Insect in Beer
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Englishman : Throws his mug away and walks out American : Takes the insect out and drinks the beer Chinese : Eats the insect and throws the beer away Indian : Sells the beer to the American and insect to the Chinese and gets a new mug of beer. Pakistani : Accuses the Indian for throwing insect into his beer, relates the issue to Kashmir, asks the Chinese for Military aid, takes a loan from the American to buy one more mug of beer.
Write what you Do and Do what you Write!!
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Englishman : Throws his mug away and walks out American : Takes the insect out and drinks the beer Chinese : Eats the insect and throws the beer away Indian : Sells the beer to the American and insect to the Chinese and gets a new mug of beer. Pakistani : Accuses the Indian for throwing insect into his beer, relates the issue to Kashmir, asks the Chinese for Military aid, takes a loan from the American to buy one more mug of beer.
Write what you Do and Do what you Write!!
Fail!
Ideological Purity is no substitute for being able to stick your thumb down a pipe to stop the water
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Englishman : Throws his mug away and walks out American : Takes the insect out and drinks the beer Chinese : Eats the insect and throws the beer away Indian : Sells the beer to the American and insect to the Chinese and gets a new mug of beer. Pakistani : Accuses the Indian for throwing insect into his beer, relates the issue to Kashmir, asks the Chinese for Military aid, takes a loan from the American to buy one more mug of beer.
Write what you Do and Do what you Write!!
No. Its funny [not the joke obviously], but a trend I've noticed is jokes like this one (nationalities conforming to to some stereotype or another) and posted by Indian members always manages to clumsily squeeze India into the thing, and always show the Indians in a good light. The other thing that they've all done (at least the ones that have registered) is mention Kashmir. And they've all blamed the Pakistanis for brining it up. Here is a revised version Englishman : Takes his glass back to the bar, and requests a new pint. American : Takes his glass back to the bar, and requests a new pint. I hate to admit it, but we're not all that different. Chinese : Takes his [whatever vessel the Chinese use to drink beer] back to the bar, and requests a new [whatever unit size the Chinese use to server beer]. Pakistani : Probably doesn't have a beer as he is probably Muslim. :sigh:
Sort of a cross between Lawrence of Arabia and Dilbert.[^]
-Or-
A Dead ringer for Kate Winslett[^] -
Englishman : Throws his mug away and walks out American : Takes the insect out and drinks the beer Chinese : Eats the insect and throws the beer away Indian : Sells the beer to the American and insect to the Chinese and gets a new mug of beer. Pakistani : Accuses the Indian for throwing insect into his beer, relates the issue to Kashmir, asks the Chinese for Military aid, takes a loan from the American to buy one more mug of beer.
Write what you Do and Do what you Write!!
NeilVijay wrote:
Englishman : Throws his mug away and walks out
Two things. First of all, we tend to drink beer out of glasses (or for the uncouth) bottles. Secondly. Have you met Dalek Dave? He never throws alcohol away; well, not until it's had a chance to passage through his body.
