Why Women Shouldn't Take Men Shopping
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i know it's bit long but worth reading :-) After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target. Dear Mrs. Samuel, Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Samuel, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras. 1.June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking. 2.July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3.July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom. 4.July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money. 5.August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway. 6.August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 7.August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged. 8.August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called. 9.September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose. 10.September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were. 11.October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme. 12.October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels. 13.October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!' 14.October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!' And last, but certainly not least: 15.October 23: Went into
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i know it's bit long but worth reading :-) After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target. Dear Mrs. Samuel, Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Samuel, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras. 1.June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking. 2.July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3.July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom. 4.July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money. 5.August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway. 6.August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 7.August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged. 8.August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called. 9.September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose. 10.September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were. 11.October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme. 12.October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels. 13.October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!' 14.October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!' And last, but certainly not least: 15.October 23: Went into
Repost, but still good!
CS2011 wrote:
3.July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader." - John Quincy Adams
You must accept one of two basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe, or we are not alone in the universe. And either way, the implications are staggering” - Wernher von Braun -
Repost, but still good!
CS2011 wrote:
3.July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader." - John Quincy Adams
You must accept one of two basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe, or we are not alone in the universe. And either way, the implications are staggering” - Wernher von Braun -
sorry, no link, but i remember reading the mostly same joke here on CP
If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader." - John Quincy Adams
You must accept one of two basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe, or we are not alone in the universe. And either way, the implications are staggering” - Wernher von Braun -
Here's a couple: Oct 24 '11[^] May 31 '06[^]
Jack of all trades ~ Master of none.
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Here's a couple: Oct 24 '11[^] May 31 '06[^]
Jack of all trades ~ Master of none.
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:-D Still a fun list, I am tempted to do a few of those...
Jack of all trades ~ Master of none.
The problem is, I have done quite a few of them...I have a low boredom threshold for shopping. In fact, the only ones I haven't are 4, 5, 6, 8, 10 and 11...
Ideological Purity is no substitute for being able to stick your thumb down a pipe to stop the water
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i know it's bit long but worth reading :-) After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target. Dear Mrs. Samuel, Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Samuel, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras. 1.June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking. 2.July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3.July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom. 4.July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money. 5.August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway. 6.August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 7.August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged. 8.August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called. 9.September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose. 10.September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were. 11.October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme. 12.October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels. 13.October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!' 14.October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!' And last, but certainly not least: 15.October 23: Went into
