be able to hear each other say how awesome we are and everything we do is and that that would somehow make things less awesome. This can only end well for all involved.

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        PIEBALDconsult
        wrote on last edited by
        #9

        Sounds like they need an electric monk.

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        • L Lost User

          pwasser wrote:

          Middle-management full of hopeless people whose only contribution was lots of "awesomes" or whatever the going term was in those days.

          Yep, we've expanded and taken on a whole new level of middle management - people mostly from outside the company with little to offer other than 'management experience'. But we're agile now and agile is, by definition, awesome.

          pwasser wrote:

          Company long gone - unfortunately - because these people took the poor bugger who was bankrolling the place to the cleaners.

          Fortunately we make enough money to continuing being completely awesome for a very long time

          L Offline
          L Offline
          Lost User
          wrote on last edited by
          #10

          _Josh_ wrote:

          But we're agile now and agile is, by definition, awesome.

          Does Barney Stinson work there?

          Michael Martin Australia "I controlled my laughter and simple said "No,I am very busy,so I can't write any code for you". The moment they heard this all the smiling face turned into a sad looking face and one of them farted. So I had to leave the place as soon as possible." - Mr.Prakash One Fine Saturday. 24/04/2004

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          • L Lost User

            The company I work for has seen a big 'cultural change' over the last couple of years instigated mainly by the HR department. One of the things that is now valued almost more than anything else is positiveness. EVERYTHING here is awesome now, the company, the work, the technology, the management, my 4 year old PC, etc etc. Meetings are elephanting funny as we all sit there knowing the project is not going well and way behind schedule but we all tell each other and the management how well it's going and no one is game to ask difficult questions for fear of being seen to be less than positive. Everyone is now happy simply because everyone is told by everyone else that everything is awesome. My only fear is that we'll all end up with our heads stuck so far into the sand that we wont be able to hear each other say how awesome we are and everything we do is and that that would somehow make things less awesome. This can only end well for all involved.

            Mike HankeyM Offline
            Mike HankeyM Offline
            Mike Hankey
            wrote on last edited by
            #11

            Awesome! :)

            VS2010/Atmel Studio 6.0 ToDo Manager Extension

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            • L Lost User

              _Josh_ wrote:

              The company I work for has seen a big 'cultural change' over the last couple of years instigated mainly by the HR department. One of the things that is now valued almost more than anything else is positiveness. EVERYTHING here is awesome now, the company, the work, the technology, the management, my 4 year old PC, etc etc. Meetings are elephanting funny as we all sit there knowing the project is not going well and way behind schedule but we all tell each other and the management how well it's going and no one is game to ask difficult questions for fear of being seen to be less than positive. Everyone is now happy simply because everyone is told by everyone else that everything is awesome. My only fear is that we'll all end up with our heads stuck so far into the sand that we wont be able to hear each other say how awesome we are and everything we do is and that that would osmehow make things less awesome. This can only end well for all involved.

              Hire me as a consultant, I'll only need half a day, will straighten them out and won't fear for my job as I was only a consultant.

              Michael Martin Australia "I controlled my laughter and simple said "No,I am very busy,so I can't write any code for you". The moment they heard this all the smiling face turned into a sad looking face and one of them farted. So I had to leave the place as soon as possible." - Mr.Prakash One Fine Saturday. 24/04/2004

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              Lost User
              wrote on last edited by
              #12

              But if you're not positive then we would have to consider you a less than awesome consultant and make the only positive move available - to fire you!

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              • L Lost User

                But if you're not positive then we would have to consider you a less than awesome consultant and make the only positive move available - to fire you!

                L Offline
                L Offline
                Lost User
                wrote on last edited by
                #13

                _Josh_ wrote:

                But if you're not positive then we would have to consider you a less than awesome consultant and make the only positive move available - to fire you!

                What if I stick the positive end of a AA battery up my arse, will I be positive enough then?