*pre-emptive celebratory nipple tassle jiggle* - Sean Ewington
"Mind bleach! Send me mind bleach!" - Nagy Vilmos
CodeStash - Online Snippet Management | My blog | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier
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No. Its funny [not the joke obviously], but a trend I've noticed is jokes like this one (nationalities conforming to to some stereotype or another) and posted by Indian members always manages to clumsily squeeze India into the thing, and always show the Indians in a good light. The other thing that they've all done (at least the ones that have registered) is mention Kashmir. And they've all blamed the Pakistanis for brining it up. Here is a revised version Englishman : Takes his glass back to the bar, and requests a new pint. American : Takes his glass back to the bar, and requests a new pint. I hate to admit it, but we're not all that different. Chinese : Takes his [whatever vessel the Chinese use to drink beer] back to the bar, and requests a new [whatever unit size the Chinese use to server beer]. Pakistani : Probably doesn't have a beer as he is probably Muslim. :sigh:
Sort of a cross between Lawrence of Arabia and Dilbert.[^]
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A Dead ringer for Kate Winslett[^]Keith Barrow wrote:
Englishman : Takes his glass back to the bar, and says "can you please put this in the microwave for a while, this beer is cold"
FTFY
Und wenn du lange in einen abgrund blickst, blickt der Abgrund auch in dich hinein - Friedrich Nietzsche
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No. Its funny [not the joke obviously], but a trend I've noticed is jokes like this one (nationalities conforming to to some stereotype or another) and posted by Indian members always manages to clumsily squeeze India into the thing, and always show the Indians in a good light. The other thing that they've all done (at least the ones that have registered) is mention Kashmir. And they've all blamed the Pakistanis for brining it up. Here is a revised version Englishman : Takes his glass back to the bar, and requests a new pint. American : Takes his glass back to the bar, and requests a new pint. I hate to admit it, but we're not all that different. Chinese : Takes his [whatever vessel the Chinese use to drink beer] back to the bar, and requests a new [whatever unit size the Chinese use to server beer]. Pakistani : Probably doesn't have a beer as he is probably Muslim. :sigh:
Sort of a cross between Lawrence of Arabia and Dilbert.[^]
-Or-
A Dead ringer for Kate Winslett[^] -
Keith Barrow wrote:
Englishman : Takes his glass back to the bar, and says "can you please put this in the microwave for a while, this beer is cold"
FTFY
Und wenn du lange in einen abgrund blickst, blickt der Abgrund auch in dich hinein - Friedrich Nietzsche
Its cold enough over here without making the beer cold.
You cant outrun the world, but there is no harm in getting a head start Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.
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No. Its funny [not the joke obviously], but a trend I've noticed is jokes like this one (nationalities conforming to to some stereotype or another) and posted by Indian members always manages to clumsily squeeze India into the thing, and always show the Indians in a good light. The other thing that they've all done (at least the ones that have registered) is mention Kashmir. And they've all blamed the Pakistanis for brining it up. Here is a revised version Englishman : Takes his glass back to the bar, and requests a new pint. American : Takes his glass back to the bar, and requests a new pint. I hate to admit it, but we're not all that different. Chinese : Takes his [whatever vessel the Chinese use to drink beer] back to the bar, and requests a new [whatever unit size the Chinese use to server beer]. Pakistani : Probably doesn't have a beer as he is probably Muslim. :sigh:
Sort of a cross between Lawrence of Arabia and Dilbert.[^]
-Or-
A Dead ringer for Kate Winslett[^] -
NeilVijay wrote:
Englishman : Throws his mug away and walks out
Two things. First of all, we tend to drink beer out of glasses (or for the uncouth) bottles. Secondly. Have you met Dalek Dave? He never throws alcohol away; well, not until it's had a chance to passage through his body.
*pre-emptive celebratory nipple tassle jiggle* - Sean Ewington
"Mind bleach! Send me mind bleach!" - Nagy Vilmos
CodeStash - Online Snippet Management | My blog | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier
Pete O'Hanlon wrote:
Two things. First of all, we tend to drink beer out of glasses (or for the uncouth) bottles.
My father-in-law refuses anything but a mug[^] for his beer, and several other regulars do too. I went into a pub near Devizes many years ago, it was a very local place. Above the bar were a large number of hooks, each with a name and a pint mug hanging from them. Behind the bar a chalk board with the name of each regular and how many they had in.
Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends.
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Scotsman: Takes the fly out of his drink and shakes it over the glass shouting "Spit it oot ya bastad".
Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends.
Good one!
