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Jesus Christ

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved The Lounge
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  • K kid sister

    A Sunday School teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that He grew up, etc. So he asked his class, "Where is Jesus today?" Steven raised his hand and said, "He's in Heaven." Mary was called on and answered, "He's in my heart." Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, "I know! I know! He's in our bathroom!!!" The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a response. The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds. He finally gathered his wits and asked Little Johnny how he knew this. And Little Johnny said, "Well...every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells 'Jesus Christ, are you still in there?'!"

    xoxo
    Kid sister :rose: There's no place like Lounge - Me

    R Offline
    R Offline
    R Giskard Reventlov
    wrote on last edited by
    #2

    I gave you a 5, not because the joke is good (it's very, very old) but because it's bound to get down-voted.

    "If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair. nils illegitimus carborundum me, me, me

    K E 2 Replies Last reply
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    • K kid sister

      A Sunday School teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that He grew up, etc. So he asked his class, "Where is Jesus today?" Steven raised his hand and said, "He's in Heaven." Mary was called on and answered, "He's in my heart." Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, "I know! I know! He's in our bathroom!!!" The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a response. The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds. He finally gathered his wits and asked Little Johnny how he knew this. And Little Johnny said, "Well...every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells 'Jesus Christ, are you still in there?'!"

      xoxo
      Kid sister :rose: There's no place like Lounge - Me

      W Offline
      W Offline
      wizardzz
      wrote on last edited by
      #3

      I reaaaally thought this one was going to take a racial turn.

      "I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours. " — Hunter S. Thompson

      L 1 Reply Last reply
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      • K kid sister

        A Sunday School teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that He grew up, etc. So he asked his class, "Where is Jesus today?" Steven raised his hand and said, "He's in Heaven." Mary was called on and answered, "He's in my heart." Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, "I know! I know! He's in our bathroom!!!" The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a response. The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds. He finally gathered his wits and asked Little Johnny how he knew this. And Little Johnny said, "Well...every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells 'Jesus Christ, are you still in there?'!"

        xoxo
        Kid sister :rose: There's no place like Lounge - Me

        Mike HankeyM Offline
        Mike HankeyM Offline
        Mike Hankey
        wrote on last edited by
        #4

        My son thought his name was Jesus Christ until he was around 13, then it was WTF?

        VS2010/Atmel Studio 6.0 ToDo Manager Extension
        Version 3.0 now available.

        L 1 Reply Last reply
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        • R R Giskard Reventlov

          I gave you a 5, not because the joke is good (it's very, very old) but because it's bound to get down-voted.

          "If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair. nils illegitimus carborundum me, me, me

          K Offline
          K Offline
          kid sister
          wrote on last edited by
          #5

          mark merrens wrote:

          I gave you a 5, not because the joke is good (it's very, very old) but because it's bound to get down-voted.

          Thank you. After all I'm just a kid so most of jokes looks like new to me. I do use CP search(to confirm not repost) after joker's advice. BTW here another joke for you all

          :rose::rose::rose:

          A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl's grandmother. On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked, "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?" "Of course not, dear." replied the mother, "Why would you think that?" "The tombstone back there said 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'"

          xoxo
          Kid sister :rose: There's no place like Lounge - Me

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          • Mike HankeyM Mike Hankey

            My son thought his name was Jesus Christ until he was around 13, then it was WTF?

            VS2010/Atmel Studio 6.0 ToDo Manager Extension
            Version 3.0 now available.

            L Offline
            L Offline
            loctrice
            wrote on last edited by
            #6

            Until last year I had my daughter absolutely convinced that if I unscrewed her belly button her legs would fall off. Now it's that chocolate milk comes from brown cows (she thought that one up) so when she asked where strawberry milk comes from, I told her they had to dye the cows hair :D

            If it moves, compile it

            Mike HankeyM K 2 Replies Last reply
            0
            • W wizardzz

              I reaaaally thought this one was going to take a racial turn.

              "I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours. " — Hunter S. Thompson

              L Offline
              L Offline
              lewax00
              wrote on last edited by
              #7

              Then he would have said garden or lawn not bathroom... ;P

              W 1 Reply Last reply
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              • L lewax00

                Then he would have said garden or lawn not bathroom... ;P

                W Offline
                W Offline
                wizardzz
                wrote on last edited by
                #8

                ... or Home Depot parking lot or restaurant kitchen or soccer field, if they were trying to be racist of course.

                "I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours. " — Hunter S. Thompson

                1 Reply Last reply
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                • L loctrice

                  Until last year I had my daughter absolutely convinced that if I unscrewed her belly button her legs would fall off. Now it's that chocolate milk comes from brown cows (she thought that one up) so when she asked where strawberry milk comes from, I told her they had to dye the cows hair :D

                  If it moves, compile it

                  Mike HankeyM Offline
                  Mike HankeyM Offline
                  Mike Hankey
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #9

                  loctrice wrote:

                  Until last year I had my daughter absolutely convinced that if I unscrewed her belly button her legs would fall off.

                  :laugh: Never heard that one.

                  VS2010/Atmel Studio 6.0 ToDo Manager Extension
                  Version 3.0 now available.

                  1 Reply Last reply
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                  • K kid sister

                    mark merrens wrote:

                    I gave you a 5, not because the joke is good (it's very, very old) but because it's bound to get down-voted.

                    Thank you. After all I'm just a kid so most of jokes looks like new to me. I do use CP search(to confirm not repost) after joker's advice. BTW here another joke for you all

                    :rose::rose::rose:

                    A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl's grandmother. On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked, "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?" "Of course not, dear." replied the mother, "Why would you think that?" "The tombstone back there said 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'"

                    xoxo
                    Kid sister :rose: There's no place like Lounge - Me

                    E Offline
                    E Offline
                    Espen Harlinn
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #10

                    kid sister wrote:

                    most of jokes looks like new to me

                    :thumbsup: I'd rather laugh at an old joke than groan at a 'new' one

                    Espen Harlinn Principal Architect, Software - Goodtech Projects & Services AS My LinkedIn Profile

                    1 Reply Last reply
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                    • R R Giskard Reventlov

                      I gave you a 5, not because the joke is good (it's very, very old) but because it's bound to get down-voted.

                      "If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair. nils illegitimus carborundum me, me, me

                      E Offline
                      E Offline
                      Espen Harlinn
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #11

                      mark merrens wrote:

                      me, me, me you, you, you

                      Seems you need a similar favour ... ;)

                      Espen Harlinn Principal Architect, Software - Goodtech Projects & Services AS My LinkedIn Profile

                      1 Reply Last reply
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                      • L loctrice

                        Until last year I had my daughter absolutely convinced that if I unscrewed her belly button her legs would fall off. Now it's that chocolate milk comes from brown cows (she thought that one up) so when she asked where strawberry milk comes from, I told her they had to dye the cows hair :D

                        If it moves, compile it

                        K Offline
                        K Offline
                        Kyudos
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #12

                        Nice - I told my son that the PIR sensors from our house alarm are Santa's camera's - when they flash he's watching you!

                        L 1 Reply Last reply
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                        • K Kyudos

                          Nice - I told my son that the PIR sensors from our house alarm are Santa's camera's - when they flash he's watching you!

                          L Offline
                          L Offline
                          loctrice
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #13

                          nice. We don't do christmas, but if we did I would be tempted to use that one

                          If it moves, compile it

                          1 Reply Last reply
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