                Michael Martin Australia "I controlled my laughter and simple said "No,I am very busy,so I can't write any code for you". The moment they heard this all the smiling face turned into a sad looking face and one of them farted. So I had to leave the place as soon as possible." - Mr.Prakash One Fine Saturday. 24/04/2004

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                • L Lost User

                  _Josh_ wrote:

                  But if you're not positive then we would have to consider you a less than awesome consultant and make the only positive move available - to fire you!

                  What if I stick the positive end of a AA battery up my arse, will I be positive enough then?

                  Michael Martin Australia "I controlled my laughter and simple said "No,I am very busy,so I can't write any code for you". The moment they heard this all the smiling face turned into a sad looking face and one of them farted. So I had to leave the place as soon as possible." - Mr.Prakash One Fine Saturday. 24/04/2004

                  L Offline
                  L Offline
                  Lost User
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #14

                  Michael Martin wrote:

                  What if I stick the positive end of a AA battery up my arse, will I be positive enough then?

                  Only if you also earth your nads.

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                  • L Lost User

                    pwasser wrote:

                    Middle-management full of hopeless people whose only contribution was lots of "awesomes" or whatever the going term was in those days.

                    Yep, we've expanded and taken on a whole new level of middle management - people mostly from outside the company with little to offer other than 'management experience'. But we're agile now and agile is, by definition, awesome.

                    pwasser wrote:

                    Company long gone - unfortunately - because these people took the poor bugger who was bankrolling the place to the cleaners.

                    Fortunately we make enough money to continuing being completely awesome for a very long time

                    L Offline
                    L Offline
                    Lost User
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #15

                    _Josh_ wrote:

                    people mostly from outside the company with little to offer other than 'management experience'

                    You have again reminded me of my time back then. The philosophy was that one did not have to know the industry or be technical - in fact that was a disadvantage - one had to know how to "manage". That was of course as simple as "awesome". The chief proponent of all this bs was ... you guessed it .... the HR manager btw great post.

                    Peter Wasser Art is making something out of nothing and selling it. Frank Zappa

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                    • L Lost User

                      The company I work for has seen a big 'cultural change' over the last couple of years instigated mainly by the HR department. One of the things that is now valued almost more than anything else is positiveness. EVERYTHING here is awesome now, the company, the work, the technology, the management, my 4 year old PC, etc etc. Meetings are elephanting funny as we all sit there knowing the project is not going well and way behind schedule but we all tell each other and the management how well it's going and no one is game to ask difficult questions for fear of being seen to be less than positive. Everyone is now happy simply because everyone is told by everyone else that everything is awesome. My only fear is that we'll all end up with our heads stuck so far into the sand that we wont be able to hear each other say how awesome we are and everything we do is and that that would somehow make things less awesome. This can only end well for all involved.

                      L Offline
                      L Offline
                      Lost User
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #16

                      _Josh_ wrote:

                      the project is not going well and way behind schedule

                      _Josh_ wrote:

                      Everyone is now happy

                      Except your customers (understandably) :-)

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                      • L Lost User

                        _Josh_ wrote:

                        the project is not going well and way behind schedule

                        _Josh_ wrote:

                        Everyone is now happy

                        Except your customers (understandably) :-)

                        L Offline
                        L Offline
                        Lost User
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #17

                        Shameel wrote:

                        Except your customers (understandably) :)

                        No no no we are our own customer and we think we're awesome!

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                        • L Lost User

                          Shameel wrote:

                          Except your customers (understandably) :)

                          No no no we are our own customer and we think we're awesome!

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                          Lost User
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #18

                          _Josh_ wrote:

                          we think

                          When you're your own customer, your thinking may not necessarily align with facts.