Und wenn du lange in einen abgrund blickst, blickt der Abgrund auch in dich hinein - Friedrich Nietzsche
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No. Its funny [not the joke obviously], but a trend I've noticed is jokes like this one (nationalities conforming to to some stereotype or another) and posted by Indian members always manages to clumsily squeeze India into the thing, and always show the Indians in a good light. The other thing that they've all done (at least the ones that have registered) is mention Kashmir. And they've all blamed the Pakistanis for brining it up. Here is a revised version Englishman : Takes his glass back to the bar, and requests a new pint. American : Takes his glass back to the bar, and requests a new pint. I hate to admit it, but we're not all that different. Chinese : Takes his [whatever vessel the Chinese use to drink beer] back to the bar, and requests a new [whatever unit size the Chinese use to server beer]. Pakistani : Probably doesn't have a beer as he is probably Muslim. :sigh:
Sort of a cross between Lawrence of Arabia and Dilbert.[^]
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A Dead ringer for Kate Winslett[^]Let me add a few... Greek: Takes his beer back to the bar and asks for a new one Israeli: Takes his beer back to the bar, gets a new one, expects compensation. When not getting any compensation he blows the thing out of proporsion at a tabloid the next day :D
Alberto Bar-Noy --------------- “The city’s central computer told you? R2D2, you know better than to trust a strange computer!” (C3PO)
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Pete O'Hanlon wrote:
Two things. First of all, we tend to drink beer out of glasses (or for the uncouth) bottles.
My father-in-law refuses anything but a mug[^] for his beer, and several other regulars do too. I went into a pub near Devizes many years ago, it was a very local place. Above the bar were a large number of hooks, each with a name and a pint mug hanging from them. Behind the bar a chalk board with the name of each regular and how many they had in.
Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends.
I used to drink in a bar were most regulars ran a tab. If you said get one in for X, they'd just move a drink from one bill to the other. :-D
Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett
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No. Its funny [not the joke obviously], but a trend I've noticed is jokes like this one (nationalities conforming to to some stereotype or another) and posted by Indian members always manages to clumsily squeeze India into the thing, and always show the Indians in a good light. The other thing that they've all done (at least the ones that have registered) is mention Kashmir. And they've all blamed the Pakistanis for brining it up. Here is a revised version Englishman : Takes his glass back to the bar, and requests a new pint. American : Takes his glass back to the bar, and requests a new pint. I hate to admit it, but we're not all that different. Chinese : Takes his [whatever vessel the Chinese use to drink beer] back to the bar, and requests a new [whatever unit size the Chinese use to server beer]. Pakistani : Probably doesn't have a beer as he is probably Muslim. :sigh:
Sort of a cross between Lawrence of Arabia and Dilbert.[^]
-Or-
A Dead ringer for Kate Winslett[^]Keith Barrow wrote:
a trend I've noticed is jokes like this one (nationalities conforming to to some stereotype or another) and posted by Indian members always manages to clumsily squeeze India into the thing, and always show the Indians in a good light.
And that is somehow different from what others would do? Would you write a joke that presents your country in a bad light? And if you did, would such a joke be popular in your country? You could have easily said: A trend I've noticed is jokes like this one (nationalities conforming to to some stereotype or another) and posted by [[insert country]] members always manages to clumsily squeeze [[insert country]] into the thing, and always show the [[insert country]] in a good light.
Keith Barrow wrote:
The other thing that they've all done (at least the ones that have registered) is mention Kashmir. And they've all blamed the Pakistanis for brining it up.
If you lived in India/Pakistan, you would know that Pakistan really does somehow manage to bring Kashmir into almost every issue. Hence the stereotype. And hence the jokes. You know how when they draw caricatures of politicians or other people, they draw a huge nose, or a huge lip, or a hugely protruding forehead, etc.? And everyone knows that of course the nose or the lip or the forehead is not that big in relation to the rest of the face, but it's still a fun way of pointing out that the person has a huge nose, lip or forehead, etc.? Jokes based on stereotypes are just like that. Get it now?
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Pete O'Hanlon wrote:
Two things. First of all, we tend to drink beer out of glasses (or for the uncouth) bottles.
My father-in-law refuses anything but a mug[^] for his beer, and several other regulars do too. I went into a pub near Devizes many years ago, it was a very local place. Above the bar were a large number of hooks, each with a name and a pint mug hanging from them. Behind the bar a chalk board with the name of each regular and how many they had in.
Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends.
Those were "Jugs" in my local as opposed to Schooners
You cant outrun the world, but there is no harm in getting a head start Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.
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Keith Barrow wrote:
a trend I've noticed is jokes like this one (nationalities conforming to to some stereotype or another) and posted by Indian members always manages to clumsily squeeze India into the thing, and always show the Indians in a good light.
