Very, very bad joke...
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A woman married a man who did not believe in pre-marital sex. Despite not being a virgin, she had convinced him that she was. On the day of their honeymoon, she sought advice from a friend as to how she could keep her secret, seeing that she would be knocking boots with her husband for the "first time." Her friend suggested that she shove a piece of raw, bloody meat up her vagina, so that when her husband dished out the dong, she would bleed like a true virgin. The woman shoved the meat up her vaj and then had great sex with her new husband that night. The next morning, the woman woke up and saw that her husband was gone and had left a note on the night stand. It read: "Honey, this relationship is too intense for a guy like me. I will always love you. Oh, and your vagina is in the sink."
"If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair. nils illegitimus carborundum me, me, me