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logical science

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  • R Offline
    R Offline
    Ra one
    wrote on last edited by
    #1

    Oldie but Goodie.... Hope you like it ------------------------------------------------------------------- Two builders (Dave and Stuart) are seated either side of a table in a rough pub when a well-dressed man enters, orders a beer and sits on a stool at the bar The two builders start to speculate about the occupation of the suit Dave: - I reckon he's an accountant. Stuart: - No way - he's a stockbroker. Dave: - He ain't no stockbroker! A stockbroker wouldn't come in here! The argument repeats itself until they are all drunk. Dave goes to the toilet. On entering the toilet he sees that the suit is standing at a urinal. Curiosity and the several beers get the better of the builder . >> Dave: - 'Scuse me... no offence meant, but me and me mate were wondering what you do for a living? Suit: - No offence taken! I'm a Logical Scientist by profession Dave: - Oh! What's that then? Suit: - I'll try to explain by example... Do you have a goldfish at home? Dave: - Er... mmm... well yeah, I do as it happens! Suit: - Well, it's logical to follow that you keep it in a bowl or in a pond. Which is it? >> Dave: - It's in a pond! >> Suit: - Well it's reasonable to suppose that you have a large garden then? Dave: - As it happens, yes I have got a big garden. >> Suit: - Well then it's logical to assume that in this town if you have a large garden then you have a large house? Dave: - As it happens I've got a five bedroom house... built it myself! Suit: - Well given that you've built a five bedroom house it is logical to assume that you haven't built it just for yourself and that you are quite probably married? Dave: - Yes I am married, I live with my wife and four children. Suit: - Well then it is logical to assume that you are sexually active with your wife on a regular basis? Dave: - Yep! Five times a week! Suit: - Well then it is logical to suggest that you do not masturbate (wank) very often? Dave: - Do what? Not me mate! Suit: - Well there you are! That's logical science at work! Dave: - How's that then? Suit: - Well from finding out that you had a goldfish, I've told you about your sex life! Dave: - I see! That's pretty impressive... thanks mate! Both leave the toilet and Dave returns to his mate. Stuart: - I see the suit was in there. Did you ask him what he does? Dave: - Yep! He's a logical scientist! Stuart: - What's that then? Dave: - I'll try and explain. Do you have a goldfish? Stuart: - Nope Dave: - Well then, you're a wanker.

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    • R Ra one

      Oldie but Goodie.... Hope you like it ------------------------------------------------------------------- Two builders (Dave and Stuart) are seated either side of a table in a rough pub when a well-dressed man enters, orders a beer and sits on a stool at the bar The two builders start to speculate about the occupation of the suit Dave: - I reckon he's an accountant. Stuart: - No way - he's a stockbroker. Dave: - He ain't no stockbroker! A stockbroker wouldn't come in here! The argument repeats itself until they are all drunk. Dave goes to the toilet. On entering the toilet he sees that the suit is standing at a urinal. Curiosity and the several beers get the better of the builder . >> Dave: - 'Scuse me... no offence meant, but me and me mate were wondering what you do for a living? Suit: - No offence taken! I'm a Logical Scientist by profession Dave: - Oh! What's that then? Suit: - I'll try to explain by example... Do you have a goldfish at home? Dave: - Er... mmm... well yeah, I do as it happens! Suit: - Well, it's logical to follow that you keep it in a bowl or in a pond. Which is it? >> Dave: - It's in a pond! >> Suit: - Well it's reasonable to suppose that you have a large garden then? Dave: - As it happens, yes I have got a big garden. >> Suit: - Well then it's logical to assume that in this town if you have a large garden then you have a large house? Dave: - As it happens I've got a five bedroom house... built it myself! Suit: - Well given that you've built a five bedroom house it is logical to assume that you haven't built it just for yourself and that you are quite probably married? Dave: - Yes I am married, I live with my wife and four children. Suit: - Well then it is logical to assume that you are sexually active with your wife on a regular basis? Dave: - Yep! Five times a week! Suit: - Well then it is logical to suggest that you do not masturbate (wank) very often? Dave: - Do what? Not me mate! Suit: - Well there you are! That's logical science at work! Dave: - How's that then? Suit: - Well from finding out that you had a goldfish, I've told you about your sex life! Dave: - I see! That's pretty impressive... thanks mate! Both leave the toilet and Dave returns to his mate. Stuart: - I see the suit was in there. Did you ask him what he does? Dave: - Yep! He's a logical scientist! Stuart: - What's that then? Dave: - I'll try and explain. Do you have a goldfish? Stuart: - Nope Dave: - Well then, you're a wanker.

      L Offline
      L Offline
      Lost User
      wrote on last edited by
      #2

      Perhaps you are also a logical scientist and can deduce the meaning of this: 'Und leise rattert im Keller die Bartwickelmaschine.'

      At least artificial intelligence already is superior to natural stupidity

      R J 2 Replies Last reply
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      • L Lost User

        Perhaps you are also a logical scientist and can deduce the meaning of this: 'Und leise rattert im Keller die Bartwickelmaschine.'

        At least artificial intelligence already is superior to natural stupidity

        R Offline
        R Offline
        Ra one
        wrote on last edited by
        #3

        Quote: CDP1802

        Perhaps you are also a logical scientist and can deduce the meaning of this

        Perhaps downvoting me, shows the logical science inside you that made you to conclude in this way. Anyways thanks for the comment :)

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        • R Ra one

          Quote: CDP1802

          Perhaps you are also a logical scientist and can deduce the meaning of this

          Perhaps downvoting me, shows the logical science inside you that made you to conclude in this way. Anyways thanks for the comment :)

          L Offline
          L Offline
          Lost User
          wrote on last edited by
          #4

          I don't downvote, I write comments.

          At least artificial intelligence already is superior to natural stupidity

          R 1 Reply Last reply
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          • L Lost User

            I don't downvote, I write comments.

            At least artificial intelligence already is superior to natural stupidity

            R Offline
            R Offline
            Ra one
            wrote on last edited by
            #5

            Thank you :)

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            • L Lost User

              Perhaps you are also a logical scientist and can deduce the meaning of this: 'Und leise rattert im Keller die Bartwickelmaschine.'

              At least artificial intelligence already is superior to natural stupidity

              J Offline
              J Offline
              Johnny J
              wrote on last edited by
              #6

              CDP1802 wrote:

              'Und leise rattert im Keller die Bartwickelmaschine.'

              That's one I've never heard before. But then again, I don't have a beard... ;P I don't have a basement either for that matter... :doh:

              Why can't I be applicable like John? - Me, April 2011
              -----
              Beidh ceol, caint agus craic againn - Seán Bán Breathnach
              -----
              Da mihi sis crustum Etruscum cum omnibus in eo!
              -----
              Just because a thing is new don’t mean that it’s better - Will Rogers, September 4, 1932

              L 1 Reply Last reply
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              • J Johnny J

                CDP1802 wrote:

                'Und leise rattert im Keller die Bartwickelmaschine.'

                That's one I've never heard before. But then again, I don't have a beard... ;P I don't have a basement either for that matter... :doh:

                Why can't I be applicable like John? - Me, April 2011
                -----
                Beidh ceol, caint agus craic againn - Seán Bán Breathnach
                -----
                Da mihi sis crustum Etruscum cum omnibus in eo!
                -----
                Just because a thing is new don’t mean that it’s better - Will Rogers, September 4, 1932

                L Offline
                L Offline
                Lost User
                wrote on last edited by
                #7

                Hopefully you would not need the machine, even if you had all that. This joke, on the other hand,...

                At least artificial intelligence already is superior to natural stupidity

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