And that is somehow different from what others would do? Would you write a joke that presents your country in a bad light? And if you did, would such a joke be popular in your country? You could have easily said: A trend I've noticed is jokes like this one (nationalities conforming to to some stereotype or another) and posted by [[insert country]] members always manages to clumsily squeeze [[insert country]] into the thing, and always show the [[insert country]] in a good light.
Keith Barrow wrote:
The other thing that they've all done (at least the ones that have registered) is mention Kashmir. And they've all blamed the Pakistanis for brining it up.
If you lived in India/Pakistan, you would know that Pakistan really does somehow manage to bring Kashmir into almost every issue. Hence the stereotype. And hence the jokes. You know how when they draw caricatures of politicians or other people, they draw a huge nose, or a huge lip, or a hugely protruding forehead, etc.? And everyone knows that of course the nose or the lip or the forehead is not that big in relation to the rest of the face, but it's still a fun way of pointing out that the person has a huge nose, lip or forehead, etc.? Jokes based on stereotypes are just like that. Get it now?
smaaaart wrote:
And that is somehow different from what others would do? Would you write a joke that presents your country in a bad light?
Hell Yeh.
smaaaart wrote:
And if you did, would such a joke be popular in your country?
I refer the honourable gentlman to the comment I made some moments ago.
smaaaart wrote:
If you lived in India/Pakistan, you would know that Pakistan really does somehow manage to bring Kashmir into almost every issue.
this[^] page, searched for Kashmir in the text and got zero matches.I'd like to see some solid statistics on your contention, otherwise this is pretty racist.
smaaaart wrote:
Get it now?
No, there's no Irishman.
Sort of a cross between Lawrence of Arabia and Dilbert.[^]
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A Dead ringer for Kate Winslett[^] -
smaaaart wrote:
And that is somehow different from what others would do? Would you write a joke that presents your country in a bad light?
Hell Yeh.
smaaaart wrote:
And if you did, would such a joke be popular in your country?
I refer the honourable gentlman to the comment I made some moments ago.
smaaaart wrote:
If you lived in India/Pakistan, you would know that Pakistan really does somehow manage to bring Kashmir into almost every issue.
this[^] page, searched for Kashmir in the text and got zero matches.I'd like to see some solid statistics on your contention, otherwise this is pretty racist.
smaaaart wrote:
Get it now?
No, there's no Irishman.
Sort of a cross between Lawrence of Arabia and Dilbert.[^]
-Or-
A Dead ringer for Kate Winslett[^]:thumbsup: :laugh:
Alberto Bar-Noy --------------- “The city’s central computer told you? R2D2, you know better than to trust a strange computer!” (C3PO)
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smaaaart wrote:
And that is somehow different from what others would do? Would you write a joke that presents your country in a bad light?
Hell Yeh.
smaaaart wrote:
And if you did, would such a joke be popular in your country?
I refer the honourable gentlman to the comment I made some moments ago.
smaaaart wrote:
If you lived in India/Pakistan, you would know that Pakistan really does somehow manage to bring Kashmir into almost every issue.
this[^] page, searched for Kashmir in the text and got zero matches.I'd like to see some solid statistics on your contention, otherwise this is pretty racist.
smaaaart wrote:
Get it now?
No, there's no Irishman.
Sort of a cross between Lawrence of Arabia and Dilbert.[^]
-Or-
A Dead ringer for Kate Winslett[^]Keith Barrow wrote:
Hell Yeh.
Yeah, right.
Keith Barrow wrote:
this[^] page, searched for Kashmir in the text and got zero matches.
I refer the gentleman to this comment of mine:
I wrote:
You know how when they draw caricatures of politicians or other people, they draw a huge nose, or a huge lip, or a hugely protruding forehead, etc.? And everyone knows that of course the nose or the lip or the forehead is not that big in relation to the rest of the face, but it's still a fun way of pointing out that the person has a huge nose, lip or forehead, etc.? Jokes based on stereotypes are just like that.
Please read it. Slowly, this time, in case you fail to understand again. And then consider that stereotypes are about things that have happened for quite a while in the past. Not necessarily what is happening currently.
Keith Barrow wrote:
pretty racist.
ROFL! Are you for real?