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                          • L Lost User

                            The company I work for has seen a big 'cultural change' over the last couple of years instigated mainly by the HR department. One of the things that is now valued almost more than anything else is positiveness. EVERYTHING here is awesome now, the company, the work, the technology, the management, my 4 year old PC, etc etc. Meetings are elephanting funny as we all sit there knowing the project is not going well and way behind schedule but we all tell each other and the management how well it's going and no one is game to ask difficult questions for fear of being seen to be less than positive. Everyone is now happy simply because everyone is told by everyone else that everything is awesome. My only fear is that we'll all end up with our heads stuck so far into the sand that we wont be able to hear each other say how awesome we are and everything we do is and that that would somehow make things less awesome. This can only end well for all involved.

                            B Offline
                            B Offline
                            bryce
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #19

                            which company is this then? bryce

                            MCAD --- To paraphrase Fred Dagg - the views expressed in this post are bloody good ones. --
                            Our kids books :The Snot Goblin, and Book 2 - the Snotgoblin and Fluff The Snotgoblin for the Ipad

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                            • L Lost User

                              The company I work for has seen a big 'cultural change' over the last couple of years instigated mainly by the HR department. One of the things that is now valued almost more than anything else is positiveness. EVERYTHING here is awesome now, the company, the work, the technology, the management, my 4 year old PC, etc etc. Meetings are elephanting funny as we all sit there knowing the project is not going well and way behind schedule but we all tell each other and the management how well it's going and no one is game to ask difficult questions for fear of being seen to be less than positive. Everyone is now happy simply because everyone is told by everyone else that everything is awesome. My only fear is that we'll all end up with our heads stuck so far into the sand that we wont be able to hear each other say how awesome we are and everything we do is and that that would somehow make things less awesome. This can only end well for all involved.

                              V Offline
                              V Offline
                              Vivi Chellappa
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #20

                              _Josh_ wrote:

                              My only fear is that we'll all end up with our heads stuck so far into the sand

                              Better that your heads are stuck in sand. The smell is not so good when stuck up your -- or, each other's -- arse!

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                              • B bryce

                                which company is this then? bryce

                                MCAD --- To paraphrase Fred Dagg - the views expressed in this post are bloody good ones. --
                                Our kids books :The Snot Goblin, and Book 2 - the Snotgoblin and Fluff The Snotgoblin for the Ipad

                                L Offline
                                L Offline
                                Lost User
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #21

                                bryce wrote:

                                which company is this then?

                                The most awesome company ever!

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                                • L Lost User

                                  _Josh_ wrote:

                                  But we're agile now and agile is, by definition, awesome.

                                  Does Barney Stinson work there?

                                  Michael Martin Australia "I controlled my laughter and simple said "No,I am very busy,so I can't write any code for you". The moment they heard this all the smiling face turned into a sad looking face and one of them farted. So I had to leave the place as soon as possible." - Mr.Prakash One Fine Saturday. 24/04/2004

                                  J Offline
                                  J Offline
                                  JacquesDP
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #22

                                  That would just be legen......wait for it and I hope you're not lactose intolerant...diary

                                  No matter how long he who laughs last laughs, he who laughs first has a head start!

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                                  0
                                  • L Lost User

                                    pwasser wrote:

                                    Middle-management full of hopeless people whose only contribution was lots of "awesomes" or whatever the going term was in those days.

                                    Yep, we've expanded and taken on a whole new level of middle management - people mostly from outside the company with little to offer other than 'management experience'. But we're agile now and agile is, by definition, awesome.

                                    pwasser wrote:

                                    Company long gone - unfortunately - because these people took the poor bugger who was bankrolling the place to the cleaners.

                                    Fortunately we make enough money to continuing being completely awesome for a very long time

                                    G Offline
                                    G Offline
                                    GenJerDan
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #23

                                    _Josh_ wrote:

                                    But we're agile now and agile is, by definition, awesome.

                                    Well, it makes you look like you're always doing something, right? How could that be bad? "Try this." "Nope. Don't like it." "How about now?" "A little better, but not quite what we're looking for." "OK. Is this better?" "Closer. Keep trying." "Ta-da! This one'll wow you!" "Nah. I liked the first one better."