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Keith Barrow wrote:
Hell Yeh.
Yeah, right.
Keith Barrow wrote:
this[^] page, searched for Kashmir in the text and got zero matches.
I refer the gentleman to this comment of mine:
I wrote:
You know how when they draw caricatures of politicians or other people, they draw a huge nose, or a huge lip, or a hugely protruding forehead, etc.? And everyone knows that of course the nose or the lip or the forehead is not that big in relation to the rest of the face, but it's still a fun way of pointing out that the person has a huge nose, lip or forehead, etc.? Jokes based on stereotypes are just like that.
Please read it. Slowly, this time, in case you fail to understand again. And then consider that stereotypes are about things that have happened for quite a while in the past. Not necessarily what is happening currently.
Keith Barrow wrote:
pretty racist.
ROFL! Are you for real?
smaaaart wrote:
Yeah, right.
Because the British aren't well known for their self deprecating wit, another thing we have failed at I suppose.
smaaaart wrote:
Please read it. Slowly, this time, in case you fail to understand again.
Oh I both read and understood it. Tell me, how does this invalidate my observation about the original joke? In cas eyou can't remember, it was the bit about, of these types of jokes when told by Indians, squeezing unfunnily coercing a positive stereotype Indian into the mix (where it clearly there wasn't one oringally), then a bit about Pakistan, accusing them of raising the issue of Kashmir.
smaaaart wrote:
ROFL! Are you for real?
I've sited one source backing my claim up (about Kashmir). I notice you can't do the same, so I can only assume you are, indeed, racist. If you quantitatively prove that Pakistanis bring up the subject of Kashmir more than 50% of the time, I'll happily retract this contention.
Sort of a cross between Lawrence of Arabia and Dilbert.[^]
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A Dead ringer for Kate Winslett[^] -
smaaaart wrote:
Yeah, right.
Because the British aren't well known for their self deprecating wit, another thing we have failed at I suppose.
smaaaart wrote:
Please read it. Slowly, this time, in case you fail to understand again.
Oh I both read and understood it. Tell me, how does this invalidate my observation about the original joke? In cas eyou can't remember, it was the bit about, of these types of jokes when told by Indians, squeezing unfunnily coercing a positive stereotype Indian into the mix (where it clearly there wasn't one oringally), then a bit about Pakistan, accusing them of raising the issue of Kashmir.
smaaaart wrote:
ROFL! Are you for real?
I've sited one source backing my claim up (about Kashmir). I notice you can't do the same, so I can only assume you are, indeed, racist. If you quantitatively prove that Pakistanis bring up the subject of Kashmir more than 50% of the time, I'll happily retract this contention.
Sort of a cross between Lawrence of Arabia and Dilbert.[^]
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A Dead ringer for Kate Winslett[^]Keith Barrow wrote:
Tell me, how does this invalidate my observation about the original joke? In cas eyou can't remember, it was the bit about, of these types of jokes when told by Indians, squeezing unfunnily coercing a positive stereotype Indian into the mix (where it clearly there wasn't one oringally), then a bit about Pakistan, accusing them of raising the issue of Kashmir.
My point was that stereotypes are always based on exaggerated versions of reality. Secondly, jokes where people from a particular country are shown in a positive light, and others are made fun of, are pretty common. What's so different about this one? As for accusing Pakis of raising the issue of Kashmir, and the following comment of yours...
Keith Barrow wrote:
I've sited one source backing my claim up (about Kashmir). I notice you can't do the same, so I can only assume you are, indeed, racist. If you quantitatively prove that Pakistanis bring up the subject of Kashmir more than 50% of the time, I'll happily retract this contention.