                                    No dogs or cats are in the classroom. My Mu[sic] My Films My Windows Programs, etc.

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                                    • L Lost User

                                      The company I work for has seen a big 'cultural change' over the last couple of years instigated mainly by the HR department. One of the things that is now valued almost more than anything else is positiveness. EVERYTHING here is awesome now, the company, the work, the technology, the management, my 4 year old PC, etc etc. Meetings are elephanting funny as we all sit there knowing the project is not going well and way behind schedule but we all tell each other and the management how well it's going and no one is game to ask difficult questions for fear of being seen to be less than positive. Everyone is now happy simply because everyone is told by everyone else that everything is awesome. My only fear is that we'll all end up with our heads stuck so far into the sand that we wont be able to hear each other say how awesome we are and everything we do is and that that would somehow make things less awesome. This can only end well for all involved.

                                      X Offline
                                      X Offline
                                      xperroni
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #24

                                      Does this remind anyone else of the tabletop RPG Paranoia? YOU ARE IN ERROR. NO ONE IS SCREAMING. THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION. The Computer is happy. The Computer is crazy. The Computer will help you become happy. This will drive you crazy. Being a citizen of Alpha Complex is fun. The Computer says so, and The Computer is your friend. Many traitors threaten Alpha Complex. Many happy citizens live in Alpha Complex. Most happy citizens are crazy. Which are more dangerous traitors or happy citizens? Rooting out traitors will make you happy. The Computer tells you so. If you are not happy, The Computer will use you as reactor shielding. Being a Troubleshooter is fun. The Computer tells you so. Do you doubt The Computer, citizen? Troubleshooters get shot at, stabbed, mangled, incinerated, poisoned, stapled, blown to bits and accidentally executed. This is so much fun many Troubleshooters go crazy. You work with many Troubleshooters. They all carry lasers. Aren t you glad you have a laser too? Won t this be fun? Ring any bells?

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                                      • L Lost User

                                        The company I work for has seen a big 'cultural change' over the last couple of years instigated mainly by the HR department. One of the things that is now valued almost more than anything else is positiveness. EVERYTHING here is awesome now, the company, the work, the technology, the management, my 4 year old PC, etc etc. Meetings are elephanting funny as we all sit there knowing the project is not going well and way behind schedule but we all tell each other and the management how well it's going and no one is game to ask difficult questions for fear of being seen to be less than positive. Everyone is now happy simply because everyone is told by everyone else that everything is awesome. My only fear is that we'll all end up with our heads stuck so far into the sand that we wont be able to hear each other say how awesome we are and everything we do is and that that would somehow make things less awesome. This can only end well for all involved.

                                        G Offline
                                        G Offline
                                        Gary Wheeler
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #25

                                        Hmm. I might actually enjoy that for a change. I work for <redacted>red-and-gold-flag-former-film-company-who-filed-chapter-11</redacted>, and morale is really low. It's a great big ball of suck at the moment.

                                        Software Zen: delete this;

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                                        • L Lost User

                                          The company I work for has seen a big 'cultural change' over the last couple of years instigated mainly by the HR department. One of the things that is now valued almost more than anything else is positiveness. EVERYTHING here is awesome now, the company, the work, the technology, the management, my 4 year old PC, etc etc. Meetings are elephanting funny as we all sit there knowing the project is not going well and way behind schedule but we all tell each other and the management how well it's going and no one is game to ask difficult questions for fear of being seen to be less than positive. Everyone is now happy simply because everyone is told by everyone else that everything is awesome. My only fear is that we'll all end up with our heads stuck so far into the sand that we wont be able to hear each other say how awesome we are and everything we do is and that that would somehow make things less awesome. This can only end well for all involved.

                                          D Offline
                                          D Offline
                                          DMPF
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #26

                                          Ask your company to hire the iraqi propaganda minister

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