Pakistanis keep bringing up Kashmir because it's a part of India, and they want it to be free/a part of Pakistan/a Pakistan-supported nation/state. India, on the other hand, doesn't need to keep bringing up Kashmir, because, you see, why would we need to? Kashmir is already a part of India, so we are not likely to claim Pakistan took it away or something. Pakistan is the one who keeps breaching the borders, does ceasefire violations on the borders, etc. Of course, you won't find all that in today's news. Or yesterday's. And so on. But that doesn't mean these things don't happen. I can't believe you link to a website saying since it doesn't mention Kashmir on the front page, it is statistically proven that Pakistanis don't keep bringing up Kashmir every now and then. Just a month or so ago, the Pakistani army opened fire on the border. But you won't find it in today's news, would you? Kashmir is a pain point for both India and Pakistan. It has been a cause of war between the two countries for the past six decades or so. The entire terrorist "mission" against India is because Pakistanis are still sore that they couldn't snatch Kashmir away from us, despite their repeated attempts. The front page of a news site is no "source backing your claim up." If you think I can't back up my "claim" statistically or quantitatively or otherwise, I don't care. I don't ne
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Keith Barrow wrote:
Tell me, how does this invalidate my observation about the original joke? In cas eyou can't remember, it was the bit about, of these types of jokes when told by Indians, squeezing unfunnily coercing a positive stereotype Indian into the mix (where it clearly there wasn't one oringally), then a bit about Pakistan, accusing them of raising the issue of Kashmir.
My point was that stereotypes are always based on exaggerated versions of reality. Secondly, jokes where people from a particular country are shown in a positive light, and others are made fun of, are pretty common. What's so different about this one? As for accusing Pakis of raising the issue of Kashmir, and the following comment of yours...
Keith Barrow wrote:
I've sited one source backing my claim up (about Kashmir). I notice you can't do the same, so I can only assume you are, indeed, racist. If you quantitatively prove that Pakistanis bring up the subject of Kashmir more than 50% of the time, I'll happily retract this contention.
Pakistanis keep bringing up Kashmir because it's a part of India, and they want it to be free/a part of Pakistan/a Pakistan-supported nation/state. India, on the other hand, doesn't need to keep bringing up Kashmir, because, you see, why would we need to? Kashmir is already a part of India, so we are not likely to claim Pakistan took it away or something. Pakistan is the one who keeps breaching the borders, does ceasefire violations on the borders, etc. Of course, you won't find all that in today's news. Or yesterday's. And so on. But that doesn't mean these things don't happen. I can't believe you link to a website saying since it doesn't mention Kashmir on the front page, it is statistically proven that Pakistanis don't keep bringing up Kashmir every now and then. Just a month or so ago, the Pakistani army opened fire on the border. But you won't find it in today's news, would you? Kashmir is a pain point for both India and Pakistan. It has been a cause of war between the two countries for the past six decades or so. The entire terrorist "mission" against India is because Pakistanis are still sore that they couldn't snatch Kashmir away from us, despite their repeated attempts. The front page of a news site is no "source backing your claim up." If you think I can't back up my "claim" statistically or quantitatively or otherwise, I don't care. I don't ne
smaaaart wrote:
As for accusing Pakis of raising
:wtf: Well, that just about proves my hypothesis, as if the rest of your screed already didn't.
smaaaart wrote:
Of course, you won't find all that in today's news. Or yesterday's. And so on.
So, in fact, you ackowledge that they don't "bring it up most of the time."
smaaaart wrote:
Pakistanis are still sore that they couldn't snatch Kashmir away from us, despite their repeated attempts.
This seems quite defensive to me.
smaaaart wrote:
The front page of a news site is no "source backing your claim up."
Yeh it does, you said "Pakistani's bring up Kashmir most of the time" I provided a link to a Pakistani newspaper that didn't mention it at all. For your contention to be likely to be valid, more than 50% of the articles would need to mention it.
smaaaart wrote:
If you think I can't back up my "claim" statistically or quantitatively or otherwise, I don't care. I don't need to
This is a pretty typical argument of someone who can't back up their claims.
smaaaart wrote:
We do joke about Pakistan and India and Kashmir and what not, but it's not a joke at all.
Wait. What? Are these racist "jokes" jokes or not? If not they are just racist.
smaaaart wrote:
The situation is much more serious than you realize.
Oh, I know well enough about the situation in Kashmir, I just don't think it justifies the casual anti-Pakistani sentiment exhibited by a minority of [ostensibly] Indian members here.
Sort of a cross between Lawrence of Arabia and Dilbert.[^]
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A Dead ringer for Kate Winslett[^]
